"Hey...what would you think someone meant if they said they were fond of you..?" I asked as I prodded at my breakfast roll, pursing my lips. It had been four days since Levi and I had returned from the interior, and his words hadn't left my thoughts. I had merely said I was fond of him too, but thinking back on it, it felt like it could have had a number of meanings.

"I dunno...If it was a guy, probably means they like you, I guess?" Connie replied with a full mouth, hammering his chest when something slid down the wrong pipe.

Why the hell am I asking Springer, of all people?

"Do you mean...friendship like...or...like like..?" I questioned, pushing my plate away, only to have him shove it right back towards me.
"What are you, a little kid? I mean in the romantic sense, obviously! And don't you go skipping out on food again, (N/N)! I haven't seen you eat a damn thing for weeks!" Raising my hands in sarcastic defense, I stuck my tongue out at him, reaching for the stale bread and taking an exaggerated bite, chewing with my mouth wide open.

"Happy?" I snarked once I had swallowed, already feeling indigestion firing up in my chest. "Romantic, huh? Yeah, I doubt that...This person isn't exactly someone who would feel like that towards anyone...I think..."

Maybe? I have no idea...My head still hurts...

Glancing around to make sure nobody was in ear shot, Connie leant over the table and directed his ear towards me.
"C'mon, tell me a name, at least! My lips are sealed, I promise!" He urged me to spill, and I hesitated. I did trust Connie, especially after he had hauled my injured, unconscious ass out of battle, but was I really about to throw Levi under a carriage when it could have been a mere compliment to a peer?

"Well..." I bit my lip, twining my fingers together beneath the table. "...do you swear?"
"On all the hairs I have left on my head. Tell!" Connie was almost flat against the tabletop now, and I caved.
"It was...Levi..."

"HAH?!" I wanted to facepalm as I heard his crotch splatter his breakfast when he lost his balance, and he slid back down to a seated position, seeming unphased by the mess he had made of himself and the entire bench. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY J...SOMEONE TOTALLY DIFFERENT!" He screeched, and I lobbed my half-eaten roll at his shaved head.
"Shut up, loud mouth! Everyone's staring!" I hissed, curious, but choosing to ignore who he may have thought I was speaking of. "Yeah...It's so out of character for a guy like him to say something like that...let alone anything nice at all..."

There's no way...

Flicking the cold rice porridge from his shirt, Connie blew out a long whistle, shaking his head in disbelief.
"I mean...wow...Isn't he like, old? And emotionally constipated, or something? That's what I've heard, anyway..." He laughed awkwardly, looking back at me.
"Not like, old old...but older...And yeah, from my experiences with him, he's a little backed up in the sentimental department...That's why I have no idea what to make of it..."

"If I'm honest...I have no clue...which means you're up shit creek, cuz I'm the smartest guy in this damn district." Connie sighed, allowing his ego to overflow a little. "I dunno...just wait and see what happens. You're a pretty girl, and strong as hell, even if you're off your rocker...He wouldn't be the only one who likes you." Squinting, I stared right at him, scrunching up my nose.
"You're not saying you-"

"Nooooooo way, (N/N)! Absolutely not what I was getting at!" Cheeks flaring, the boy shook his head wildly, causing me to sigh in relief. "All I'm saying is that if you take notice of details a little more, you might be surprised."
"That sounds like a whole lotta effort, Con. Every guy I get close to seems to die...as though there's some higher power, ticking them off the list and enjoying watching me suffer..." I mumbled, looking up at the ceiling. "...The ugly fucker is probably grinning ear to ear right now after dealing me the last couple of chapters of my life..."

Choosing to ignore my strange muttering, Connie took the final bite of his squashed breakfast, pushing the scraps away and leaning in on his elbows.
"It wouldn't hurt to just keep an open mind, y'know? You do you, but don't be stupid and push away a good thing just because you're scared."

Connie...when the fuck did you're braincells multiply?!

"Uh, Miss. (L/N)?" I blinked as I swivelled in my seat, meeting the anxious eyes of Moblit. "I have a message for you, from Captain Levi. Hange asked me to pass it on."
"Oh, hey. Go ahead, then. I swear, if it's another mission, I'll actually kick him. I'm off the field until I get a thumbs up from the medics." I gave him a small smile, but it was empty. Positivity had been scarce for me, as of late, but I still tried.

"N..no need for that, I'm sure..." The brunet laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck before pulling out a folded sheet of paper. "This is what he sent...(Y/N), you have a job to do, so quit moping around so much. I need you to gather up the recruits for the new squad and bring them to a disclosed location. The Commander shall direct you when ready. I would do it myself, but you're getting off too easily, so deal with it..." The poor man seemed so distressed by relaying Levi's message, but I found it slightly entertaining, once I got past the captain essentially calling me a lazy piece of shit. That was, until, I realised what it meant.

"Replacements, huh..?" I murmured, feeling my chest squeeze a little as I thought of our old squad. It didn't feel right, but I knew it had to be done. They would be a step towards moving on, but I knew that they would never hold a candle to the past. Not to my Eld. "Alright, give me the names of the unlucky fuckers. I'll warn them to kiss their asses goodbye, while I'm at it."

Heh...Hopefully they're not too green...

Moblit scanned down the letter for a few moments before finding his place with his index finger.
"Okay, let's see...Mikasa Ackerman, Krista Lenz, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Eren Jaeger, Sasha Blouse and Connie Springer are the team listed."

Fuck.

After giving Connie a few moments to choke on his own spit, I brushed a hand through my (H/C) hair, tugging on it to relieve myself of a little frustration.
"Well, this is a...shock...Thanks for passing it on, Mo. I'll get onto that at some point..." I mumbled, standing from my seat. "Do you know where the fu...I mean, Levi is, by any chance? I'd like to have a few words..."

I'm going to kick him so hard up the ass that his esophagus prolapses out his mouth..!

"I...uh...think he already left...Sorry..." Sensing my anger; much like a meek little rabbit, Moblit gave me a salute before scurrying off, likely to rejoin with Hange in whatever experiments she was planning. Connie had taken a place by my side, scratching his head.
"So, that was unexpected! Kinda cool, though! Want some help?" His offer came as a huge relief, and I quickly nodded and nudged him to start walking along with me.

"Definitely. Can you go let Sash, Mikasa, Armin and...Jaeger...know? You're closer with them. I'll let, uh...Krista and Kirstein know." My teeth clamped down at the thought of being in such a close proximity to Eren, as well as his little scarfed guard dog, but I had to deal with it. A deal was a deal.
"Sure, no problem! I thought I saw K...Historia by the infirmary earlier. She's been helping them out for the past few weeks."

Okay...Now to break the news...

-------------------------------------

"Yo, Krista." I nodded to the doe-eyed blonde as I approached, glad to find her on her way out, back towards the mess hall. She gave me a small smile in return, and I was actually glad to not have to crane my neck to speak to somebody for once, considering we were about the same height.
"Hey, (Y/N)! Um, it's actually Historia..." She laughed nervously, and I waved her correction off.
"Eh, Kristoria, whatever. Anyway, Levi wanted me to let you know that you're a part of the Special Operations Squad, starting now. We've gotta head out as soon as possible...so I'm thinking tomorrow morning, cuz I don't wanna give him the satisfaction." I smirked a little to myself, thinking of just how riled up the captain would be once he realised we weren't rushing to his call.

The young woman perked up, but not exactly in excitement. It was more shock, than anything.
"Oh, wow, really? I mean...I never expected that...It's kind of daunting, ya know?" Her cuteness gave me mixed feelings. Part admiration, part disgust. She seemed too spirited for someone who had also dealt with her closest friend becoming a titan, and being kidnapped amidst such a chaotic battle.

"Well, not to be rude, but it's probably because you're, what was it? Royalty? Sorry, my concussion really had me all backwards for a while. I wasn't quite all there when I got the rundown." I confessed, kicking at some stray gravel by my boot. "It's probably a ruse to ensure you don't get nabbed." Nodding in understanding, Historia's demeanor didn't change at all.
"Yeah, you might be right. But I'm still glad that I get to be included!"

Ugh, yeah, I can't handle the sugary attitude right now...

Pocketing my hands, I looked up and across the courtyard, keeping my eyes peeled for the colour of copper.
"Yup...So, anyway...Have you seen Kirstein around? Gotta tick him off the list." Any excuse to get away from literal sunshine.
"Hmmm, last I saw Jean, he mentioned something about taking a nap. He's been a bit off since he was knocked unconscious." Historia hummed, scratching her chin with an elegant finger. "You'll probably find him in his room, but we're not supposed to go into the guys' living quarters..."

Pffft...

Already walking away, I gave the girl a small wave over my shoulder, knowing full well I could get in there without any repercussions.
"Thanks, Kristoria. It'll be fine, I'll just pop my head in and let him know the details. Seeya later." I yawned, liking the idea of a nap, but knowing it had to wait.
"O..okay! I'll get ready to head out, then! Bye, (Y/N)!"

--------------------------------------

I didn't like seeing that Marco's old bed had been claimed by another recruit. Of course, I knew it was inevitable, but it didn't make it any less painful. On the other side, however, I spotted Jean, face down on his mattress, uncovered and fully dressed, down to his boots and buckles.

Classy...

Making my way over, I lifted my leg, using my foot to nudge him rather hard in the asscheek, which caused him to snort awake and groan loudly.
"Ugh, fuck off..." He droned, swiping in my direction with a limp wrist. Rolling my eyes; a slight amused smile tugging at my lips, I repeated my action, clearing my throat as I did so.
"I know you think you need a lot of beauty sleep, Kirstein, but you're at the point of no return, so give it up." I chuckled quietly, watching the man roll onto his side and rub his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here..?" He muttered, his voice surprisingly husky from having just woken up. It didn't sound half bad. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I tried to ignore that thought.
"Don't get your hopes up, this isn't a leisurely visit." I said sarcastically, letting my eyes stray to the small window. "You gotta get ready. As of today, you're part of mine and Levi's dumbass squad, so congratulations."

This news seemed to wake Jean up a heck of a lot more, and he sat up on his bunk, scratching the sleep from his squinting eyes.
"C..could you repeat that without the whole attitude thing?" He asked, obviously not someone who took too kindly to be woken up by a boot to the ass.
"You. Levi squad. Get ready." The way I drawled out each word only made him more agitated, but I was in the same boat. Everyone I was closest with was now in more danger than before, and I was definitely planning on giving Levi a piece of my mind. He knew how I would feel about it, but that hadn't stopped him.

Selfish little prick...

"Well, shit..." Jean groaned as he ran a hand down his face. "I guess I'm supposed to feel honoured or something, huh..?" It was then that I noticed just how tired he really looked. Dark bags hung below his eyes, and I could tell he was trying so hard not to continue yawning. I may have felt just a little shitty for waking him up.
"Look...I don't know why you're so sluggish today, but you can go back to sleep for a bit, if you want. Earliest we'll be leaving is after dinner, cuz I need to go chat with Smith so I don't get us all lost...Plus, fuck going out of my way to meet the pint-sized asswipe's expectations..." Folding my arms, I considered walking out and leaving him be, but my feet wouldn't move.

Flopping down onto his back, Jean stretched out, and it took me a few moments too long to realise that I had been staring at the sharp curve of his hip bones, which stuck out through his tucked shirt.

Not today, hormones..!

"Just been training more than I'm used to...I was shit out there, so I wanna get better..." He admitted, letting his eyes drift closed again. "I'll get up in a sec." What he said was painfully relatable. I would have been training too if I hadn't been on close watch for my injuries. Everyone could stand to improve.

Shuffling my feet, I wanted to force some snarky, backhanded compliment out, or just something that was straight up harsh, but I just couldn't muster the energy to be a bitch to him.
"You weren't shit...Not in the slightest..."

You weren't the one who considered saving the...enemy...

"A..anyway...I'm gonna head off and get instructions from Erwin..." I coughed, starting towards the door. "I'll, uh, come grab you when we're thinking about leaving..." I wasn't sure what was coming over me. Seeing him sprawled out on that bed of his had my head throbbing, but not in an ache. A part of me questioned whether it was pity, but that didn't seem right, either.

Jean propped himself up on his elbows, catching my attention before I could slip through the doorway.
"Oi, uh..." He paused, staring at me with those sharp medallion eyes, before heaving a sigh. "...Thanks...for telling me." All I did was shrug my shoulders as I strode away, hoping that parting from him would maybe relieve some of the tension in my head.

This better just be a touch of brain damage, I swear to god...

--------------------------------------

"Dammit, you colossal fu...Give it here!" I scolded the Commander, snatching the teapot from his remaining hand after watching him struggle for far too long. I had offered my aid, but he had insisted that he could do it by himself.

"I was doing fine..." Erwin mumbled, taking a seat as I poured our tea and began to mop up the significant spillage. He was back to acting like a regular human, for now, and I could tell that by the way he flinched under my stern glare, which softened once I handed him his beverage.

"Seriously, Winnie...Why don't you retire..? Step down and take it easy..." It was a stupid thing to bring up, but I couldn't help it. His condition worried me to no end. Letting out a small chuckle, Erwin shook his head whilst he sipped, leaning back and smiling at me as he swallowed.
"I've never heard such lunacy in my entire life. I've still got plenty of fight left in me, so retirement is out of the question."

Idiot...

"This is why you and Levi can't find wives. You're both fucking mental..." I muttered, watching the steam rise from my tea as it cooled.
"You, my dear, are in no position to talk." He nudged me with his knee, leaving it to sit against mine as we sat side by side. "Besides, I have a feeling Levi already has his sights set on a lovely young lady..." The snort that rushed out of my nose causes my sinuses to hurt, and I leant back, trying to maintain my laughter.

"What, seriously?! God, she must have a head of hair like a mop! That's all I can picture for Mr. Squeaky Clean!" I froze as I felt a heavy hand on my head; fingers brushing through my unruly (H/C) hair, and a soft snicker from the blond beside me.
"Well, a mop wouldn't be too far off it..."

You've gotta be-

Slowly, I turned to look up into Erwin's face, and I knew that knowing look. It was obvious what he was trying to hint at, but I still couldn't believe it.
"Wh..what? Pffft, no! Nuh-uh...He doesn't..." I swallowed, feeling an unwanted heat creep into my cheeks. "I mean...he did say he was fond of me...but like...not like that..." Erwin's hand slid from the top of my head, down the side of my face to my shoulder, and that damned look didn't falter.

"Did he specifically state that it wasn't in the romantic sense?" He asked, and I puffed out my cheeks, dreading the embarrassment that began to flood my mind.
"W..well...no...but-"
"Then he may have been trying to admit an attraction to you, in his own, Levi-ish way." Erwin laughed as I shrunk down, giving my shoulder a few pats.
"Wh..what aren't you telling me, you broken tree..?" I huffed, letting my childish nature come out to play.

"Ah, don't mind me, (Y/N)...I'm just bored, trying to mess around." The Commander sighed, nudging me with his knee again. "Would it be so bad, though? You two seem like a...charming couple..."

Stick to your day job, Winnie...Match making isn't your forté...

"He's a butt...and I..I don't know...It's so soon...after..." Swallowing, I leant into Erwin's left side, hiding my face in his arm. "...Eld meant so much to me...then...after R...After everything that just happened...I don't know, Winnie...I'm really not sure what to think about the whole lovey dovey shit..."

Eld was killed...Reiner betrayed us...and now...

"...and I keep getting this weird, familiar feeling around him...and somebody else..." I trailed off into a meek whisper, and I groaned softly when Erwin squeezed me closer, adding a few extra pats to my back.
"You know, ever since you were a child, I could tell you were a person who reacted from pure instincts. Do you remember the day I visited your house for the first time? You kicked me right in the shin, thinking I was a titan..." He chuckled to himself, and I squished myself further into his shirt.

"Yeah...I got my ass beat for that..." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "...Still kinda funny, though..." I felt him tense at my recollection, but he didn't ask questions.
"From that meeting, I knew you'd grow up to be a strong woman. After everything you went through, you still smiled every time I saw you. A particularly fond memory of mine is when I saw you with your elder brother, down at the Garrison training compound." Erwin leant further back into his seat, and he didn't complain in the slightest when I chose to lay my head down on his legs, rolling to I could still hide my face away in the puff of his shirt. "Such a small little girl, trying to pick fights with seasoned Garrison soldiers...It was truly a sight to behold."

"Heh...I remember that...I bit that Hannes guy on the ankle when he tried to balance a bottle of booze on my head..." I smiled softly, glad to be reminded of a rare, positive highlight from way back when. "Dimitri tried to make me apologise, so I said my apology would be going easy on him in a fight..."

Why can't things have been like that all the time..? Why not now..?

"You sure were a little spitfire..." Erwin's single hand found my hair again, and I relaxed as I felt his fingers twine through it placidly. "Pure instincts, though...not just a troublemaker. What I'm saying is that you'll know what to do, whatever comes your way. Be it a battle, or a man, you'll know..."

But...I never know...

My body felt tired, and I knew I was quickly losing to the call of sleep, but one last thing had to come out of my mouth before I drifted away. One question I never thought I would ever say out loud, even though it had passed through my mind plenty of times during my girlhood.
"Winnie...why couldn't have you been my dad..?"

His long, drawn out sigh was what covered me with the blanket of sleep, and I curled closer into his torso as I surrendered to rest.

"Indeed...Sleep tight, (Y/N)...You've got a long road ahead..."

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***Daddy Brows but not fetish-y***