People were cheering for us.

Screaming, clapping, calling out their hopes and praises. I had never seen so much support for the Scout Regiment before, and it was unnerving. It felt like a lot of pressure. I stood by Erwin's side as he addressed the civillians, gazing down upon the crowd.

I spotted Verena, somehow, clutching a handkerchief to her chin, waving up at me. I waved back, wishing I had spent more time with her before leaving. She was a mother to me, in all ways but blood. Our shared grief had brought us together.

I involuntarily flinched when Erwin yelled at the top of his lungs, fist in the air, and I watched him closely, my own fist slowly rising to mimic, but without the energy. Nothing anybody said really reached me, not until we were on the ground beyond the wall, cantering out into our designated positions.

"I almost didn't recognise you, (Y/N). You changed your uniform?" Armin called out to me, and I turned, my horse a length or two in front of them.
"Yeah. I guess it works for the mission. I'd stand out too much when we're all trying to look the same to protect Titanous Tim over here." I motioned to Eren, and he clicked his tongue, though quickly offered a small smile afterward.

"I suppose you're right..." The blond hummed, slightly breaking our formation to ride up alongside me, much to my surprise. He usually followed the rules, so I hadn't expected him to. "Are you doing okay? You've seemed a bit off since preperations started."

Glancing over at him, my own hood blocking my view of half of his face, I cocked a brow.
"Aren't I always a bit off? I mean, I'm shitting myself, but no more than usual. You're the ones who should be off. You're going home..." His smile was lacking, and that alone told me he was nervous, but he had his head in the game.

"We are, but I know a certain something has you worried. I just wanted you to know that you have us to fall back on. You always push yourself really hard, and it's incredible, but we're here to support you. You know that, right?"

Heaving a sigh, I asjusted my feet in the stirrups, still not used to using tack when riding.
"You mean Reiner, right?" I turned my head to him completely, and his face almost dropped. "Thanks, Armin. I actually might need your support with that. If it were Annie...easy...but Reiner? Even Bertholdt? I don't think I could cope with that on my own. I'll fuck it up."

I knew I would. When people called them traitors, I had to bite my tongue. They were no such thing. Levi had stated it before. They had never been on our side to begin with, so they couldn't be traitors. From their perspective, sure, I understood why they'd think it, but I saw it differently. They had a reason, and I wanted to know what it was.

I had almost forgotten what Reiner looked like. After replaying that fateful twenty four hours in my mind, over and over, it was a blur. Featureless and haunting. Whatever the reason, I needed to know why he had been there for me. Why had he allowed me to get so close to falling in love with him?

"I want to know too. There are so many unanswered questions, it keeps gnawing at me." Armin sighed, starting to drop behind a little to get back into position. "We'll get the answers though. I'm sure they're all there, in Grisha's basement."

How could one man have all the answers? It's impossible.

Night threw its heavy blanket upon us, and I tuned out most conversation, stewing in my own thoughts. We passed by numerous slumbering titans, sparing them so we wouldn't lose time. The closer we got, the sicker I felt. I actually pleaded for one of my blackout episodes to take me over, but I remained fully conscious.

My inner self wanted to seek comfort, but Jean was too far behind, and both Levi and Erwin were too far ahead. It was just me, myself and I, along with my crippling anxieties. I was getting saddle sore, and just as I was about to throw the formation to the wind, somebody piped up.

"I see the foot of the mountain! There are signs of a trail ahead!" That was all I needed. Adrenaline was slowly spreading through my body, and my back straightened out. I had to keep my head clear from here on in. There was no room for any mistakes, no matter how minor.

Shiganshina looked haunting in the dull dawn when we broke over the mountain top. Silent, almost dead, nothing but the sound of thundering hooves and faint trickles from the river. The closer we got, the heavier that feeling of dread became, but I shook it off. It was my only option.

"There could be titans anywhere, so keep your guard up!" Erwin directed from the front, his voice booming through our ranks. It was so difficult to stay where I had been told to when I wanted nothing more than to join him up front, but I had to behave. I had to make the work that people had put into me count. "All troops! Switch to ODM gear!"

Without any hesitation, I climbed to a stand upon my galloping mount, deploying my grappels and launching myself up towards the top of the wall. Our goal seemed simple. Eren was to plug the outer entrance with his hardening ability, and then return to seal the inner gate. We had to keep our hoods up, hiding our faces so the enemy couldn't pick Eren out.

The enemy...

I hated that word. The only piloted titans I sincerely considered enemies were Annie and the giant, fur-covered bastard. I couldn't place Reiner or Bertholdt under that category. Not yet. Once I landed on top of the wall, I took a deep breath, my eyes scanning over the ruined district.

So many deaths had occurred here. Innocent men, women and children. Clifford (L/N). Almost my own, not too far away. I couldn't understand how the pair of them could have done so much damage as children. Why? What reasons did they have to cause so much death?

Shaking myself out of it, I began to run a little behind who I presumed to be Eren and his group, skidding to a halt when one of them stopped dead.
"Ashes...from a kicked out fire..?" Armin spoke under his breath, and I followed his gaze as he called out to the commander.

He was right. Somebody had been there recently. It wasn't something that had been left over from the distaster. Crouching down, my own team waiting silently off to the side, I pressed my fingers into the black powder, rubbing it between the pads.
"Today. This was put out today..." I murmured, turning to meet his fearful eyes. I knew we were thinking the exact same thing.

Reiner...and Bertholdt. They're here.

I heard the signal flares, and I heard the crashing thunder of Eren's transformation, but I didn't look towards it. Instead, I scanned the city, slowly rising back to a stand.
"There aren't any titans. This is too lucky..." I murmured, and Armin agreed, his ears for me and his eyes for Eren across the other side as he did his job.

"I agree. So, what do the two of you believe we should do?" Erwin approached us, my squad seperating to let him through. Glancing to Armin, again, our words didn't have to be shared.
"Sir, we need to do a sweep of the entire city. They're likely closer to the wall, but we can't leave any stone unturned."

The commander nodded, adjusting the hood of his cloak so it further shielded his face.
"I third that notion. Do what needs to be done." Giving him a short nod, I stepped around him and signalled to my team. They all stood obediently in my presence, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever get used to it.

"Search the city. Everywhere you can reach. Signal if you find anything, or anyone, but do not engage. Go!" There was no waver to my voice yet, but I could feel that it wasn't far off. They all saluted me, hands to their chests, sounding off their understanding before starting their task.

Armin and I jumped right in, too, deciding to stay nearby the wall so we could rendezvous quickly if needed. It didn't take long for us to find a cold pot and some cups, right below where the ashes had been found. As the blond fiddled with the pot, I picked up one of the tin cups, reaching my fingers inside.

It had the dregs of a dark, gritty liquid inside, and I gave my fingers a sniff. It smelled bitter, but oddly inviting. I knew it wasn't tea, so I brought the cup to my lips, tipping my head back.
"D..don't drink it..!" Armin yipped, snatching the cup away, but I had already swallowed thr contents.

Smacking my lips a few times, I scrunched my nose up and stuck out my tongue, wiping the almost sandy, wet crumbs away.
"That's crazy bitter. Don't reccomend that." After a concerned scolding from my companion, we returned to the Commander, and I allowed Armin to explain our findings.

"We charged here at full speed on horseback, and even switched to ODM gear. If they had noticed our advance by sight, even by sound, they wouldn't have had more than two minutes to react. A pot over flame wouldn't have cooled in that time." Erwin deduced, hand on his chin. "They had to have known that we were coming for at least five minutes or more, which tells me they've had plenty of time to prepare for our arrival."

They know us. They were always going to be prepared...

"I believe they may have a scout, in addition to the third. We need to assume that we have many enemies waiting for us..." Armin added, obviously beginning to panic. I was starting to get jittery too, but I was able to hold myself together just a bit better.

I kind of stepped away as Erwin spoke to Armin, giving him control of most of his personal squadron, and I tried to think. There was no way I was smarter than Armin, but I had to at least attempt to figure it out.

"(Y/N), do you wish to remain here?" Erwin called out to me, and I jolted, looking over to him. He knew my position, and he was giving me the option to keep out of it.

No, I'm involved, whether I like it or not.

"I appreciate it, Sir, but I'm up for a hunt. Besides, I know him. I think I stand a good chance at finding him..." He softened, but still gave me a salute, nodding his understanding.
"It's still so strange hearing you say that word, but alright. I have faith in you."

We searched high and low, but there was no further trace of anybody. Seeing the shredded children's toys and half-powdered bones strewn about was making me feel sick to my stomach, but I persisted until we all returned to the wall, our squads combining upon Armin's request.

The moment I saw his face, I knew he had caught on to something we had all missed.
"The walls! Everyone scour the walls!" He ordered, now without any sort of hitch in his voice. Confused, the troops looked among themselves.
"But, we already searched all around them!"
"There isn't anywhere to hide on the walls!"

On...but...

"Check inside them!" Armin shouted his response, and the group fell into a stunned silence. "Look for a small cavity that someone could hide out in. It may be covered." It almost sounded ridiculous, but Armin had always been of incredible mind.
"How do you know that this exists?!" One of the members of my squad asked in a tone I didn't quite like, and I saw the usual Armin begin to resurface.

"I, uh...it's a hunch..." He murmured, shrinking down. The scout puffed up, getting ready to shout, and I stepped in front of the boy, though my height was doing absolutely nothing to help me look intimidating. My eyes, though? Pure, (E/C) aggression, which stopped him in his tracks.

"You're under his command. You shut up, and you do what he tells you to. Do you understand me, you mouthy bastard?" There was no need for me to shout. I had learned from the king of intimidation himself, and it showed. Backing up, the scout fell back in line, and I drew my blades once more.

They still began to argue, but the loud bang, followed by a stream of rusty red smoke cut them off, and we all turned to Commander Erwin, who stood tall with his flare gun still raised. He had put the mission on pause.

"There are times to be strict, and times to be flexible. Uphold the principals of your vows. Do what it takes to win. Follow the chain of command, and keep your eyes set on the path to victory." To me, it sounded pretty corny, but I knew it struck everyone else hard.

"Form two groups again and check the wall surface! Start your search above the gate! Go, quickly!" Armin was speaking so loudly, I was proud of him. Still, everyone hesitated, and I cleared my throat, pointing my blade towards the gate.
"Did he fucking stutter?! Move your asses! Now!"

I wasn't going to lie, it felt pretty good to see everyone scatter at my command, even Armin, but I wasn't going to let it get to my head. I had seen what that could do to a person.
"I'll admit, you can be rather terrifying when you snap like that." Erwin commented, moving to stand at my side. "I know I don't have to tell you to be careful out there."

My sigh was shaky as it came out of my throat, but I didn't let any other forms of my fear show, nudging the man in his side gently before launching off of the wall.
"You just take it easy, Winnie, Sir! You've got the best seat in the house!"

The next while was a long, drawn out nightmare of anticipation. Knock, knock, shift. Knock, knock, shift. We weren't coming up with anything. I knew Armin was beginning to doubt himself, but even if he was wrong, it was worth investigating.

Every now and then, I stole a glance to my friends in the other squads, scattered along the wall tops. I could see Jean, albeit barely, and Levi, too. It felt strange not being by their sides. Knock, knock, shi...

Wait, that was hollow...

In a rush, I grabbed my acoustic flare and shot it upwards, hoping that whoever was above me didn't get a shot up the ass. Time stood still as everyone turned to me, and I met Armin's eyes for the umpteenth time, our terror becoming one.

"Th..this part of the wall is hollow..!" I had more to say. I had the ability to move, but I couldn't. The false surface shifted, and before I could turn my head back around, something pushed me backwards and down, blade to my throat. The grappling wires of my gear loosened and allowed us to fall, and when my eyes met the striking golden hazel I had once adored.

"R..Reiner..."

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***Henlo you stimky nugget man

I suck at writing fights, but hey, I'm gonna span this out for a bit because I'm hoping to commission an illustration for later on. If it takes too long, well, I'll just go back and edit it in later.

Also, I drew myself being the first and only member of the Eld Protection Squad. Yes, I have a problem. I love him.

His arm looks so funky bad but I was too lazy to fix it.

Next Time: Closure***