"(Y/N)...I'm surprised you came to see me without being summoned..."

Erwin had opened the door before I had the chance to rethink knocking, so I had to brave up and push on with my plans.
"Yeah...so am I, honestly." I murmured, taking a slight step back as he shut the door behind him. "Have I caught you at a bad time? I can come back later if-"

"I was just going out in search of Hange. You're welcome to join me." Erwin motioned for me to walk and talk, and I obliged, fiddling with my hands behind my back. It was after dinner, so the corridors were mostly empty, but it seemed to make the silence that much harder to deal with.

"I, uh...I want to be issued a standard Survey Corps uniform." I started, tugging at my darker uniform jacket, glancing up at him. "P..please." Cocking a brow, the commander seemed a little taken aback, but nodded despite that.
"Of course, that won't be a problem. Why the sudden change, may I ask?"

I just...

Puffing out a long sigh, my shoulders shrugged loosely, my pace a bit faster than his so I could keep up with his longer legs.
"I stick out like a sore thumb. It's for aesthetic reasons, y'know..?" I partially lied, lowering my head as a group of new recruits scurried past us. "I also want you to place an offical ban on Linnea and Felicitas entering the barracks."

Erwin chuckled under his breath, opening the door and ushering me outside before he followed, the crisp evening air warning us of a cold winter's approach.
"I signed off on that after the run in. There's no need to concern yourself with them showing up around here." Stopping by a stack of crates, he turned to face me completely, an expectant look on his face. "Your third request, then? I assume you aren't finished yet."

He was right, of course. He always was. Uncomfortable under his gaze, I rubbed the back of my ankle with the toe of my boot, looking over at the dining hall exterior.
"I'd like to be removed from the special operations squad, and placed elsewhere..."

It'll be too awkward now...

After Erwin didn't speak for a while, I looked back to him, immediately realising it had been a trick to gain eye contact. The man looked almost amused.
"I'm afraid I won't allow that." Gritting my teeth, I refrained from snapping at him like I usually would, fists balling at my sides so I wouldn't yank him down by the collar.

"Why can't you do it?" I pressed, having to crane my neck to glare at him properly.
"Oh, I can. I simply won't. You suit that ragtag bunch a little too perfectly, so I don't think I'll comply with your wishes at this point in time." His audacity never ceased to shock me, or piss me off.

"I must insist that you slot me in somewhere else...Levi and I...had some issues, and I don't think we can work together anymore..." I spoke through clenched teeth, and there was no way he wasn't picking up on my frustrations. Still, he gave me that small, charming upturn of his lips.

"That's funny, because just this morning he was complimenting you on your quick thinking on your spur of the moment expedition. How you quickly found cover from the storm, which ensured your safety from both titans and the elements." I couldn't bite back with anything after hearing that.

Wait...he complimented me? After what we did? What I did..?

Deflating a little, I heaved my sigh of defeat, waving the commander off with a limp wrist.
"I reckon you're exaggerating, but whatever. I'll stick around with them, for now..." I wasn't pleased, but he was right. The special operations squad was the best place for me, even if things were going to be painfully awkward between Levi and myself.

"Was there anything else, (Y/N)?" Erwin's blond hair shifted with the wind, and I shook my head, placing the thumb side of my closed fist to my heart.
"No, Sir...That's all. Thanks, I guess..." Before I had the chance to turn and leave, his hand came down upon my head, and I had no choice but to look up at him. His brow was creased, and he was studying me closely.

"Hearing that come out of your mouth...almost feels wrong..." He murmured, fingers threading loosely in my (H/C) hair. "Calling me Sir, especially now, after revealing our connection...Why?" I couldn't quite understand what the problem was. First Levi, now Erwin? Hadn't they wanted me to call them as such?

"I guess I just had a revelation, of sorts. I need to grow the hell up. I mean...you aren't him...He's dead. Why should I keep myself chained to the trauma? It's just a word..." It still felt bitter on my tongue, but I'd learn. I'd cope and manage. I had to fall into line, at least in some way.

Erwin's hum of acknowledgement was distant, and he ruffled his hand further into my hair, messing it up.
"If that's how you feel...but I'd much prefer keeping things between us more casual when off duty...if you're willing to give me a chance to step up at such a late time..."

Chewing on my lip, I pulled his hand from my head, using my other to give it a small pat before returning it to his side for him.
"We'll work on it..." I agreed, still kind of unsure on the matter, but willing to give him a chance. If I was going to change, then I needed to stop pushing and start pulling.

Offering me a more genuine smile, Erin nodded his head to me, his posture seeming to improve.
"I appreciate it. Now, would you care to join me in my hunt for the elusive Hange?" He asked, but I shook my head, starting to turn in another direction.
"No, thanks. I'm not really up for that much enthusiasm this time of night. I'll catch you later...d...Winnie..."

No, it doesn't feel right yet...

Parting ways with the commander, I found myself sitting on another stack of crates, my breath fogging in front of me in thick puffs. It would snow soon, and things would just get harder within the walls. Food would be scarcer, and people would get antsy. Still, I was glad we weren't heading to Shiganshina before it hit. I wasn't prepared for whatever, or whoever, could be there.

I jumped a little as something fell over my shoulders, and turned to find Jean, laying his coat over me.
"Are you stupid? You're gonna freeze to death." He grumbled under his breath, and it was then that I realised I was, in fact, terribly cold.

"I thought we established that more than once..." I chuckled vacantly, pulling the sides in to cover my chest more. "Thanks, Jean-Boy..." Leaning beside where my legs hung, Jean looked up at the sky, stars dappling the darkened blue black.

"Connie nearly popped a vessel when he heard you went outside the wall." He sighed, fingers tapping against the wood. "Not gonna lie, I nearly did too, especially when you didn't come back. I should've known you were up to no good when we passed you in town."

Snorting, I relaxed beside him, though something inside of me was still on edge.
"I was trying to bring some cattle in, but I realised I'm not that great at rounding them up. My horse is still out there, living the life."

That's right. It's guilt.

I felt guilty about what had happened with Levi now that Jean was with me. I was out to fix all of my problems, but that was going to be easier said than done. My feelings were all mixed up, and I wasn't sure which direction to go, if any at all.

"I'm surprised the Captain didn't drag your soggy ass back." Jean chuckled, tilting his head as he looked at me. "I bet you two had a lot of fun without having to deal with a whole squad. That's your element out there." Internally cringing at his choice of terminology, I wrapped myself up tighter in his coat, hunching a bit.

"Actually...I'm pretty sure I pissed him off more than ever. Thanks to me, he got his boots all mucked up..." Thankfully, Jean found that mental image amusing, and didn't ask anything further about the situation. Instead, he changed the subject, almost excitedly.
"Hey, I have a rare day off tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we could, um, do that something I mentioned?"

Ah, yes. The something.

Taking my turn to gaze up at the sky, I hummed, heels tapping against the crates I sat upon.
"Do you have any ideas for said something, or are we just gonna wing it?" I queried, pulling my legs up and standing, enjoying how much taller I seemed compared to the man by my side.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could hit the marketplace first? Something away from the military bustle. What do you think? Do...you wanna spend the day with me..?" He offerred me his hand, looking up at me with hopefull, honeysuckle eyes, and I hesitated.

I seriously screwed up last night. I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't be trying to dance around with Jean after that, but...it doesn't have to be that kind of a date, right? Friends go out too...right..?

Slipping my hand into his, I nodded, allowing him to help me down, making sure I quickly put some distance between us when his hand lingered in mine.
"On one condition." I spoke up, holding up a single finger. Jean rolled his eyes, lightly scoffing at my moxie.
"Pffft, I've heard of these fabled (Y/N) conditions. What is it?"

"You gotta buy me a whole loaf of bread for breakfast. A big one. I want the entire thing. All to myself."

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***Fluff incoming.

First chapter update of the year, my dudes. I personally feel like shit, but I hope everyone had a great New Years!

I'm trying to work on an animatic to prove as a trailer/accompaniment to this story...but my animation skills are awful, and with all the gear and zipping and zooming and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Anyway, yeah, it'll be to the english cover of Sasageyo by NateWantsToBattle.

Next Time: Totally Not a Date***