I knew the quadraped titan had been no good.

I had spotted it from a distance, and despite my instincts telling me to attack, I knew there was no possible way I could win. There was a man strapped to it's back, and he had been speaking to Eren, but their conversation had ceased by the time I had gotten close enough.

When I noticed both the titan and the mysterious man were looking towards the wall, I followed their gazes, gasping once I spotted the bloody, steaming solider, stepping and sliding down the inner side.

Levi..?!

When the enemies made a run for it, I gave them a wide birth, barely managing to land as my gas cannisters wheezed their final puffs. I took in the scene in front of me, throat growing dry. Bertholdt was in the same state as Reiner, limbless and defeated, but there was somebody else. Scorched, almost unrecognisable.

It was Armin.

"Hell yeah! Hell yeah! H..he's still breathing!" I ignored the sound of someone else landing behind me as I watched Eren lean over the boy's charred body. Bertholdt had done that? He still managed to survive? He was stronger than I had ever given him credit for.
"Th..that's Armin..?" Mikasa whimpered, moving to stand beside me, but we were ignored as Eren whipped his head around.
"Captain! Get the syringe!"

But...

Levi was crouched upon the roof, between us and them, adjusting his gear. There was so much blood soaking his body, it was still evaporating. When he realised he was being ignored, Eren grabbed Bertholdt and dragged him to his chest in a headlock.
"Turn Armin into a titan! Then we can have him eat Bertholdt!"

I heard the soft, exhausted sigh release from Levi's lips as he pulled the small case from his pocket, staring down at it with his hair cloaking his face.
"Right..." All I could do was stand there. Was this the right decision? I cared about Armin, too, but something wasn't sitting right. Where was everyone else?

It seemed that I was the only one to flinch when Mikasa set off a red signal flare, and I tilted my head, watching the smoke stream into the sky. What was it for? Did it have something to do with Reiner? Did I even care about that?

"L..Levi...Captain...I finally found you..." Slowly, my eyes fell down towards the new voice, and as I registered exactly what I was seeing, every single cell in my body turned to ice. "It's the Commander...He's hurt. His stomach is gouged, a..and his insides are all torn to shreds...The blood just won't stop! I thought that injection might be able to help him, but...what do you think..?"

No...

Floch didn't exist in my current world. Neither did Eren, Mikasa, or Levi. Just Erwin's horrifically still body, and that precious case. That world lasted for a lifetime, the shock, the confusion, but finally, I managed to shake myself out of it, racing to help the surviving recruit onto the roof.

Once we had the commander unstrapped and laying on his back, I could finally see it. There was so much blood. Too much. Through makeshift bandages, crimson continued to seep and spew, and the stench was already rancid. Such a terrifying metallic scent that was all too familiar.
"L..Levi..." It was all I could say, but he knew. He couldn't misinterperate what I was asking him for.

"Captain...Levi..?" Eren's voice was weak, and I barely heard it, only focusing on the dying man beneath me, and the form of the Captain moving to check his vitals.
"It's faint, but...he's breathing..." Levi murmured, retracting his hand and staring with such a heavy gaze. "Erwin, you're alive..."

We can save him...

The ravonet climbed to his feet, holding the box close to his chest, and I watched him closely.
"You know what has to happen. Erwin gets the shot." My adrenaline was on overdrive, so when I caught a glimpse of Eren moving out of my peripherals, I wasn't far behind, forcing myself between the two.

Eren's eyes were wild. Furious. Pained. I was sure mine were, too.
"You can't...You told me you'd use it on Armin..." He spoke through his teeth, and my lip curled back, twitching as I resisted the urge to cry.
"Back up, Jaeger..." It wasn't an order. It was a threat, through and through. If he was against Erwin's survival, then he was against me.

"I'm going to revive the person who can save humanity." Levi spoke in such a calm manner, but I could feel his arm against my back, quivering slightly. Upon hearing the scraping sound of steel, I too drew my blades, stepping around to find Mikasa ready to fight. I didn't stand a chance against her, but I'd do what I could. I had to. I wasn't losing anyone else. I had decided.

"Mikasa...Eren...give it up..." I was so hoarse, sounding as though I had gargled loose gravel. Neither of them made any move to cooperate.
"You two...Do you have any idea what you're doing..? It's Erwin. The commander of the scouts, and you're telling me to watch him die? There's no time for this. Just get out of my way."

He's right. We don't have time. I can finally change something. Save someone. I'm not giving up on him!

When Levi tried to move, Eren grabbed hold of the syringe case, and I panicked, slotting my blade in the space between them, grazing againt the skin of the boy's throat.
"L..let go..." I snarled, knuckles white and burning. "Give up on him, Eren..!"

His expression alone told me that was never going to happen. He'd sooner allow me to slice him open.
"Sorry, I can't do that. Tell me, Captain...why didn't you give Armin the injection right away..?" Why did he have to drag it on? I knew what Armin meant to him, but he was going to die.

"I was thinking about Erwin. Considering the slim chance that he might be alive." Levi replied, and I could see his dark, piercing stare in the reflective surface of my blade. I tuned out what they were saying, glancing over at the Commander. He was so pale. He looked like a corpse already, but he had to live. I would do everything in my power.

When I felt Eren began to pull harder at the syringe, I snapped. Lifting my leg, I used every ounce of strength I had to kick him in the stomach, uncaring of my own pain as he flew backwards. At the same time, Levi had thrown a punch to his face, and I barely had time to turn when Mikasa shrieked.

Everything was such a blur. She launched herself at the captain, pinning him to the rooftop with her blade close to his throat, and I screamed out. Racing up behind her, my blades dropped to drag behind me. I grabbed a fistful of her hair with one hand, yanking her back, and used the other to grab the blade, trying to keep it away from Levi.

It stung, and blood began to ooze from my palm, but I had to. The longer it took, the greater the risk there was of losing Erwin.
"You know as well as I do...without Erwin's leadership...humanity can't defeat the titans..!" Levi spoke to her, sounding much more urgent now. I was sure we were thinking the same thing.

"He's right, Mikasa! Don't be crazy!" Floch called out, still crouching on the sidelines by the commander. "There's too much at stake here!" I pulled against Mikasa's hair harder, feeling strands begin to pop from her scalp, but she wasn't relenting. I had to move my hand from her blade to her wrist, soaking her skin and sleeve with my own fresh blood.

"No...It's the same with Armin..." Eren announced, slowly dragging himself up from the edge of the roof. "He's just as important..." No. He wasn't. I refused to even consider it. "Think about what he's done...Taking back Trost with that boulder...He's the one who realised what Annie was..! It was him who said we could avoid the titans by coming here at night! He's the only reason we uncovered Reiner's hiding spot, and the only reason we defeated Bertholdt..!"

I don't care..!

"We only got this far because of Armin! I can't save humanity, and neither can the commander..! But Armin can..! Tell him, Mikasa..!" What was wrong with me? I wanted to kill him. I wanted to make him shut up for good. I couldn't deny that Armin had been a great asset, but he wasn't the Commander. He hadn't single handedly done what Erwin had.

"Please, Captain..! Just let go..!" When Mikasa slammed Levi's hand, along with the box, down to attempt to make him release it, I clawed into her scalp, feeling her struggle against me as I tried to pry her away.
"You're just being selfish..! Erwin's our leader..!" I hissed, silently appreciating Floch as he voiced his agreement with me.
"No, shut up!"

I will not..!

"Do you think you're the only ones who've suffered through all this?!" I grunted loudly as I forced my knee into her back, desperately trying to overpower her.
"Not that you asked...but on the other side of that wall, there's not a single soldier left alive..." Floch explained, gaining our momentary attention. "The Beast Titan threw crushed boulders at everyone...That field is soaked with the blood of my comrades...Commander Erwin was the only survivor I could find..."

He had to have known this would happen...

"Commander Erwin came up with a plan for us to strike back at the Beast Titan! My comrades were smashed to bits, just as he planned...I'm sure the last thing they felt...was fear...When I realised the Commander was still alive, I nearly finished him off myself...but then I recognised that would be a mercy..."

Floch closed his eyes and clenched his fists tight at his sides, taking a shaky breath.
"I thought to myself...that he ought to taste more of this hell...Suddenly, I understood..." Slamming his foot down, almost too close to Erwin's body, he looked to us with fierce,  fiery determination. "If we want to stand any chance against the titans, we need a devil..! I realised that's what Erwin is..! Get out of his way right now..!"

Floch must have had a death wish. When he lurched forward, Mikasa broke free of me, sacrificing a chunk of her hair, and very nearly sliced the ginger clean in two. It was only thanks to Hange that he survived. They had arrived, along with Jean and the others, and was holding Mikasa back.

They spoke amongst themselves, some quiet, some loud and pained, but once I saw Levi remove the syringe from the case, I kept my eyes on Eren. I understood what he was fighting for all too well. My reasons were selfish too, after all. Still, loyal or not, if he tried to intervene, I'd get in his way.

Eren...I get it. If I had this chance with Eld...Marco...Dimitri...everyone I've ever lost...then I'd do whatever I could...but give up. Armin would understand...

When the relentless boy crawled up and grabbed hold of Levi's ankle, I stepped down upon his wrist, blades ready if need be. I didn't want to kill him, and if I did, I'd likely be hung for it, but I was just as desperate.
"Captain...do you...know about...the sea..? It's like a lake, but enormous. So big that it stretches past the horizon, and it's...full of salty water...Armin told me-"

"Stop making this harder!" I pushed all my weight down upon his wrist, forcing him to let go, twisting my boot for no reason other than to quench my own anger.
"He..He said there was a sea beyond the walls..!" I only stepped off when Floch came to my aid, lifting the boy up and starting to haul him off. "He said we'd go there together..! That's been our dream since we were kids, o..only I forgot it a long time ago..! I wanna avenge my mother...I wanna butcher all the titans...the only thoughts left in my head are full of hate..! But...Armin's lost as much as I have...he just isn't like me!"

When Levi stood up, I turned to face him, stumbling slightly as my leg tried to give way.
"Everyone get out of here right now!" He barked his order, syringe raised skyward. "I don't want Erwin to eat one of you instead of Bertholdt!" Everyone began to slowly leave, whispering their farewells to Armin's charred husk, and I heaved a sigh of relief.

Thank God...

"You too. I have this handled, and you're close to collapse." I was ready to argue when Levi told me to leave, but something stopped me. His solemn expression. "Please." Hesitating, I looked down at Erwin, and then over to Armin. It hurt to say goodbye, but it was what had to happen. Finally, I glanced to Bertholdt, who was still out cold. I felt nothing.

"Alright..." Launching off, I joined the others several houses across, squatting down and rubbing at my face the moment I landed. I knew Eren and Mikasa would likely never forgive me, but I could live with that. It was a price worth paying.

"I don't think I've ever seen you that angry..." Jean murmured, his voice weak as he sat across from me.
"Yeah, well...I couldn't let any more mistakes be made..." My body was hurting all over, and was begging to shut down, but I couldn't let it. Not just yet. I had to be there for Erwin when he came to.

"Wait...he's walking away from the Commander..!"

My eyes grew wide as I leapt back to my feet and spun around, the purest of dread washing over me. Levi was indeed walking away from Erwin, syringe still in hand, heading towards Armin.

No...

"L..Levi..!" I started to race towards the edge, but someone grabbed hold of me from behind, their arms hooking under my own, keeping me in place. "No..! Levi, no..!" Kicking and flailing, not caring about the wound in my side reopening, or the searing pain from my old injuries, I fought against my captor, my pulse deafening me as Levi crouched down over the wrong person.

"(Y/N), stop..! Please..!" Connie pleaded with me, grunting as I lashed out in any way that I could. I was frantic. Terrified. So painfully confused. Why was this happening? What was Levi's problem?
"Levi, don't you fucking dare..! Levi..! No..! Levi, you fucking bastard..!"

Every part of my body fell limp when Armin's scorched body lit up, and I slowly sank down, Connie following me, hugging me around the middle. Hange and Floch raced to assist Levi in moving Erwin's body as Armin, now a titan, appeared from the steam, but I was unable to move.

No...Levi, why..? This isn't supposed to happen...

The absolute second they laid his body down, one house away, I broke free from Connie's arms, not even thinking to use my gear as I leapt across, skidding on my knees to the Commander and shoving Levi away.
"No...No no no no..!" I wasn't sure where to touch him, afraid he might break if I made any wrong moves. My hand, shaking and unsteady, caressed his paled face, my other taking his hand. "L..Levi...what have you done..?!"

He didn't answer me for the longest time, his breath heavy as he sat down beside us, Hange opposite.
"I'm so sorry..." That was it. No reason, no excuse. Just an apology that meant absolutely nothing to me. Tears flowing and near-blinding me, I focused on Erwin, squeezing his hand to let him know I was there.

"C..come on...You promised me...You promised we could go home after this..! Together..! Winnie, you promised..!" I sobbed, struggling to keep myself upright. "Wh..why would you do that if you knew..?! That's...that's cruel..! Why would you do that..?!"

I can't lose him. I can't lose him. I can't lose him. I can't...

Hanging my head, I squeezed my eyes shut, the usual warmth I felt from his skin fading fast.
"Please...Please don't leave me, Dad..! Dad..! Don't die on me..!" No loss had hurt this much. I had just found him, reconnected with him. I had finally found a parent who had cared about me. There had to be something I could do to save him.

"He...he's already gone, (Y/N)..." Hange's words hit my ears and sent a vile shockwave rolling down my spine. Snapping my head up, I looked into Erwin's eyes, choking back a violent sob when all I could see was emptiness. The commander, the man, the devil and the father inside of him had vanished for good.

I didn't care how loud I screamed and cried. I didn't care how much of his blood soaked into my clothes or skin as I collapsed onto him, clinging to him as though it would somehow bring him back to me. I was nothing but the damaged child I had always been, all hope and faith fading away with the colour of his face.

On the day Commander Erwin Smith died, a part of me went along with him...

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***So, yeah, how ya'll doing? :')

I know I said I was commissioning an artwork for this chapter, but I havent heard back from the artist after our initial messages, so I just went ahead and wrote it anyway without it.

I wanted this to be better, but I'm exhausted and decided to leave it as is in case I ruined it.

RIP Daddy Sasageyo

Next Time: Coagulate***