"How long has it been since you actually slept, (Y/N)..?" Sasha asked me as she trotted her horse up to my side, a look of worry on her face as she watched me. It was understandable, seeing as I was basically laying on my mount's neck.

"Uh...I dunno...not much since we got framed..." I yawned, grip lose on the reins. "I'm good, though. Never felt better in my whole entire life." Obviously that was a lie. Keeping my eyes open was making them water, and my limbs felt like lead.

"Why not switch out with me and take a quick nap? My back's starting to hurt from sitting in here, anyway." Connie suggested, stretching his arms up over his head.
"I agree. We need you in top form." Mikasa added from the opposite side of the cart we had obtained.

Shaking my head, I pushed myself to straighten up, but my shoulders remained slumped. The ache was still ever present.
"Doubt I could sleep. I'd feel gross after a nap, anyway. Always do." That was the truth, at least. If it wasn't a full night of sleep, I felt disgusting when I woke up. Seemed more often than not, these days.

"Get your ass off that horse before I kick it off." Levi called from over his shoulder, though I couldn't quite see his face in the dark.
"Kick it, then. Maybe it'll give me a little boost." I snarked back, though it was flat.

Sleeping was difficult. It had been for a while, but after I had shot that woman, it had gotten even harder. It was like slipping into a deeper level of shit every time I closed my eyes.
"Don't be stubborn. What the hell are we gonna do if you're too sleep deprived to fight, huh?" Jean asked, leaning over the edge of the cart and swatting at my arm.

Why the hell does it matter? Have I contracted main character disease, or something? Yeesh...

Sticking my tongue out at the lot of them, I decided to continue being stubborn, but they had other plans. I was too exhausted to fight back as Connie sprung onto my horse behind me, reaching around to direct it closer to the cart. Whining, I cursed at him a little as Hange and Jean dragged me down, only letting go when I quit mouthing off.

"There, now that's settled, get some sleep while you can!" Hange chirped, giving my head a quick pat before returning to Moblit's side to continue whatever conversation they had been having. Seated next to Jean, I groaned, leaning over and resting my hands between my face and knees.

"Why the hell are you always so difficult?" He asked with a sigh, and I raked my hands down my face, only to drag them back up.
"Beats me. It's just in my design..." I replied, rubbing my eyes to try and rid them of the sting. "You can't talk. You went against orders and ended up falling flat on your face...and getting the brains knocked out of you."

Both Sasha and Connie snickered as they rode along beside us, but the copperet just clicked his tongue.
"Oh, drop it already! If I hadn't, then we wouldn't be this far along!" He was right. Still, teasing him was fun.

"True...but it was still hilarious. You were trying so hard, it was almost cute." Glancing over at him, I caught the hue of his face changing in the flickering lantern light.
"G..go to sleep already..!" He nudged me with his knee, and I very nearly faceplanted into the floor of the carriage.

"No. Everytime I close my eyes I see her damn face...among others..." I didn't have the strength to get into a verbal battle with Jean, which said alot. Being on the run, murdering someone, the fear of Erwin's death and the relief of his release, it had all added up. I waa running on fumes.

It was incredibly late, or early. I had lost track of times hours ago. We couldn't have been all that far off from the Reiss estate by now, not that I knew where it even was. Sleeping seemed stupid.

"Fine, then talk with me. I'm bored." Jean's ploy was crystal clear. Talk my ear off until I fell asleep. He sorely underestimated me.
"Sure. I'll start. Why the hell do all the men have such stupid haircuts? I mean  undercuts? Party at the top, business at the bottom? Really? Don't even get me started on that bowl cut guy...yikes. Hate to say it, but Eren's hair is at least palatable. I mean-"

"I said with me, not at me." Jean interjected, pouting like a child. "My hair looks great, anyway...but I do agree about Marlo. Poor son-of-a-bitch." Meeting his eyes for a moment, I began to snicker, and he joined me. It was nice, just talking. We hadn't really had much of a chance to do that in recent times.

"Okay, ever pissed yourself on the battlefield?" My question caused him to splutter, and both Hange and Moblit began to chuckle across from us.
"Oh, oh! I did! I was so excited, I just let out a little dribble!" The bespectacled woman revealed without so much as a hint of embarassment.
"It's true. I was there."

Jean leaned the elbow closest to me over the edge of the cart and scoffed, turning his nose to the air.
"I definitely haven't! Why? Have you?" Pushing the question back onto me, I shook my head, resting my cheek in my palm.
"Nah, but Petra and Oluo did. Eld told me..." My voice was soft as I trailed off into another yawn.

"O..oh..." I could tell he didn't want to continue speaking about Eld and my late squad, due to the sensitive nature, but I wasn't hurting as much as I had been.
"You kind of remind me of him, Jean." I started, quieter than before in hopes that only he could hear me. "It's your eyes. I'm not really sure what to make of it sometimes..."

My exhaustion was really catching up with me, and I shifted closer into his side, deciding to drop the stubborn act and lean my head against his shoulder. He stiffened beneath me, his intake of breath hitchy and uneven.
"Does...it upset you..?" He asked, sounding uncertain.

"Used to. I'm not really sure nowadays..." Another yawn, stronger than the last, caused my jaw to click, and I closed my eyes. "Hah. You're trapped now, Kirstein. Enjoy having a numb-ass shoulder..." My body seemed to relax even more when I felt his arm curl around me, albeit loosely.

"I can deal with that..." He murmured, carefully pulling the hem of my untucked shirt down so the skin of my waist wasn't exposed. I had slept on his shoulder before, so why did this feel different? Not thrilling, nor nerve-wracking, but just different.

I like it...

"I, uh, probably stink. Sorry..." He was being very out of character, but I wasn't complaining. It was nice when his softer side came out.
"I can't talk. I've had the same underwear on since we left home..." I replied, sounding half-asleep. "All of us probably smell like steeped shit..."

"You don't stink too bad." When I felt Jean's face lean into my hair, I stirred a little, barely cracking an eye open.
"Did you just...sniff me..?" Again, his body went rigid, and I could feel him shaking his head.
"Wh..what? N..no, I-"
"You totally just sniffed her. Saw it with my own two eyes" Connie cut in with a chuckle.

"Can confirm! A big ol' snort!" Hange piped up, sounding rather amused, followed by Moblit.
"Kind of reminds me of someone..." Smirking to myself, I listened to them laugh among themselves. I liked this. Normal stuff. Being human.

"Cut it out back there." Levi barked from further ahead, his tone screaming agitation. "We're not far off, so don't go slacking now." A chorus of acknowledgements and apologies rung through the night, but I stayed quiet, shifting to lift my legs up onto the seat and squish further back into my now flustered flesh pillow.

"Alright, well, wake me when we're close..." Settling down, I allowed myself to begin to doze off, hoping that it would do me some good.

"Uh...yeah...sure thing, (Y/N)..."

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***LEVI POV***

I should have had other things on my mind, but I couldn't help but focus on her.

Why was her current position agitating me so much? I was aware of my growing feelings towards (Y/N), of course, but I had no claim on her. So, why?

Jean was a good man, despite a few shortcomings, but my jealousy was beginning to rear its ugly head. I wanted her head on my shoulder. My arm around her. What was wrong with me?

This is ridiculous...

I would never interfere if that was what she chose. Honestly, it made much more sense. He was her age, and he had far less baggage. That was all I was these days. Baggage. The battle ahead only confirmed that.

Kenny The Ripper was someone I knew all too well, and with that knowledge came concerns. We were all at major risk this time, possibly more than we ever had been with titans, save for the piloted kind. Did I really want her to be thrown into such danger?

No, I didn't. Not in the slightest, but I didn't have much of a choice. (Y/N) was right there, behind me, and there was no way she would allow me to order her to do otherwise. It was something I both admired and despised about her.

Just let it go. She'll be fine. With or without you...

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***Soft moments before chaos.

Also, I ship Hanblit H A R D.

I have screencap redraws for the next few chapters...

Next Time: Shatter***