╔.★. .═══════════════╗
❝ѕσ ƒαя,
ѕσ ƒαя вυт ѕσ ¢ℓσѕє
ℓιкє α ѕтαя,
συт ιη тнє ¢σѕмσѕ❞
╚═══════════════. .★.╝

°˖✧*.☽ .*✧˖°

➥ For Felix ✧˖°

It was sunny. Unlike every other Friday, that day was particularly blazing hot. But the heat did not stop me from wearing my favourite black tee. I was at the park about ten blocks away from home, because away was where I wished to be. My eighth birthday had just passed but the skateboard my step sister gifted me was already beaten. That was how much I loved it. It helped me get away from home.

I remember that Friday all too well. Not only for the scorching sun's heat. It was when I first met you. Skating along the pavement, my black baseball cap obstructed my vision, though I didn't pay mind. I crashed right into you.

Your petite frame fell to the ground; you landed on your butt. Rather than at me, your gaze was directed towards the side, lips quivering downwards as you watched the ice cream that you dropped melt into a mess on the grass.

When I called out to you, you lifted your head and our eyes locked. Your freckled cheeks were rosy, beads of tears rolling down. I offered my hand and helped you up. Only then did I observe the way your large, bright blue hoodie almost reached your knees. You were small. I did not know what to do, watching you whimper with tiny sobs escaping. I grabbed you forward and enveloped you in my arms, something I had never done to anybody. I hoped it would calm you down. With one hand, I combed through your fluffy hair dyed bubblegum pink. A colour so soft, a colour I had always despised. The way you were dressed, the way you looked, the innocence in your pretty chestnut eyes, the daintiness in your impossibly pure smile: everything made me realize one thing.

You and I were polar opposites.

°˖✧*.☽ .*✧˖°

Strawberry.

That was what I named you. That was all my childish brain could come up with, because your soft pink hair reminded me of all the soft things that I was not fond of. I had always hated anything bright, yet something about you drew me in. You were blinding. Blindingly different from all that I had left in life.

We met for a few more days after that. Tuesday evening. You had asked your sister to let you stay with me longer. From where we sat, the park extended outwards into a field littered with wild flowers, with an uninterrupted view of the dusk sky. We chose to sit there because you said you loved the little flowers.

I watched you pick a single green strand from the grass between your crossed legs, since that was all your tiny hand was capable of grabbing.

Only a few days, but both of us had lost count of how many times I called you cute. I couldn't help it. I had never been so close to something so pure, and adorable, it intrigued the young me.

On this Tuesday I told you I liked your hair colour. I told you I liked your squeaky voice, how the high pitched tone suited your adorable demeanour. And on this Tuesday, we made our first promise.

"We'll be friends for as long as forever can be."

It was a promise I had later destroyed.

°˖✧*.☽ .*✧˖°

Fast forward two whole years. We always met at the same park, although somewhere along the line my skateboard ended up breaking. Yet I chose to walk my way everyday just to see you. 

You were nine and I was ten.

A cold winter day. I couldn't go to meet you. I was locked in the bathroom. It was my punishment, because I had walked into the living room at the wrong moment, just in time to watch my sister leave.

She never came back.

Against my will, I stood frozen and watched the sharp metal of the knife glisten viciously before it was shoved into her throat. It made her choke blood. Blood. The fresh red of horror splattered everywhere, across the carpet and all over her favourite yellow dress. She was out cold in a heartbeat. When I stumbled forward and dropped onto my knees, held her lifeless hand in mine, it didn't matter to me that my grey sweater was stained red.

But before mum could come home, I was locked away in the bathroom for 'being bad'. For watching it happen. Dad's words ripped my heart and held me down.

"It was for your own good. Because your step sister was taking you away from me. It was because of you, Changbin."

It was because of me.

That day, I cried. I wailed my heart out, curled up against myself on the icy tiles. The light gradually dimmed, signaling the sinking of the sun, just like my heart had sunken into a sea of pain. And through the gut-wrenching hurt, I still wished to see you.

I lied awake and watched darkness consumed the skies. I shut my eyes and drowned into unconsciousness. When I opened my eyes again, blinding rays of sunlight shone through the window. The window that I snuck out through.

I snuck out to go meet you. Something in my heart fell at ease when I spotted you from afar, seated on the wooden bench with your legs swinging back and forth. You were waiting for me. You were worried and overcome with panic. You squeezed the air out of me in a tight hug. And I wished you wouldn't let go.

Then you saw the dried blood stains.

You were afraid I had injured myself. With your little hands, you cupped my face and asked me if I was okay, your innocent eyes sparkling with worry, and your voice sweet and gentle.

"It's just red paint that I spilt by accident."

That was the first time I lied to you.

°˖✧*.☽ .*✧˖°

Monday. I waited for you since dawn fell upon the day. I had lost count of the hours. I was afraid.

Afraid we would never meet again.

The sun was still large and red, setting the clouds around it ablaze. The fiery red diffused to ribbons of indigo and I realized that evening was nearing.

The distant sound of your footsteps snapped me out of my daze. From the dusk sky, I shifted my gaze to you, you who wore the prettiest smile, a smile so healing, it made everything seem okay.

We walked around the greenery, our hands interlaced and your smile never leaving. You told me you were getting your hair dyed that day. To strawberry pink again, because the roots were growing out and you wanted to keep the colour that I liked. You wanted to do it for me. Because as you never stopped telling me, I had always been your only one.

We picked a hand full of wildflowers. You sat patiently while I tucked them into your hair. You were pretty.

And that was the last time we met.

°˖✧*.☽ .*✧˖°

a;n see u soon babes