Warnings: anxiety, uncomfortableness, hurt/comfort? No? Uncomfortable/comfort?

Summary: logan is asexual, virgil doesn't know, and logan clearly should've told him long before now

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Logan was a bit unsure how they had ended up kissing on Virgil's bed. Well, this wasn't the first time they had occupied themselves in such a way, but there was definitely something different about this time, and Logan tired to focus on returning Virgil's kisses and not think too much about where this would most likely lead.

Even if Logan normally loves kissing Virgil he cannot deny the growing unease he is feeling. Normally he loves Virgil's touch, but at the moment he is uncomfortable with the intentions of Virgil's hands as they pull slightly at his shirt.

Logan has definitely realized it is well past the time when he should've told Virgil he's asexual. He should've told him months ago when they first got together, but he hadn't dared to. Maybe it was selfish, but Logan had not wanted to give Virgil a reason to break up with him so soon, not after all the months of him pining over the anxious side.

Sadly it had definitely not gotten any easier to tell him since then, for several reasons. One being the fact that the longer they were together the more scared Logan got of losing him. Virgil was so terribly precious to Logan, he almost felt as if he'd be lost without him despite the fact that they'd only been dating for a couple of months.

Naturally the logical sense in Logan told him that of course Virgil wouldn't be terrible about Logan's sexuality. They were both part of Thomas, and therefore supported the same things as he did. And yet he could not rid himself of his worry, however misguided it was. He was beginning to sympathize a lot with Virgil's anxiety over illogical things.

It was first when Virgil broke the kiss and pulled back that Logan realized he'd grabbed a hold of Virgil's wrists. He hadn't meant to, it'd been a reflex. Logan opened his eyes and met Virgil's worried gaze, letting go of him quickly. His heart was beating uncomfortably hard in his chest.

"Lo?" He said quietly and Logan took a trembling breath. He pushed Virgil away as gently as he could, getting out of bed on slightly too shaky legs. He took several steps away until he found himself leaning against a wall, trying to keep his breathing under control. He definitely should not have let this proceed this far.

"Logan, hey, are you alright?" He heard Virgil's quiet steps as he walked up to Logan, and he turned towards his slightly disheveled boyfriend who was looking more than a little worried now.

"I- uh. Perhaps." Logan pushed his glasses up with a slightly trembling hand, trying to will himself into quit being such a wimp. The last thing he wanted was to heighten Virgil's anxiety in any way.

"Logan, please. Just tell me what's wrong." Virgil pleaded, carefully cupping Logan's face in his hands and staring into his eyes as if he hoped he'd be able to read Logan's mind. There was no way for Logan to get out of telling Virgil he was asexual now.

He didn't want this to happen again. He knew he couldn't lie to Virgil and tell him he was fine, Virgil would see right through him ...and also Logan would feel bad.

"I'm... I am..." Logan started, having kept it pretty much a secret for so long that it was slightly hard to say out loud, though what kept him from speaking was definitely mostly the fact that he didn't want to disappoint or upset Virgil. Logan was well aware of the fact that Virgil would be upset even if he had nothing against his asexuality, he would still be upset that Logan hadn't told him sooner.

"Asexual." He finally said, forcing it out because he was being ridiculous, he knew that. Logan deeply wished he'd told Virgil much sooner, then he wouldn't be in this situation now.

Virgil dropped his hands at Logan's confession as if he was scared to overstep his boundaries just by touching him. Logan definitely wished he hadn't, the touch had been calming his nerves and now they hit him full force as he saw the realization hit Virgil.

"Please don't break up with me." Logan blurted out before he could stop himself. It was embarrassing to let Virgil know of his fear, most definitely, but his worry rose above his awkwardness. Virgil's gaze softened and Logan could feel Virgil's hand grasping his in a tight, reassuring grip.

"Lo, you dumbass, my dumbass." Virgil said quietly, somehow still sounding so very caring as he spoke.

"Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Virgil asked. Logan swallowed down another pointless apology that wanted to escape him.

"I am sorry for worrying you, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I'm sorry for causing this whole situation, and I'm sorry for upsetting and disappointing you." Logan said quickly, eyes persistently meeting Virgil's even if he wasn't sure he could see what he was feeling.

"First of all, Logan, we're boyfriends because I love you, not because I need you to join me in any sort of sexual activities." Virgil started, almost sounding defensive.

"Second of all, if I'm really that desperate to get off I've got two hands of my own which can definitely get the job done." Virgil continued, corner of his mouth twitching in an almost smile. Logan felt heat rush to his cheeks at Virgil's words, maybe feeling more embarrassed than he should.

"Well, yes, I know. But-" Logan tried not getting further than that before Virgil shushed him.

"No buts, I love you and I'm not going to break up with you for something like this. Understood?" Virgil said in that tone of voice that told Logan that there was no arguing about this, nothing Logan could say or point out that could change his mind.

"Understood." Logan repeated, smiling a tiny smile at his boyfriend. Virgil returned the faint smile, standing on the tip of his toes to press a kiss to Logan's forehead.

"I just wish you'd have told me much sooner, it would've kept me from making you uncomfortable. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. I wish you knew you could tell me anything, Lo." Virgil said, and there is definitely a bit of panic in his voice now, that Logan hates to be the reason for.

"I am really sorry." Logan said, letting go of Virgil's hand and raising his arms and putting them around Virgil, pulling him into a tight embrace. He really had not wanted to be the reason for anyone's panic. Not his own and definitely not Virgil's. If his poor choices led to his own misery then that was his own fault, but Virgil should not have to suffer in any way from the consequences of Logan's actions (or lack thereof, in this case).

"Stop apologizing, nerd."

"I should have told you earlier. Much earlier. I just..." Logan sighed and nuzzled his face into the crook of Virgil's neck, unsure of how to continue his sentence.

"Above all else I don't want you to think I don't want you. Because I do, just not in a sexual way." Logan said, not letting go of Virgil, partly because he didn't want to show his face, it'd make him feel much more awkward if Virgil was staring at him.

"Logan... I might have moments where I doubt if you love me or not, but those thoughts are definitely not because of anything like that, it's just my anxiety. I do know you love me." Virgil said with a small nervous laugh.

"I do, I love you much more than I thought myself capable of." Logan said, just having to point that out since he knew very well that those thoughts made Virgil unsure of where Logan's heart lie (and if Logan's heart was anywhere other than in his chest then it'd be in Virgil's hands).

"Good, I love you too. And never for a second believe I would be disappointed in you for sharing something about yourself that you clearly are nervous to speak about." Virgil said, almost sounding offended at the fact that Logan could have feared such a reaction from him. Logan knew Virgil understood that worry very well though.

"Now, bed? Cuddles?" Virgil said, taking a step back and pulling a little at Logan's hand. "If you'd be okay with that."

"Of course, Virgil." Logan said. He definitely had nothing at all against cuddles. Definitely not in the privacy of one of their rooms. Logan actually adored how safe Virgil could make him feel simply by putting his arms around him. And he adored how relaxed Virgil became when Logan held him close.

"Tomorrow we're going to talk more about this, you're going to tell me what you're comfortable with and what you're not, and you're going to promise to tell me if where you draw the line ever changes, because I do not want to make you uncomfortable when I could be making you feel safe." Virgil demanded as he led Logan back to his bed.

"That seems like a sensible thing to do." Logan said, snapping his fingers to change into his pajamas and allowing Virgil to pull him into bed as he too had changed.

Virgil pulled up the covers over the both of them, then letting his arm sneak around Logan middle to pull him closer and allow him to cuddle into his chest. Logan tired not to feel too silly over having been so afraid to tell Virgil of his asexuality, knowing Virgil wouldn't like him to think like that.

Instead Logan fell asleep feeling incredibly fortunate to have someone who cared so deeply for him.

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Written: 26th May 2019
Published: 10th June 2019
Words: 1688

I put the ace in embrace

Hope you enjoyed? Idk I'm too lazy to fix this fic up

Summer school has me wishing I'll be hit by a bus :D