Warnings: slight anxiety, mentions of being subjected to aphobia in the past

I know I wrote a fic about ace Logan a little while ago, but I love the headcanon that one or both of them are ace and also I do what I want

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They've been on five dates now, soon they'll be on their sixth, and Virgil is more nervous than he'd like to admit. Maybe more nervous than he was when waiting to see if Logan would show up for their first date, because now he actually liked him.

Virgil feels like the two of them have gotten to know each other quite well, and there are definitely some feelings involved by now.

They ended the last date with a kiss and it had left Virgil feeling as exhilarated as if he'd just been on a rollercoaster and he'd been full of energy for the whole next day.

Indeed, whatever Virgil might have worried about when first deciding on a date with Logan had long since faded. Except for one thing. Virgil had not mentioned the fact that he was asexual, and from all past relationships he had had, which to be fair were not too many, he knew that not everyone took it well.

One past boyfriend had accused him of just not wanting to engage in anything intimate with him and they'd ended up breaking up after Virgil had been unable to make him understand that he didn't feel sexual attraction towards anyone at all.

Another one he'd found out was cheating on him and when confronting his ex about it he'd tried to justify it by saying that if Virgil wasn't willing to have sex with him them he shouldn't be hurt when someone else was. Needless to say Virgil had ended that relationship quickly too.

The very least he expected from a partner was for him to accept and respect all aspects of his sexuality.

So, Virgil did have good reason to be nervous about tonight, and he had good reason not to have included his asexuality in his dating profile, he didn't need to be ridiculed or offered by creepy men to be 'fixed'. No, Virgil might be worried, but he preferred it this way.

His friends had told him that there probably was no need to worry, but they'd also said that if Logan would have a problem with it they'd both kick his ass, which didn't actually calm Virgil by much. He did not want people to be hurt or threatened, he just wanted them to respect him.

Virgil resented the whole of society's mentality that men had to 'want it', because he really didn't. He'd been repulsed by the thought of sex since he was old enough to understand what it was. It had not changed by puberty, and he felt the same now, age thirty.

Virgil realized he was doing a bad job of keeping his mind occupied. Thinking of how he was going to come out to the guy he was dating was exactly what he'd decided he was not going to focus on for now. It would not do anyone any good if he was having an anxiety attack when Logan came here expecting them to have a lovely time together, Virgil really needed to not work himself up about this.

So here he was sitting in a cozy small coffee shop, fingers drumming against the surface of the table as he waited. He was tempted to order a coffee already, had been since he set foot inside the shop and felt the amazing smell of coffee, but it might be considered rude to not wait for his date.

According to Logan's text he'd be there in five or so minutes, and that message had been received a few minutes ago, meaning Logan would show up at any moment. Despite the worry that occupied most of Virgil's thoughts he still couldn't help wishing Logan was already here with him.

He was already awfully fond of Logan.

The bell above the shop's door dinged softly, and Virgil turned his head, seeing Logan. He was dressed in a black button up, light grey jeans, and a blue tie. So far Logan had always worn a tie when he'd seen him. Virgil liked that, for some reason. It suited Logan.

Logan's eyes searched the room for a moment until they landed on Virgil, and he could see how Logan's lips formed into the smallest of smiles when seeing him. Virgil raised a hand to wave, and Logan crossed from the door to the booth where Virgil was sitting in less than five seconds.

"Hey." Virgil said as soon as Logan was close by, feeling as if his heart was now beating with more meaning, as if only seeing Logan had given his organs a reason to work harder to keep him alive.

"Hello. I'm glad you had the time to meet me here tonight." Logan said, leaning down and kissing Virgil's cheek before he sat down opposite of him. His face felt warm as he tried to piece together a response.

"You're lucky, not many can give me half a day's notice for plans to see one another and make me agree to come." Virgil said, not deeming it necessary to say that Logan could suggest almost anything and Virgil would be happy to tag along.

Especially when Logan was suggesting they'd be getting coffee together as the dark fell and then go out to a nearby park to stargaze. How could Virgil ever have said no?

"Yes, I do consider myself lucky." Logan said, in a way that made Virgil think he was talking about more than just the fact that he'd agreed to the date. Sap. Virgil shook his head.

"Shall we order?" Logan asked, offering Virgil his hand. Virgil took it and they both stood up, walking up to the counter. Logan had ordered just a cup of normal black coffee, while Virgil had asked for both sugar, whipped cream, and pieces of chopped up dark chocolate in his drink.

Logan ended up paying, even if Virgil did his best to try and make Logan let him pay for his own drink.

"That drink must be almost as sweet as you." Logan said, making Virgil blush. For some reason Logan kept saying such things, seemingly without even thinking about it, and it always left Virgil flustered or stuttering. He was not nearly as good at saying such things.

Virgil had not even told Logan that he looked nice tonight, which he definitely should have, seeing how handsome Logan really was. His hair was slightly messy, most likely due to Logan running a hand through it, and it definitely only improved his looks. Virgil seriously wondered why someone this pretty would want to go out with someone like himself.

He took Logan's hand, which he considered himself brave for doing, but Logan only entwined his fingers with Virgil's, thumb brushing over the back of his hand in that way that distracted Virgil so much. They sipped their drinks as they walked together, Logan quietly listening as Virgil talked about how his day had been (Virgil was really surprised that Logan cared, it wasn't as if his day had been interesting in any way).

Just as Logan had told him when asking Virgil on this date, the park was nearby and it did not take them long time to get there, Virgil was surprised by how clearly they could see the stars. He was suddenly immensely grateful that he lived in a smaller city where the lights from houses and streets did not outshine the stars. They threw their empty coffee cups in a trashcan just before entering the park.

Logan must've been stargazing there before, because he deliberately steered Virgil to a corner of the park, as far away as you could get from the houses and roads. They sat down on the top of a small hill, the late summer evening was warm and the grass was not damp despite it having rained in the morning.

They were both quiet at first, hands still holding onto the other as they sat there and marvelled over the sky and how full of stats it was. Sometimes it made Virgil feel small and unimportant to realize how tiny he was compared to the universe, and how little just he mattered in the grand scheme of everything.

Though this evening he found himself incredibly thankful and fortunate that in an infinite universe he had ended up precisely here, with Logan next to him. For once Virgil was quite content with life.

"Which constellations can you name?" Logan asked, eyes still fixed up above. Virgil was watching him out of the corner of his eye, trying to comprehend just how handsome he was, and he was caught off guard by the question. He looked up at the sky, not being able to focus on the stars for long enough to recognize anything.

"Uh... none right now, because you're distracting me." Virgil admitted, feeling a flutter in his chest as Logan laughed. It was a beautiful sound that Virgil loved to hear. Though it was with a twinge of regret he realized he really was falling for this man. He would definitely be hurt if Logan turned out to be just like his exes.

Especially as Logan was so lovely and made Virgil feel so happy when he was around. Now Logan lifted up Virgil's hand that he was holding and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Virgil felt as if tingles had run up his whole arm and he swore under his breath, hopefully it just sounded as he sighed.

"Can I kiss you?" Virgil murmured, his heart beating the slightest bit quicker as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Of course." Logan spoke quietly, leaning a little bit closer, as if to urge Virgil on. Virgil internally begged his heart to stay calm, then leaned in the rest of the way, capturing Logan's lips with his own. There were no fireworks in his chest, and he couldn't feel the world spin, but butterflies were present in his stomach and Logan's hand that cupped his face was warm, and soft, almost as soft as his lips.

It felt like the kiss lasted ages, but in reality they were most likely just kissing for a few seconds, and Virgil was slightly sad to end the kiss. But maybe Virgil should not let himself become too attached to neither Logan nor kissing him, not before he knew if it was really worth pursuing a relationship with Logan.

He really wanted to keep dating Logan, but it would not be worth it if Logan would not be respectful of the fact that Virgil was asexual. He better get this all over with and tell Logan already, there was no point in waiting.

It took him several minutes to get words out, and during that time he sat in silence with Logan, letting his eyes roam over the stars as he silently asked the universe to show him kindness.

"I've got something to tell you." He finally said, mostly because he needed to have this said. Virgil was far from accustomed with at what point a relationship usually turned sexual, but this was their sixth date and Virgil did not want to end up springing this onto Logan at a less appropriate time.

"Okay, go on, I'm all ears." Logan said calmly, Virgil tried to force a thankful smile, but found that it was difficult. Instead he decided on focusing on getting his next sentence out without stuttering too much or anything else that'd make Logan realize he was nervous.

"Well, you see, I'm, um, I'm asexual, and I don't know if that would be, like, a deal breaker for you or anything, but I really like you..." Virgil quieted down, anxiously awaiting Logan's response. Had Virgil now ruined yet another possible relationship? Virgil was not all too excited to find out.

But Logan visibly relaxed, his shoulders relaxing and his lips forming into a growing smile.

"I thought you were going to tell me you didn't want to see me any more." He said, which surprised Virgil. That was the last thing he wanted and it seemed ridiculous to even suggest such a thing. Virgil almost asked him how he could have thought something that preposterous, but Logan spoke up again.

"I am really happy you told me. Actually, I am asexual too, though it seems you are the braver out of us both, I had not gathered the courage to tell you yet." He said, squeezing Virgil's hand, and Virgil felt the (slightly delayed) relief washing over him.

Logan really was not going to stop seeing him because of his asexuality? Logan was asexual too? Logan understood?

Virgil couldn't help it, he stood up on his knees and pulled Logan into a hug which was only slightly awkward because of their positions on the ground. It wasn't many seconds until Virgil pushed himself back, but Logan still had the time to let his arms loop around Virgil's waist, holding him reassuringly.

"Sorry," Virgil sat back down on the grass next to Logan, "You're just the first person who've taken it in a good way."

A nervous sort of chuckle escaped him and Virgil realized that he was embarrassingly close to tears. This must have been weighing him down more than he'd realized. Logan was looking at the sky again and hopefully didn't notice too much of Virgil's emotional state, but he gave a thoughtful nod.

"Yes, people normally do take it the wrong way, don't they?" He said, a definite tiredness to his voice. Virgil hummed in agreement, scooting closer to Logan who seemingly automatically put an arm around his shoulders. Virgil put his hand over Logan's, which was placed on his left shoulder.

"Virgil?" Logan said, not needing to have said anything really, because all of Virgil's attention was already fixed on Logan.

"Hm?"

"Forgive me if it's soon, I once did read an article about how a relationship should not be confirmed until the tenth date, or something like that but, I do like you a lot and now that I know neither of us will be expecting anything too intimate from the other... well, enough rambling, would you like to actually be my boyfriend?"

Logan sounded almost as nervous as he had at the end of their last date before he'd asked if it would be alright for him to kiss Virgil. And Virgil's heart almost skipped a beat at the question.

"Yes, I'd love that." He said, thinking he did a fairly good job at not sounding overly happy or excited, which he definitely was. Virgil had definitely hoped their dating would turn into a relationship, but he had not had the guts to bring up a discussion of what they defined their relationship as. Any and all bravery had been reserved for telling Logan about his sexuality.

"Splendid." Logan said, his eyes somehow bright despite the dark around them. To say Virgil had a hard time not only focusing on Logan was an understatement. They sat in silence for a while until Virgil complained that his neck hurt from looking up so much, and they both laid down on the grass, now hand in hand, arms pressed together as they closely laid there.

Logan pointed at the sky with his free hand and began talking about his favorite constellation, making Virgil briefly wonder what his own favorite constellation was. He hadn't thought about it before. Virgil decided to think about that later, instead he turned his head.

Logan seemed completely absorbed by the stars above them, rambling about some myth. Virgil smiled, heart fluttering in his chest simply at the sight of his date (and now boyfriend) excitedly talking about something that must be very interesting to him. It made Logan eyes brighten and an almost smile graced his features.

Virgil fixed his eyes on the stars, grinning at nothing. He really hoped that Logan (his boyfriend, Virgil reminded himself again) and his relationship would last.

"I'm really happy to be here with you." He murmured, feeling Logan squeeze his hand.

"Likewise, Virgil."

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Written: 27th & 28th June 2019
Published: 1st August 2019
Words: 2754

Writing must literally be the one thing that makes my brain produce the happy hormones

Also hsjshdjshdhshfdj

There's a lot of you :D <3