"Pallavi rona band karo pehle toh... yes, stop crying. You look very ugly when you cry.."

Pallavi wiped her eyes, glaring at him from under those generously spiky wet lashes and he felt a massive pang in his chest. 

"Just tell me one thing, okay.. take a deep breath and forget about everyone and everything and tell me one simple thing."

She looked at him, her reddened gaze shuddering painfully and he steeled his body automatically for a gigantic impact. 

"Do you love him? Just say yes or no."

There was an ominous silence and he spied her entire slender frame getting arrested, freezing. She was looking at him like a deer caught in headlights, a rabbit caught in a night forest. 

"Yes."

Though he had braced for it, the sudden blood curdling agony which gutted him made his nerve endings ache in sheer despair. He had felt like someone had kicked him off the top of a skyscraper and he had landed face first, to become a bloody pancake on the pavement below. 

But Raghav Rao was nothing if not a master of maintaining composure when the situation calls for it. And right now, the situation cruelly demanded of him much more than he thought a normal human being should be capable of giving. 

But to his credit, none of that expressed on his chiselled face. The clock had struck one and the midnight breeze caressed his raven hair and her porcelain skin gently. 

"Toh bass. That's it. That is all that matters."

"What are you saying Raghav... I can't just.. I promised you... I promised that I won't leave.. I will never leave.. no matter what. Even if its my dead ex husband coming back to life all of a bloody second. I... do not give my word lightly.. I never have.."

Raghav sighed and kept the break in it repressed with a herculean effort. 

"Pallavi... the world is not going to label you as a promise breaker or fickle if you chose love over duty. In fact let the world say what it wants... you should always chose love over duty because... because your only duty should be towards your love."

"But Raghav.."

"Na.. let me speak. You told me once that I am your best friend. Didn't you? Or was that a lie?"

"Raghav! No! Don't be like that.. of course you are... you are my best friend. The one who has taught me so much.."

He smiled at her ruefully and saw her expression softening in the night lamp glowing softly in the dark of their bedroom. 

"So you say but you forgot the most essential thing I had endeavoured for you to learn. Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't. Plant yourself like a tree and refuse to move, tell the other person.. even if its the entire world against you... to move instead."

Pallavi's hands trembled lightly in his warm but loose hold and she took a shaky breath in, looking down towards their entwined palms. His blood had begun freezing from kneeling on the ice marble flooring for too long. 

"But will it be the fair thing to do? Will it be fair....to you?"

She asked tremulously, sounding like a frightened child and he realised that in some ways she still is that in her heart... an innocent child who has been hurt one times too many by the world. He cracked a genuine smile, hoping that the shadows had been able to hide the lingering ache in his charcoal eyes....passably. 

"Oh my darling... if you love, everything is fair."

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"What is happening down there.. why are all three of you huddled together like a bunch of thieves set out to plan for a burglary?"

Raghav asked suspiciously as he strutted down the long winding staircase into the hall of the Rao Mansion and saw his mother, sister and secretary almost jump apart in shock. 

Life had become a colourless palette after Pallavi. 

Days had turned to weeks and weeks had turned to a month by now and Raghav felt like he was stuck in some endless nightmarish loop. 

Living in a fever dream. 

"Hum.. nhi toh.. nhi.. kuch nhi.. bass.. yuhi... woh bohot din Pallavi se nhi milein toh soch rahe the usse mille jaake.. hain na Amma..? Bolo na? Farhad tum bolo.. chup kyun khade ho.."

Raghav narrowed his eyes at the trio in front while Jaya, Keerti and Farhad fidgeted nervously. It was almost impossible to hide something from Raghav. He had an uncanny habit of catching onto their elaborate schemes of various shenanigans always. The former crossed his arms against his chest and raised a single eyebrow at his secretary knowing very well that it would take a glare from him for Farhad to spill his guts out. 

"Anna.. main bass... main bhi soch raha tha kaise Bhabi ko vapas..shi--"

Keerti and Jaya slapped their heads in exasperation as Farhad bit his tongue embarrassed beyond belief. He hadn't meant for the truth to slip out like that. Raghav groaned and rubbed his face tiredly once and then twice, as if struggling to hold in his anger. 

"How many times do I have to tell you guys to leave her the hell alone! Why don't anyone of you understand?"

He almost yelled and saw them flinch and regretted his tone immediately. He had been trying so hard to behave normal that he knew every action he undertook, every reaction he gave had become painfully plastic. 

"I am sorry.... just. Please... Pallavi ko chod do akela.. jeene do uss bechari ko.. kyun iss daldal mein usse ghaseet ke wapas lana chahta hain tum log."

Jaya looked stricken at his words. 

"Tum aisa kyun bol raha hain Raghav? Wasn't she happy here?"

Raghav sat down on the couch and closed his eyes resting his head against the headboard, feeling the ever present exhaustion which he had come to understand was the result of a broken heart, acutely. 

"No Amma.. she wasn't. See, Pallavi has always attached her happiness with that of other people. She would console herself seeing everyone else happy. That is what happened with the Deshmukhs and that is what was happening here with us."

"Par Anna...we love her too. You.. you.. don't you love her? How are you planning to live all your life without her?"

Keerti asked dejectedly. 

Raghav smiled faintly and looked at the opposite wall unseeingly as if mentally transporting back to a happier time. 

"What I felt or feel is immaterial. I had always used her for my benefit. I married her forcefully for fulfilling my desires, then I emotionally manipulated her to stay back so I could alleviate my guilt, I tried so hard to rectify my mistakes.. I complained that she wouldn't make me her priority and then when time came, I prioritized you over her. And she forgave me... repeatedly.. overlooked all my transgressions to focus on my almost non existent virtues. She was compromising her happiness for my benefit.. again. And I couldn't let that happen. And anyways, what have I to complain? I had always prayed for her happiness and if her happiness lies with that bina address ka envelope then so be it. "

Jaya, Keerti and Farhad were in tears at this point, resonating with the sheer pulsating pain in Raghav's voice. 

"Pa..thar ka dil hain kya aapka Anna? Dard nhi hota, taqleef... nhi hoti?"

Farhad managed to utter through his clogged throat and Raghav laughed hoarsely. He stood up gingerly and spread his arms dramatically, blotting the tears which had treacherously collected in his eyes.

"Arre tum log iss wajah se muh latkake beitha hain? Pagal hain kya? Main Raghav Rao hain.. mera dard ke saath dosti hain. Hamara long standing contract hain, woh mere saath life bhar rahega aur main usko chup chaap aache dost ki tarah tolerate karega. Arthamaiynda?"

"Chup kar! Nautanki dramebaaz!"

Jaya Rao slapped her son's bicep even as tears streamed down her eyes while Keerti and Farhad chuckled through their own tears at Raghav's lame attempt to crack a joke. Raghav hugged his mother tightly and opened one arm for his two siblings who practically ran into his embrace.

The three clutched Raghav tightly, as if trying to soak in his agony so that they could share his suffering a little. 

Raghav closed his eyes and let a few tears roll down finally, now that Jaya and Keerti and Farhad's faces were buried inside him and they couldn't see his mask cracking. 

Thank you Venkateshwara for letting me play a little part which has brought my Pallavi her happiness and thank you Pallavi for being my sunshine for a little time as it was. You have given me more happiness in a month than anyone ever has in my whole life. And that is enough for me to live out the rest of my days. You may have only considered me your friend. 

But I will always love you, Pallavi Deshmukh. 

From a distance be it. 

In silence be it. 

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*author ducking to take cover from the flying joota and chappals*