Chapter Eight (Adrian’s POV)

Unintended Consequence

Part 2

Adrian couldn’t believe it. How and why did he let this happen?

Was he really falling for Murphy?

He hadn’t even known her for long. He never even saw her.

What’s wrong with you, you big moron?

Suddenly, it all made sense. Even the reason why he chose to sleep with Diane the night he was supposed to meet Sophie. He should’ve realized it sooner.

He was in some deep trouble.

He didn’t want this to happen. Ever.

“Hey, Adrian! The hell are you doing out here?” He heard Marshall yell as he came closer to him. “You’re missing one hell of a party!”

Marshall put his arm around Adrian’s shoulders and almost dragged him inside, Adrian only smiled weakly at his friend’s gesture, still shocked and kind of numb by his own self-realization.

“What’s with the face?” Marshall asked. “Looking at you, one would never believe that you just won a major game and are now in a party full of hot girls and cool friends.”

Adrian shrugged, looking distracted and zoned out. “It’s nothing, I’m just… tired, I guess.”

“Dude, we’ve gotta bring you back. Don’t worry, your friend Marshall is here to help!” Then he laughed. “Along with some booze and a whole lot of female action.”

Adrian was not listening though, his mind was racing, his heart was on fire.

Yeah, he was in some deep trouble.

A couple of hours later and Adrian still found himself in a weird zombie state. He tried to have fun, tried to enjoy the party and the company, tried to forget about Sophie, but he was finding it very hard to do. No matter what he did, Sophie would always find her way back into his mind. The fact that she kept calling him, sending him messages and even voice mails didn’t help either. There was nothing Adrian wanted more than to pick up the phone and talk to her, listen to her voice, know what she was doing and with who she was. On the other hand, he wanted to just forget, create distance. He wanted to talk to her as much as he didn’t. It was pretty messed up. But since he had finally understood that he was falling for her, he really couldn’t face her. He didn’t want to need her. But he did. Damn.

Every time his cellphone rang and he ignored it, the thought of her sadness at his rejection hurt him. He had to summon all his will power not to pick up the phone. No matter how much he wanted to.

Goddamn, he hated feeling like that.

Adrian smiled without any genuine amusement and tried to get distracted by the party surrounding him, but it was being mighty difficult. When Sophie finally gave up calling, he felt a mixture of relief, regret and pain. Had she given up on him? Was she hurt?

It was almost night time when it finally got to be too much. Chad had noticed something was wrong and, though he never said anything, he could feel his black haired friend eyeing him with caution and concern. Feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation and cursing his lack of ability to just relax – like he usually did with such ease – feeling like a foreign to himself and dying to know something about Sophie, Adrian looked for an empty room in Jackson’s house.

He took out his cellphone and pressed Sophie’s phone number. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t press the green button. Instead, he looked for another phone number, the number of the person who could tell him what was going on with absolute certainty. Adrian called Charlotte.

The red haired picked up the phone with a sigh. “Hello, Adrian.”

“Charlotte…” He hesitated first, not sure of what to say. “Do you know-“

“I’ve heard of what happened, yes,” was her blunt, cold reply, as usual. Though he could swear he heard a note of compassion in her voice.

“How… How is she?”

Charlotte sighed again, before answering, “She’s heartbroken and sad. Confused, mostly.” There was a short silence, during which Adrian felt strangely sick and agonized. “That was a stupid fight you two had.” Just leave it to Charlotte to make him feel more of an asshole. “Why won’t you take her calls?”

Adrian was pretty much regretting calling her at this point. “I just… I don’t… I don’t want to, that’s all.” He realized that his attempt to sound nonchalant about it was a complete fail.

“You don’t want to face her,” she corrected him. “What’s going on? You’re supposed to be braver than this.”

“I’m just freaking out right now, ok?” He was more than ready to let all his frustrations go on Charlotte if she kept pushing. “There are things going on that were never supposed to happen and I just need to get away from it all.”

“But you’re calling me.”

Another short silence.

“Yeah, so?”

“So, you’re not ready to let go.”

“I will be.”

“You’re both idiots.”

He took a deep breath. “Whatever, Red.” He massaged his hair and tried to relax. “She’ll be okay. Right?”

“I don’t know.”

Geez, so much for comforting. “I mean, she can’t be that bad.”

“No, she’s pretty bad.” Charlotte sighed again. “Like you. The difference is, you got it already, but are acting like a messed up moron. She’s clueless, as always, and is acting like a perfect idiot.”

“What do you mean? What did she do?”

He waited anxiously for Charlotte’s reply. It never came, though. Finally, it hit him.

“It’s got nothing to do with Mark, right?”

Charlotte’s silence was like poison. He began feeling sick again.

“What did he tell her? What’s going on?”

“They’re going out tonight.”

More silence, only this time, it was a long pause as Adrian tried to make sense of the words. He knew they were speaking again, but going out again? He wasn’t expecting that. He felt like someone had sucker-punched him. Hard.

“Going out? As in… a date?”

“Yes.”

“What the fuck, is she completely out of her mind?”

“Well…”

“Why aren’t you stopping her?” He had to channel his anger towards someone.

“It’s not really my place to do so.”

He took his cellphone away from his ear and almost punched the wall. Adrian took a deep breath and tried, once again, to calm down. What he was feeling was alien to him. It was awful.

“She can’t go out with Mark! It’s… incredibly stupid, it’s fucking ridiculous!” he furiously told the red-haired.

“I think so, too.”

“Then do something about it!”

“You’re the one who could, and should, do something about it.”

Adrian chuckled, he was pacing the room with a wild animal’s ferocity. “You know what? No, I shouldn’t do anything. It’s none of my business. Sophie can do whatever the hell she wants. She knows where she’s getting herself into. If she’s such a sucker for torture, then let her be. Whatever. I don’t care anymore.”

“You do-“

“I won’t, anymore.”

“Alright then.” She sighed. “You’ve both made your choices, now just live with them.”

He took a deep breath and massaged his eyes. Murphy, his Murphy… going out with Mark. On a freaking date with him! What an idiot!

“Charlotte, please, just… do something. Talk to her, get some sense into her just… Don’t let her go.” He realized he was almost pleading and he hated how pathetic it made him feel.

“There’s nothing I can do, Adrian, she’s determined to prove something to herself. Or to you. I think we should just let her figure it out by herself.”

“Wow.” He was at a loss for words. “Wow. Thank you. Really.”

“Don’t try to make me the bad guy here, Adrian. You’re the one who should step up.”

He almost laughed with bitterness. “You know, I’m not really the kind of guy for this kind of thing. If she wants to be miserable, she’s my guest. I’ve done my part and now it’s time I officially stop giving a damn. I’m just going to let it go.”

“If you really think that’s the best-“

“Yeah, I do.”

A couple of hours passed and the party was reaching epic levels. Everybody was enjoying the moment – except for Adrian. He couldn’t shake the image of Murphy together with another dude out of his mind and it was making him sick and driving him insane. It was seriously throwing him out of his game. Girls were basically throwing themselves at him and he couldn’t take advantage of it because of his stupid obsession with some stupid girl he hadn’t even seen.

Fucking hell. What had he become?

Marshall and Chad weren’t helping. While Marshall kept going all bipolar on him – one minute smiling and goofing off and shoving girls (“accidentally”, of course) to him, the next eyeing him with weird disappointment and grief, like Adrian was the carrier of some sort of terminal illness – Chad kept ridiculously winking and grinning all-knowing and annoying like, as if he was the guardian to some amusing secret or private joke about him.

Yeah, big help you guys.

Chad finally approached him and patted him on the shoulder, still wearing that incredibly annoying expression. “Welcome aboard the love boat, my friend. It was about time.” Adrian was pretty sure Chad had to be drunk. At least he seriously hoped so. His friend’s speech was so lame and embarrassing, he couldn’t even muster up the decency to interrupt him. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better. Eventually.”

Alright, that did it.

Adrian grabbed Chad’s glass, drank whatever liquid was inside, all in one big sip, and walked towards the one person who could snap him out of his ridiculous state.

Diane.

If her awesome hotness couldn’t shake his mind off of Sophie, nothing could. That would mean he was in some deep shit, by the way. He refused to be that guy, though.

He walked towards her, feeling slightly dizzy, not sure if it was because of the contents in Chad’s glass, or because of her amazing long legs and her beautiful, penetrating eyes. He took a deep breath, infiltrated her small group of friends without difficulty and shamelessly stood in front of her, closer than necessary and ignoring the other girls’ giggles. Diane looked surprised for only a few seconds. Quickly, she shook it off and smiled wide at him. “Hey, Adrian. What’s up?” He didn’t answer, though. Instead, he kissed her with passion and desire. Again, he could feel her surprise, but it wasn’t long before she responded to his kiss with the same amount of lust and enthusiasm.

Adrian abruptly pulled away and no words were said, Diane just smiled in the most adorable, almost shy, way. He grabbed her hand, forgetting to return the smile, and led her upstairs, planning to take her to a private place, promptly ignoring Marshall’s - “Hell yeah, my boy is back!” - and Chad’s disappointed stare as he shook his head.

As soon as they got to an empty room, Adrian passionately kissed her again, letting her know exactly how much he needed her. She moaned in response, showing him she wanted him as much, as he closed the door behind them. This time, Diane broke the long kiss, breathing heavily against his lips.

“I was afraid you had lost interest.”

“What?”

“You’ve been acting strange, lately. Like, you’re here…” And then she rested her hand against his chest. “but you’re not, really.” Then, looking him in the eyes, she smiled sweetly. “I kind of missed you.”

Adrian wasn’t ready for that, at all, and frankly, that was the last thing he wanted to hear or think about. In fact, it was kind of the opposite of what he was going for. So, he just pressed his lips against hers once again and tried to forget everything. He only wanted to focus on their actions, only the feel of Diane’s hot body against his mattered.

The blonde girl reached for the inside of his shirt and he reveled in the feel of her gentle hands against his hard chest.

He wondered if Sophie’s lips tasted this delicious. Were her hands this warm and gentle? Did her touch feel this good? Would her body feel this hot and soft against him?

What the fuck, man!

What was he doing, thinking about her at a moment like this? This moment had the potential to be awesome, to turn him into Adrian again and he was ruining it by thinking about her, the very subject he was trying to forget. He felt angry. Angry at Sophie, but mainly, angry at himself.

He pushed Diane against the door, almost aggressively, and desperately kissed her harder. His hands travelled through her toned body to her perfect butt and he quickly and swiftly pulled her up as her long legs surrounded his waist. The girl moaned and whispered his name as he kissed her neck. But it felt wrong. It didn’t give him the same pleasure and longing it should have. With a stab, he realized – it was her voice.

It was the wrong voice calling for him. The voice he longed for, the one he wanted to hear whispering to him wasn’t Diane’s.

Murphy… His Murphy.

Where was she? What was she doing? Was she embracing someone else too? Was she kissing Mark? Was she calling someone else’s name?

Adrian let go of Diane as quickly as he could without letting her fall to the ground.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, concern building in her voice, her eyes expressing small hurt as she composed herself, almost with embarrassment.

Yeah, it was. Something was very wrong with him. He turned his back to her, hands on his hair, trying to shake off the sudden feeling of nausea that invaded him. He wasn’t angry anymore. The thought of Sophie in someone else’s arms… It wasn’t anger. It was sickness, agony, pain. It was ridiculous.

“Adrian, what’s wrong?” Diane gently rested her hand on his back, but he shook it off. He turned to her, avoiding her eyes, and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Di. I… I’ll see you later.” And then he fled. He got out of the room as fast as he could without running, leaving a very confused Diane behind, and he got out of the house equally fast, ignoring Chad’s drunken calling of him. It was too embarrassing, too pathetic. It was torture.

What the hell was she doing to him?

He took a deep breath, welcoming the cool air and the quietness of the outside and decided to start a long walk home. It would, hopefully, clear his mind. Except it didn’t. He caught himself holding his cellphone, his only connection to her. He had to do something, he had to talk to her, he had to know what was happening in her stupid ass date with stupid ass Mark. She had to know. He had to stop it.

He considered calling her, but that idea quickly vanished – he wouldn’t stoop that low. He was not that pathetic. So instead, he decided to send her a message. Less pathetic, right? He typed almost subconsciously, just saying whatever popped into his mind, barely filtering it. Once he was finished, the message was a clusterfuck of things like – Don’t go back to him. You don’t need him, you have me. Please, don’t go back to him. Get away from him. I can’t bear the thought of you with someone else. You’re driving me crazy. I think you’re beautiful, even if I never saw you. I can’t take you out of my mind. You’re driving me crazy.

Pathetic, ridiculous, embarrassing! What the hell? Who was he? He was not the kind of dude who would say any of that. What was he thinking? There was no way in hell he was sending that message. He immediately erased it, feeling disgusted with himself. Adrian took another deep breath and tried to erase all the frustration he was feeling. He had never felt this way before. Wasn’t this supposed to be some kind of awesome experience? Why did it feel so horrible?

He felt angry and bitter again. Sophie would not do this to him, she would not make him weak. So, he decided to send her a very different message – Hope you’re wearing something green. Have fun. Bye.

His first lie to her.

Much better. Definitely.

Adrian walked home with a new stride to his steps. He was determined to forget her, at least in that way. She would torment him no more. She was just a voice, anyway. He could very damn well live without her.

Forget her.

Once he finally got home, the first thing he heard did not lift his spirits. Kevin should already be in bed and, hopefully, sound asleep. Adrian wished his little brother did not have to listen to this. His mother was crying in her room. Again.

Fighting the urge to go and tell her to get a freaking grip, he instead dragged himself to his bedroom, lied on his bed, put his earphones on and muffled her cries with loud music. He stared to his ceiling, contemplating how lame he had suddenly become.

It was all her fault.

He sighed, she was probably hanging out with Mark now, completely oblivious to how she made him feel, probably too enthralled in her jackass of an ex to even bother to remember him.

Goddamn, this was sad.

He refused to think about her one more second. He refused to dwell on this. He would forget about her. He would not let himself become as miserable, pathetic and weak as Andrea was.

Her voice… She meant nothing. She was just a voice. A friend, at the most.

But she was Murphy. His Murphy.

So much more than a voice.

He had to stop thinking about her. He had to stop wishing he could just grab the freaking phone and call her, he had to stop wishing she would call him.

Frustrated and determined to erase her from his mind, Adrian closed his eyes and did his very best to fall asleep.

What the hell was she doing to him?

Author's Notes - Here it is, the second part of this ridiculously giant of a chapter, eheh. The next one is on the making, I hope to update it soon. But I won't make any promises, because as you probably noticed, I suck at keeping them. I'm so sorry. I try to be a better panda, I just can't.

Anyway, to those (few) of you who read A Cure For The Blind, I am trying to finish Adrian's chapters as quick as possible so that I can return to it ;) I am excited to go back to it! Uhuhuh.

Thank you all SO much, for everything :D You know what I'm talking about, my little bunnies of awesome. I love you. I hope you enjoy this, eheheh. As usual, talk to me, sweeties!