luke, in the bathroom of a club

It's my birthday. I should be out there, enjoying my night with everyone else. Instead, I'm hiding in the bathroom in the fetal position, trying to get the world to stop spinning. It really isn't working.

Birthdays should be happy. But I'm everything but happy. First of all, I'm way too drunk. Second, the music is shite. It doesn't sound good, nor does it feel good. My stomach is turning. I might be sick any second. Third of all, it's exactly one year since I met Isla and I miss her so much I could die.

Dramatic, I know.

I've tried to tell her this, but my calls won't go through. So, I might have sent her a voicemail. Or two. And a half. Who knows, I can't even remember what I did five seconds ago.

I press the call button again.

Some girl keeps texting me, asking where I am. Her name was Nia, I think. Or Nellie, maybe Naomi or Nancy. I groan at the notification, watching it disappear and wishing the girl would do the same.

I might have invited her and kissed her a little bit, so technically it's my fault that she's keen on going home together. But is it so hard to understand that no means no? Nia knows nothing about personal space. And her kisses were, like 70 per cent tongue. That's so not my thing.

The sweetest voice I know comes through my phone, like a genie in a bottle. As if I've called for her and she's appeared. Wow. "Luke, stop calling me," she says.

"Isla?" I suddenly feel very sober. The tingles in my arms and legs have gone; the bright lights are burning my eyes. I squint at the ceiling, trying to push myself to stand up. My head falls to the side, body staying in fetal position. Nope, I'm still drunk.

I have to say something. "It's me. I cheated again. And I-"

"We're not a couple. It's not cheating."

It's like she's just poured a bucket of icy water over my head. "But... But I feel guilty."

"Then stop feeling guilty."

"I can't."

"Stop calling me."

"Didn't mean to. My finger slipped. It's like destiny, meant to be."

"Happy birthday, stupid," she says, and hangs up.

-

oi waddup it's ya gal

look at me slipping into your libraries