S a m

"It was like a time bomb set into motion. We knew that we were destined to explode." - Time Bomb, All Time Low

Don't shut me out.

Please, listen.

Give me another chance

To prove you wrong

To prove myself wrong.

That maybe we can work.

That maybe

Maybe we are worth it after all.

*

I watch as Lou and two other girls head up the stairs from the beach and onto the concrete pavement. I'm doubt she even wants to see me again. I did make a complete fool of myself during our date, outing, whatever that was, after all.

She must hate me by now, if not already.

I should leave before she sees me. I wouldn't want things to get tensed between us.

You're finally making.

Took you long enough.

I am just about to take off when Lou stops in her tracks, staring right at me, horrified. I freeze, wishing I could turn back the clock and leave the moment I spotted her out here in the first place. Why did I wait so long? Now I'll have to face her and explain myself.

Maybe I should run, get myself out of this mess before it even begins.

I just wish there was a way to tell her, to show her, exactly how I feel.

There's no point denying how I feel about her. It's too strong, too overwhelming. It's most definitely there. Does Lou feel the same way? Is she pushing it away as well?

Do you even know what that feeling implies?

Is it really what you think it is, or is it just a part of your imagination?

"Sam," she says cautiously as she approaches me, trailing behind her companion, seeming reluctant, forcing a smile.

"Hi, Lou. I would ask you how you're doing, but we only just saw each other a couple of hours ago," I reply, trying to sound light, hoping some humour will be enough to distract her.

"Is this the guy you like?" the brunette asks Lou.

She's certainly not afraid to point something out. I wish I could be like that.

"Hi. I'm Ria, Lou's schoolmate," she introduces, extending a hand.

Her long, dark brown hair is tied up in a messy wet bun. Judging by the white towel draped on her right shoulder, I'd say she just went for a swim. Her hazel green eyes are alight with joy and peace. She seems like a nice person. I'm sure she's a good friend to Lou.

Something you'll never be.

I shake it. "Nice to meet you. I'm Sam."

"So I've heard." She pauses. "I vaguely remember Lou saying something about wanting to avoid you?" she comments, directing it more at Lou than me.

I chuckle nervously. "Well, it's a small town," I reply sheepishly, averting my gaze to the ground.

"Why?"

"Ria!" Lou exclaims, cheeks flushing red from embarrassment. "Give him some space."

"You two like each other don't you?" she accuses, squinting her eyes. "Don't even bother denying it. I can tell when two people are attracted to each other."

"Ria! I don't!" Lou protests, seeming like she is on the verge of crying.

"You're blushing, Lou. You like him. I know you, Lou. You're never this kind of flustered around a guy. Ever."

"I—"

"I'll give you guys some space," I say politely, guilt beginning to gnaw at my heart, briefly glancing at their third companion who has remained silent the whole time. "I'm sure you have something planned for the afternoon. I don't want to intrude."

I'm not sure why Ria is accusing us of being together in any way. I doubt she cares about me. And even if she does, she probably won't admit it to me just like that. Neither would I.

You never learn, do you, Sam?

Are you really going to let yet another person you care about slip through your fingers?

"No, please, stay," Ria says. "Walk with us."

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude," I reply hesitantly.

"Yes, we're sure," Ria answers firmly, looking straight into her eyes.

"But—"

"No buts, Louisa. He seems like a nice guy," the other girl finally speaks up, putting her arm around my shoulder. "Hi, I'm Lowella, Lou's sister. Call me Low."

"H-Hi," I stutter, my heart beating faster, feeling as though I've just interrupted an intimate moment.

Maybe I should deny the offer.

"So, what do you say?" Low asks, eyes sparkling with hope.

I sigh. "I suppose."

"Great!" Ria exclaims. "Let's go."

They head down the road and I follow from behind, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I need a sign, a confirmation, from Lou, that she's done with me. I need her to tell me that she doesn't want me around and for me to leave. That's the only way I can move on.

Right now, I'm just hanging midair, unsure what to do.

I know I should give up, I should let go, but at the same time, there's still that small part of me that's holding on to that sliver of hope.

Why are you thinking about moving on from what hasn't even happened yet?

You're getting ahead of yourself.

Ria and Lou launch into an in depth discussion about some school activity and the coming school year. Well, Ria does most of the talking and Lou just listens. I walk in silence behind them, next to Lowella, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. After all, this is their outing. I'm just an intruder.

"Sam," Ria starts. "Where would you suggest we go? I really want to see more of this place. It's beautiful so far."

I chuckle. "What, because we have a beach?"

She grins. "Precisely."

"Why don't you take us out?" Low says, a smile tugging on her lips.

Do you really want to?

I have to.

"I guess," I answer, somewhat reluctantly.

Though Ria and Low didn't seem to catch it. "That's awesome!" Ria squeals, excited.

"Thank you!" Low exclaims.

I steal a glance at Lou, her eyes glued to the ground. She looks up meekly, our eyes meet and in that instant, I know the feeling is mutual.

You practically severed the tie, Sam. Don't put the blame on her.

"I'm not sure where to bring you actually," I reply sheepishly. "Really the only nice place to go is the beach."

"We can just get ready for anything and have the most awesome day," Ria says, still as excited as ever.

I'm suddenly afraid of letting them down.

As if you haven't done that to so many people in the past.

"That's a good idea."

"Great."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning? Say, around ten?"

Ria nods, answering for the three of them. "Sure. See you then."

This is it. My second chance to prove myself to Lou.

Is it really?

Or maybe it's a chance for her to prove me wrong. That whatever spark I thought I felt between us is purely in my imagination.

Is that really what you want?

I want it to be real more than ever. It's what Lily would want, I know it is. But I can't. I feel like I owe it to her and to Lou to stay away, before I ruin anyone else's life along with mine.

*

I wake up to the shrill sound of my phone's ringtone. I reach for it on my bedside table, fumbling around blindly, and pick up the call without so much as glancing at the screen.

"Hello?" I say groggily, stifling a yawn.

"Sam? Did I wake you? I'm so sorry," she replies softly, voice quivering ever so slightly.

Lou.

Why is she calling me? Am I late? But I was so sure I set my alarm for 8:30 this morning so I won't be late. Or maybe I accidentally set it for 8:30 in the evening. This wouldn't be the first time if that happened.

"No, it's fine. Am I late?" I ask.

"What? No, no, no," she answers hastily. "Umm I'm calling to tell you Basil is bringing Ria and I to the beach in the afternoon for a picnic with Francesca and Jasmine. He asked me to ask if you wanted to come along as well?"

She sounds nervous, maybe thinking that inviting me is a bad idea.

It is.

Of course Basil would offer to bring them out. She has briefly mentioned that he's staying at her aunt's as well with her during the few conversations we've had. And I'm sure Ria and Low is staying with them as well. It's only natural Basil would play their host.

Why should I be surprised?

"Sure, I guess." I pause, resigning to the afternoon's change of events. "So are we still on this morning?"

"I-I don't think so. We can just meet in the afternoon today, I guess. I think Ria will be here for at least the next two weeks. There's still time for you to bring us out."

"Okay. I'll see you in the afternoon then."

"Yeah."

"Bye," I say.

"Bye, Sam."

"Wait-"

But she has already hung up up the call.

I suppose it doesn't matter. I can always text her to ask what time we're going to meet.

Is that all you wanted to ask?

I know she's just saying goodbye because, well, it's what people say before the end of a call. But why do I feel like that one word meant much more than that?

Because, maybe, that's exactly what she meant.

*

"Wow. When you said you were having a 'picnic', I didn't think you guys were having it on such a huge scale," Fran comments, walking up to the group.

I chuckle. "Fran, I'm pretty sure this is what the term 'picnic' means."

I ran into her while on my way here and we decided to come together. We did have quite a nice chat though, able to catch up for a bit. We didn't manage to talk the other day at the fair because we were all too busy getting scared in the haunted house and she had to leave right after we got out.

I asked her how she was doing and accidentally let Tony's name slip, but she didn't seem to mind. She has either since moved on or she was just hiding how she really felt, though I highly doubt it. Fran has never been one to hide how she felt.

She took it really badly after Tony ended their relationship. I'm glad she moved on. She deserve to be happy, considering how she always goes out of her way to make sure we all are.

Speak for yourself.

It was nice catching up with her.

"Well, you know me, Fran. I like to go all out," Basil replies, laughing lightheartedly.

"That is true," she answers, plopping her bag onto the beach mat and sitting down crosslegged. "I'm Francesca, by the way. But you can call me Fran."

"Hi Fran. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Ria."

"Low," she introduces, extending a hand, which Fran shakes.

"The pleasure is all mine."

"Do you want to go swimming?" Ria asks, averting her attention towards me.

I shake my head, plastering a smile. "I don't really feel like it today. Sorry," I answer.

"Funny. That's exactly what Lou said as well. And she promised she would the next time we came to the beach."

I shrug. "It's purely coincidental."

She smirks at me, raising her eyebrows. "Fate—"

"Ria, I assure you, there's nothing going on between us."

"Well, Louisa, and Sam, everyone seems to think otherwise," Fran says, joining in our conversation, winking at me. "Everyone can see the way you look at each other. Also, there's that feeling in the air between you two."

I give her a sad smile. "Nope. Like Lou said, nothing's going on."

You wish.

"Well," Ria starts, shrugging. "I'm sure something will happen soon. We just need to wait and see."

Fran laughs, pushing Ria playfully. "Or maybe the two need a little push."

"Oh, I assure you. When it comes to Lou, she definitely does," Low adds in, giggling along.

The three of them continue chatting, very animatedly, might I add, as though they have been friends for years. I've always envied people who can get along well so quickly. I've always had trouble doing that.

You're the one who doesn't try hard enough, Sam.

Don't blame the other party.

"Anyway, where is Lou?" I ask Basil.

He points towards the cliff. "Last I saw her she was headed that way. Said she needed to get away for a bit."

"Is she alright?"

He waves his hand dismissively. "I'm sure she is. Nothing to worry about."

I nod. "Thanks. Also, where's Jasmine?" I add, not wanting to give anyone another reason to force Lou and I together.

We're not right for each other. We never will be.

You're the one not right for her. She's too good for you.

He shrugs. "She's not here yet. Probably on the way."

"I see. Thanks," I say, getting up. "I'll go and check on Lou to see if she's okay."

"Sure," he replies, before turning towards the other three. "So what are you two talking about?"

"Oh, we were just talking about how Ria here has never been to London."

"You haven't?" Basil asks, shocked.

"Nope," Ria replies, popping the 'p'.

I start towards the rocks. I know exactly where she is, or, at least, I have an inkling she's there. I walk right towards the edge of the cliff, the loud chatter from my friends fading away until all that's left is the sound of the waves and the wind, and climb down and into the hidden cave.

"Sam," I hear her whisper.

I move towards the back of the cave, where she is sitting, pulling my legs closer to my body to make more room for movement.

"Hi. I thought you would be here," I reply, attempting to sound nonchalant.

"I didn't think you'd actually come."

"Well, I'm here now." I turn to look at her, and my heart skips a beat.

Something seems really about her today. It's not her appearance, but rather the way she's carrying herself. Her guard is down and she seems so lost and fragile, more so than usual, and so broken. It's almost like she's been pushed over the edge and left to fall.

It's almost like she's given up on life.

"Hey. Are you alright?" I ask gently, my shoulders relaxing.

I don't want to come off as intrusive or nosy. I want her to know that I genuinely do care. But that's the problem here. I don't really know how to express that I worry and care about her.

I don't know if I should.

Don't know?

Or you don't want to?

"I don't know. I don't even know anything anymore," she says softly, sounding as though she is on the verge of crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shrugs, turning to look at me, her eyes filled with sadness. "I don't know. I don't want you to be burdened because of me." She takes a shaky breath of air. "That's why I'm trying to distance myself from you. I don't want to drag you into this turmoil of chaos," she replies, gesturing to herself.

"Hey. Don't say that," I answer, letting out a tired sigh.

Should I tell her? Should I tell her what happened in my past? The reason I'm stuck in the past. The reason I can't move on.

Do you want to?

More importantly, is she worth it?

Maybe this is the moment I can actually, finally, let go of it. Maybe, if I finally talk about it to someone, I can feel better about myself. Especially since Lou doesn't know me before the incident. She knows me as the person I am today and maybe she won't look at me with those pitiful or angry eyes everyone else do.

"You don't even know me," she mutters, defeated.

"But I want to get to know you," I answer, willing myself to go on. "There's something I would like to tell you. But you have to promise not to look at me any differently." I pause. "Maybe hearing this story will make you feel better."

"Umm, o-okay," she stutters.

I take in a huge breath of air, telling myself that it will be worth it, that maybe this is what I need to let go, and launch into the tale that changed my life in ways I wish it hadn't.

*

"Hey, where do they want to go?" Lily asked, grinning from ear to ear, her eyes lit with excitement.

"You're happy today, aren't you?" I replied, laughing. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing," she answered, beaming. "Can't a girl just be happy?"

"I didn't say there's anything wrong. I'm just wondering why you're in an exceptionally good mood today. Is it a crime for your beloved boyfriend to ask you that?"

My heart still skips a beat whenever I say that.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Perhaps the reason I'm this delighted today is because I get to spend time with you. Finally. After two weeks of being grounded. During winter break, no less."

I chuckled. "Well, it is your fault for sneaking off like that," I pointed out, referencing her attempt to attend 'Miss Popular' Rachel's after midnight party.

"That is true," she answered lightheartedly, rolling her eyes.

"At least we get to spend the New Year's together in the cabin this weekend. And we did, technically, spend Christmas together."

"With our parents and more than annoying siblings!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly for added effect. "It's not the same and you know that, Sam."

"At least that's over now and we can spend everyday for the rest of the break, and year, together."

"That we can." She laughed and, in that moment, as cheesy as it sounds, it's like I've fallen in love with her all over again.

It's the little things that captivate me the most. The crinkles by her eyes when she smiled. The way she tilts her head when she laughed. The way she viewed the world with a pinch of salt but yet, able to see the best in everything. Her blue grey eyes that were always full of light and determination.

She's beautiful in a way more than eyes can see.

"You still haven't answered my question. Where do you want to go?"

I grinned. "Do you fancy going skating today? I reckon our lake is frozen by now."

She squealed in delight. "Yes! I'd love to. Walk me home so I can grab our skates?"

I nodded. "There's nothing else I'd rather do."

She started towards her house and I beside her, holding her hand gently but firmly as if holding onto my dear life, as if letting go would mean a certain goodbye, our fingers intertwined. Admittedly her house was only next to mine and it took easily less than a minute to get there from mine but, well, you got to do what you got to do.

"I'll wait out here?" I asked as she unlocked her front door.

"Yeah, sure," she answered easily, disappearing into her house.

I didn't regret it. I didn't regret making that move that night to ask her out, as terrified as I was. It was stressful more so because we were closer than ever than anything else. I didn't want to ruin what we already had between us. Cliche, I know, but it was real.

I'm glad things worked out the way it did. She made me so happy, more than words would ever be able to express.

Lily exited the house, a black and grey backpack slung across her shoulders. "Don't worry, Sam. I did not forget the skates. They're in my bag. Along with an extra set of clothes and two towels cause I'm pretty sure you didn't bring one."

"Yeah, about that," I started, chuckling sheepishly.

She grinned, chuckling herself, heading towards me. "Anyway, big shot, let's go."

She closed her hand around mine and we headed in the direction of the lake, hidden in the forest to the left of town. We quickly found the trail that led up to our usual getaway spot and followed it, trudging along the snowy path, dried twigs crunching under our feet. Neither of us felt the need to create small talk. Enjoying each other's company in silence resonated much more within us than any spoken word could.

It's these kinds of people that we should treasure.

"You're right, Sam. The lake is indeed frozen over," Lily commented chirpily as reached the clearing, pushing away the low branches and vines that shielded it from prying eyes.

The thick ice sheet glistened under the sun's rays like a rough diamond, a sense of tranquility washing over me, the evergreens nestled among the trees bare of leaves left us with a very serene landscape.

I stole a glance at my companion. It seemed like the scene before us was having same effect on Lily. Her eyes were closed, savouring the moment, an expression of absolute bliss on her face.

"If it were anyone else, you would seem very creepy, did you know that, Sam?" she commented playfully, her eyelids fluttering open.

I hadn't realised I was staring. "Well, that's the point. This isn't anyone else. It's you," I replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Her cheeks flushed. "I feel honoured."

"You should be," I said playfully, winking.

She scoffed, trying her best to hold back her laughter; I could see it in her eyes. "So this is what we have come to?"

"Well, technically, we have always been like this."

"True." She paused. "Anyway, should we stop wasting our time and have the time of our lives?"

"Sure, though I would say that 'having the time of our lives' is a slight exaggeration," I responded, chuckling. "I'll have you know that my skating skills are rather rusty. It's been a while since I've skated."

"Well, you should be. The last time we skated was this time last year. We can't exactly find a frozen lake as beautiful as ours at any other time of the year you know. It's not as fun skating on those manmade ice rinks."

"Ah, there's the Lily I know. Ever the sarcastic one."

"What can I say? I'm awesome like that."

I laughed, wrapping my arms around her waist. "And that's precisely why I love you," I said softly, pecking her lips.

"Mm," she answered, pressing her forehead against mine, gently caressing my cheek, our noses touching. "Is your love for me really that shallow?"

I pulled away, giving her a pointed look, unable to stop myself from smiling. "You know it's more than that."

"That I know." Her lips curved up into a smile, one that reached her eyes, making her look like she was glowing.

"Anyway, shall we?" I said, gesturing towards the lake. "After, of course, we put on our skates."

She sighed dramatically. "I thought you'd have figured that out by now."

She laughed, plopping her bag onto the white snow and bent down, unzipping her bag and taking out two pairs of skates, passing one to me. I took a seat next to her and started untying my shoes, placing them next to her bag and putting on my skates, Lily doing the same.

I stood up, but instantly lost my balance. Instinctively, I stuck out my arms in an attempt to stop myself from falling. Lily got up after me, perfectly balanced, as graceful as ever.

Sometimes I wondered why she gave up her dream of being a figure skater simply because she thought it wasn't the right decision. She was perfect for it.

"How did you do that?' I exclaimed, shocked but at the same time, humorously.

She smirked. "I've got more skills than you, that's why."

"Do you really?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "And I'll prove it to you. I'll go on first. After all, I used to go for classes. You can join me later, after you've watched me do my thing in awe and bathe in my majesty."

"Yes, Your Highness," I replied, bowing dramatically, playing along.

She chuckled, getting onto the ice carefully, slowly gaining momentum, skating to the centre of the lake.

"Watch," she said, winking, and started off to the left.

I sat back down on the snow, watching Lily skate in circles around the lake, more gracefully than I could remember, completely mesmerised by her beauty. "Is that all you can do?" I teased.

She laughed. "Just wait. I can double jump now."

She quit before she had the chance to learn that when she was younger.

"Wait. When have you gone skating?"

"My family went to the rink in the next town last week. Mum and Dad had some business meeting so Jas and I stayed at the rink the whole day." She paused. "Yes, I know. Atrocious right? I went to the rink," she added before I could call her out.

"Yeah, okay, Lil, whatever you say. Show me."

"What do you think I'm about to do, big shot?"

She sped up, her eyes alight with a fire I hadn't seen in years, determined not to fail. She bent her knees, ready to leap into the air.

The cracking sound of ice reached my ears and I got to my feet — or, at least, I tried to — eyes wide open in panic. "Lily! Wait!" I called out.

But it was too late.

The ice beneath her broke and she screamed, falling helplessly into the freezing water, her whole body plunging in. A moment she was there and the next, she was gone.

"No! Lily!" I shouted, hastily removing my shoes and throwing them beside me, not caring where they landed.

I scrambled to my feet, rushing to the edge of the snow bank, putting one foot on the ice and carefully place my weight on it. As much as I want to just run to her, I knew it wouldn't be any use if both of us fell through. Once certain it wasn't going to break, I hurried to the gaping hole in the ice, where Lily fell through.

"Lily. Please be alright," I muttered under my breath, my eyes searching the water frantically.

I plunged my hand into the water, pain instantly shooting up my arm. Instinctively, I pulled it away, the cold water dripping from my arm.

She's been underwater for too long. Even if she could swim or hold her breath for that long, she couldn't have survived. If drowning didn't kill her, the cold must've.

Everything happened so quickly; I could barely comprehend anything.

But that's no excuse.

My eyes watered, a tear rolled down my cheek. "Lily," I breathed, my lips quivering, both from shock and from the cold.

I could feel it. How chilly it is. And it's not just because of the weather. The cold went deeper than that. Right into my bones. Piercing straight into my heart.

It was my fault.

It was all my fault.

I was the one who suggested going skating. I was the one who teased her, who prompted her, who encouraged her, even, to skate on the lake alone. If I were on the ice with her, maybe I could've saved her.

No, she couldn't be dead. I'm sure she'll resurface at any time now.

No, it's impossible. She can't be gone.

Think rationally, Sam. You know she was. Objectively speaking, she couldn't possibly have survived under these conditions.

I could picture the exact moment she fell in, screaming at the top of her lungs in vain, her eyes wild with horror.

I was supposed to protect her, to stand by her side forever.

And I couldn't even save her.

The only thing I could do was stand on the sideline and witness her tragic death. One that she didn't deserve.

That should be me.

I should have been the one to fall, not her.

Never her.

Now, I'll have to live the rest of my life with Lily's death on my hands.

And it's all my fault.

*

"I'm s-so s-sorry to hear that," Lou whispers, as if on the verge of tears.

But crying for who?

I shake my head. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

"It was an accident, Sam. There was nothing you could do," she says gently, placing a hand on my arm in an attempt to comfort me.

"It was an accident that could've been avoided. I suggested it. It was my fault. It was completely my fault," I answer, rubbing my watery eyes, willing myself not to break down. It's unnecessary. "Do you still want to befriend me now? I'll only bring chaos wherever I go. This is living proof."

She sighs, tired. "I can't say I'm any better." She pauses. "We all have something tragic that happened to us, that shapes who we are now. I'm not any different."

"I guess we're all just a ticking time bomb. We never know what's going to happen. When we're going to be set off. When we're going to explode."

She draws a huge breath of air, eyes averting to the ground, cheeks flushed. "I like you, Sam. It's hard to admit it, and I wish it were otherwise but I really do like you. I wish I didn't because I don't want you to explode with me."

It's now or never.

"No, Lou. I don't care if I explode with you or not. It would be an honour if I could explode with you, you know, when we all eventually do. I want to do it by your side. If you will let me."

"What does this mean?" she breathes, our eyes locking.

There it is again. That connection between us. It's so strong. It's drawing me towards her. It's clear that neither of us can deny it any longer. But the question lingering between us right now is are we ready for this?

It may feel right, but we both know it isn't the right time.

I don't know what happened to her, and I'm not going to pry if she's not ready to tell — I should know better — but it's clear something equally as tragic happened to her as well. People don't turn out as broken and vulnerable and lost as this otherwise.

I told her about Lily because I felt like the time was right and it was the right thing to do. I'm not going to lie and say that I still don't love her, because I do. I still love her so much but I can't do anything about it now.

She would've wanted you to move on.

Lou and Lil: two completely different people in two completely different worlds. But there's something about both of them that makes them stand apart from the crowd. They're honest. They're raw. And that's hard to find.

In a cold and harsh world, vulnerability is the bravest we can be.

I close the gap between us, resting my forehead against hers, my heart hammering in my chest. Does she feel as nervous as I do? Does she feel it? That intensity, that spark, between us.

"Lou," I whisper. "It means whatever you want it to mean."

I press my lips against hers, closing my eyes, wrapping my arms around her. She kisses back, gently, so fragile, as if scared, terrified, even, of all this.

She pulls away first, and her cheeks tinged red.

"How was that?" I ask softly.

"Amazing," she replies under her breath, a smile tugging on her lips. "What does that mean for us?"

I shrug. "We can worry about that later," I say, taking her hand in mine. "Labels are boring and overrated. Not everything needs a label."

I close my eyes, remembering Lily.

She would want this for me.

"We have to get back," she says, hastily, trying to change the topic.

I nod in reply.

I suppose it's too much to hope that this moment would last forever.

All good things come to an end.

She crawls towards the opening and I follow suit, watching as she climbs back up. I hold her legs, pushing her up, back to the surface, back to society, though she really doesn't need it.

"You can come up now," she calls out.

"Coming."

I duck out of the cave, reaching for the rocks above. I grab onto the rocks securely, ready to hoist myself up, before I feel it, my feet losing their grip on the cave floor.

But it's too late to do anything. It all happened so fast.

All of a sudden, it's as if everything is in slow motion.

A scream escapes my lips, my arms reaching out, desperately grabbing at the air above me, as though it's going to save me from this fall.

"No! Sam!" Lou yells, getting to her knees and extending her hand towards me.

I feel her fingertips brush against mine, but I can't grab her hand. She's too far away. I see the tears streaming down her eyes, yelling hysterically at me to take her hand.

I try to tell her I can't, that it's too far — that I'm too late — but my voice doesn't work.

I'm sorry, Lou.

My eyes slowly close, feeling the wind against my being as I go down.

I'm sorry... Lily.

Her crying, distressed face is the last thing I see before everything goes black.

___

A/N: I know this was a long chapter haha. I just couldn't help it. All of this had to happen in this chapter no matter what. I really hope you understand what's been going on in Sam's head now and why he holds back so much when he's around Lou c:

Also, what do you think is going to happen to Sam? D: I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Vote, comment and share if you do!

If this reaches 10 votes before Sunday, I'll upload the next part earlier! If not, see you guys then!

Love, Angelyn