"Quit being so damn lazy."

I chose to ignore Levi, the person I least wanted to talk to, rolling over and squishing my face further into Hange's stomach, causing her to giggle. I was exhausted from babysitting the orphaned underground children on my own the day before, so Hange's lap was my current refuge.

"Oh, let her be, y'big buzzkill! She's all comfy womfy!" The woman chuckled, giving my head a nice pat as Erwin cleared his throat.
"We have two weeks until we move out to reclaim Wall Maria. From where I stand, preperations seem to be coming along smoothly. I'd like your input. Do we have enough time? Soldiers? Equiptment?"

Nearly wiping the glasses off of Hange's face, I lifted my arm into the air, not bothering to turn around, only uncover my mouth a little.
"I missed out on breakfast the last three days because there are so many new recruits. I think we're good." Levi clicked his tongue from the other end of the sofa, and I flopped my arm back down.
"That's because you sleep in every day, you idiot."

I miss you being somewhat nice to me...

I would have bitten back, but Hange resumed stroking my hair, so I simply let it go.
"Eren's training is going great! We've started taking longer breaks now, so he doesn't overwork himself so close to his big debut!" She explained, and I zoned out on a lot of the following conversation until something important came up.

"-ed to be prepared in case Reiner and Bertholdt are waiting for us." I sat up instantly, my face serious as I turned to the commander.
"Do you really think they'd be there?" That was something I had done my best not to think about, but now there was no avoiding it.

"Nobody can say for sure, but we need to be ready. We all saw how desperate they were to get their hands on Eren, and Historia, too. They won't be holding back next time." Erwin explained, obviously sensing my fears. If they did show up, I needed to be able to fight with a clear mind. There was no room for meltdowns.

"The Beast titan, too. There's no way that thing wasn't human...It spoke..." I had to rub my eyes to rid myself of the final moments of Mike's life, and I flinched when Levi gave me a slight pat on the back.
"We're more than prepared to do this. Right now, all we can do is continue training the cadets, gather our supplies, and put our faith in Eren, and our own abilities." He announced, and I stared at my knees, willing away my nerves.

The meeting ended with simple pleasantries, and I started to make my way out of the building, hoping to maybe catch a quick bite for lunch before the newbies filtered into the mess hall like a swarm of locusts.
"Oi." My whole body flinched head to toe when I heard that voiced, and I slowly turned around, hunched, to find Levi behind me. "A word."

Please don't be about what happened...

Cautiously, I followed him, internally panicking when he opened the door to his quarters. It was absolutely spotless, which was no surprise, with just a bed, dresser and desk. When he closed the door behind me, I cleared my throat.
"So, uh, what's up? Am I in trouble or something..?"

Moving to stand by the bed, Levi motioned for me to take a seat, and I did so without complaint. I didn't exactly want to be chewed out.
"We need to talk about what went down during the storm." He sighed, pulling the chair out from his desk and sitting on it backwards, resting his arms on the back.

Discomfort tried to consume me, but I tried to play it off as nonchalance.
"What storm? I have no idea what you're talking about..." I mumbled, shrinking down under his glare.
"Don't mess with me, girl. We have to be at the top of our game when we head out on this next expedition, so we need to clear the air between us."

He's right...

It didn't make it any less awkward, though. The atmosphere was already heavy, and I didn't exatly want to be crushed by it.
"Look...I'm s..sorry, for whatever I did to upset you. I...was under the impression that you wanted me to call you that..." I admitted, choosing not to bring my knees to my chest, in case the ravonet barked at me for putting my boots on his sheets.

"It wasn't that it didn't please me." He spoke clearly, but the usual stern tone to his voice wasn't present. "It just showed me that you weren't thinking clearly." Furrowing my brows, I stared at him for a while, trying to understand what he meant.
"Levi, I wasn't dru-"

"Did I say you were? No, I mean in general. You obviously have a lot on your mind, and I don't want to be on the list of anyone's regrets. Especially not yours." He jumped in over the top of me, resting his chin on his arms lazily. "It took a lot for me to stop things there, I want you to know that. What I said, albeit embarrassing, was true."

That four letter word again...

"I can see that you don't know what the hell you want, and I'm not about to risk anything, be it our personal or professional relationship, by taking advantage of that." It kind of made sense now, even though I was having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that Levi had basically confessed some kind of love to me.

"There's a lot going on in my head at the moment...I just need-"
"I can see there's something between you and Kirstein. I get it. Believe me, he'd be the better choice, all things considere-" He surprisingly zipped his lips when I stomped my foot on the ground, my glare sharp. I had learned from the master, after all.

"Could you maybe let me finish a damn sentence?" I requested, a whole lot of threat in my voice. When he remained silent, I nodded my thanks and continued. "I need time to think. To get on track and actually figure out who I am as a person. I do like you. You're a piece of shit at the best of times, but I do like you."

Is it the same? Which is the real feeling..?

"Anyone with a pair of eyes can tell I have issues. Losing Eld...and everybody else...fucked me up more than I already had been. I'm not past that yet. I will be, but it's gonna take some time." I went on to explain, pinching at his pristine sheets beneath me. "The same goes for the whole Sir thing. I'm trying to find my place, and living in the walls means I need to follow the rules. I get that now, so I'm trying it out. B..but...in a less...sexual way...than what you heard..."

Once Levi was sure I had finished, he hummed, lifting his head and scratching at the shorter areas of his hair.
"You're incredibly lucky that I had taken it easy on the drink...because that would have really set me off..." Was he trying to tease me? If so, it was working, and if not, it was still working.

Hiding my face in my hands, I whined, shaking my upper body side to side.
"Ooooookay..! Was that all you wanted to say, or am I free to go?!" Peeping out from between my fingers, I waited to be excused, but it never came.
"One more thing, and no, it doesn't have anything to do with us nearly fucking like rabbits."

He's going to actually kill me.

Waiting for me to stop flustering like the moron I was, he continued.
"If we do run into Reiner and Bertholdt, you need to be ready. Once captured, you do realise that we'll need to feed them to people, in order to take their power, don't you?"

I did know that, but I didn't want to keep thinking about it. Though it had been a long time, I still harboured feelings for Reiner. He wasn't all bad, I was sure of it. I just wanted a chance to talk to him. To try and understand his reasoning. Somehow, I didn't think I'd ever get the chance.

"I know that. I'll do whatever it takes to bring them to their knees...but don't expect me to take part in whatever comes next. You know I can't do that." Looking into the captain's eyes, I pleaded for compassion, and he gave it to me with a single nod.

"That's fine by me. I just need to know that you won't hesitate. I refuse to let you die before I do." I held my breath as we continued to stare at each other for the longest time, eventually having no choice but to exhale sharply.
"Thanks..." I murmured, looking down to the floor. "...Sir..."

Oh boy, now whenever I say that to him it's gonna be freaking weird...

"It's gonna take a while for me to get used to that..." Levi scoffed, rising from his seat and dragging it back to its place at his desk. "...and to not get excited by it." Choking on my own spit, I leapt to my feet, avoiding his eyes as I scurried towards the door.
"Yep, okay, righto..! Good chat, man! I'm gonna go now..!"

I squeaked as I felt him grab my hand, and I stood, my own hand poised over the door handle.
"One last question, (Y/N)." His voice had dropped several octaves, and I gulped, my throat dry. "Do you have something to live for, or something to die for..?" His querie hit me in both the right and wrong places, and I trained my eyes to my warped reflection in the handle.

"Even though it's harder...I think I have a hell of alot to live for..."

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***Levi, down boy.

Next Time: Disobedience***