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Warnings: sad logan, logan isnt listened to, uhhh idk

Ik I don't have to say sorry but still sorry for like never publishing )):

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Logan was unsurprised to find his boyfriend sitting on his bed, he had suspected this might be the sight awaiting him, well aware Virgil had been watching along with the filming of the latest video even if he did not participate. Logan had sank up right into his room afterwards, while not having physically joined the video he had not been in his room meanwhile, knowing that if anyone wanted something they would go there to find him. He hadn't wanted to be disturbed.

"L." Virgil said rather softly and surely noticing how Logan wasn't meeting his eyes, and Logan walked right past him, towards his mirror. He loosened his tie, sighing quietly as he looked at his own reflection. He could see Virgil get up from the bed and come up behind him. Logan pulled the tie away and let it fall to the floor. 

"I'm fine." He said, near wincing at how untrue that sounded even to himself. Virgil placed his hands on Logan's hips, resting his chin on Logan's shoulder. 

"You sound like you're still Deceit. Or, well, Janus." Virgil said and Logan scowled at the mirror. Virgil wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. Usually such gestures of affection were pretty effective in improving Logan's mood, but he was unusually angry and disappointed, tired. He'd expected everything to be better now, during the video where Remus revealed himself they had all really listened to him, they had allowed him to help and use his knowledge for something good, finally.

This was a harsh pull back into reality. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Virgil asked, still holding onto him and Logan was slightly relieved that he hadn't let go yet. 

"No. Well... I don't know." He admitted, sighing deeply afterwards. Logan turned away from the mirror, not wanting to stand there and have to look at himself, stepping out of Virgil's hold even if he didn't really want to. He sat down on his bed where Virgil had previously sat, crossing his arms over his chest. Virgil stayed where Logan left him, looking unsure if he was allowed to follow. 

"It's so... so frustrating. They just-" An angry-sounding noise left him and he pressed his lips shut, staring at NASA poster on his wall and trying not to cry, because that would be very embarrassing, but there were tears wanting to escape his eyes. He would not allow himself to cry over this. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes until he felt somewhat pulled together. 

"I don't understand how it is so hard for them to just- to just listen to me." He continued, them deciding he better not say anything else because only saying that almost made him break down. He took a moment to only breathe, composing himself. Then he uncrossed his arms, reaching out for Virgil because he wants him there with him rather than standing across the room. Virgil didn't hesitate and climbed into bed with him, first hugging him and then sitting close and with an arm around Logan's shoulders. 

"Talking about it can probably help, but it can wait until later, when you feel ready to. For now, would you rather be distracted?" Virgil asked.

"Yes, I think so." He said, even if he had no distraction in mind that would suffice. He was reaching a breaking point when it came to not being listened to, had been for very long now. Logan was tired of being dismissed and ignored. 

"Alright, how'd you like to be distracted? A walk in the imagination, tv show or movie, documentary, read a book, play a game of chess or cards, play video games, take a bath, cuddle, solve a crossword or sudoku together, go stargaze in the imagination?" Virgil rambled, likely suggesting anything he could think of. Logan pondered that for a moment, liking the thought of chess but also cuddles, and those were difficult to do simultaneously. 

"Maybe a game of chess and then cuddles afterwards." He decided finally. Chess to get his mind off of everything that had got him in such a bad mood, and then cuddles to make him feel somewhat okay again.

(How he hoped none of the others would ever find out how he enjoyed cuddles with Virgil, or even about their relationship at all, they'd never take him serious, as logic Logan needed to be professional above all. Though, then again, they didn't show him much respect anyway.) 

"Sounds like a plan." Virgil said and conjured up a small table next to the bed, with the game already on and chess pieces in purple and blue instead of black and white. Virgil stood from the bed and Logan followed, though hesitating before sitting by the table. He'd been struck by the thought of him borrowing Virgil's hoodie, because he had felt so much colder as soon as Virgil had let go of him, and he didn't exactly have a hoodie of his own.

"What is it?" Virgil asked after giving him a look and Logan searched for the words, unsure how to ask for such a thing. He had the words, it just felt weirdly awkward to ask for such a thing.

"May I borrow your hoodie?" He said after moments of silence and at first Virgil seemed stunned at the request and Logan wondered if he should take it back, but then Virgil nodded and pulled his hoodie off, draping it around Logan's shoulders with a smile. 

Logan hesitantly put it on, thinking that maybe he should conjure up a hoodie of his own to not rob Virgil of what was clearly a comfort object, but his boyfriend didn't seem to mind and the hoodie smelled like him and it was big and warm and the next best thing if Logan couldn't have Virgil's arms around him.

It was bigger than he had anticipated, with the sleeves slipping down his hands now and then, and it was surprisingly heavy, though Logan could understand the reasons behind the heaviness, he did have extensive knowledge of everything to soothe anxiety.

"It is comfortable." He admitted and smiled a little at his boyfriend. He didn't much like smiling, especially not when feeling like he currently did, but it was a good way to show that he was grateful of Virgil's generosity, not to mention that Virgil had several times told him he enjoyed seeing his smile.

"Good, you look ad- I mean, you can borrow it whenever, especially if it makes you feel better when you're upset." Virgil said with a shrug. Logan sat down by the small chess table and began putting his blue chess pieces up and placing them in the right spots. Virgil sat down opposite of him and did the same with the purple pieces.

Chess was something they'd played a lot together, before either of them understood or even developed the feelings they now had for each other, Logan enjoyed playing with Virgil, he was a worthy opponent, Logan even lost sometimes.

"I know you don't want to talk about it yet, but can I just say something about it?" Virgil asked as Logan was pondering his first move and he waited until he had moved a piece before finally nodding.

"Go ahead." He said and the sleeves of the hoodie had slipped over his hands yet again but he just let his hands bury into the pockets without pulling the sleeves up.

"I just want you to know that, as Anxiety who always had to be scary to be listened to, it sucked, and I'm still not that listened to but it's better, but anyway. We all are awful at listening to each other, too busy being sure we are the one with the perfect solution to the current problem. But anyway, they really don't mean to be rude by ignoring you, I don't think they at all understand that it hurts you this much, and if they were aware they'd make a much bigger effort to let you speak." Virgil said, and it maybe wasn't all very eloquently put but it got the point across and Logan nodded again.

He was sure that was true, neither Roman nor Patton would deliberately ignore him with the purpose of hurting him, but it was frustrating how they could possibly not notice they were doing it to the extent as they were.

"Personally I think we would all benefit from listening to you a bit more. You're the best source of knowledge we have and from looking at all the times before when we've been struggling, like with the intrusive thoughts especially, we do need you and you're important, I don't want you to forget that." Virgil said and then quieted which made Logan assume he was done for now.

He smiled at his boyfriend, pushing one of the sleeves up from his hand to move one of his chess pieces without pushing all the others over. "Thank you."

Virgil reached out to take Logan's free hand, holding onto him throughout the entire game. Logan was still frustrated, and angry too if he would allow himself to think too much about this all, but at least he felt less ...sad and ignored now. Virgil would always be there to calm him and listen to him.

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Written: 30th June & 1st July 2020
Published: 12th October 2020
Words: 1616

hi excuse me let me just say what the fuck

Hshdhd?? Thank you, 500k is literally insane

Like... 500k is that goal u secretly want to reach but dont tell anyone because it's such an unrealistic wish

Fngbfk thank you ily <3 <3