Esté and Tony had joined the rest of the Avengers back at the Stark Tower, all of them choosing to unwind together that evening with several boxes of huge pizzas, conversation and music.

Despite being invited to the afterparty for her show, Estélla didn't have to think about declining the offer that night. She didn't have the energy to keep up appearances for much longer after the toll of the day anyway, let alone now Tony was back at home, and so she ditched her Jean Paul Gaultier dress for comfortable sweatpants and a fluffy blanket on Tony's couch.

It was around midnight when everybody decided to turn in for the evening, some of the team heading to spare rooms on different floors of the tower while Alicia and Katy headed back home with Steve and Bucky. Esté had longed for the privacy and quiet of her own home since crawling out of her bed that morning, but it didn't matter to her where she slept that night so long as Tony was next to her.

After saying goodnight, the couple were finally alone once they reached Tony's floor, heading towards the bedroom in a comfortable silence in the low lights that illuminated artwork hung on the hallway walls.

Esté brushed her teeth and changed into one of Tony's t-shirts and was about to slip beneath the cool silk covers she'd missed, only stopped in the doorway to the bedroom, a frown on her face.

She watched as Tony pulled off his clothes, stretching his arms above his head in just a pair of white boxer shorts. His skin was covered in cuts and bruises, stitches holding together fresh wounds and grazes and scars pulsed red across what seemed like every inch of him.

Esté had gotten used to seeing Tony with a couple of cuts and a black eye here and there, but the sight of his wounds sent a shiver down her spine and pulled a lump into her throat, the thoughts about what kind of hell he'd been through making her almost start to cry.

"What?" Tony said once he noticed her staring from across the room, "I thought you once said the bruises were hot."

She managed a small laugh then but it quickly faded. Esté padded across the floor towards him, eyes tracing his body as a gentle hand reached out to touch the stitched wound running across his chest above the arc reactor.

"Not this many," she whispered with a shake of her head, "I don't like it, I hate to think about what happened to you. You being hurt, i-it hurts me, too."

Tony could see the concern on her face and in the way she was hesitant to touch him, her fingertips scarcely grazing his skin across every bruise and cut. He knew exactly what she meant, since seeing the way she looked so much thinner and lifeless than when he'd left had made his heart bleed too, the burden of their pain always being shared.

"Hey," he took her face into his hands, tilting up her chin to meet his eyes, "I'm fine. You should see the other guy."

Esté scoffed and laughed again, smiling at the way Tony's humour masked such darkness. She didn't pry or ask any questions, knowing by that point that if Tony ever wanted to talk, he would.

They fell asleep within minutes of their heads hitting the pillows, exhaustion wiping them out and the comfort of having their other half beside them eased them both into a peaceful slumber, anything that had worried them for the last two months now holding no weight.

Esté could hardly remember what it was like to sleep alone as soon as she got into bed with Tony again. Feeling his presence beside her and hearing him breathe, the heat from his body and the warmth of his hands brushing against her skin as they slept made it seem like he'd never even been away at all.

Only, that wasn't the case.

A bright yellow light made Esté wince in the darkness, the harsh glow burning through her closed eyelids and forcing her to shield her face with the palm of her hand. She stirred in the blackness of the night, being snapped out of a deep sleep and only then hearing Tony's whimpering beside her, feeling him twitch as he mumbled something beneath his breath, his eyes still closed with one hand beneath the pillow.

Estélla peeled her eyes open slowly, placing a comforting hand on Tony's arm to soothe his jitters before she looked over her shoulder, instantly jumping back and cowering against the headboard with the covers pulled up against her chest, eyes wide in panic.

"What the fuck!"

Tony jolted awake then after hearing Esté curse loudly beside him. He instantly jumped from the bed when he saw one of his suits hovering beside the bed, huge and ominously red and gold with a palm raised straight at her quivering body.

With a slice of his arm, Tony sent the suit clattering to pieces on the floor, the room suddenly plunging into darkness and silence besides the shaking breaths coming from Esté's lips and her quick falling chest.

Tony didn't know what to say. He stayed stood next to the bed, frozen to the spot with guilt rushing to his head and anxiety flooding his lungs, feeling sick at the sight of his terrified girlfriend.

Terrified might have been an understatement. Estélla had seen Tony's suits before, but never had she been woken up with a repulser aimed at her chest with the knowledge that Tony was most definitely not inside the armour. The shock had stunned her to her core, pinning her eyes open wide and making her hands shake as they clutched the bedsheets, staring horrified at the dismantled parts scattered on the floor.

"W-was that thing going to kill me?"

Still, Tony didn't know what to say. The truth was, it probably was going to kill her, but he wasn't sure that he could tell her that. He couldn't remember what exactly he was having a nightmare about before he woke up, but the feats of his latest mission had undoubtedly taken a toll on his mind, and had now spilled out into his reality.

"I must've called it in my sleep, I-I'm so sorry, I..."

Esté stared at Tony who stood with watery eyes and a defeated posture, shoulders turned inwards and arms hanging limply at his sides, helplessness scrawled across his face with guilt and regret clear in his furrowed brows and the small shake of his head.

She was scared, terrified at what had just happened to her and for the first time, Esté felt unsafe in Tony's presence, which only made the feeling worse. Though as she continued to look at him through the darkness, Esté could see that Tony was scared too.

He was visibly shaking and his bottom lip was unstable, short, shallow breaths passed from his lips and he kept swallowing repeatedly in attempt to hold back the rising lump in his throat and the stinging behind his eyes. Esté hadn't seen Tony look afraid many times in his life, but the emotion was undeniable right then, and the sight made her sick.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, breaking the silence, "Please...please don't go."

It took less than three seconds for Estélla to swallow her fear and shuffle across the bed, resting on her knees and looking down at Tony who stood four inches below her on the floor. She tilted her head, sighing quietly and holding out her arms.

"Come here, it's okay."

Tony walked straight into her arms, falling against her with his head buried into her chest and his hands holding her hips, eyes squeezed shut while a few tear drops managed to escape from the ends of his lashes and roll down his cheeks.

Esté soothed him with her fingers running through his hair, lightly tickling the back of his neck and across his shoulders while she pressed kisses over and over again to his head, her heart breaking at the sound of him trying to hold back his cries.

Tony moved his hands from her hips and secured his arms around her body, hugging her tightly and desperately as he tried to pull in a full breath, the weight in his chest making it feel almost impossible if it hadn't been for her lips on his forehead or her hands on his skin.

"I'm so sorry," he said again, tears seeping through the t-shirt she'd been sleeping in.

"No," Esté shook her head and continued to hold him against her, "You don't have to apologise, Tony. You're safe now, it's okay."

He looked up at her then, finding a small ounce of relief in the fact that she hadn't walked out on him after the incident with his suit, that she stayed by his side when he needed her to.

"I guess when I told you I was fine earlier on I might've lied," he cleared his throat, leaving the tears on his face instead of wiping them away, "When you've seen the things I have, lived through the things I've lived through...th-the memories don't go away. They're there when I'm awake and they're there when I close my eyes and now they're hurting you and, fuck."

He crumbled against her chest again and although the sound of his sobs pulled tears into Esté's blue eyes too, she refused to let them fall. Tony had been there to dry her tears too many times for her to count and that time, he needed her to do the same thing. One of them had to be strong and that night, it was Esté's turn to hold him up.

"It's going to be alright," Esté whispered, dragging her nails through his hair, "I'm not going anywhere, you're never on your own with anything. We'll work this out, we'll get you better."

"It's dark in there," Tony mumbled, narrowing his eyes in pain as he shook his head, "It's so dark and it scares me sometimes."

"I know, Tony, I know."

Estélla had never seen Tony quite as vulnerable as he was right then. He was open and honest about things that he'd always kept to himself, his thoughts and his mind always being two topics that remained off-limits to anybody that wasn't himself. Esté always wondered how he could carry such a heavy burden, but he'd clearly reached breaking point that night.

He was terrified to fall and terrified to fall alone, too, but there was never any doubt in Esté's mind that she'd ever let that happen. Lovers or not, Tony had been her best friend for as long as she'd been breathing, and there was never an outcome where she'd even think to abandon him.

"I need you," he whispered weakly, looking up at her with red eyes and an unstable frown that broke her heart.

His big brown eyes reminded her of the little boy she once knew, the one who would cry over a grazed knee and sob if he lost his favourite soccer ball by kicking it too far. Esté had seen tears in his eyes many times and although that night was different, it reminded her that inside of them both still lived the little children that loved each other to no end.

"You have me," she said, holding his face in her hands and kissing his forehead, "I'm right here, and I'm yours, Tony."