look at me actually letting Virgil’s room function like it should

Summary: verge is anxious, logan tries to help

I wonder what it's like writing with original ideas, I wouldn't know

Warnings: anxiety

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Virgil hurriedly walked into the mindscape’s living room, making Logan look up from his book, tearing his gaze from the page in the middle of a sentence. He looked pale, paler than usual that is. His dark eyes and the eyeshadow beneath them stood out more prominently against his skin.

After a moment of silent pacing Virgil finally spoke up, letting Logan know what the reason for his presence was.

"Where is Patton? I can’t find him." He wondered, biting his nails and overall looking like he wasn't feeling too well. So, Virgil was looking for Patton. Too bad Logan couldn't be of much help in that matter.

"Patton isn't here, he went with Roman to the imagination. But if you require any help then I will gladly do my best to be of assistance." Logan said, but Virgil looked at him reluctantly, not seeming tempted at all to let Logan help him. Virgil was always reluctant to ask anyone for help, but at least he usually had Patton.

"I- I just… I'm feeling anxious and Patton usually …helps calming me down." Virgil replied sheepishly, still pacing around in circles and looking like he didn't know what to do with himself. He was pulling at a piece of thread that had loosened from the sleeve of his hoodie and seemed to be quite distressed.

"I'll just… go to my room and wait until Patton comes back." And with that he sank out of the living room, before Logan was able to do as much as open his mouth to say anything.

Logan considered for a moment what he should do. He saw three possible options. Either he continued to read his book, leaving Virgil to deal with his anxiety himself, or he went and looked for Patton so that the fatherly trait could assist Virgil. Then of course he could go and see how Virgil was doing, himself.

The thought of leaving Virgil alone to deal with his anxiety himself gave Logan a bad feeling, he would not abandon Virgil when he might be in the need of assistance. Looking for Patton seemed like a waste of time, he had no idea where Patton and Roman were at the moment, they could be anywhere in the imagination and Logan might not even be able to locate their whereabouts.

The most reasonable suggestion seemed to be that he himself should attempt to be there for Virgil. Admittedly, he did not know much about the ways of calming Virgil down, but he could at least try, he would at least be able to provide slight comfort. And with that thought he left his book on the low table in front of the couch and sank out of the room after Virgil.

Virgil's room was very dark, it took Logan's eyes a couple of seconds to adjust and be able to see. He spotted Virgil, who was lying beneath a blanket, not on his bed, but on the floor in front of the bed. He was lying with his back towards Logan, so he doubted that Virgil was aware of the fact that he wasn't alone in his room anymore.

"Virgil?" Logan called carefully, hoping not to startle him. It didn't work, Virgil visibly flinched and jumped up, turning around towards Logan in a mere second.

"What are you doing in my room!" Virgil yelled, his voice deep and distorted, he actually sounded quite frightening and Logan found himself shivering, feeling very unwelcome here at the moment.

"You seemed to be in the need of assistance and I thought… maybe I could help..?" Logan said, quickly becoming unsure if it had been a good idea to come to Virgil's room after all. Maybe Virgil did not want him here and he was just making things worse? What if he tried to help and caused Virgil to have an anxiety attack?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. But you left before you told me what was causing you to feel anxious, and I want to help you," he rambled, not entirely sure he was making any sense, "but now you just seem angry and I apologize if I have made things worse."

"Logan you need to get out of here!" Virgil shouted, a hint of panic in his voice.

"I apologise, I didn't mean to bother-" He began, but Virgil grabbed him by the arm and he dragged him out of his room, closing the door behind the both of them. Outside of Virgil's room Logan could practically feel the worries he had felt disappearing, or at least most of them. Touching with his fingertips underneath his eyes he saw that there was black smudged on them.

"You idiot," Virgil said angrily, still with a tight grip around Logan's arm, "coming into my room like that? Such a stupid-"

"That happened quick." Logan said, regaining most of his calm and attempting to rub away the eyeshadow that had appeared beneath his eyes. The last time he had entered Virgil's room it had taken much longer for him to be overwhelmed by the rooms anxious 'aura'.

"Well, it’s not a terribly good idea to come into my room when you are worried and while my anxiety is already heightened, what did you think was going to happen?" Virgil snapped, then closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep, calming breaths.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to yell, sorry I freaked out on you. I just…" He gave Logan a helpless glance.

"Patton is really good at calming me down, but if he's not here then I'll just deal with it alone. It's bad enough that I bother Patton when I'm anxious, I don't want to be a burden to you too." He muttered, letting go of Logan’s arm and hugging himself tightly.

"Virgil, you are not a burden, and it saddens me that you think you are. I want to help you." Logan said, feeling as if someone was squeezing his heart. It was illogical that it would hurt him that Virgil thought of himself as a burden. He chose not to focus on that now.

"No, it's fine, you can continue to read your book. I'll be alright." Virgil tried, but Logan just shook his head, wrapped an arm around Virgil's shoulders and led the reluctant Virgil back into the living room.

"Now, tell me what is wrong and I will attempt to help you. I do not want you to feel worried and uneasy, it will affect both you and Thomas in a negative way." Logan said, seeing how Virgil avoided looking at him, still hugging himself and chewing on his lip. Then he looked at Logan, and with a sigh he opened his mouth to speak. He must've realized Logan was not going to leave him alone until he was feeling better.

"Mainly there are two things that are stressing me out right now. I will speak about one of them," Virgil began, and Logan opened his mouth to protest, but Virgil cut him off, "only one of them."

Virgil sat down on the couch with a sigh, his gaze flickering from Logan's face and down to his hands. "Okay. You know this play he got a role in? I know you don't care much for the acting and the theatre and stuff, but it's a pretty big role and I just… if we screw this up in any way then that will ruin the whole play, and he has so many lines, how is Thomas going to remember all of that? It's stupid, I know, but I've been overthinking it for a week now and I feel like death."

Logan tilted his head, observing Virgil who was now staring at the wall opposite of them.

"I am certain that it will be alright. Have things gone wrong before? Yes. Did that ruin the whole play? It did not. Also, you know how seriously Roman takes all of this theatre business, he spends days and nights making sure Thomas' rehearse all his lines. Do you remember when Patton had to force him to go to bed and get a healthy amount of sleep? Roman does all he can for everything to go well, I assure you that there is no need to worry."

"Even if something would go wrong it will not be the end to his acting, he will still audition for roles, it won't be the end of the world." Logan continued, not knowing if this was helpful, but hoping that his words brought a little comfort.

"Yeah... thanks, Logan. That actually made me feel a bit better." Virgil said, letting a tiny smile show on his face as he gave Logan a glance.

"So do you still think that I will be unable to help you with your other problem?" Logan asked, and to his surprise Virgil just laughed quietly at that question, he didn't understand why it would be so impossible for him to be able to help.

"Sorry, Logan, you can't help me with that."

"But Patton can?" Logan questioned, before he actually had the time to realize that his question might make him seem insensitive since his tone had been a bit too harsh. Virgil looked at him, surprised at his words, but luckily he did not seem to take any offense.

"No. No, actually Patton cannot help me with it either. But he understands... He understands my feelings, which isn’t strange since he deals with a lot of feelings too." Virgil pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his forehead against them and closing his eyes.

"I have more feelings than you seem to think." Logan said, slightly hurt over the fact that Virgil seemed to assume that there was no chance that Logan could possibly understand him. He had far more experience with feelings than he wanted.

"It has to do with romantic feelings, I don't suppose you have any experience in that area?" Virgil said, but Logan just nodded, despite the fact that Virgil wasn't looking at him.

"More than you'd think, actually." Logan said, smiling sadly at Virgil, who was still sitting with his knees to his chest, face buried in his arms and not looking at Logan. But when he heard what Logan said he lifted his head up, looking at him in surprise.

"Oh? So who are you, the ever so stoic logic, hopelessly crushing on?" He asked with a small smile that failed to really look amused. Logan only looked at him, letting his eyes linger on Virgil for several seconds in silence, before shrugging and looking away.

"Doesn’t matter, does it?" He said silently, his lips curling into an ironical smile at the thought. Doesn’t matter. It mattered. It mattered more than anything else, his feelings for the side in front of him. But he couldn't tell Virgil that, it'd just make him uncomfortable.

"So, who could you possibly have romantic feelings for, hm?" Logan said, before Virgil had the time to ask again. He actively pretended that he didn't wish Virgil would say his name, he pretended it didn't hurt to think that Virgil was in love with someone else.

"No offence, but, none of your business." Virgil said, smiling at him again before sighing deeply and leaning back into the sofa cushions.

"You know. Strangely enough, I do feel a bit better talking to you. Not that I'm getting anywhere with my problem, but you're good at distracting me." Virgil then said, reaching out and touching Logan's arm in a sort of thankful gesture. Logan ignored as the skin felt as if it burned and he swallowed down the urge to tell Virgil every little detail about his feelings.

"I am glad I could make things easier to bare with." He said quietly, his heart feeling lighter when hearing that Virgil was feeling calmer and that he had been of some assistance.

"You always do." Virgil said, then pushing his lips together tightly, into a thin line, as if he hadn't meant to actually say that. Logan felt a smile force its way out to his lips, he couldn't help it. It took him a few seconds to be able to remove the smile from his face.

"I'm always here if you need me. No matter what it might be you need me for." Logan said, staring out in the air and not allowing himself to look at Virgil.

"Thank you." Virgil murmured. Logan still wasn't looking at him, so he couldn't see if Virgil was smiling or not.

He should leave, Virgil was causing him to act foolishly. Yet he didn't move a centimeter. He felt that if he left now he would lose the chance to just… be close to Virgil. It was rare that they had time alone to sit down and talk like this. Logan never knew how to invite Virgil to any sort of social interaction. They sat in silence for a while, somehow without it being uncomfortable or awkward. Though Virgil's mind seemed to wander and he looked to be deep in thought. He was biting his nails and now and then glancing towards Logan.

Logan didn't want to bother him, but he heard Virgil take quite a shaky breath and looked at him. Virgil was now pressing his hands against his thighs, but it did not conceal that they were trembling slightly.

"Virgil, are you feeling alright? It seems your anxiety has yet again spiked. Is there anything else you I can assist you with?" He asked, letting his hand gently rest on Virgil’s thigh.

"N- well..." Virgil took a deep breath, closing his eyes and leaning back against the sofa cushions. "There's one thing, but I can't seem to tell you about it, I've actually wanted to a few times, and it's like I am unable to say the words."

"Some things are hard to say, and I do not want to pressure you in any way, feel free to tell me whenever you're comfortable enough to." Logan said carefully, hoping that Virgil would know that he was there for him whenever he might need him.

"I appreciate that." Virgil mumbled, then after another moment of silence he seemed to have made a decision, because he spoke up again.

"Can I come with a weird question? It has to do with that other thing." Virgil asked, then yet again opening his mouth to speak before Logan had the chance to respond. "And if my question is dumb, or out of line, can we just… pretend that I never asked it in the first place?"

"Of course, ask anything. And do not worry, I will not try to make you uncomfortable or use it against you in any way, I am not cruel, and I am certain you would not ridicule me for asking you something, no matter how 'dumb' the question was." He said, and Virgil nodded, once again staring at Logan’s hand that was still placed on his knee. He did not speak but Logan stayed quiet, suspecting that Virgil would ask whatever it was he wanted to ask when he felt ready to do so.

"Can I kiss you?" Virgil eventually managed to get out, his voice was more high pitched than it usually was, but that was nothing that Logan focused on. As soon as his brain took the question in everything seemed to stop, maybe he even stopped breathing in the middle of an inhale, he doesn't care. Virgil just asked permission to kiss him.

To kiss him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Virgil began, and Logan realized he'd just been staring at him for the last seven seconds, and he finally managed to find his voice.

"Yes. Yes you can kiss me." Logan said, before Virgil had the time to end his sentence. Virgil blinked, then apparently he didn't see any point in them just staring at each other any longer, because he leaned in, placing a hand on Logan's cheek and softly pressing his lips to Logan's. Suddenly the only thing that mattered in the world, and the only thing that he could focus on, was how their lips moved together and how much softer Virgil's lips was than he had thought they'd be. Then they parted, Virgil pulling back slightly, and Logan had to will his brain to catch up with what was happening.

"We won’t be pretending that nothing happened and that you never asked, right?" Logan asked after a second or three. Virgil let out a short breathy laugh.

"I hope not." He said, then pressing another kiss to Logan's lips. This kiss was short, but it was just as gentle as the last one. Logan missed the feeling as soon as Virgil pulled back. He was tempted to pull Virgil closer and kiss him again, but a thought hit him before he had the time to do so.

"Was I at fault for your heightened anxiety?" Logan asked softly, taking Virgil's hand in his.

"No, not you, just my feelings for you, because I was sure there wasn't a chance that you liked me back." Virgil said sheepishly, not taking his eyes off of Logan.

"Well, you were incorrect. I have had feelings for you for longer than I'd like to admit." Logan said, entwining their fingers and watching as Virgil grew flustered and tried to fight a smile. It was, to say the least, very adorable.

"I'm glad I was wrong." Virgil said, still with a smile tugging at his lips, and he looked up, meeting Logan's gaze. They stayed like that, holding hands, and after a while of talking they put on some show Virgil liked.

At least until they heard Patton and Roman get back, then they let go of the others hand. But if the other two noticed Virgil and Logan sitting a little too close, well, they didn't mention it.

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Written: 1st, 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th July & 31st October & 1st November 2018
Published: 14th November 2018
Words: 3119

You guys are always so kind :D your comments make me smile <3

I am continuously baffled by the amount of love these fics receive

I reread my first analogical fic yesterday and well, it's not awful, but it's neat to know that my writing has improved a little bit at least lol

Also can my dad sometimes not complain that I'm on my phone, it upsets me and makes me feel bad for doing something that brings me joy, like writing :)