It's actually surprising that this is the first one shot I write where Roman and Patton are a thing too because that ship is honestly so cute hahah (k, all the ships are cute, though analogical is my fave)

You, reading my fics: that doesn't make sense
Me, sweating nervously: uhhh, my fanfic my rules

Summary: So what if Logan and Virgil had to share a bed? And lets add some nightmares to that too.

Trigger Warnings: nightmares & maybe panic attacks? But it's overall fluffy, don't worry.

THIS IS LONG AF, 14893 WORDS

--

Patton had convinced them all to go away for a weekend on a short vacation. Virgil supposed that a few days off would only do them good, they had been working hard lately and deserved a break. So Virgil, Patton, Roman and Logan we're currently in the lobby of a hotel near a beach. There was just one problem.

"What do you mean there's only two rooms left?" Patton gasped, questioning the woman who sat behind the desk. She gave them an apologetic smile.

"There was a problem with our website. You booked three rooms but there are only two rooms available. You will of course get your money back if you choose to leave." She said politely. Virgil frowned, Patton would certainly not want them to abandon their plans for the weekend. He had been very excited about this and talked a lot about what they would do down on the beach during the days. And they had taken a flight to here so going home wasn't really an option. But if they stayed that meant that they would have to share rooms.

Patton pulled the three others aside so they could discuss the topic in peace. Both Patton and Roman agreed, they wanted to stay. That didn't surprise Virgil at all, since they would have shared a bed anyways. But the two looked at Logan and Virgil, asking if they were okay with staying. Because if they did it meant that they would have to share a bed too. Patton smiled hopefully at the two of them and Virgil wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to stay too, the beach looked nice and he loved the ocean but... He glanced over at Logan who looked completely neutral. It was always impossible to read his face.

"What do you say? You'll only have to share a bed for two nights, and friends share beds all the time!" Patton said the last part while looking at Virgil and he understood that he must look as nervous as he felt. Patton was right though, Virgil wouldn't have too much of a problem with sleeping in the same bed as one of his friends. It's just the small issue that Virgil happened to feel more than platonic love towards the logical nerd. What if he said something weird in his sleep? What if he woke up cuddled to Logan?

He couldn't control what he did in his sleep and if any of that happened Virgil would just have to jump out of a window in embarrassment, there was no other solution. This wasn't the only reason for his hesitation though, he had more problems with it, but before Virgil had time to come up with a good excuse to why they should go back home Logan spoke up.

"Since the both of you-" he pointed to Roman and then Patton "-seem to be so enthusiastic over this then it would be an acceptable arrangement." He said, pushing his glasses up a bit, still showing no sign of dislike nor thrill over the thought of the bed sharing. The fact that Virgil couldn't tell what Logan thought of the idea of sleeping next to him was slightly nerve-racking. What if he actually despised the idea of having to be forced to sleep so close to Virgil and had just agreed to do it to not upset Patton and Roman?

Patton and Roman cheered at Logan's response and went up to the woman to say that they were staying. Virgil grabbed his backpack that he had put down on the floor while talking. They were only going to be here for such a short amount of time that everything he wanted to bring fit nicely into his black backpack. He carried it on his back as the woman showed them to the two rooms that were theirs. While Logan placed his luggage on a chair in a corner of the room Virgil looked around the small space they would have to share. At least the bed was big, they could make a wall with pillows so that there would be no accidental cuddling.

He carefully placed his backpack on the floor, he had his computer inside it and didn't want to break it by being reckless. The room had two windows and from them you could see the beach and the ocean, it was a beautiful view. The room was connected to a bathroom too, it had both a shower and a bath. The walls seemed thick, he couldn't hear anything from the room on the other side of the wall which were where Roman and Patton had their room. That was good. He didn't know much about their relationship except that they were dating, and he didn't want to find out if they had a sex life.

And they wouldn't be able to hear anything from Logan and Virgil's room. That was the other reason to why he would have rather slept alone, he didn't want to bother anyone or wake them up in the middle of the night. He happened to be tormented by nightmares quite regularly lately, he had no idea why he had started to dream those horrid dreams but they had stuck with him for several weeks now. And just because his mind woke him up in the middle of the night doesn't mean any of the other sides should have to be awake at such a time. He didn't really know if he actually screamed or talked in his sleep but he was sure he moved his limbs a lot, many times after he woke up he found his duvet and pillows on the floor.

But now that Logan would share the bed with him... Virgil didn't want the others to find out about his troubles with getting a full night of sleep, they shouldn't have to be concerned about him. He really hoped the dreams would leave him alone for these two nights. What if he kicked Logan in his sleep and woke him up? What if he said something that woke him up. There were too many what if's.

Virgil wanted to avoid doing anything that would disturb Logan's night. This caused him to feel very anxious right now. He was always in a pretty messed up state for quite a while after his nightmares. That was nothing Logan should have to see. And it wasn't something that Virgil wanted anyone to see.

Luckily the hotel gave them as many pillows and duvets as they wanted so they wouldn't have to share those too. Though Virgil did never ask Logan if they should build a wall of pillows between them, he was too nervous to. Maybe Logan would just think he was silly if he did that.

They had gotten there quite late and even though they were all excited to go down to the beach, they agreed that they would wait with that until tomorrow. Instead they all gathered in Roman and Patton's room and played cards and board games. Virgil tried to ignore the fact that the time seemed to be passing abnormally quick, it seemed to always do that when he was anxious about something that was going to happen later.

At 10:30pm they all decided to go to sleep. Virgil usually stayed up longer but if he was right then it would probably take him quite some time before he was able to fall asleep anyways. Not only because he was anxious over what he might dream, but also because he was unable to control how close they got while he was asleep. He'd rather not invade Logan's personal space. Yeah, he had loads of reasons to be stressed out and his mind made sure that he was aware of every single one of them. Ah, being the embodiment of anxiety sure had it's lovely perks.

He listened to some music in his headphones, deciding that even though he was already in bed, he would try to stay awake for a little bit. He knew he shouldn't fall asleep with his headphones on, he'd have to take them off before he fell asleep. The music did not keep the nightmares away, he had tried that. But it was still calming and he needed to be a bit calmed down before going to sleep.

At 11 pm when he looked over at Logan he saw that he was already sleeping, Virgil smiled at that because in his sleep he looked less serious and his face didn't have the usual neutral look. Now he actually seemed to be relaxed. He paused the music, closed down all the apps that were running on his phone, and put his phone and headphones down on the nightstand. Time to at least attempt to get some sleep.

--

"No... No!" Logan forced his eyes open, had someone said something? Even in his tired state he knew he had heard someone's voice and it had to be Virgil's since he was the only other person in the room. But he had never heard Virgil sound like that before. He wasn't sure what it meant. He blinked a few times and reached for his glasses. If he could see the other side better then maybe he could figure out what was wrong.

"Pl- please, I didn't mean- Don't lea-" The words were mumbled quietly and quickly but Logan could hear them clearly in the silence they were surrounded by. Now when Logan could hear him better he knew what it was about Virgil's speaking that had made him feel so uneasy. He had sounded scared, really scared, and suddenly Logan was wide awake.

Virgil whimpered, a few tears leaving his eyes and rolling down towards the mattress that his head was resting on, the pillow was lying next to him. Logan didn't know what to do, what was going on? Was Virgil having a bad dream of some sort? Logan sat up slowly while trying to decide what to do, should he wake Virgil up? The sleeping boy mumbled something, he couldn't quite make out what he had said, the words were said too quick to be processed.

Virgil's hands were gripping the bedsheets tightly and another cry left his mouth, he was clearly distressed. Logan couldn't remember himself ever having a bad dream so he was unsure if he could comfort Virgil in any way. He looked down at Virgil who was mumbling something else and pushing a pillow away, resulting in it falling to the floor.

The question about whether or not he should wake Virgil up was solved when Virgil suddenly sat up, he had clearly been woken up by whatever he had been going through in his dream. Waking up didn't seem to make anything better though, Virgil was hyperventilating and stared around the room in panic. Logan realized that maybe Virgil wasn't fully awake yet, stuck in between his unsettling dreams and consciousness. He put a hand on Virgil's shoulder and he could feel that the other side was shaking.

"Virgil?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly. He told himself it was because he was tired, but honestly he was scared, what could he possibly dream off that would bring him into such a state of distress? Virgil seemed to not even had heard him so he tried to call his name again, louder this time. Virgil flinched at that and looked around. His eyes were full of fear and it took several seconds before he managed to actually focus his eyes on Logan. If he had hoped that Virgil seeing him would calm him down then he had been wrong. He was still shaking and his breathing did not slow down. Logan understood that Virgil might be having one of his anxiety attacks, even though he had never seen Virgil have one before he knew it happened now and then.

"Breathe with me Virgil, breathe. Match your breaths with mine." Logan said and took deep and slow breaths, trying to make Virgil's breathing slower. It took several minutes for Virgil to succeed with this task and when he did he was still in utmost distress.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked and immediately despised himself for asking such a stupid question. Anyone, even Logan, could see that Virgil was not fine and asking if he was was moronic. Virgil opened his mouth to attempt to answer his question but was interrupted by a sob that racked through his body, making only a small whine escape his lips. Logan then decided to pull him in for an embrace. Maybe human contact would help, it's what Patton always did when one of the others were sad.

"Lo- Logan." Virgil stuttered out, his whole body was trembling against Logan's chest. He clung to Logan like letting go would burn him but Logan couldn't bring himself to mind. Normally he wasn't very keen on such things as hugs but he would do anything to make Virgil feel better, and it did seem to help. He doesn't know how long it takes but after a while, maybe ten minutes or so, he had both stopped crying and shaking. Logan was really glad that it was over, seeing Virgil like this had been a shock. He was happy that he had agreed to sleeping in the same bed as Virgil, what if he hadn't been there for him when this happened? Logan didn't want to think about that and the thought that this might be something that Virgil had gone through alone previously was not welcomed.

He realized that Virgil was still and that his tight grip around Logan had loosened. He had fallen asleep. Logan carefully laid them both down, not daring to untangle himself from Virgil in case that it might wake him up. And he had to admit that it was nice, having Virgil asleep against him. It was very calming to see the other trait sleeping so peacefully. It made him feel..., at a loss for better words, warm inside his chest. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes he would have never guessed that Virgil had woken up crying only twenty minutes ago.

He lifted his arm and took his glasses off again, sleeping with them on would probably result in them breaking. He closed his eyes with a small yawn, it was probably around two in the morning so he should probably get back to sleep he too. Logan just hoped that Virgil would be able to sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night.

--

When Virgil woke up in the morning he had a few peaceful minutes of unawareness before his brain really turned on and remembered what had happened during the night. A wave of embarrassment and anguish washed over him, not only had he had a nightmare, it had woken up Logan and he had had to see Virgil while he was in panic. He let out a deep sigh, burying his face in the pillow. And then he realized that his head wasn't resting on a pillow, it was resting against Logan's chest and Logan even had an arm flung over his back, holding him in place. He let out a huff of annoyance, all the things he had wanted to avoid had happened.

Could this day humiliate him any more? Apparently it could because if Virgil had had any plan to roll away and leave the room without Logan noticing it, it died when he glanced up at Logan's face and saw that he was already awake. He was wearing his glasses and holding a book in his other hand so that must mean that he has been awake for a while, unable to move because Virgil had been lying on him. He pushed himself away from Logan, his face burning hot.

"I'm sorry, I, uh, I didn't mean to, you know, sleep on y- ...sorry. And for waking you up, I should've made sure to not wake you up. You shouldn't have had to see that and, um..." He stuttered out anxiously. Virgil shuffles backwards so that he is as far away from Logan as possible without falling of the bed. Logan just stretched and then brushed some hair away from his forehead.

"There is no need to apologize, Virgil. You cannot control if you have a bad dream or not. It's unpredictable. And I am actually glad it woke me up because if it had not I would not have been able to be of any help to you." Logan smiled at him and Virgil internally cursed, this is not making him blush any less. "As for falling asleep on me, it was I who initiated the embrace. I thought it to be a good way to help you calm down after the nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about the dream?" Logan asks after a moment of silence and Virgil violently shakes his head. Even if he could bring himself to talk to Logan about them he would not like to have a conversation about it. His nightmares were far too personal and played on his fears of losing the people he loved and being left alone.

"It's fine, I'm used to nightmares by now." He says, shooting Logan a reassuring smile as if that would convince him that Virgil was okay. He knew he couldn't fool Logan, but he didn't want his pity. He definitely wasn't used to them though, every night he had them they left him just as much of a wreck as they did the last time.

"Do you mean that you have these nightmares frequently?" Logan says, making Virgil freeze. He hadn't meant to let him know that, but now Logan would probably not stop asking about it until he knew the truth. That didn't stop him from trying to cover up his mistakes though.

"No, not at all. It was just tonight." He tried to sound like he's unbothered and like he isn't lying. Logan did not look impressed.

"Virgil, don't lie to me, I want to help. How long has these nightmares been going on?" He looked concerned which made Virgil feel weird. He didn't want Logan to worry about him, it made him feel like a burden. But at the same time, if he worried it meant he cared for Virgil, and he couldn't help feeling good because of that. He shrugged as a response to Logan's question.

"Virgil?"

"A few weeks maybe." He sighed. "Not every night, but like five out of seven nights." He didn't want Logan to make a big deal about this. And also, how could he possibly help?

"Do you know why you have them?" Virgil only shook his head, he actually had no idea why this was happening. He had thought he was doing good until he started having all these horrid dreams. He wished he knew why because then maybe they could figure out what he needed to do to make them go away.

"I just do. If I knew why I'd have done something about it. And I am Anxiety, why wouldn't I have nightmares?" He said with a small chuckle while pulling his duvet closer around himself. He knew Logan would try to rationalize all of this so he searched for something to say to quiet him. Virgil already knew the one thing he needed to say though.

"Thank- thank you, by the way. For helping me calm down I mean. It usually takes me almost an hour just to be able to stop shaking. And after that I'm usually too scared to be able to get any more sleep." This information was nothing he really wanted to share with Logan, but he felt that Logan needed to understand how much he had helped him. He was awful at calming himself down, when he was in the middle of an anxiety or panic attack he always forgot everything he had ever learnt about how to calm down from them.

"I'm glad to be of assistance. Don't hesitate to wake me up if you need me and I'm not already awake." Virgil really appreciated Logan saying that, even though he knew that he would probably never wake him up. He'd rather let Logan sleep peacefully than wake him up just because he was messed up from something as stupid as a dream.

After a few moments of them not breaking eye contact Logan cleared his throat and threw the covers off of his legs. He took a few steps away from the bed, his back towards Virgil, and then he took his pajama shirt off before he picked up his neatly folded shirt that he had placed on a chair the night before.

Virgil tried his hardest to not be creepy and stare at Logan's back. When Logan started to change from his pajama pants to his normal pants Virgil rushed to the bathroom, his own clothes in his hand. Logan might be comfortable with changing in front of Virgil but he felt awkward about it, what if Logan thought he was looking? Or what if he saw him looking? Virgil did not trust himself to keep his eyes away.

He was slightly nervous over going to the beach, he's always a bit uncomfortable with wearing anything less than two layers. He felt the most comfortable with his baggy hoodie and black jeans.

They then decided to go down to eat breakfast, finding the other two sides already in the hotels cafeteria. Patton had found something very sweet and unhealthy to eat, Virgil had no idea how he always seemed to find the things that were 90% sugar. Roman wasn't eating anything. Both Virgil and Roman agreed that eating in the morning was impossible and gross, even if you'd actually be hungry at that time, the thought of eating was something that only brought a feeling of nausea. Neither Patton nor Logan understood that and always tried to make them eat at least something little. Right now Logan nudged him in the direction of the breakfast bar.

"At least take a fruit, you need to eat something healthy." He gave Virgil a plate and Virgil groaned in response. He looked over the options. They actually had a lot of fruit so Virgil took a handful of grapes, ignoring Logan's stern look. He bit into one, the sweet taste exploding in his mouth. He liked grapes, grapes were his favorite fruits. Or maybe they were berries. He wasn't sure actually.

"Hey Logan, is a grape a berry or a fruit?" Virgil asked as he sat down at the table. If anyone would know a random fact like that it would be Logan.

"A grape is a fruit, botanically a berry." He said, not even looking up from his plate. Virgil didn't know what that meant so he decided it was for the best to just let the question go. He could probably google the answer later, google could probably also explain itself in an easy way. (Logan's explanations had a habit of leaving him more confused than he had been before.) He forced himself to eat all of the grapes while looking out of the window. He was currently ignoring the kissing sounds that Roman and Patton were producing.

Logan had finished his sandwiches and was solving a crosswords puzzle that he had found in a newspaper. The weather seemed to be clear, the sky was blue and the sun was shining, Virgil could already spot people sunbathing on the beach and even a few that had gone into the water. It looked like it was already warm outside.

He was glad that they had chosen to go somewhere near the ocean, he actually loved to swim. For some weird reason it just made him feel a little bit less trapped when he was surrounded by water. And he found it quite calming to hold his breath and dive deep down. It was so silent down there. All sounds were muffled by the water. It was rarely completely quiet anywhere, you could always hear the sound of motor vehicles, people or the wind. So yeah, he was happy that they had decided on going here. Someone poked his arm and he turned around with an eyebrow raised questioningly, it was Roman.

"Come on Emo Nightmare, we are going to get our stuff and go to the beach now. You can dream later." He said excitedly with a huge grin on his face, hopefully not seeing how the word nightmare made Virgil wince slightly. He shot him a small smile back, pretending that it hadn't happened.

"Alright." When Roman turned around and started walking with Patton back towards their rooms he saw that Logan was studying him with a pondering look on his face. He felt like he could see right through him, like he could read Virgil's mind or at least was trying to. When their eyes met Logan turned away, following the other two who were currently on their way up the stairs. Virgil did the same while wondering why Logan had looked at him in such a way, like he was a puzzle he could not solve or a subject he was studying but not quite yet grasping.

The lights in the corridor were on, even though the big windows on the other side of the corridor let in loads of light. Patton was whispering in Roman's ear, glancing back at Logan. He wondered what they were talking about. Logan seemed unaware, he was busy trying to unlock the door to their room with the obnoxiously small key they had gotten for it. If Virgil had found the key on the floor he'd have guessed it was for a diary rather than to one of the rooms in this hotel.

He held the door open for Virgil and then closed it behind them even though they were only going to spend maybe a minute in there. Logan quickly gathered the things he wanted to bring down to the beach in a bag and then stood and waited for Virgil to find his stuff. Unlike Logan Virgil did not have any sort of order in his luggage, he had just stuffed it full, so it was hard for him to find what he wanted without emptying it all out on the floor. He was in the midst of searching in his backpack when Logan asked him something.

"Why do you not want anyone to know about your nightmares?" Logan questioned, making Virgil stop his movements in the middle of digging through his backpack for his swimming trunks and his towel. He wasn't actually sure why he was so desperate to keep them a secret, probably because they embarrassed him, nightmares are for small children. And they scared him. What if they would just laugh at Virgil's fears and think he was silly?

"I just... don't want them to pity me, or think of me any differently. The dreams are just silly and I don't want them to worry. Don't tell them, please?" He didn't even glance at Logan while speaking, afraid to see pity or, even worse, annoyance showing on Logan's face. But then Logan spoke and his voice was soft and his tone careful, as if he was scared of saying the wrong thing.

"They would not pity you, Virgil. And we already worry about you. You worry about us even if there is no current danger, right, and we worry about you. That's what it's like to care about someone. But that most definitely doesn't make us see you as a burden. We care and worry because we love you. And for the record I do not think these dreams seem very silly. They give me the impression to be horrid." Logan said slowly. "But if you really don't want me to speak of your nightmares then I will not."

"Thank you." He said, feeling a bit better already. Even though he knew they all loved him, his bond with Logan was more special. The other ones tried to cheer him up when he was sad, which he appreciated greatly, but Logan understood him and made Virgil understand that everything was okay, even if he was sad for a while or if he had failed at something. That was something that Virgil loved him for; his ability to always make Virgil feel better about himself.

People finding out things about him was always something that made him anxious, and if it had to happen he wanted to be the one speaking about it. He then slipped into the bathroom so that he would be able to change into his swimwear, there wasn't a chance that he'd change on the beach.

--

Down a the beach the first thing Logan did was changing his normal glasses to sunglasses. It wasn't terribly hot outside yet but the sun was already bright despite it only being 10am. Roman had immediately rushed down to the water and was currently dipping his toe into it to see how cold it was. Even though everyone else were excited to swim Logan was more enthusiastic over reading the book he had brought. Patton had given it to him a few weeks ago (he gave them all random gifts sometimes) and he hadn't had time to read it until now. The book was about black holes and Logan was thrilled to be able to educate himself about them. Space was something that would always fascinate him.

He spread his towel out on the sand, well aware that it would not help keeping the sand away and that he'd probably find sand in his clothes for years to come. Patton put both his and Roman's towels down next to Logan's and sat down on his, watching Roman shiver as he touched the water with his foot.

Virgil had just thrown his bag with his things and his purple t-shirt on the beach and when Logan looked around he saw him already out in the ocean, water up to his stomach, taunting Roman for thinking the water was cold. That made Princey run out to Virgil, just to make sure people wouldn't think he was a wuss.

Roman then shrieked a bloodcurdling cry and both Patton and Logan flinched and look up to see Virgil splash water on him. Logan couldn't help smiling slightly at that, but he hid it by turning his head away and looking for his book. When he looked up again, book in hand, he saw Virgil purposely falling backwards into the water so that he became completely soaked. He shivered just at the thought of doing the same, the water must still be cold despite it already being warm outside. Logan was perfectly content sitting in the sun with his book.

Roman seemed to think that it was scandalous that he wasn't the first one to dip into the water because he dived in just a second later. Logan opened his book, starting to read the foreword. After only a few pages Patton pointed out that the sun was quite strong and that they should put on some sunscreen. He agreed and began to smear some on his arm.

After they both finished with the sunscreen he sat there reading for a while. Patton took a short nap in the sun and after that he moved himself closer to the water and began to build a sandcastle in the sand. Virgil and Roman came running by them, showering both Logan and Patton in sand. Logan was in that moment glad that he had his glasses on, because if he didn't he surely would be having sand in his eyes now.

After Virgil had shoved Princey over he apologized to them and tried to brush away the sand that was now stuck to the sunscreen on his arms and legs. Logan huffed, slightly annoyed, now he would definitely find sand in weird places for the next couple of weeks to come. Maybe he should wash the sand away in the ocean, he was already wearing his swimming trunks so that wouldn't be too much work.

He ignored the fact that his heart was beginning to race, that happened a lot when Virgil stood close to him and it had begun to annoy him. It was illogical and he didn't know the reason to why it happened. He began to feel slightly flustered and decided that that was another argument for going into the water. He pushed Virgil's hand away and stood up, taking his shirt of at the same time. He untied his shoes and took his socks of.

"I do not want to find any sand in my shoes when I get back up, okay?" He warned. The sand under his bare feet were heated up from the sun, the weather really was great today. He walked into the water until it reached up to his waist. It was, as he had guessed, cold and at first his body tensed up. He soon relaxed, getting used to the cool temperature. He could hear the splash of water behind him, from the sound of it the other three had followed him. He began to rub all of the sand away. He would rather not have any left when he got up from the water because he knew that they would find it in their bed later. Logan would have a problem with sleeping in a bed full of sand.

Roman was carrying Patton bridal style in his arms, taking a few steps forward before throwing him into the water. This also led to Logan being showered, but this time it was water instead of sand. Virgil backstroked past him, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face. He found himself smiling too, wondering why for a second before shrugging it off.

Logan felt bad for not sooner realizing that Virgil was having problems getting a full nights rest. He wished he could be of help to the darker trait. He knew it wasn't necessarily because Virgil didn't trust him, he just had the unhealthy habit of thinking that he didn't need anyones help and that he was a burden. This was not the case and Logan swore to make Virgil understand that he would never be a burden to him.

He shielded his eyes from the sun, watching as Virgil swam out further and hearing the giggles from Patton behind him. The water was blue-ish and reflected the sun so that he had to look away if he didn't want to go blind. He could see the seabed, it consisted of grainy sand and small shells from sea snails and it was shaped after the waves. Logan gazed out at Virgil again, seeing him swim further out, diving down into the water just to reappear thirty seconds later, he then began to swim back to Logan and the other sides.

He felt the same warm fuzzy feeling in his chest that he had last night when Virgil got closer and he could see the brilliant smile on his face. But when he was only a few feet sway that smile turned mischievous and Virgil reached out and pushed him over. Logan graciously flailed his arms around for a second before falling backwards. When he managed to get his head above the water again he could hear Roman and Patton laughing loudly and he glared at them.

"What was the point of that?" He asked while brushing wet hair away from his eyes and wishing he had a towel

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." He smirked, his shoulders shaking from repressed laughing. Logan rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to feel annoyance towards Virgil right now. He began to walk through the water towards the beach, he had gotten most of the sand away now and he wanted to continue reading his book. The book he could understand. His feelings right now however, he could not.

--

At 2 pm they got really hungry and decided to go to the pizza restaurant located a few hundred meters away on the beach. Virgil had gotten hungry a while before that but he hadn't wanted to be a bother, so he had waited until one of the other sides had mentioned getting something to eat before admitting that he was really hungry. They had many times told him that he should just say things out right if there was something that he wanted to say, but did they not realize that that was hard? Was it not hard for them to do that? Virgil guessed that this was another nice benefit he had from being the embodiment of anxiety.

They spent some time drying up in the sun before going though, because Virgil didn't want to show up there in a t-shirt and a wet pair of swimming trunks. Neither of them had the energy nor patience to go all the way back to the hotel to leave their bags with stuff so they brought them with to the pizza restaurant. Patton said that he was sure that no one would mind and Virgil hoped that he was right, these kind of small things made him more anxious than he'd like to admit.

But when they got there they saw lots of other families that were also there in their bathing suits so of course there had been no reason for Virgil to worry. As usual. Logan found the optimal booth (as far away from other people and the children's play area as possible, not covered in spilled soda and it was a bit closed off so no weird stranger would be able to stare at them) and they sat down and opened up the menu that was lying in the middle of the table.

"Ooh, they have a pizza that has candy toppings!" Patton exclaimed and read out loud what kind of candy they put on the pizza.

"Patton you can't eat that." Logan said, sounding horrified at the mere thought of a candy pizza. "It has no nutritional value at all."

"For once I agree with Mr Robot over there. You really shouldn't eat that. And also, it's for children." Roman agrees and Patton gives him his best puppy eyes so he hurries to say that they can all buy ice cream as a dessert. That makes Patton smile and he proceeds to settle for a pineapple pizza instead of the diabetes pizza. Virgil read through the menu with a repressed sigh, there were so many different kinds of pizza and he could only choose one of them. He wished there was an option to have one slice of each. That would have to be small slices though since there was twenty-three pizzas to choose between.

After much contemplating he decided on a pizza that was topped with shrimp, salami, mushrooms and extra cheese. Logan went up to the counter to order all four pizzas, Virgil had refused to do so even though it technically was his turn. They all took turns to be the one to order food and so far Virgil had managed to escape doing it every time. He was running out of excuses. This time he had sent Logan a desperate look and thankfully he had understood. Virgil certainly has to find the courage to tell the others that he gets really nervous and anxious in those situations and that he'd prefer to not do it alone.

It takes too long for the pizzas to get done, at least according to Virgil. His and Roman's pizzas are the last ones served to the table and he is almost tempted to try to swallow it whole. Instead he restrains himself and cuts it into slices before starting to devour it. Logan and Patton are discussing what they should do after they've eaten, Patton suggests going back to the beach while Logan mentioned something about a museum that had some exhibition that he found interesting. Virgil was not sure what it was about because he wasn't really listening, the third slice of pizza that he held in his hand was much more entertaining.

If they went back to the beach he could at least swim far away from the others (specifically Logan) if he felt nervous and like he needed a moment to himself. He wasn't sure why he had decided to push Logan over earlier but the way the other side had looked at him had made him nervous and he had panicked.

-- Wee time skip --

Virgil jolted awake, feeling his body buzzing with panic and only hearing his own quick breaths. The memories of the dream were already fading, but leaving him feeling afraid, confused and alone. No, maybe not alone. A voice was saying his name repeatedly, trying to get contact with him and he could almost comprehend a hand touching his shoulder. He could see the hand, presumably Logan's, out of the corner of his eye but it almost felt like it wasn't his body it was touching. He reached out his hand and touched the other sides arm, making sure it was really there, using it to attempt to ground himself. Everything was a blur, he felt like he couldn't be sure what was actually real.

He tried to take a deep breath just like Logan was currently instructing him to do, but failed miserably several times. He blinked away tears that had gathered in his eyes and tried to concentrate on actually seeing Logan. Right now he was just a voice who told him to breathe out for seven seconds.

Just like the night before it took several seconds before Virgil was able to focus on Logan's face, but as he did so he was able to get a better grip of reality. He looked around the room and on the clock on his arm, he could see clearly that the clock said 5:37 am so that mean he was definitely back in the real world and not stuck in his dream. In the dreams he could never tell the time. That was a scary thing, not being able to comprehend if it's real or if it's a dream, it terrified Virgil because what if one day he would wake up and discover that the real world and the dream world was the same.

"Y- You weren't- you weren't there and I-" He covered his mouth with his hands, trying to muffle the sound of his sobs and hide from Logan that his voice kept breaking. He could see that his hands shook as he reached for Logan. He was too tired to feel ashamed over initiating contact with Logan, he just needed some stability, warmth and sense right now and Logan could provide all of those. Logan didn't seem to have a problem with his desire for human contact though because the logical side hugged him closely. Virgil could feel Logan press his lips to his temple, mumbling the words I'm here, a gesture that made him feel slightly better.

"I can't- can't remember. But everyone was ...gone, I couldn't..." That was all he managed to stutter out before he recovered enough from the dream to make himself shut up. He knew he'd regret talking about his dreams later even if it was comforting to do so now, he had less off a filter when he was tired. But right now he needed to let someone know, he hadn't been able to stop himself from uttering the words.

"I'm here, and I have no intention to leave, okay?" Logan pressed his lips to Virgil's temple again, Virgil guessed that Logan had realized that it was calming him.

5:37 am, he had been so close to getting a full nights sleep. He pressed his face against the soft fabric of Logan's night t-shirt and hoped he didn't mind that it got a bit wet from his tears. He despised this. He despised his dreams. He despised his mind for coming up with them. He despised himself for letting them get to him. They weren't even realistic and yet they scared him so much.

"I'm weak, I can't even stop crying after having a damn nightmare." Virgil said, surprisingly succeeding at speaking a whole sentence without his voice cracking.

"Falsehood." Logan stated softly. "You are not weak at all, your dreams leaves you in a state of high emotional distress and yet you never complain nor asks for any help even though your dreams must be quite terrifying if they can make you this panicked. I would advice you to do that though, ask for help that is. I would rather be woken up so I can help you than sleep the whole night and then know that you did not want my help or had to suffer through it alone."

Virgil sniffled in response and took some deep and shaky breaths. He didn't know what he was supposed to reply to that. It did make him feel a bit better though, Logan wouldn't lie to him. He feared that he would fall asleep on Logan again, just as he had done last night, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the safety of Logan's arms. Even though it was illogical he felt as if as long as he stayed like this, then the horrors of his dreams couldn't reach him.

It surprised Virgil how it was possible for him to care so little about his embarrassment in this moment. He didn't care at all that he'd probably be flustered and awkward when they woke up close together later this morning, right now he needed Logan close to him and he didn't have the energy to feel anxious over everything. Having these nightmares were exhausting enough, the panic attacks they brought him did not make them any less bearable.

Logan laid down against the mattress again, still holding Virgil. He was glad that Logan didn't push him away, even though this cuddling wasn't something friends would normally do, especially the two of them. They were both the kind of people that shy away from any kind of physical contact. It's not that Virgil didn't like those things, he just didn't know what to do and it made him feel awkward, he suspected that it was the same for Logan.

It was silly, but he found it very comforting to sleep cuddled up to Logan like this. It was reassuring to know that he'd be there if the dreams came back to torment him. And at this moment he dreaded having to go home and go back to sleeping alone. He didn't want to have to face his dreams by himself. Having Logan comfort him after his nightmares was helpful, Logan made him feel safer over all.

And in his dreams the other sides got hurt. Or they left him. Or they died. He knew that it is improbable that they would ever leave him, or die, but the dreams still left him completely fucked up. That's also why Logan being there helped him, seeing him made it clear that the dream was just a dream and that the other sides, his family, was safe. And of course Logan and his logic had always been good at soothing him and his anxiety.

He easily fell back asleep to the sound of Logan's calm breathing.

--

Logan looked at the sleeping side. Virgil's hands were still gripping to Logan's shirt and he was snoring slightly. His hair, that matched his purple t-shirt, was almost covering his eyes. He looked very... adorable. That though surprised Logan slightly, but he guessed that, in lack of better words, adorable was a word that fitted neatly with how he would describe Virgil. Even though he wasn't someone who used those words regularly, that was more like Patton. He described almost everything as adorable.

But Logan knew that his relationship with Virgil had changed over the weekend. Of course they had already been friends, but now they were closer. Literally and figuratively. The way he thought about Virgil had changed too. Now he knew more about him. He knew why he had been looking so tired for the past weeks and why he had tried to make the other sides stay up and watch movie marathons with him. And something else had changed between them too, but Logan wasn't sure what it was that had changed or what it meant, so he was going to ponder on that later.

Virgil mumbled something in his sleep and the corners of Logan's mouth twitched upwards slightly. That was definitely preferable over him crying out in fear while asleep. Logan once again found himself frustrated over not being able to help him more, but Virgil had said that him just being there when he woke up from a nightmare is helpful and that he had had a much harder time to calm down after them when he woke up alone. He froze slightly, a thought he didn't appreciate had just popped into his mind.

Were the nightmares going to be worse for Virgil when they where home and in separate beds again?

Logan didn't want that, not at all. He would much rather keep sharing a bed with Virgil. Not only because it helped Virgil, but also because he found it quite enjoyable despite the nightly disturbances. There was actually a study about how sleeping in the same room as other people made it easier to fall asleep because your body sensed that everyone else was asleep which made you tired too. It was an interesting study but he hadn't had the time to read up on it yet. And right now he felt strangely distracted by Virgil so he didn't think he would be able to focus on that at this moment.

His eyes kept wandering back to the dark traits face. He wasn't wearing his usual eyeshadow. (Or maybe was it eyeliner he used? Logan isn't sure, he doesn't have a lot of knowledge about makeup.) Even yesterday he had used makeup, when Patton had asked why he would wear it when bathing in the ocean all day he had just replied that it was waterproof. Seeing him without the black eyeshadow beneath his eyes was highly unusual. But, thinking back, Logan realized he hadn't worn it last night either, Logan just hadn't noticed that then. He guessed that makeup wasn't something that should be worn while sleeping.

He was confused to why his thoughts were centered so much around Virgil and his appearance this morning but quickly shrugged it off. There wasn't much else to observe when you were stuck in bed. The hotel room was quite plain and there wasn't anything interesting in there. There was a tv but the remote was far away and he didn't want to risk waking Virgil up by reaching for it. Instead he settled for continuing to stare at Virgil until he woke up too.

After a little while he reached for his phone, thinking that maybe he could do some research about nightmares. He thought back at what Virgil had managed to tell Logan about the dream he had had last night. He remembered him saying everyone was gone and you weren't there. That last one made a cold feeling spread through him, what if Logan some day wasn't there when Virgil needed him? This only made him more sure that Virgil and him should keep sharing a bed. Virgil obviously feared that he was going to lose them or be left behind or abandoned by Logan, Patton and Roman and Logan wished, he really wished, that he could reassure Virgil that that was never going to happen.

He wished he knew how to convince Virgil that they, that he, would always be there for him.

Virgil stirred slightly and Logan loosened his tight grip around the other side. He hadn't realized how tightly he had been hugging him to his chest. He put his phone down again. He saw Virgil's eyes flutter open and how it took him a few seconds to really wake up. Then he moved his head slightly so that his eyes could meet Logan's. When he saw that Logan was awake he apparently saw that as a reason to move because he then rolled off from his chest and Logan sighed quietly at the loss of body heat.

"Good morning." Virgil mumbled, his voice still muffled from sleep. The other side yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes while Logan stretched his arms and his back.

"Good morning to you too, Virgil." Logan says, deciding that greeting him with a smile was the best way to make him ease up, it had proved to help in the past. It was clear that Virgil felt embarrassed when he woke up close to him in the mornings. Logan didn't really understand why, but he guessed that Virgil wasn't very good at responding to any sort of affection.

Though Virgil did smile back, he also excused him self quickly and escaped towards the bathroom, so maybe Logan's theory was wrong. He made a mental note that smiling only helped sometimes and that he should figure out why. Emotional responses really isn't Logan's strong suit.

He heard the shower turn on and left the bed to get dressed. He guessed that he had about 15 minutes to figure out how to ask Virgil about the dream and to convince him to let Logan continue to help him with his nightmares. He settled on just trying to talk to Virgil about the nightmares, the other thing they could talk about later. He folded his pajamas and placed it in his suitcase. The flight home was to be boarded at 6:15pm and he would like to have everything packed long before that. He gathered up all of his stuff and packed it down before Virgil got out of the shower. He then made the bed just so he had something to do.

When the door to the bathroom opened Virgil stepped out, fully clothed (he felt relieved at that, not really understanding the source of that emotion though so he ignored it) and with a towel wrapped around his hair. It wasn't actually something he had to do since his hair was short, but Virgil seemed to do that anyways. Logan thought it was easier to dry his hair with a hairdryer, a towel fell off too easily.

"Virgil, I wish to speak to you." Logan said, realizing he could have formed the question in a better way when Virgil visibly tensed and gave him a look full of fear. Logan suspected that he was currently jumping to conclusions over what he wanted to talk about. "Don't worry, I just want to ask you about your dreams. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." His tensed up shoulders lowered somewhat at that.

"Sure, ask away." He said, his voice shaking slightly. Logan didn't mention it.

"Last night you mentioned briefly what had happened in your nightmare, and I'd like you to tell it a bit more detailed so I know how to better comfort you."

"Uh, well it's- it's silly really." He said, looking down a the floor and fidgeting with his hands. "I know that we can't get injured or die, but yet some of the dreams involve you or Roman or Patton dyi- dying." Virgil's voice got hoarse towards the end and he cleared his throat. His hands were noticeably shaking so Logan didn't want to pressure him to continue.

"And other dreams are about me going back to being the bad guy and you three hating me, like before. Or telling me that it was all for show and that you've hated me all along. As I said, it's silly." Virgil mumbled the last part and glanced up at Logan. Logan was careful not to show any emotion on his face. The room was silent for a few seconds while Logan gathered his thoughts and tried to decide what to say.

"We could never do that Virgil. You're one of us, and we love you. No matter if this is something that you only think in your dreams or if it's something that pops into your mind during the time that you are awake too, know that we really do love you. You are family." Logan said slowly. If you'd ask it was to make sure that Virgil could hear everything that he said, but really he was just cautious so that his voice wouldn't break. The fact that his dreams scared Virgil so much made Logan strangely emotional and he really didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"But as I said before. Just you being there is more than enough. It allows my brain to register that whatever just happened in my nightmare wasn't real because evidently you're there and you are fine and you don't hate me." Virgil's face had a slight pink tint and his eyes glanced up on Logan for only a second before averting.

Logan took a few steps closer to Virgil and wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you for telling me, I know you find it hard to share these things with others."

"Yeah, whatever." Virgil mumbled, the blush on his face much more prominent now. He pressed his face against Logan's shoulder, probably to hide the fact that he was flustered. Virgil hugged back for a moment before backing away. A second after that there was a loud knock on the door and Roman's voice asking if they were awake yet. Virgil yelled back that they were and Roman opened the door, poking his head inside the room.

"Patton wants to know if you feel like doing something like going out before the flight leaves or if were just going to play boardgames for hours?"He asks and looks at them each, his eyes lingers slightly at Virgil's red face and he raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask. It seems unlike Roman to do so but Logan is grateful, it'd only make Virgil uncomfortable.

"Boardgames." They both say, almost in unison and Roman muffles a snicker.

--

At 6:15 they boarded the flight. It took a while before all the passengers had stuffed their baggage away and found their seats. They had the seats in the back of the plane, it was a small plane so they occupied the four seats at the back. Virgil had hurried in so that he got one of the seats next to the tiny round plane windows. Of course he found it quite scary if he thought about anything involving a plane crash (so he tried to avoid thinking of that, key word being tried) but it was also fascinating to look out through the glass and see as the buildings shrank and the ground disappeared behind a layer of clouds.

Roman and Patton were being sappy and wanted to sit next to each other so Logan ended up in the seat next to Virgil. That was good, because he could ask Logan to wake him up if he happened to drift off to sleep. He didn't want to risk having a nightmare whilst on the plane, there were at least twenty other people there that he didn't want to bother.

He'd just have to remember to tell Logan that, he was sure that he would help him with this since he knew how Virgil was after he had had one of his bad dreams. The plane had small tv screens hanging from the ceiling and with earphones connected to them so Virgil guessed that he could watch a movie or two while on the flight. The plane ride home was only going to take a few hours so he should be fine though.

The seat belt light was on so they fastened their seat belts and waited for the flight to leave the airport.

-- A flight and a short cab ride later --

Virgil looked after Roman and Patton as they hurried towards their rooms to leave their stuff and go to bed. He had thankfully stayed awake during the hours it had taken to get home but he was exhausted now, the other sides seemed to be too because they had all agreed on unpacking tomorrow and just going right to bed. Virgil was relieved to be home, after all he was more comfortable here. When Virgil started to walk towards his own room to do the same Logan cleared his throat, making him turn around to look at the logical side.

"I want you to know that if it would help then you are more than welcome to sleep in my room. I don't mind." Logan said. Virgil had to admit that he would love that. Yes, his reasons for that were mildly fueled by the way Logan made him feel, but mostly because of how easily Logan could help him calm down. But he hesitated for several seconds, not really wanting to answer. He couldn't help but to think that he should say no to Logan's offer. Especially since it didn't seem fair to say yes when Logan didn't know of his ...not so platonic feelings towards him.

"Why?" He said, also having a hard time understanding what Logan would benefit from doing this for him. Wasn't he tired of being woken up by Virgil late at night or early in the morning?

"Because I have deduced that me being there is helpful, you said so yourself, and I want to be there for you when you need me. I wish to be there for you you when your dreams keeps you from getting a full nights rest and I doubt that you will come to me by your own choice since you have a habit of seeing yourself as a burden to us. Which I have told you that you are not, but reassurance doesn't seem to be of much help so I'll just have to show you instead." Logan explained, making Virgil's heart make a jump in his chest. He still wasn't sure if accepting the offer was the right thing to do though. As always, his anxiety was kicking in.

Logan noticed his hesitation and seemed to guess what Virgil's internal conflict was, because he just gestured for Virgil to come with him, not bothering to wait for an answer. Virgil was glad that he did that because he had the feeling that he'd have said no even though he wanted to say yes if he had had to answer the question himself, that was something he did a lot when pressured to answer a question or make a choice.

Logan's room was as neat as always, the floor was clear from dirty laundry, his bookshelf was full with books sorted by color, the bed was made and the papers on his desk were neatly stacked. It made Virgil feel like maybe it was time for him to clean his own room. He glanced back at Logan to see if he was supposed to say something but Logan was currently changing into his pajamas so he started to observe the color coded bookshelf closely. Then he remembered that he needed to brush his teeth and excused himself to go to the bathroom. Logan soon followed him to do the same. It only took a few minutes for them to do that. Though Virgil brushed his teeth for longer than he'd normally do, usually he's quite bad at it because brushing his teeth is boring and patience is something he doesn't have too much of, but Logan apparently did have that kind of patience and brushed his teeth for like five minutes.

Then they went back to Logan's room. He couldn't help but to feel flustered, this time they were sleeping in the same bed because they wanted to, not because they didn't have the choice not to. Logan laid down on his back and patted his chest lightly as if to tell Virgil to lie down on him like they had lied in the hotel. Virgil stood still next to the bed, giving Logan a doubting look. Did he really want Virgil here? And did he really want Virgil to lie so close to him?

"You are most likely going to end up sleeping in my arms anyways, so I do not see the point in avoiding it." He said and Virgil had to agree on that. He climbed into Logan's bed and laid down carefully with his head and one arm on Logan's chest. Logan pulled his duvet over the both of them and then he placed his arms around Virgil, making him feel less awkward about the whole thing. Logan would not offer to do this if he didn't want to, he knew that. He could feel Logan's heartbeats, they were quick but when he looked up at him Logan looked completely calm, giving Virgil a small smile. It made him feel less embarrassed to know that under Logan's collected exterior he was just as nervous about this as Virgil was. Though he was always nervous about everything. He couldn't for the life of him guess why Logan would be.

He decided that he would try to not think about that since he knew that when he thought too much about something it only made him anxious. And his nightmares found him quicker if he was anxious, that he knew. He took a deep breath, breathing in Logan's scent. He smelled like books and ink, which made Virgil's lips unintentionally curl into a smile. Cuddling with Logan was something that he definitely had not thought was going to happen a few days ago, yet here they were. He enjoyed it more than he'd admit, it made him feel very ...cared for. Virgil closed his tired eyes, it was weird how exhausted a flight could make you. Doing nothing is tiring.

--

The nightmares last night had been bad, not as bad as usually, but still bad. That was the first thought that popped into Virgil's head as he woke up. He had calmed down quickly with the help of Logan and slept soundly for the rest of the night. It made him feel instantly better about the day ahead of him. Logan was still asleep, that he could deter from the quiet snores that were leaving his mouth. He carefully removed Logan's arms from around him, not wanting to wake him up. It wasn't often that Virgil was awake before Logan since the logical side of course had a really good sleep schedule.

Virgil did not.

He sat up, letting the covers fall off him, and looked over at Logan. The logical side was lying on his back, as always, and with his arms loosely crossed over his chest from Virgil moving. His hair was messy and his mouth was slightly open. Seeing this made some less welcome thoughts appear in his mind. They were mostly focused around the fact that Logan looked very cute.

Virgil pushed the thought away and shoved that feeling aside. This is the last thing that he needed right now, he was not ready to face that certain feeling. Especially not now, he didn't want to make things between him and Logan even more complicated. He was already confused by Logan and things would only get worse if he fully admitted his feelings for him to himself. He was certain that his feelings for Logan were of the romantic kind, that didn't stop him from trying to ignore them though.

He tiptoed from the bed to the door and opened it as silently as possible. His mouth was very dry, he wanted something to drink and he knew that he had left an unopened can of Sprite in the fridge before they left. Hopefully Patton hadn't drunk it already.

The kitchen was as empty as the rest of the mind scape so apparently he was the only one that was awake. Opening the fridge he saw that his soda was untouched. It might not be the best thing to drink the first thing in the morning but Virgil could only care so much. The can made a hissing sound when it let out the carbonic acid and he raised it to his lips to take a sip. It was peaceful to be the only one awake in the morning. Of course he loved spending time with the other sides, but it was too early in the morning to deal with any ridiculousness, weird facts or excitement.

No, he wanted to watch some Cartoon Network and drink his Sprite. So that's what he did, for four hours. After one hour he could hear someone in the kitchen. Based on the attempted silence it was Logan, Patton always turned on the radio and Roman sang Disney songs to wake himself up. He was probably making breakfast because Virgil could hear him open cupboards. After an episode of We Bare Bears Logan appeared in the doorway with a bowl of cereal and sat down just in time to see an episode of Steven Universe. A smile graced Logan's face as he saw the familiar show on the screen. He then glanced at the can of soda in Virgil's hand and gave him a look of that's-not-good-for-you. Virgil just stuck his tongue out before taking another sip.

Logan rolled his eyes and continued to eat his cereal while watching the tv. Around hour three he could hear the radio turn on in the kitchen and Roman came into the room singing on When You Wish Upon A Star. He soon got shushed by both Logan and Virgil and they got an offended look back.

The only reason that he left the couch after four hours of watching tv was because he really needed to pee. He cursed his bladder as he sprinted through the hallway during the commercials. This is a very annoying bodily function that he wished would desist. When he got back from the bathroom he stopped in the doorway for a moment, all three of the other sides were now gathered on the couch and staring at the tv. He smiled fondly at the scene, he was really glad to be a part of this family. He heard the program start again and rushed back to the sofa so he wouldn't miss anything. He sat back down next to Logan, making sure not to sit too close.

That didn't do much good though because Virgil noticed that they had gotten closer to each other after a few minutes. He wasn't sure if it was he or Logan who had moved closer, but it still made him nervous. He wished that he knew how Logan felt for him, he should attempt to find that out somehow. That had to wait until later though, the episode of Steven Universe that was playing on the tv was a really good one.

--

Logan was sure of one thing, when he was close to Virgil it made his heartbeats quicken. He had been testing the theory several times during the past few days (he had certainly had opportunities to) and it was definitely a fact. He wasn't sure what to do with that information though.

When Logan feels Virgil begin to stir beside him he puts his book down on the nightstand, he hadn't been able to concentrate enough to read anyways, and when he turns back he's met with a sleepy but awake Virgil.

"You didn't have a nightmare tonight." Is the first thing that Logan says and he can see Virgil think for a moment and when he realizes that what Logan said is true he smiles widely at him, even his tired eyes lights up, and Logan's heart melts at the sight. Oh no, he thinks to himself while still observing the softly smiling side, not being able to do something else than smiling back.

He had been struck with sudden realization, just from Virgil's smile. Virgil closed his eyes and somehow dozed off again, still snuggled up to Logan's side, while Logan himself was very much awake and struggling to grasp that he just realized that he liked Virgil. In a romantic sense that is. He hoped that Virgil could not feel his heartbeats speed up even more.

Well that is certainly not how he thought the morning would start. But when he thought about it it made sense, had he not noted that Virgil made his heart beat faster by just being close? And that he easily made him smile? He did feel strangely comfortable around him. Honestly he should've known earlier. Especially after years of listening to Roman blabber about crushes, feelings and love. You know what, Logan thought, it was actually quite obvious.

He reached for his book again, glancing at Virgil now and then as he began reading. It was stupid, but he was much more nervous now. Nothing had really changed, but yet a lot had changed from that small recognition. Should he do something about it? He admitted that he had limited knowledge about ...pretty much everything that had to do with romantic love. It wasn't something he had ever cared to learn about before since he never thought it would be of any use, and now he regretted that since it'd be preferable if he had such information about what to do in this moment.

"You're staring at me." Virgil said, his eyes still closed but with a small smile forming on his lips. Logan didn't know what to say to being caught staring, he didn't really want to say that it was because he realized he felt romantic feelings for him so he just hummed and turned his attention back to the book in his hand. Luckily Virgil did not seem to require an answer to his statement because he sat up in the bed and yawned, pushing the duvet of off himself.

"I had forgotten how good it feels to get a whole nights sleep with no interruptions from nightmares." He said with a contented sigh. Logan fumbled after his bookmark (a folded piece of paper that he had used for several months for several books, it had been stained by coffee and had chocolate fingerprints on it but it worked just perfect) and closed his book, setting it down on the nightstand again.

"What are you reading?" Virgil asked and Logan was happy to talk about something.

"It's a book about black holes. Did you know that the interesting relationship between string theory and black holes gives rise to more types of massive giants than found under conventional classical mechanics?"

"I did not understand a word of that, but it sounds fascinating." Virgil said with a grin, making Logan chuckle slightly.

"I might have researched some of the words used in that sentence when I first read them." Logan admitted, stepping out of the bed and walking over the cold floor towards his folded clothes on his chair. Virgil had scoffed at his habit to fold all of his clothes until Logan had asked if he had found his TARDIS socks that he had lost a month ago in the mess of his room. That had made him shut up.

"Let's eat some breakfast."

"If by breakfast you mean drink a glass of juice then alright." Virgil said, suffocating a yawn. Logan huffed and bit back what he wanted to reply. Virgil knew all of his arguments for him to eat a real breakfast and yet he never did so. Logan didn't understand why though, he had told him facts about how important it is to eat three full meals every day and used all of the logic that he could to try and convince him. And Virgil had agreed to everything he had said but yet he still refused to eat in the mornings. That made no sense to Logan at all. But then again, almost nothing about Virgil made any sense.

Maybe that was what intrigued him so much. Virgil was mysterious and Logan had always loved a good puzzle. But then again, he knew that no matter how much he wanted them too, his feelings couldn't be explained in such a simple way. Feelings: the bane of his existence. Why did they have to be so confusing? There was no easy way to understand them and they didn't make much sense.

--

They kept doing this, every night Virgil would sleep in Logan's room. Neither of them told Roman or Patton about their arrangement, it didn't seem necessary and Virgil still didn't want to tell them about his nightmares. Logan continued to be the only one who knew of them. He did think what they did was helping Virgil. His dreams weren't as horrible, they were still frequent but some nights were calm. And sometimes Logan managed to calm Virgil down without waking him up.

The first time that happened had been about five days since Virgil had agreed on letting Logan help him. Logan had woken up once again from hearing Virgil cry out, he had pushed himself away from Logan in his sleep and was gripping at the pillow underneath his head. Logan had reached his arms out and pulled Virgil close, rubbing slow circles on his back.

He wasn't sure why he had thought it'd work but it apparently did because Virgil had relaxed, even letting go of the abused pillow. Logan had continued doing that until he was certain that he had chased away all of Virgil's bad dreams. Then he had placed a gentle kiss on the now calmly sleeping boys cheek and tried to go back to sleep himself.

That worked many times and it made Logan happy to know that he could be of help. There were still nights where the dreams were really bad. During the worst nights they stayed up and watched movies since Virgil was too scared of his mind to try to get more sleep. He never spoke of those dreams, not even to Logan. Virgil had told him that it wasn't because he didn't trust him, he just didn't want to share those particular dreams with anyone.

Logan hopes that he will one day, he has talked to Patton and he said that talking about bad things could make things better, that it was easier to carry something if someone else helped. Patton had of course asked him why he would ask these things and he had answered that he was just doing research. Hopefully Patton had believed him.

There had been two reasons for him to ask Patton that, the first of course being Virgil and his refusal to talk of the dreams that troubled him the most, and the second being Logan and his feelings for Virgil. It was surprising how tempting it was to talk about it. He always felt like showing it in some way, by hugging or kissing or just something as simple as taking Virgil's hand.

He didn't of course, even though he wanted to. And he hadn't told any one about it either. He hadn't even written it down. But he really wanted to, because it was ...astonishing, the way Virgil could make Logan feel, and frustrating. And there never seemed to be a right time to tell him. Logan wasn't even sure how to articulate how he felt for him. This was the first time he had ever felt that his vocabulary wasn't big enough.

Virgil made him feel a lot of things for the first time.

Logan would probably have to speak to someone about it soon though, if not he feared that he'd burst into flames, or more realistically, shove Virgil against a wall and kiss him. He didn't think that was the most smooth way to let someone know how you felt, he'd rather do it in a better way. But if he was honest he didn't expect himself to tell him any time soon.

What Virgil needed right now was the help of a friend, not a... Whatever he had thought to finish that thought with he cut himself off. Virgil most likely did not return his feelings and if he then told him about how he felt then that might lead to Virgil feeling uncomfortable around him. Logan wanted to avoid that since he liked being close to the darker trait.

--

It had become a habit of Logan's to stay in bed until Virgil woke up, even if Virgil had never, so far, had a nightmare after 6am. That was the time that Logan used to wake up every day and eat breakfast. But now he read a book, some work files or just thought about things. Although if Logan was being honest then he would admit that when he wasn't distracting himself then his mind always wandered to Virgil.

He was always somewhat aware of when Virgil was close, what he was doing, and every time he smiled at him it'd make his heart swell. It was overall confusing how he felt and fascinating how strongly his feelings developed after he had realized the nature of them. The concept of falling in love was something he thought that he would never truly grasp, he was continually surprised over how small things such as smiles directed at him, a hand on his shoulder or a knowing look of agreement from Virgil could have the capacity to make a shiver go down his spine.

He had never even thought of the possibility of himself developing such feelings before it had happened. It was extraordinary, he couldn't explain how it felt even if he tried. And it was baffling and frustrating. But that was okay, for once he couldn't bring himself to hate the emotions he felt. There were no reason for him to feel hatred towards his ability to love.

Logan stared at the book in his hand, it was time to turn the page because he had reached the end of it, but he realized that he hadn't actually read a single word. He then decided to just give up, his mind was clearly occupied at the moment. Occupied, of course, by the side lying next to him. So he set down the book, not even bothering to move his book mark. Virgil didn't seem like he was going to wake up any time soon.

He was lying on his side facing Logan, this was one of the rare days where they didn't wake up cuddled close. The anxious side had shifted in his sleep and ended up almost out of Logan's reach during the night. Logan knew this because he had woken up briefly at the loss of body heat. Though his right hand was trapped because Virgil was lying on it.

This didn't stop him from now inching closer to the sleeping trait and throw his arm over his waist, placing his free hand on his back. There was something very comforting about the act of cuddling. And Logan didn't think that Virgil would mind it if he snuggled up to him, after all it was something they did every night now and Virgil had even stopped feeling awkward over it in the morning. Sometimes he even stayed close to him instead of leaving the bed to eat breakfast. Those were good mornings.

Now he was just lying there and admiring Virgil. He did realize how weird that was since they basically looked the same, but every small detail that made Virgil Virgil just captured Logan. He inwardly groaned when he felt his right hand begin to fall asleep, a tingling and stinging feeling spreading through it. He tried to wiggle it out from beneath Virgil, which was hard since he wanted to do it without waking him up, and if Logan had learned anything from sleeping in the same bed as Virgil for weeks it was that he woke up easily. Pretty much any sound or movement could wake him up. Virgil was always ready for something bad to happen, even in his sleep.

He eventually freed his hand, then shaking it slightly to stop the stinging sensation. It didn't really help so instead he rested it agains the mattress and went back to observing the sleeping side. He was tempted to check what time it was but the closest clock was on his nightstand and that was behind him, so looking at it would mean that he had to untangle himself from Virgil, and that wasn't tempting at all.

Virgil sighed and mumbled something in his sleep, making Logan have to suffocate a chuckle because it sounded like he had said something about bubbles. "You sure are confusing." Logan murmured quietly with a fond look on his face. Of course he didn't get a reply since Virgil wasn't awake. Though he doubt that Virgil would've known how to answer that question even if he was awake, so it didn't matter. He glanced down at Virgil's lips, then scoffing at himself. This was quite pathetic, wasn't it?

Then the lips he was staring at curled into a smile and said good morning to him. Logan doesn't know how it happened, or when he had decided to do it, but he closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against Virgil's for just a second before his brain caught up. He then jerked away from Virgil, mostly in fear. Did he just ruin everything? What if Virgil was going to hate him? Or laugh at him for being stupid enough to have these emotions?

Logan was aware of how hard his heart was beating, this wasn't the good kind though. Was this what anxiety felt like? He certainly didn't like it. He sat up, the covers falling off of him. Virgil was staring at him and Logan had no idea what Virgil was thinking. He looked quite stunned. His eyes were wide open and his lips were slightly parted. Logan desperately tried to find something to say.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ...done that. It was illogical of me." Logan managed to get out. But Virgil did none of those things, instead he sat up too, reached out his arms and placed them around Logan's neck so that their faces were once again mere inches away from each other. And then their lips connected for a second time. This kiss lasted longer, Logan had the time to feel Virgil's mouth move against his, he had the time to feel every nerve in his body respond, he had the time to learn just how amazing a kiss could be. Virgil's lips were softer than they looked and they fit very well with Logan's.

And then Virgil pulled back, causing Logan to chase his lips for a moment before opening his eyes again. He hadn't even realized he had closed them. He felt like he should say something, but Logan hadn't got a clue about what words could describe how he felt right now. So instead Logan brought his hand up to his mouth, touching his lips and smiling. Virgil was smiling too, his face flustered slightly pink and his eyes stuck on Logan.

"I have wanted to do that for a long time." Virgil said, his voice trembling slightly.

"Me too." Logan mumbled, his brain slowly beginning to actually comprehend what had just happened. Since he was now aware that Virgil liked him in some sort of way too he felt much more confident than what he had a few moments ago. "Can I kiss you again?"

Virgil only nodded, they both wasted no time and hurriedly locked lips again. They had waited long enough to be able to do this and now when the uncertainty of rejection wasn't holding them back anymore... they spent a long time kissing in bed that morning.

--

Written: 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 20th, 21st, 22nd February & 26th March 2018
Published: 9th April 2018
Words: 14893

This wasn't meant to be so long, ooops???? I hope no one minds hahah

Anyways, love you guys and your support! The best thing is the two days after I post a oneshot because the lovely comments you guys leave brighten up my day tremendously! 💕

My mum is back at the psychiatric hospital because of her depression :( I hope she won't be away for several weeks.