This oneshot is a whole train wreck but that's okay

I hope you're having a good day

(19th october) my mom just hugged me for like 30 seconds or more. She's started hugging me before I leave for school, idk why but I'm certainly not complaining

Warnings: swearing (as always), disaster gays™ like wow

U know what, ima name this oneshot Disaster Gays

--

"Patton?" Logan knocked on his door, it only took a few seconds before the door opened to reveal the happy dad-like trait. He smiled brightly at Logan, who was already feeling as if this might not have been such a good idea after all.

"Logan! What can I help you with?" He said happily, always loving it when the other sides came to him to talk. Logan stepped inside the other sides room and closed the door behind them, he did not want anyone else to hear this conversation. Hell, he didn't even really want Patton to hear it.

"I have a question, regarding a weird topic, but something told me that you might be able to clarify this." The only reason why he was actually coming to someone for help was that he was so done with being confused that if he did not get clarity he might scream.

"Alright, I'll do my best to help you. Ask away." Patton said, giving Logan an approving and encouraging look.

"Patton, is it possible to... become addicted to another person?" He asked silently, rethinking yet again if it was actually such a good idea for him to come to Patton with such stupid questions. But the internet had not provided him with any answers though, at least not answers that he trusted or understood, and he needed to figure this out.

"What do you mean kiddo?" Patton said, just looking confused. Oh, great. His hands felt a bit clammy and he rubbed them nervously against his jeans. How would he explain this?

"Is it possible to become addicted to another person?" He asked again, slower this time. He supposed he had to give Patton more context if he was going to be of any help, as he needed all the facts when conducting an experiment.

"When I am around... uh, this person, my heartbeat speeds up and I feel weird. I have also discovered that my pupils dilate. And when this person is not around I keep thinking of them and needing their presence. These are symptoms of addiction." He explained, feeling very frustrated when Patton just sat there and stared at him instead of saying anything.

"Well?!" He said, really not liking the silence and the way Patton's eyes were twinkling, as if this was amusing to him, or made him very happy.

"Logan..." Patton began, seeming to speak very carefully as if he was a little bit scared of how Logan would react to his words.

"I think you are experiencing romantic attraction towards someone." He finished and now it was Logan who just sat and stared at Patton.

"But I guess you could call that being addicted to another person." Patton said and laughed, but stopped when Logan didn't laugh with him.

"No... that's not- fuck." Was all Logan said, realizing that that was the answer to his problems that made the most sense. At least he was glad that Patton was not laughing at him, teasing him over his feelings or scolding him for swearing. It was all so obvious now, of course that was what was going on.

"How do I get rid of it?" Logan then asked, hoping he did not sound as scared as he felt. He certainly had not asked to, against all odds, develop romantic feelings for one of his closest friends. This might be the worst thing that had ever happened to him. He had not got a clue how he was supposed to deal with this. At least it turned out to be the right choice to turn to Patton, he had in fact been able to provide him with answers.

"You cannot, sorry, Logan." Patton said, and Logan immediately regretted his previous thought.

"There has got to be a way to make the feelings stop?" Logan continued, knowing damn well that love did not work like that. But, hell, he was desperate. He needed a way to get rid of these feelings, because it couldn't possible end well for him to feel this way, could it?

"Sadly you'll have to wait and see if the feelings fade with time." Logan just groaned and dragged a hand through his hair, looking utterly dejected.

"What am I supposed to do about it?"

"Well, I guess the only thing you really can do about it is tell the person you have feelings for how you feel about them." Patton said, sympathetically patting Logan on his shoulder, probably already suspecting what the answer would be.

"That is not going to happen." Logan said with emphasis, shaking his head and pressing his lips together stubbornly. There was not a chance that he would tell Virgil that he was dumb enough to feel there kinds of feelings for him.

"Do you want to just pine after him instead?" Patton asked, and Logan felt a wave of defeat watch over him.

"I don't even want to feel this way, I'm logic, and this is not beneficial for anyone."

"It's just feelings, Logan, it'll be alright if you talk about them with someone you trust." Patton said. Since he had to deal with all the feelings that Thomas felt he must think that Logan is behaving pathetically at the moment. Logan didn't care.

"No, no. It is not just feelings. This is the worst thing that could've possibly happened. I am not supposed to have to deal with such things as love. I am not equipped for this." He said, hearing himself that the tone in his voice was beginning to sound hysteric. He pushed his lips together, not wanting to have a whole breakdown in front of Patton. Instead he stood up and said the next sentence as calmly as he could.

"Well, if you need me I'm going to be in my room, feeling very upset." Logan said, leaving Patton to just roll his eyes at how dramatically he was acting. Logan did not care if he was acting like a child, right now he felt as lost as a kid that had been abandoned at the mall.

Entering his room he just slammed the door shut, glad to let some of his frustration out. He sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh, looking out at his room. He fell backwards onto the bed, curling up in a ball, staring at a wall while pouting. He was incredibly angry at himself for allowing something like this to happen.

--

He was still laying in that position, staring at the same part of the wall a few hours later, when he heard his door being opened. It was surprising how he could lie there and spend hours thinking, and yet having come up with nothing that could solve his problem. He could hear his door being closed again, which either meant he was alone again, or someone was in his room.

"Hey, Logan. How are you?" A voice said, and Logan knew exactly who it was. Well, what did he expect? With his luck of course the person to come and check up on him would be Virgil.

"Suffering." He muttered, not making any attempt to roll over and actually look at Virgil. He wasn't really the person that Logan wanted to have to face at the moment.

"Why?"

"No reason at all." He said, fairly calmly.

"Look, Patton told me-" Virgil began, making a wave of panic hit Logan on full force and he rolled over and sat up, staring right at Virgil.

"WHATEVER HE SAID WASN'T TRUE!" He said loudly, instantly realizing that that wasn't the best way to react, it did not make it seem like he was speaking the truth. Virgil looked as scared as Logan felt. But Virgil soon forced that expression away and sat down next to Logan on the bed.

"Hey, hey, don't worry, he just said that you were in a bad mood. Patton wouldn't tell anyone your secrets." Virgil said, holding his hands up as if he was surrendering.

"Oh, I guess in that case what he said was the truth." Logan mumbled, burying his face in his hands and sighing.

"You know, I'm no expert, no wait I am, but you don't seem like you are in a bad mood. You just seem, well, anxious. Fearful." Virgil said, making Logan grunt. Perfect, just what he needed. Virgil knowing exactly how he felt was probably his biggest nightmare right now.

"I am not scared." He lied, refusing to look at Virgil. Instead he stared intensely at a pencil that was lying on his floor.

"If you say so." Virgil said calmly, clearly not believing a word he said. How he was so calm Logan did not know. They could switch roles, he was behaving more like anxiety than Anxiety himself was. Virgil cautiously looked at him, then inched a bit closer and seemed to want to place his hand on Logan's shoulder.

He cringed away from Virgil, not wanting to touch him, just sitting this close to Virgil was making him feel weird and uneasy. The last thing he wanted was for Virgil to figure out what kinds of feelings he had for him. It would make Virgil hate him, and he didn't want that, god, he did not want that.

Virgil let out a tiny sigh, lowering his hand again.

"If you decide you want some help with how to deal with fear, then my door is always open. As anxiety I know a lot about the subject." Virgil said, just patting Logan's shoulder lightly, in a way that was supposed to be comforting, but only made Logan's whole arm tingle. Then Virgil stood up again and left Logan's room.

God damn it, Patton was right wasn't he? If he ever wanted to do anything about his feeling then telling Virgil was his only option. He'd tell him, hope for the best, then be rejected. Maybe the plan needed a bit of working on, but it was the best he'd got.

That only left Logan with one question though; ...how the fuck would one go about talking about his feelings? He sure as hell didn't know how to do that.

--

"I... I need you to answer a question for me." Logan said, two whole weeks later, because apparently that's how long he needed to prepare himself for as much as asking Virgil a question.

"Alright, shoot." Virgil said, locking the screen on his phone and sitting up.

"...I don't have a gun. And why would I shoot?"

"Update your vocabulary cards, I meant ask away." Virgil said with a small snort, and Logan cleared his throat. This was going great already.

"Okay so I need advice... if you were told by someone that they were in love with you, how would you want them to tell you?" Logan awkwardly asked, hoping that Virgil at least wouldn't ask why he wanted to know that.

"You're in love? That's why you were panicking before? Why you've been acting so weird for the past two weeks?" Virgil asked, surprise clear in his voice.

"I wasn't- Please just answer the question." Logan begged, really not wanting to speak about this for much longer.

"Oh, well... I haven't really thought about it, because no one could ever love me, but if anyone were to tell me the loved me then I'd want them to be blunt and clear about it, otherwise my anxiety will surely just convince me they just meant something else or I just dreamt it all up." Virgil said, shrugging slightly. Logan nodded, that made sense. He would also appreciate it if the person who told him they loved him was blunt so that he could not misunderstand them. But the fact that Virgil thought no one could love him made Logan's heart ache.

"That makes sense." Was all he said, sincerely hoping that Virgil did not find his question suspicious. He wouldn't want Virgil to ask why he would want to know such a thing, because he had not thought out an answer to that question that would not reveal more about his intentions than he'd like.

The only problem with this revelation was that he now knew he would have to gather enough courage to walk right up to Virgil and tell him he loved him. How he was supposed to do that he didn't know, maybe he should ask Patton for more guidance.

--

"Patton, I require your expertise." Logan said. It had been a few days since he talked to Virgil, and he had tried to postpone this for as long as he could, just because this brought him closer to actually talking to Virgil, and it was so impossibly frightening, he didn't want to be rejected yet.

"Yeah?" Patton said, not looking up from his book.

"Suppose I was to actually tell Virgil about my inconvenient feelings for him... how would I go about doing that?" Logan said, staring down at the floor with a feeling of defeat. He could practically hear Patton's head snap up and when he glanced at him Patton was smiling brightly, looking like he was already making a mental list of advice.

"First of all I'd advice you to not call your feelings 'inconvenient', I do not think that'd help in any way. Honestly, if you really want to tell him, then the first thing you need to do is to accept that you feel this way about him. ..If you manage to hurt my son I will come for you." Patton said, his voice lowering warningly at the last part. Logan pulled a chair up and sat down so that he was sat in front of Patton's bed, facing him.

"I don't really want to tell him, it feels more like I have to. Before I actually go insane," Logan muttered, burying his face in his hands and groaning, "I don't know what to do with myself when I am around him, and I feel like everything I do is the wrong thing to do. The last thing I want is to hurt him, but I do not even know how I am supposed to accept my feelings. My existence would be so much easier if I wasn't in love with Virgil."

He sighed and let his hands fall into his lap, refusing to meet Patton's compassionate eyes.

"I haven't got a clue how to deal with this. Please help me, you are the one who understands feelings the best." He begged. Logan did not want to screw this up completely, at least not more than he actually was, and for that he needed Patton's help.

"Of course I will help you in any way I can." Patton said.

"Thank you," Logan said, honestly being grateful for Patton wasting his time on trying to help him, "I think my biggest problem is being able to gather up enough courage to tell him that I love him. I am a coward, I'm good at math and reading, not telling the man I have feelings for that I love him."

"Well, Logan. I can't really help you with that. I can of course give you advice, but you will have to manage the part about speaking to Virgil yourself." Patton said, as if he actually thought that was something that Logan would be able to do.

"Then I am screwed." Was the only thing that Logan said after that, then shutting up and listening as Patton gave him some advice.

--

Logan entered the mindscape's living room, because that's where he knew that Virgil was, and he needed to speak to him. He was going to tell him... how he felt. Maybe, if he could manage it. He had to.

"Hey nerd, what's up?" Virgil said, sending him a tiny smile, that was almost a smirk, which made Logan's brain shortcut. All the advice that Patton had given him about how to best approach Virgil about his feelings? Gone.

"Are you okay?" Virgil asked, sounding slightly concerned, and Logan knew he had to say something, and he had to let Virgil know of his feelings, somehow.

"I love you." Logan blurted out, internally screaming when realizing what he had said. He cursed his brain for not functioning properly when talking to Virgil. Maybe he could have started off at least a little less blunt.

"What?" Virgil said with a clear tone of confusion and what Logan thought was suspicion, he couldn't really tell all that well. He took a few deep calming breaths, trying to calm his nerves to not freak out. Having a nervous breakdown here and now would not be helpful.

"I love you," Logan repeated, slower this time, he didn't know what else to say.

"I have romantic feelings for you." He continued, clarifying it even more, but Virgil only looked at him, not responding for several seconds.

"That... that isn't funny." Virgil then said, and Logan felt as if Virgil's eyes sent shards of ice at him, then Virgil walked out of the room. Logan only stared at Virgil in confusion until he was fully out of view. He only knew what to do during the case of rejection or the slim chance of Virgil feeling the same.

How he was supposed to respond to this he had no clue, because had Virgil even given him an answer?

--

"Well, that didn't work!" Logan said, bursting into Patton's room without even knocking. He sat down on the chair in front of Patton's bed, where he had sat the last time he was in here. Logan needed more advice, and he needed Patton to explain what he should do next. He didn't even care that he seemed to have walked in on Patton making out with Roman, even if this was the first time he had seen them together in such a way. They must've tried to hide it from him, not that he cared at the moment.

"Okay Logan, what went wrong?" Patton said, not moving from where he was straddling Roman on the bed.

"Hi, Logan." Roman said, and Logan gave him a short, acknowledging, nod. He didn't have time for any small talk, he needed answers.

"I told him I loved him, he said 'what', so I repeated what I said, I clarified that I liked him in a romantic way. He just said 'that isn't funny' and walked away. I do not understand." Logan complained, ignoring Roman's confused questions about what was going on.

"Well, he must think it was some sort of joke or something. Keep in mind that we are talking about the embodiment of anxiety here, maybe he thought you were just playing some sort of cruel joke on him." Patton explained and Roman nodded as if to say he agreed with what Patton was saying.

"Right. Thank you. I apologize for interrupting you, go back to making out, or whatever it was you were doing before I burst in here." Logan said, standing back up, turning around on the spot and walking towards the hallway. Behind him he could hear Roman mumble something to Patton about locking the door.

He found himself outside of Virgil's room far too soon, he stood by Virgil's door, not knocking, only rehearsing what to say in his head. Logan did not really have a plan, he just needed to convince Virgil that he was being honest and hopefully then Virgil would tell Logan if he felt the same or not.

With a deep breath he knocked on Virgil's door, waiting a few seconds before the door opened, revealing Virgil who had a dark purple blanket over his shoulders.

"Virgil, please allow me to speak to you." Logan said, trying to not sound like he was begging.

"If you're here to continue what you we're saying before then-" Virgil began, but Logan cut him off.

"Do you think I was joking? Or lying?" He asked. Virgil stared at him, then nodding slowly.

"Of course, and I don't appreciate such jokes. It is not funny in any way."

"But I'm not. I'm not joking. And I'm not lying. I really do love you, and I'd appreciate it if you believed me, because it has taken me about three weeks to even accept my feelings for you." Logan said, folding his arms over his chest as if that'd protect him in case Virgil's response was bad.

"You- you can't be serious." Virgil said, in sheer disbelief and doubt, as if that was something that was impossible.

"Why not?" Logan asked, feeling confused and a bit hurt that Virgil wasn't taking his feelings seriously, especially as these feelings were so hard for him to talk about, or even admit.

"Because I'm Anxiety. No one can love anxiety." Virgil said, as if it was something obvious that everyone knew. It made Logan's chest hurt, how sincere Virgil sounded. Did he really believe that?

"So what? I am Logic, I don't even believe I'm supposed to be able to fall in love, yet here we are." Logan said, his voice trembling slightly at the end of the sentence.

"If you do not feel the same for me, I will accept that. But I will not accept that you think my feelings for you are untrue." Logan continued, trying his damned hardest to keep his voice steady. Virgil stood silent, and they just looked at each other, Logan doesn't know for how long. Then Virgil lowered his gaze, looking at the floor before looking back up. He bit his lip, then finally he spoke.

"I do though, I feel the same. I have been in love with you for months. But I'm... scared." Virgil said. Fear over ones feelings were something Logan could understand, finally, something he had knowledge about.

"So am I, I'm absolutely terrified of the things you make me feel. But it is better to be scared together than to be scared alone, is it not? I think we would benefit from staying together, because... because somehow I've fallen heads over heels in love with you, and I don't know what else I could do than to ask you to be my boyfriend." Logan said, reminding himself that breathing is a good thing to do, even if he was still scared of how Virgil would respond.

"Okay, I would like that." Virgil said, nodding slowly. Logan smiled lightly, a small grin that Virgil returned, and for the first time since he realized his feelings for Virgil he felt hopeful for what was to come. It was clear that the both of them were disasters when it came to feelings, but as they closed the gap between them and shared a slightly awkward first kiss, that didn't seem to matter that much, and maybe it'd be possible for the two of them to work this whole thing out.

--

Written: 9th, 10th, 11th, 18th, 22nd June & 30th August & 12th September 2018
Published: 19th October 2018
Words: 3929

"He just said 'That's not funny' and walked away" prompt

Hey! Do I have your attention? Good.

It is possible that the next oneshot might be a bit late, but hopefully not

Just wanted to tell you that