Sentence prompt (from -mind_control): "Do you think you could teach me... how to love?"

99.9% sure it's absolutely nothing like what u had in mind but well that's the wonder of sentence pronpts haha

Warnings: nah

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Logan knocked on Roman's door with the feeling of regret already creeping up at him. The door swung open and he was met with Roman, giving him a confused and almost suspicious stare. That did not make him feel any better about his decision.

"What's up, nerd? I don't often find you outside my door." He said, stepping aside and presumably inviting Logan into his room. Logan drew a slow breath, hands pressed together tightly as he hesitated. This was his last chance to decide this was a dumb idea, he could tell Roman that he changed his mind, or figured it out himself, or say that he only came to remind him that it was his turn to do the dishes today.

But instead of doing any of those things he stepped into Roman's room and the door was closed behind him. Roman was clearly waiting for an answer and Logan supposed that if he was not turning back he might as well get it out with.

"Do you think you could teach me... how to love?" Logan said, definitely not as confidently as he would have liked, but he still asked and that's got to count for something.

"What? Teach you how to- Wow, Logan, never thought I'd hear you ask me that! But, um, yeah, of course I'll try to help. But can I ask a question?" Roman babbled, clearly not having expected that to be what Logan had came there for, and Logan stubbornly stared at him.

"Yes. Go ahead." He said, hoping that the question wasn't going to be difficult to answer.

"Why do you all of a sudden want to learn how to love?" He said and Logan pushed his glasses up before clasping his hands together yet again.

"The simple answer is; Virgil." Logan said, thinking that was a sufficient enough answer but knowing that Roman would not agree. Roman raised his brows and blinked, not saying anything at first and instead simply stepping backwards and sitting down on his bed.

"Oh? And why would our dear Virgil have you asking me to teach you how to love?" Roman asked, and Logan got the sudden urge to avert his eyes so he didn't have to look at Roman. Did everyone else feel this embarrassed to talk about these sort of things or was it just him who had developed a fault?

"Well, he... I'm not quite sure. Virgil just has me wishing that- Okay, I cannot quite explain it. Virgil just causes me to, uh, want to love him?" Logan said, feeling how he became more nervous by the second. He was not sure at all how he'd gotten the idea to talk to Roman about all this. But he needed advice.

Logan supposed he was desperate, but that he did of course not mention out loud.

"Why do you want to love him?" Roman asked, for once not sounding too interested or suspicious or too excited, he was calm and quietly awaiting Logan's response. It didn't make Logan much less nervous.

"I- I don't-" Logan started, stumbling over his words and writhing his hands together. His thoughts were jumbled when it came to Virgil, and really articulating them was difficult.

"Hey, take your time. Sit down, breathe, and explain as well as you can. I'll phrase the question differently; what about Virgil makes you want to love him?" Roman said, patting the space on his bed next to where he was sat.

Logan walked up to Roman and sat down next to him, slightly surprised at how helpful Roman was really being. Or that he was trying to help him at all. Asking himself why he wanted to love Virgil was a good way to go when it came to figuring himself out he supposed.

"Virgil simply makes me want to be closer to him. His smile causes me to barely have control of my own. He spends time with me out of free will and he listens attentively when I speak, and he... he's so much cleverer than he thinks. Talking to Virgil is always interesting and it makes me feel... joy. So much so that nowadays the sound of his voice causes a strange sort of fluttery sensation in my chest." Logan took a deep breath before continuing.

"Despite us having the same appearance in regards to our bodies, I still find myself taking a liking to the small differences that makes Virgil different from the rest of us. Not in the sense that I wish myself to look like he does, I'm quite satisfied with myself, I simply appreciate how he dresses and the fact that his eyes are a darker shade of brown than ours and how he's paler than we are and how well his makeup goes with his skin tone and how the tips of his ears will go pink when he's flustered."

"Despite us always having had a lot of differences we never argue anymore, and spending time with Virgil is always much less complicated than it is with you others. No offence, I of course enjoy your and Patton's company too, but Virgil is easy to be around somehow, it makes me feel, uh, happy when I'm around him." He glanced at Roman before continuing.

"His presence rarely fails to cheer me up, or make me feel more comfortable. I find myself always longing to be near him. And because of all that, and some more, I want you to teach me how to love so I can love Virgil just like he deserves to be loved." Logan said.

There was a long silence, Roman staring at him with his mouth slightly agape. Logan had the time to wonder if there had been anything wrong with his explanation. Why was Roman looking at him like that?

"I don't think you need me to teach you how to love, you seem to be managing quite well on your own." Roman said, smiling almost proudly at him which made Logan feel odd. Why would Roman be proud of him?

"What do you mean?" He said, swallowing, discovering that his mouth was very dry and wishing that he had a glass of water.

"That, all of which you just described, that's love. You're in love with Virgil." Roman said, almost sounding as if he was in awe. "Logan, you're so in love with him already."

Logan felt his face burn, and he actually looked away.

"No! ...Well, yes, but not enough. He is totally unaware of my... liking of him. I need to love him correctly. Otherwise he won't- um, he won't-" Logan stopped speaking to let out an irritated huff. Speaking his mind felt impossible at times. He did not have the vocabulary to explain these things in a way that anyone but him would understand. And he barely understood himself and his thoughts when it came to these emotions anyway.

"So what you're really asking is for me to teach you ...how to tell Virgil you love him?" Roman questioned, sounding unsure if he understood Logan correctly. Logan's eyes widened a smidge and he was quick to shake his head.

"I don't want to tell him." Logan said hurriedly. Roman just gave him a look that he had trouble reading.

"Logan, buddy, you know Virgil as well as us others, if not more. He is most likely far too anxious to even dare to believe you love him, no matter how many signs you send and hints you give. You're going to have to tell him and then maybe also convince him you're serious." Roman said, and Logan could not deny that there was truth in Roman's statement.

All evidence Logan had gathered from Virgil's behaviour as the embodiment of Anxiety pointed towards the fact that Virgil only believed the worst would happen and never dared believe in good things. So chances were that if Virgil regarded Logan loving him as a good thing or in any way returned his affections he would be reluctant to believe that Logan as a matter of fact loved him.

Crap, Logan hadn't thought that far.

"I... Alright then." Logan muttered, deeply wishing he would not end up regretting coming to Roman for help. He had been helpful so far, Logan supposed, and he definitely knew emotions better than Logan did.

"Okay, I shall do my best to help you!" Roman said excitedly, slightly turning back to his less serious and more upbeat self.

"Okay." Logan isn't sure how he should feel about the fact that Roman is going to advising him on how to talk to Virgil about Logan's situation when it comes to romantic attraction. Roman is probably one of the best to ask, though Patton would surely be helpful too, but last time Logan had seen him he'd been baking cookies with Virgil in the kitchen and he did not want to disturb them in the midst of their baking.

"Of course I would love to suggest a grand gesture but, no offense, neither you nor Virgil seem like the kind of person to care about such things, it'd possibly just scare Virgil. No, we need another approach." Roman stood up, beginning to pace back and forth through his room, Logan stared doubtfully at him.

Logan had trouble seeing how he was supposed to just... tell Virgil about these feelings. It was not exactly a topic that Logan felt especially confident talking about.

"How about- hear me out now, how about you go knock on Virgil's door, and then you tell him, 'Virgil, I'd like to speak to you'?" Roman suggested, then immediately shook his head before Logan had the time to think it over.

"No, no, that would terrify Virgil, I know he's mentioned how he hates when people say they want to talk. Something about it being really anxiety inducing." Roman mumbled, sounding as if he was mostly speaking to himself and no longer really giving Logan any thought.

"You need to get his attention and let him know you need to talk to him, but without making him worry-" Roman began.

"That might actually be near impossible." Logan said, and Roman made a grimache which confirmed what Logan had said.

"True, but let's try and give Virgil as little to worry about as possible."

"Good call... see, this is why I can't do this myself, I'd say the wrong thing and upset him somehow without even realizing and then I'd have ruined it." Logan said, maybe for a second allowing himself to spiral, imagining how many ways he could ruin this. He was not the best equipped to handle this, that was for sure. But Logan forced those thoughts away for now.

"I get your concern. But, uh, how about you just go to him and say you want to hang out? You two are good friends, Virgil wouldn't find it weird that you want to spend time with him. And then when the opportunity arises you just tell him. Maybe use Virgil's ripping-off-the-bandaid technique if it's hard to say. Really, I think the important thing to focus on is to just actually say it. Preferably quickly too."

"I mean, this is Virgil we're speaking about, the sooner you tell him the less time he will have to worry." Roman made the finger gun gestures with his hands, and Logan ignored it, unsure what it meant and how he should respond.

"Yes, that is quite true. The smartest move is to get it out as soon as possible before Virgil has the time to worry. Yes." Logan said and nodded slowly. This was probably as well as he could plan on telling Virgil. He didn't want to be stuck here brainstorming with Roman all day. It was better to just get it out with.

"Anyway, I get the feeling Virgil likes you too, Logan." Roman said with a dismissive wave of his hand, as if what he said was not something important.

"You do?" Logan asked, finding this topic of conversation quite interesting. There was a fluttery feeling of hope in his chest. If he knew the outcome his conversation with Virgil would have it would surely be easier for him to speak.

"Yeah, it's just the way he looks at you when you're not aware of it. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better about it, you want facts don't you?" Roman said.

"You are correct, that proves nothing to me." Logan said, standing up. There was nothing left for them to talk about, and Logan might as well get on with what he had to do now. Logan reached a hand out and placed it on Roman's shoulder.

"Thank you for your, ah, assistance with this matter. I am grateful." He said, the words felt strange in his mouth but surely no stranger than what he was about to tell Virgil. He patted Roman's shoulder, feeling terribly awkward as he was doing so, and then he let his hand fall to his side again.

"You're welcome, now go get yourself an emo boyfriend!" He grinned widely and Logan nodded dumbly, turning around and walking out of Roman's room. The door shut behind him and Logan took a few steps forward before finding himself stopping in the middle of the hallway.

He reached up to fix his tie, then smoothing down his hair and hoping it looked good, trying to think of exactly what it was he was going to say. Logan felt strangely self conscious. Maybe because he was in a while going to make himself very vulnerable. He was not used to talking so openly about his feelings, especially not to two people in one day.

Perhaps he looked a bit weird, standing in the middle of the hallway and mouthing explanations and confessions to no one, but no one saw him anyway and he needed to make at least a vague plan of what to say once he and Virgil could talk.

It was possible that Virgil was still in the kitchen with Patton, the two baking cookies, and if so this whole thing would have to wait, but Logan thought that he might as well check Virgil's room before doing the easy thing and let the confession of his feelings wait until later.

Logan took a deep breath and walked up to Virgil's door. He knocked, not expecting to get an answer, but the door was opened a few moments later and Logan found himself standing face to face with Virgil. A small smile tugged at Virgil's lips as his eyes fell on Logan.

"Hey, Lo. What brings you to this part of the mindscape?" He said and held his door up. Logan entered, suppressing the urge to nervously fiddle with his hands since Virgil surely would pick up on it. Now that Virgil was actually right here with him it all seemed much scarier than it had as he was stood in the hallway and it had seemed a daunting task even then.

"Can't I just be here because I enjoy your company?" He asked Virgil, glancing at him, and Virgil flustered slightly, obviously biting back a smile now.

"Nerd. Of course oy can. But I can tell you have something to say, so get it out with." Logan felt Virgil briefly squeeze his shoulder as he walked past him.

"Well, make yourself comfortable." Virgil said, and he flopped down on his bed, Logan's eyes lingering on him for just a moment too long before he looked around the room. He pulled out the chair by Virgil's desk, turning it so he was facing where Virgil was lying, and he sat down.

"Alright, so." Logan started, feeling as if he could have sounded a bit more confident. Virgil sat back up.

"You look nervous. Has something happened? Oh god, who's died?" Virgil rambled, immediately drawing the worst conclusion. This had already gotten off to a bad start and Logan shook his head to calm him.

"No, no one has died. At least no one of Thomas' friends or family. To my knowledge. Um, let's drop this subject, it was not why I came here. Nothing bad has happened." Logan said and saw how Virgil visibly relaxed.

"Oh, okay. Good. What then?" Virgil asked and Logan regretfully realized that he had to say what he had come here to speak about.

"You see, it seems that I, uh..." Logan began, feeling as if this was not going as smoothly as he would have liked.

"Oh no, what did you do?" Virgil said, sounding as if he expected Logan to have done something he was not supposed to and Logan scrunched his nose and gave Virgil a glance.

"I haven't done anything!" He said, and Virgil grinned at him, and Logan realized he might have just been joking or tried to annoy Logan. Logan sighed and he stood back up. Sitting down was not working for him, he'd rather be standing up as he spoke to Virgil.

Standing in front of Virgil, trying not to stare at him too much, he tried his best to make the words in his mind piece together into a coherent sentence. Whatever he had planned to say had escaped his mind as soon as Virgil had opened the door and smiled at him.

He better just say exactly what he was thinking and feeling, then.

"It's just became clear to me that I have a lot more feelings than I like to pretend I have. And I have a lot of feelings for you," Logan paused for a second, attempting to swallow down his nerves (it did not work), but he might as well finish his sentence, "Virgil, I love you."

"Oh." It slips from Virgil's lips seemingly accidentally as Virgil seems a bit too busy staring at him at the moment. Logan resists the urge to look away.

"Yeah." Logan said, slightly disappointed that that was all Virgil said. It didn't point towards him returning the feelings, did it? But he was going to allow Virgil to catch up a bit with the events and think of something to say. Virgil most likely had not expected this to be what Logan had came to speak about.

"Sorry, I realize that you might want a response that's a bit more, uh, yeah." Virgil said, clearing his throat and pulling at his hoodie strings. Virgil stood up he too, eyes still fixed on Logan.

"Take your time, I'm not going to demand an immediate response." Logan said, ignoring the fact that his heart was beating faster than normal and that he would very much like it if he got a response sometime soon.

"Thanks. Uh. I'm just really shocked right now, and glad, and a little bit terrified, and also I really didn't expect this, I didn't ever think you could like me back. But I like you too. Of course I do, Logan, you're really... I don't know if I can really explain it, but I definitely feel the same. Um, I'm going to shut up now, I'm rambling way too much. Are you sure you like me?" Virgil babbled, pressing his lips shut and staring at Logan.

Logan couldn't help but to let out a small chuckle, but then realized Virgil might not take that well and he quieted. Logan took a careful step forward, closer to Virgil.

"Yes, Virgil. I'm sure I like you. Believe me I would not be here telling you that I love you unless I was really sure that that was indeed the case." Logan grasped Virgil's hands in his and smiled, a small but hopefully reassuring smile.

"I love you, and from your ramble I gather that you do seem to return these feelings. Correct?" He said and Virgil nodded. Logan noticed that Virgil's face and the tips of his ears were noticeably more pink now than they'd been a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, I do. I love you." Virgil said, the smallest of smiles on his lips and the way he looked at Logan, plus the meaning of the words he was saying, made Logan feel that flutter in his chest.

"Great, would you then perhaps agree to being my boyfriend?" Logan said, barely believing his own bravery. He never thought he would get this far.

"Yeah, okay, yeah." Virgil said, nodding, smiling wider than he usually allowed himself to.

"Splendid." Logan said, leaning in and brushing a kiss to Virgil's cheek, which caused him to flush a brighter shade of pink. Logan looked down at their entwined hands, then back up at Virgil. He wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to do now, but he'd like to spend some time with Virgil.

"How about we watch a movie? If you'd like to." He asked, thinking that that might be a good activity. They'd be focused on the movie and hopefully not feel too nervous around each other, and it was a good opportunity for perhaps hand holding or some physical contact of similar sorts.

"Yeah, sure, it sounds like a good idea." Virgil said, still sounding like he was slightly dazed or shocked by everything that had happened, but he was smiling, and Logan loved seeing that. He smiled back, and then the two of them were moving to sit down on Virgil's couch, Logan letting go of one of Virgil's hands so they could move easier.

Logan did not mind at all how much closer than normal they were sat, or the fact that they were still holding hands. And he found himself repeatedly glancing at Virgil, each time amazed at the realization that Virgil was his boyfriend.

Perhaps this whole 'love' thing was not too hopeless for even Logan to master. Even if he had practically no idea what he was doing.

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Written: 19th, 20th, 21st, 25th, 26th & 27th August 2019
Published: 17th October 2019
Words: 3735

Me: *sacrifices sleep to write*
Me: *wakes up tired*
Me:
Me: what kind of bullshit-

Also uhhh I have two tests tomorrow rip me but I am pretty hopeful that I'm only gonna fail one of them!!