For the past five days I've managed to avoid eye contact with anyone. I'm pretty proud of that. Although I'm not sure if Josh is. He's getting more frustrated with me the longer I refuse to look at him. I can't blame him, though. If I was in his position I'd be annoyed as well. Josh isn't the only one who I'm driving crazy. Dad is away from home more than he is at home. He used to be at the front door to welcome me home from school and now he's gone until I'm going to bed.

To say I'm frustrated with him too would be an understatement. Which is why I need to talk to him. I'm not sure when, but it needs to be done.

I run a brush through my hair again before heading into the kitchen to find something to eat. I grab a random cereal, getting out a bowl, a spoon, and the milk. I eat breakfast in silence, checking the time every once in a while to make sure I'm not going to be late.

Just as I place my bowl in the dishwasher, the door bell rings. I walk to the door and pull it open, revealing Josh on the other side. I grin at him - well, at his chin - and he returns the smile, even though it seems a bit fake.

"Ready to go?" Josh asks, sticking his hands in his pockets.

I nod, grabbing my bag from the hook and following him out to his car. He opens the passenger door for me and I slide in wordlessly. Josh sighs, closing my door and coming around and getting in. He turns the key, starting the car before driving off to school.

"Mia, I know you're doing this for yourself, but it's killing me here."

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you die again. Nor do I want to deal with the pain that comes from trying to push it off."

"You know," he says, glancing over at me. "It'll only get worse if you don't work on it. I understand where you're coming from, I really do, but you're only hurting yourself more."

I sigh, looking out the window at the houses as we fly by. Sure, he says that he understands, but it's nearly impossible for him to. He doesn't have to deal with the pain - physically and emotionally.

"Just remember that."

"Huh?" I ask, looking over at him, barely catching myself before we make eye contact.

Josh chuckles, "Remember that the more time that passes without you practicing is only going to hurt yourself in the future. And I for one don't want that to happen."

"Why? So then you won't have to deal with me?" I'll admit that my words could be nicer and I should just agree with him, but I'm in a bad mood and every single word he's saying is just making it worse.

"No!" he practically yells, causing me to jump in my seat. "No. I don't want to see you in pain. Believe me when I tell you that it hurts me, too."

I shrug his words off and toy with the hem of my shirt. As much as I want to believe him, I just can't right now. My mind is going into overdrive and I can't deal with anything at this point.

From my peripheral, I can tell that Josh is annoyed as well. His fists are clenched around the steering wheel so much that his knuckles are turning white. His eyes glare at the predestrians as they walk across the cross walk in front of us. His jaw is clenched as well, his right leg bouncing up and down quickly - so quickly that he's shaking the car.

I feel words trying to get out of my mouth, but I refuse to let them out.

Just say it, my concious whispers to me, my will to resist dropping slightly, however, it's not enough for me to comply to its demand.

Do it.

No.

Yes.

No.

Say it.

Irritated, I give in just to have the voice stop.

"I'm sorry."

I don't have to look at him to know that he's shocked. I wait a moment for him to respond, but he doesn't.

"You're right," I bite my tounge after I speak, hoping that it'll stop me from talking even more.

"About what?" Josh asks, his voice no longer tight like it was a minute ago. His hands are now loosely placed on the bottom of the wheel.

I take a deep breath, knowing that he isn't mad at me anymore. "I forget that you haven't been around as long as Alec and Elizabeth have. If you had been, you would've known what I'm doing. When I don't like something, I shut it out and do all I can to ignore it. In this situation, that means avoiding eye contact for as long as I can. Believe me when I say that I know that I'm not helping anything or anyone by doing this, but it's my coping method. It's how I've always dealt with hard things. Things I don't particularly like."

The car fills with silence as I take time to catch my breath. I lean my head against the head rest and close my eyes, preparing myself for his response.

"I'm sorry, too."

I sure wasn't expecting that.

"I've been a jerk about it and I'm sorry. I've gone my whole life preparing for when I meet my Meise while you've only had a few weeks. I have been insensitive to you and your needs and that isn't fair of me." He takes the keys out of the car and it's only then that I notice we're in front of the school. He turns his torso so it's facing me before speaking again, "Let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"I'm going to do my best to be patient with you and you're going to try to get past this coping device you have. I'm not saying that I'll force you to look at me, but I'm not going to let you do this for too much longer. Does that sound fair?"

I think his proposition over in my head. If I accept, it'll benefit both of us. I'll learn to deal with things without the use of ignoring it, and Josh will learn to be more sensitive and knowledgable to my feelings. If I refuse however, I'll be able to ignore these visions for the rest of my life and Josh... I guess he doesn't gain anything from me saying no.

"Yes," I agree my voice so soft I can barely hear it.

"Good." Josh reaches over and grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers. "Thank you, Mia."

"Anytime, Josh. Anytime."

•••

"Mia!"

I yelp in surprise, falling off my bed. Josh bursts into laughter from my desk chair before helping me to my feet. I glare playfully at him - yes, I did actually look into his eyes. We made the deal only yesterday and I've already been able to look at him without seeing a vision. I do build up the wall before looking at him, but that's just a precaution. I haven't felt a vision tempting me since yesterday when I looked at him for the first time in days. I was actually able to prevent it though.

But he is the only person I've looked at for the past week.

"Mia!"

I jump again, forgeting that he'd called me. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Come downstairs please!"

With a sigh, I trudge to my door and fling it open. I look back at Josh and he grins at me before taking my hand in his and pulling me down the stairs.

We walk into the living room and see two people sitting on the couch. One male and one female. The male one is obviously my father, but I have no idea who the woman is.

The woman laughs softly at something that Dad must have said before I remember to announce my presence. I clear my throat loudly and both their heads snap to mine. I immediately drop my gaze. Thankfully neither of them made eye contact with me. Josh squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"Mia, I have someone I think you should meet," Dad says.

Slowly and carefully, I raise my head - building my walls as strong as I possibly can - to look at the lady. Her blue eyes shine like crystal and her teeth nearly sparkle as she smiles at me. The dark blue blouse fits perfectly on her torso, shaping every curve wonderfully. Her legs are adorned with simple black jeans with white sandals on her feet. Her blonde hair is twisted in an elegant bun, one that I've tried before but it never worked.

"Lauren, this is my daughter Mia. Mia, this is Lauren."

I didn't fail to notice Dad didn't say who she is. I step forward, stretching out my hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you as well. Your father talks a lot about you."

I'm too shocked with her beautiful voice that I miss the words she's actually saying.

Lauren looks behind me at Josh and smiles at him. "And you are...?"

I almost laugh. As if it'd be easy to tell her how involved Josh and I are.

"Joshua Meyers," he says, shaking hands with her as well. I almost forgot that his full name was Joshua since I always call him Josh. "I'm Mia's... friend."

I'm sure he's just as uncomfortable as I am with that term. Friend does nothing to explain the weird relationship we have.

"Well then, Joshua, it's nice to meet you." Lauren glances down at Josh's hand around mine and I blush but don't move it.

"Not to sound rude or anything, but... who are you?" I ask, trying to be polite as I can.

Dad steps in quickly, silencing whatever Lauren had opened her mouth to say. "Mia, can I talk to you alone for a moment, please?"

I nod, releasing Josh's hand and giving him a smile before following Dad down the hall into his study.

"What's up, Dad?"

Dad sighs, sitting down in his chair. "This might be hard for you to accept, Mia."

Worst case senarios run through my mind as I try to imagine what he could possibly have to tell me that I wouldn't like. Are we moving? Did he lose his job? Is he being sent to jail? Okay, that's a bit extreme, but still not out of question.

I stay silent watching him spin in circles for a moment before he faces me again.

"Lauren is my girlfriend."