Idk how this happened but here ya go

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Virgil stared at Roman who was yelling something. At first he had just ignored the things that Roman had said, but then Thomas had chimed in with something negative too. Virgil knew that Thomas didn't say it to be mean but it had hurt nonetheless and it had also caused Roman to become fueled up once again. This time Patton had spoken up though.

"Roman, stop it." Patton scolded, looking a bit angry but that only made Roman turn to him in stead, yelling to Patton not to get involved. Logan only looked a bit confused at the scene in front of him and Virgil guessed that he had no idea what was going on or what to do about it.

"It's not my fault Virgil can't do his job!" Roman protested loudly and Virgil had had enough. He was trying his best, why did no one ever see that? He couldn't stop himself from losing the little control over himself that he still had.

"SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP!" Virgil screamed and threw his arms out in the air, making Roman flinch and turn back to face him. Everyone was quiet now, not even Patton said something to try to calm him down.

"I'm just trying to-" Virgil started, yelling, when he suddenly felt all the anger he had just felt disappear and leave room for another feeling instead. He was tired, tired and sad. Why did they always have to come at him when something had gone wrong, couldn't they just leave him alone? Even though they all knew that Roman was in a bad mood today, did he have to take it out on them? On him? Roman being in a pissy mood had made Virgil regret showing up immediately, he had actually expected Roman to lash out on him but he had also expected himself to be able to take it. But apparently he couldn't.

"I'm just..." He continued, this time his words were almost a whisper. He hated it, he hated it when his body betrayed him. He wished he was still screaming, even if it hurt his throat. He wanted them to keep seeing him as someone who didn't care much about anything, if they never thought the things they said got to him then he could keep pretending that they didn't, but his defenses were crumbling and he knew it.

"I- I-" His voice was unsteady and barely more than a whisper, he felt a shudder run through his body and he saw that the other saw it too. Patton and Logan looked stunned while Roman stopped looking angry and instead got a surprised look on his face. Virgil's voice hitched in his throat and his eyes welled up with tears. He pulled up his hood and wiped his tears away at the same time, he hoped that no one had seen but on the look on their faces he knew they all had.

A strangled noise came out of his mouth when he opened it again to say something and he clasped his hand over his mouth. He did manage to mumble some swear words when he realized that new tears had gathered in his eyes and escaped down his face. He angrily wiped them away again and his hand got wet and smudged with black eyeshadow. He should've wore the waterproof one.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-" He whispered and took a couple of shaky breaths while hiding his face in his hands. Not even Thomas said anything, and Virgil had expected him to tell Virgil not to swear while the camera was on, but he stood silent. Virgil could feel his body shaking with every sob. He saw Patton reach out for him, he didn't want anyone's pity so he stumbled backwards and sank out of the room. The others looked horrified, even Roman did, when he disappeared.

When he got himself into his room he just grabbed his duvet and threw it over himself in the darkest corner he could find in his room. Under it Virgil just tried to calm himself down. He hated crying, he absolutely despised it. It only made people think your either weak or too touchy. Or they would pity him. He hated pity. And he had cried in front of all of the others. In front of Logan, Patton, Thomas and Roman. Great, he can't wait until Roman will start tormenting him for being weak and crying. He wiped his face with the sleeves of his hoodie. He suspected he had makeup all over his face now but he didn't care.

Virgil suddenly heard footsteps in his room and he guessed that one of them had come after him. It was probably Roman who came to tell his he was being silly. Virgil held his breath, maybe the person would just go away if he was silent. After all he was hidden under his duvet in a dark corner. But the dream of being left alone got crushed as the steps came closer and he heard whoever it was sit down in front of him. Virgil was ready to yell at them to go away when he heard someone softly say his name. It wasn't Roman who had come to continue teasing him, it was Logan.

Virgil shook his head, muttering "Virgil isn't home right now." Which probably only resulted in the cover he was hiding under to move slightly.

"No, I'm pretty sure he is right here." Logan continued, patting the duvet lightly. "And I was wondering if Virgil wanted a hug, because quite frankly, Roman was acting like an asshole." Hearing Logan say the word asshole actually made him chuckle, he was one of the last people Virgil though would use a word like that.

"You don't need to pity me." He said, tasting salt on his tongue from his tears that still refused to stop trickling down his face. He had to breathe through his mouth because his nose was stuffed. He probably looked disgusting right now and naturally Logan had to choose this moment to pull the covers away from him. He squinted at the bright light, Logan must have turned on the lights. Virgil almost never did that, he likes his room better when it's darker. He dries his face against the black duvet (and makes a mental note to wash them before using them again since they're now covered in tears, makeup and snot) before he turns his face away from the other side.

"Virgil, I don't pity you, I care about you. There's a difference."

"Well that's stupid. I'm worthless so caring about me will only lead to disappointment." Virgil said, glaring at Logan. The words made him look upset, even though Virgil can't imagine why.

"Don't say that. We both know that's a lie, you are just as important as any of us." Virgil just scoffs at that.

"Do you really think I'd lie to you, Virgil?" He glares at Logan, ready to say something harsh because yes he does, no one has any reason to like him, but he is surprised when he sees that Logan looks completely sincere. Without a warning he scooted closer to Virgil and pulls him into a hug. At first he doesn't know what to do, he's never been hugged by any of the sides before (even though Patton has tried countless times but Virgil had hid in his room every time), but after a few seconds he wraps his arms around the logical side, returning the hug.

It was actually really nice, Virgil had to admit that he liked it. He shivered and Logan tightened his grip around him, he probably thought he was cold. Virgil was not cold at all though. He did know that Logan never lied, he didn't see the logic in lying nor did he see the need with sugarcoating things. Logan was always very blunt. But Virgil still couldn't believe that Logan was serious when he said that Virgil was just as important as the others. And did he really care about him? Virgil knows that the others have to care to some extent, he was a facet of Thomas' personality after all, but that Logan would really care about him was ...unlikely, to say the least. Logan always said he didn't have any emotions.

"No one really cares about me. You guys just care because I'm a part of Thomas' personality so you have to." Virgil started, saying exactly what he had just thought. Logan gently pushed Virgil away from himself so that they were face to face again. Virgil looked away for a second time, he almost expected him to agree and leave Virgil alone, maybe parts of him wished Logan would leave. But he also knew those parts of him lied.

"Virgil, that's not true. Patton and Thomas loves you and so does Roman. And before you say anything, yes Roman can be insensitive and cruel sometimes because he rarely think through the things he says when he's upset, but he cares about you. After you left I had to stop him from going after you, he really regrets everything he said. But I didn't think you'd want him here so I told him no. And I love you. We all love you. You might choose not to believe that, but it's true." When Logan said the last couple of sentences Virgil turns his head back and looks at Logan. He hopefully doesn't look as surprised as he feel. Logan's cheeks are slightly rose colored and Virgil can barely believe it, Logan cares about him for real? And Logan is blushing? What is going on, this is the most emotion Virgil has ever seen Logan show.

"Well what happened to Mr Robot?" Virgil asks, curious for real, but he can't help but to smile at the other side who's sitting right in front of him. Logan smiles a somewhat tired smile back at Virgil.

"I am assuming you are referring to me and the fact that I claim to not have any emotions. And honestly, that is more of a wish than a truth. I try not to feel because it's not very beneficial to my purpose, but I can't change the fact that I care a lot about all of you." He said with his hands rested on Virgil's shoulders

"And even if I'm not very good at understanding or displaying emotion that doesn't mean I won't try when I feel the need to. Like now, I deemed that showing emotions would be the most successful way to help you feel better. Hopefully it is working." Logan said, suddenly looking slightly worried so Virgil guessed that he feared that maybe he wasn't doing this the right way. Virgil felt a wave of affection for Logan, almost surprising himself. It was usually small things that Logan did that made Virgil feel this way and it hadn't happened in a while so Virgil had hoped that it had gone away for good, but there it was.

"Don't worry, you've made me feel much better. See, I'm not crying anymore." He gestured at his own face, immediately regretting it because now Logan looked away from Virgil's eyes and instead looked at his face. Virgil at least hoped that he had gotten most of the tears and makeup away when he'd wiped his face on his duvet that was lying on the floor by his side. He doubted that he was looking very attractive right now, his eyes were probably red and swollen from the crying too. Logan reached up and rubbed some of his fingers over Virgil's cheek. When Logan pulled his hand back he could see that his fingers were black from eyeshadow.

Virgil stood up, if he had black streaks of makeup all over his face he wanted to remove it. That was another reason why crying sucked, it ruined whatever makeup he was currently wearing. He found some makeup wipes in front of his mirror. In the mirror he could see that he had even got some of it on his forehead. He guessed it was from rubbing his face on his duvet. He sighed and started cleaning it off. He also handed one to Logan so that he could clean off his fingers. He then saw a mug of water on his desk and realized how thirsty he was. He downed the water in two seconds, it tasted a bit like if you would chew on a cartoon box so he guessed the water had probably been standing on his desk for at least a couple of days. He was just about to put the cup down again when he felt someone stare at him, so he looked up and saw Logan with his eyes fixed on him.

"What?" Virgil asked, his face heating up. People staring at him made him very uncomfortable, it didn't really matter who was staring.

"Oh, it's nothing. I have just never seen you without your makeup on before." Logan said and Virgil realized that that was true. This was the first time anyone had ever seen him while not wearing it. He was glad that it was Logan who was the first one to see that, it had probably made him more anxious if it was someone else. His makeup was kind of like a mask that he hid behind and he was the most comfortable around Logan. He put the cup down with a small thud.

"Do you want to go out to the others again?" Logan asked and Virgil shook his head. Even if Roman regretted making him upset he wasn't ready to talk to him yet. They had become much better friends lately so everything Roman had said had hurt a bit more than it had before that.

"I'll do that tomorrow." He said with a yawn. Another thing that sucked with crying, it made him so damn tired. It's like all his energy had left him together with the tears that had left his eyes.

"I need to rest a bit first, watch a movie or something, I haven't got energy enough to do something else." Logan nodded and stood silent, he probably didn't know if he should go or not.

"You want to stay and watch something with me? I'd ...rather not be alone." It had been surprisingly hard for him to admit that, but having Logan here had been really nice and Virgil didn't want him to leave.

"I'd like that," He said with a smile. "What are we going to watch?" He then asked as he sat down on Virgil's bed. Virgil just shrugged and threw his phone towards Logan. It landed a feet or two away from him on the bed.

"Whatever you can find on Netflix." He looked at Logan while he took the phone up and started to carefully scroll through lists of movies, tv shows and documentaries while frowning at the poorly written summaries. Virgil smiled at that and the same feeling as earlier welled up inside him. He suspected that he should talk to Logan about those feelings specifically, but that he would do some other day. Now he just wanted to enjoy watching something with Logan.

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Written: 27th January 2018
Published: 20th February 2018
Words: 2604

The fridge sounds like it's breathing and I'm scared???????????

Edit 20th february: oops was gonna publish this like three days ago (I try to update like every three days?) but I forgot lol. Also this isn't the best but I'll publish it anyways😂