Human au

Warnings: accidental insult, self deprecation, swearing, brief mention of virgil having a therapist 

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Virgil wasn't exactly sure why he was nervous bringing his boyfriend of two months over to his apartment. But he was. Which he felt was kind of stupid, because he had been over at Logan's apartment several times, and Logan had never seemed nervous about having him over.

But yesterday Virgil had called Logan (yes, called, even though he hated calling people he liked hearing Logan's voice) and he had asked if he would like to come over. Not necessarily for a date, but just so they could hang out, order some takeout and just watch a movie. Or play something on Virgil's xbox. 

Just because they were adults didn't mean they couldn't have fun.

But here they were, having entered Virgil's apartment a good ten minutes ago, and everything was going smoothly. Really, there was no need to feel worried. 

One of the first things Logan had said was that he liked Virgil's apartment. He'd said something along the lines of Virgil's apartment being cozy and home-y. Virgil definitely took that as a good thing, because if Logan liked the apartment then that meant he was not opposed to spending more time there, and that was definitely good.

Virgil really did like spending time with Logan, and maybe having dated two months wasn't much, but Virgil couldn't help having hope for their relationship. Things with Logan were just easy.

And now he was sitting on the couch, watching as Logan was inspecting his bookshelf, pointing out books he had read, letting his hand run along the backs of the books. Logan absolutely loved books. And perhaps it was because Virgil was an author that that fact about Logan endeared him so much.

"I've read this book, I enjoyed it. Have you read it yet?" Logan said and pulled a book out from the shelf, holding it out so Virgil could see what book it was he was talking about. Virgil nodded.

"Yeah, I've read it and I think it was really good. Made me think." Virgil said, hoping that didn't make it sound as if he was dumb.

"Exactly. I love a book that makes you question your morals." Logan said appreciatively and giving him a smile.

Virgil wasn't entirely sure why Logan was looking through his bookshelf, but he was being cute, and Virgil liked listening to him talking, so he was going to let Logan continue pointing out all the books he liked. Plus, Logan having his focus on something else meant Virgil could look at him without being caught.

"Harry Potter, of course. These books looks like they've been read too. Good to know I'm dating a sane person." Logan said, and even if he was still turned away from Virgil he swore he could hear on his voice that he was smiling.

"Of course. If someone does not own every book of Harry Potter then you cannot trust their taste in books." Virgil said, actually managing to make Logan laugh. That might be one of his favorite things nowadays, making Logan laugh. God, Virgil thought Logan's smile was the most beautiful thing.

Logan let his fingers run along another row of books, searching for titles he recognized. Virgil leaned his head in his hand, watching Logan, glad he wasn't turning around, because he was probably looking exactly like people were described to look when seeing their crush. Metaphorical heart-eyes and all.

"Oh, I've wanted to read this book for years but I've never gotten around to it." He said, and Virgil couldn't see what book it was, but that didn't really matter.

"You can borrow it if you want." Virgil said, and Logan turned around to smile brightly at him.

"Really? That's very sweet of you, Virgil, thank you." He said, then turning back around and leaving Virgil to try and calm the butterflies in his stomach down. It was not easy, and he feared this was a battle he might not win. Not if Logan continued smiling at him like that.

"You've got these books? This is my favorite series." Logan said with barely contained excitement, and Virgil hummed softly and refocused his eyes and attention on Logan to see which books he was talking about. He froze. Not that Logan noticed, still standing with his back to Virgil.

"Re- really?" Virgil asked, forcing himself to do anything else than staring at Logan in silence. After all maybe Logan would turn around if there was no response and them find it weird that Virgil was staring at him in shock.

It was only the small fact that the books Logan was currently talking about were the books that Virgil himself had written. Not that Logan knew that, not that anyone knew that, since Virgil was using a pen name.

"Yes, really. I just love the plot and the characters. The entire world and the way the characters make their way through their lives, it's all so clever. Not to mention how interesting the plot is. I can never put these books down once I start reading." Logan said, fingers drumming against the backs of the books, and Virgil was definitely flustered by now, and very happy that Logan was still standing turned around.

"I am seriously impressed by these books. Sure, I own and read a lot of books, and I love almost all of them. But this book series is just so... inspiring and thrilling. Maybe it makes me sound a bit mainstream since the author and his books have became so popular, but I'm not lying when I say these are really my favorite books." Logan rambled, and Virgil had no idea what to do with himself, or what to do with this information. 

And he couldn't decide if he was surprised, horrified, embarrassed, or excited to hear his boyfriend talk in such a way about the books that he did not yet know Virgil was the author of. Maybe all of those emotions mixed together.

"But, the latest book had an infuriating ending. I cannot wait to read the next book, see if things will be solved." Logan said, hand pressed against the backs of book three, four, and five in his series. He supposed that was fair, the last book had ended on a cliffhanger. Virgil made some sort of nervous noise that could mean anything, and Logan looked over his shoulder at him.

"Apologies, I must be really boring, just ranting about books I love." He said, looking slightly sheepish. Virgil shook his head.

"Actually I love how much you love books. It's really endearing." Virgil said, and Logan smiled again, pleasantly surprised by the confession perhaps, and he turned back towards the bookshelf again, almost like he wanted to hide that he was smiling.

"They don't look like they've ever been read. Have you read these books? Or are they just for decoration for now?" Logan joked. Virgil knew Logan was just referring to books that Virgil may have bought but not yet read, but him saying that made him a little nervous anyway. Those books really were only for decoration.

"Yeah, I've read them." Virgil said. He'd been forced to read them while writing, and then while rewriting certain parts and making other drafts, and then proofreading several times before turning in for publishing. He'd read his own books far too many times.

Not that he'd actually read them in the form of an actual paperback book. Those he sort of had in his bookshelf as a reminder that he really achieved his dream of writing a book and even publishing it. They were like trophies.

"And please continue I like listening to you talking." Virgil said, just to reassure Logan that he was very welcome to keep talking about books he liked, though maybe not the books Virgil had written, as that clearly had made him far more flustered than he would have liked. He still couldn't grasp that people read his books.

"Although I slightly judge your taste in books if you like those so much." Virgil said with a laugh. Joking about his own ability to write was maybe not the healthiest way to go, but Virgil couldn't really help it.

"Ah, okay." Logan said, looking a bit confused, and a bit hurt, and Virgil realized that him being self deprecating about his own books didn't work if Logan wasn't aware he was the author of said books, because now it had just sounded like he was insulting Logan for thinking those books were good. Virgil knew how awful it was to hear people judge one by the books they read. 

Fuck. He fucked up.

"Wait, no, that's not- I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, that sounded really mean." Virgil rambled, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands, not really knowing what to do or how to solve this.

"Virgil, it's fine. I don't believe you aim to hurt me with anything you say." Logan said, but that didn't calm Virgil down by much, because he'd still accidentally insulted the guy that he liked, and that was not alright.

"By the way, how did you mean it?" He asked, seemingly more curious than accusing. Virgil internally swore, again, because it really was hard to explain in any other way than the truth. And that he did not want to say yet. But then again... his secret was bound to be revealed eventually anyway, perhaps it was for the best if he just told Logan now. 

After all, a relationship was built on trust, wasn't it? And Virgil really did not want to screw his and Logan's relationship up. Logan already meant too much to him.

"You know how I, um, work at a bookstore?" He began. It was actually where they had met, he'd been working and Logan came into the store and was looking for a book. Virgil helped him find it and for some reason Logan gave Virgil his number, saying he'd like to meet him again. And right now Logan looked at him, clearly confused by what that had to do with their current conversation.

"Yes?" 

"Well, that wasn't a lie, because I do work in a bookstore sometimes, my friend owns it, but... um, well, my main source of income... ah, you see, I'm kind of an author. Writing books is what I mainly do." He said, voice not steady in the least, but it didn't seem to bother Logan.

"Wow, that's actually really cool." Logan said, in a way that even Virgil couldn't doubt being sincere. Virgil wasn't surprised Logan, the most book-loving person he knew, was amazed by authors. But he was surprised that anyone thought it was cool that he was an author. Virgil always had a bit of trouble really seeing himself as one of all the other authors.

Authors were creative, hard working, and overall amazing. Virgil could not at all place himself with them without strongly feeling like a fraud.

"So what, you and the author of that series don't like each other?" Logan asked, and it would be much easier for Virgil to pretend that was the case, two authors being rivals, but that meant more lies and that was just a bad idea.

"You could say he's not my best friend..." He said. Honestly, Virgil didn't like himself that much, and himself and his insecurities were certainly his biggest rivals here in life. That wasn't a lie, and Virgil was going to tell Logan the truth. He just needed to find the words how to.

Perhaps that sounded a bit ironic, an author not finding the words to say something. But Virgil had to admit most of his time writing was him having trouble coming up with a good way to explain something. The rest of the time was just words somehow appearing in his mind and being written down on the document.

"Have you written anything I've heard of?" Logan asked, all excited, even if he clearly tried to hide it. He was such a nerd. An adorable nerd.

"Well..." Virgil met Logan's eyes, his gaze then flickering to the books Logan still had his hand pressed against, and then back to Logan's face in a matter of less than a second. Logan had clearly followed his eyes, and at first he just looked confused again, looking at those books he apparently loved so dearly, and then he looked back at Virgil, making a small noise that resembled a confused 'huh'.

Then, because Logan really was smart, he seemed to piece it together, looking between the books and Virgil again.

"Wait." He pointed at the book series while staring at Virgil, and Virgil forced himself to nod, even if he was nervous enough to think he might actually be visibly shaking.

"You... you wrote these books?" Logan asked, sounding as if he thought Virgil might be joking with him. Virgil pressed a hoodie sleeve covered hand to his mouth, needing something to kind of hide behind. He was a bit too flustered, still, by the amazement in Logan's voice when speaking of his books.

"Yeah. I did. And I'm sorry if it sounded like I was insulting your taste in books, I was just being self deprecating about my own writing. It's still extremely surreal to me that my books became so popular, I still don't get how or why that happened." Virgil said.

"That's amazing, you wrote these books..." Logan mumbled, clearly still processing that part. Virgil allowed a small chuckle to escape him.

"Yeah... it's pretty cool, I suppose. I never thought I'd write a book, even less a whole bunch. And actually getting them published... I'm kind of proud of myself." Virgil admitted, something he did not say often. Maybe he should be telling himself he'd done a good job more often. At least his therapist seemed to think he should, and they generally came with good advice.

"You should be." Logan said, staring him down, and Virgil couldn't help but to smile a little at that.

"I wasn't planning on telling you I was an author. Well, I was. I wasn't going to hide it from you. But I just didn't..." Virgil made a vague gesture with his hands before letting them fall into his lap, not exactly finding the words to describe how he was feeling about the whole thing in this moment.

"You don't want people to go around recognizing you for your work? And I suppose you might worry people only want to be around you because of your success and not because of who you are as a person?" Logan said, him clearly having found those exact words to describe what Virgil was feeling and his fears.

"Yeah, exactly." Virgil said, fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie and not really looking at Logan.

"Like..." Virgil took a deep breath, leaning back and finally meeting Logan eyes.

"I absolutely love writing. Clearly. And I'm amazed and beyond happy that my books got this popular and that so many people love them. That's more than I could ever dream of. But I don't want people to know that I am the author. I don't want to be recognized in town. I don't want to be called for interviews. I don't want my parents to brag about me to my relatives during family parties..." Virgil said with a small shrug.

"I'm kind of awkward. Not great at talking to people. I prefer not being in the midst of things." Virgil said with a laugh, glancing up at Logan for the hundredth time, seeing him smiling fondly at him. Virgil quickly looked away again.

"And yeah, that last thing too. Definitely, I just want people to hang with me because they actually like me, not because they think it's cool to know an author with books that are popular." Virgil finished, keeping his eyes on his own hands, still in his lap, tightly clasped together to keep himself from pulling at a piece of thread coming from his sleeve. This was his favorite hoodie and he didn't want to ruin it.

"That's why you can't... tell anyone. Aright?" Virgil said, wondering if Logan had yet realized that he was the only person except for his publisher who knew that he was the author of the books.

He was scared Logan would be the kind of person to want to spread around that he knew a 'famous' author. (Virgil never really could think of himself as a famous author for real, even though technically he was, it was just a too surreal thought.) He really liked Logan and didn't want to have to break up with him.

Virgil saw how Logan walked up to the couch, sitting down next to Virgil and placing a hand on his knee.

"I won't tell anyone. I promise." He said, and Virgil really believed him.

"I won't ever be one of those people. Yes, I'm amazed and impressed to find out that you're the author to my favorite book series. But I like you for you. You're really handsome, and I enjoy your company. Spending time with you makes me happy." He said, pressing a kiss to Virgil's cheek.

Virgil made a small dismissive snort of disbelief, shrugging at the same time as he was stupidly smiling. He didn't know what Logan was doing and what it was about him, but Virgil had been smiling a lot more since they began going out.

"Can I kiss you?" Virgil asked, receiving a smile and a nod from Logan, which was enough to make him lean in and press their lips together. Not a kiss that would maybe be described as very passionate or extraordinary, but a soft kiss that Virgil hoped conveyed at least part of how he was feeling at the moment. He pulled back the tiniest bit, their noses still brushing.

"I like you, a lot." He said, words that weren't too big but still didn't cover what he was actually feeling for Logan. But they would have to do for now.

"I like you too, Virgil. And olease o remember that no matter how many awesome books you write, I'll still be liking you for your personality, and your humor, and how easy it is to talk to you, and because spending time with you makes me happy, and because you let me ramble about things I like without being annoyed or bored." Logan said, making Virgil's face flush pink.

"That's disgustingly cute of you." He said, letting their lips brush, Logan being the one to actually turn it into a kiss, one that lasted a bit longer than the last one, Virgil having wrapped his arms around Logan. Then when they parted moment later, far to soon for Virgil's liking, they sat there smiling like fools for maybe a little too long before Virgil got up from the couch, taking Logans hand and helping him up too.

"Right, should we order that takeout?" He said, cheeks surely still pink, and he was doing his best to pretend Logan's words hadn't affected him as much as they had.

"That sounds lovely." Logan said.

--

Written: 4th August 2019
Published: 2nd October 2019
Words: 3282

Having a famous book series published under a pen name seems like a dream and yes I live my dreams through fictional characters in my fanfiction

Not that I believe I'll ever write an actual book though lmao

Also this year I have to write a halloween oneshot (not that it'll be up in october hah)