The rest of the school week went smoothly. Shinsou was staying relatively quiet around my friends, which was a step up from trying to piss everyone off at any given moment. At least he was trying. Eijirou was, thankfully, in most of his classes. Ash was keeping me in the loop there, while Katsuki was making sure that they were only skipping together. I could live with that progress. 

"Toga's already mad at me because you're not going," Ashido groaned as she sat down at the lunch table. It was Friday, which meant that Ash, Kami, Sero, Ei, and Kats would all be going to The League later that night. 

"You're texting Himiko?" I asked with one brow raised. 

The seating arrangement had changed slightly since Shinsou started at our school. Since we had fourth hour together (the class right before lunch), we walked to the cafeteria together and he claimed the spot on my right. To my left was Katsuki, then Eijirou. It was a little sad that I wasn't sandwiched between them anymore, but at least they couldn't gang up on me. 

"'Chako put us all in a group chat together, for when we need a break from testosterone." 

"Of course she did," I said with an amused smile, shaking my head. 

"Oh, there's something else you should know," the devious smile on her face actually made me shiver a little. Katsuki knew I was worried, or he thought I was cold, either way, he wrapped an arm around my waist. 

"Which is?" I prodded since it didn't seem like she was going to continue. 

She thought about it for a second, then waved me off. "No, it should stay a surprise." 

"You're the worst kind of person," Kaminari said with a pout. At least I wasn't the only one in the dark. 

"You'll find out on Sunday." She shrugged. 

"That's so far!" 

Shinsou looked up from his phone, sparing a glance at the blond. "It's two days." 

"Forty-eight hours, that's so many hours," Kaminari whined. 

"List out the digits of pi," Ashido exclaimed, looking over at him with tired eyes. "By the time you're done, it'll be Sunday." 

"That'll keep him occupied for forty-eight hours?" Shinsou asked me, his voice quiet. 

"Math genius," I explained simply, watching the two teens continue to bicker. "I don't even want to know how many decimal points he just knows." 

"Did not see that coming." 

I chuckled at his dumbfounded expression. "I don't think anyone ever does." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eight o'clock rolled around and I was bored. The band had just left for Dabi's club, so it was just Shinsou and I in our room, both doing our own things. Well, Shinsou looked like he was trying to do homework, and I was staring at the ceiling. 

I finally looked away when I heard him sigh and shut his textbook. "That's it, let's go." 

"Huh?" I asked stupidly, sitting up on my own bed while he stood from his. 

He threw on a hoodie and grabbed his stash bag. "We're gonna go do literally anything but this." 

I didn't need to be told twice, already on my feet. "Front door is a no-go, our moms are home and neither of them wants to send us off at night with each other." 

"Window?" he asked. 

"No way down," I said with a shake of my head. "Just across." 

"Any parents home over there?" 

My face lit up at the idea. "Out of town, and Katsuki keeps his window open." 

"That's stupid," Shinsou said with an eye roll, already pushing our window up. 

"He does it for me. It's sweet," I corrected, waiting for him to get across before I followed. 

Once we were both safely in Katsuki's room, Shinsou lightly smacked the back of my head. "You're hot guy blind." 

"I am not!" I argued as we made our way to the front door. The house was eerily quiet, something I wasn't used to. Usually, no less than two teenagers were running around and causing a racket. 

"Iz, you're always hot guy blind," he said with a laugh. 

"Hardy-har-har," I grumbled sarcastically. We just made it out of the house, locking the door behind us once again. "I don't have a key for this place, so we're screwed until the boys get back." 

"Oh no," the sarcasm was dripping from his voice. "We have a bag of weed and hours to kill, whatever will we do?" 

"You should start now, you're grouchy." 

"You think I'm always grouchy," he pointed out as we started our walk into the night. 

"Because you are." 

"It's who I am, stop trying to change me," he teased, but there was already a joint in his hand. 

As he lit it and took the first hit, I mused "Do you ever think we rely on it too much?" 

He exhaled with a small cough, handing it over to me. "All the time, but it's this or kill ourselves. I think we're doing pretty okay." 

I took a hit and nodded. "You're so smart."

"You've been saying so for years." 

"Yeah, but you make it so hard to remember when you're being stupid." 

He rolled his eyes, but a smile was still present on his lips. "Do you know where we're going?" 

I shrugged, looking at the road ahead of us. "There's a park a few blocks down." 

"Classic." Our regular smoking spot back home was a run-down park that was back in some woods. There was a hiking trail to get to it, but most people weren't even aware it was still out there. The park here wasn't nearly as hidden, but as long as we didn't make it a habit, I doubted anyone would notice. 

We made it to the park in under five minutes and I immediately took off for the swings. Nothing healed my inner child or whatever, like being on the swings again. 

"It's like babysitting a toddler," Shinsou teased as he finally caught up to me, claiming the swing to my right. 

I snatched the joint from his hand and took a puff. "Do you regularly get toddlers high?" 

He raised a brow at me, his eyes following as I swung back and forth a few feet. "You think anyone trusts me enough to babysit an actual toddler?" 

"Good point, good point," I laughed as I handed the joint back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you noticed how the stars aren't as bright here?" I asked, my eyes turned to the dim night sky. 

"Yeah, the first time we visited actually." 

My swinging came to a slow stop as I looked over at him. "It's stupid." 

He chuckled but nodded in agreement. "Super stupid." 

"You miss home yet?" I asked, quieter now. 

"I miss people, not places." 

"I miss everything," I admitted, looking back up at the muted stars. "The stars, the people, my old house, even the school." 

"That's just because you hate change. You complained about missing something every year," he said with a snort. 

I shook my head, resting it against the chain links that held the swing up. "It's different this time. It's like even my bones miss that place. I grew up there, all my favorite memories were made there, and two of my favorite people are still there. Nothing feels right anymore, ya know?" 

This wasn't much space to think when it came to high rambling. I'd get so absorbed in whatever it was I was talking about, that I completely blocked everything else out. It was often how I admitted to things I never wanted to even speak aloud. 

"Nothing feels right?" 

I sighed, finally dragging my eyes away from the sky and towards my companion. "Nothing," I confirmed. "It all feels slightly off-kilter like I'm walking on a tightrope or something. One wrong move and I'm tumbling down to the ground. It never felt like that back home." 

He paused to think over my words. "What about with me here?" 

"Feels like I found a puzzle piece I didn't know I was missing," I mumbled, trying to keep my half-lidded eyes open. I got tired when the initial buzz of weed was gone. That was why it was such a great sleep aid. 

He studied me, the faintest smile on his lips. "Yeah, that's a good way to put it." 

I blinked my eyes open fully, the still burning tip of the joint now a few inches from my face. I gladly accepted it, taking a bigger hit than I should have. The smoke choked me on the exhale, causing me to lean forward from the strength of my cough. 

"Easy, killer," Shinsou chuckled, taking the joint back quickly. 

"Shut up," I whined with one final cough. "We should've grabbed something to drink." 

"Not my fault you forgot how to smoke while you were gone." 

"Stop teasing me," I scolded, smacking his shoulder. I wanted to bap his head, but lifting my arm that high sounded like too much work. 

He laughed at my weak attempt. "But it's so easy." 

"I will push you off that swing," I threatened with a smile. It was hard to act stern when I felt so giddy. 

"I'd like to see you try," He said honestly, already suspecting I was too high to follow through. 

In true me fashion, I stood up, walked in front of his swing, and used all my strength to push him backward off of it. I was laughing for all of half a second as I succeeded, but then the world started to spin as I fell forward, Shinsou's hands gripping both of my wrists. 

We ended up landing with a hard thud, Shinsou's back in the playground wood chips with me on top of him. I registered the pain for only a moment before I was laughing at how horribly my plan had failed, Shinsou joining in. 

"You couldn't just let me win," I complained, trying to sit up. I had landed against his chest pretty hard, my elbows no doubt scraped up from the wood chips. That paired with my high, meant that moving was exponentially hard. 

"That'd be too easy," he said, panting softly. I wasn't sure if it was from laughing too hard or getting the wind knocked out of him on impact. Maybe both. 

"I'm just gonna stay here," I announced, letting my head fall against his chest a little too hard. He let out a huff of air at the impact. "Everything hurts now." 

"It's your own damn fault," he pointed out. 

"Whatever," I grumbled. 

"Iz, you're killing my ribs," he complained, a slight strain to his voice. 

I groaned but propped my upper body on my elbows, taking the pressure off his chest. "You're such a baby." 

In that position, our noses were almost touching, but I was a full joint in, overly affectionate on any substance. I was regularly nose to nose with Ashido or Kaminari while drinking, it felt like the same thing to me at the moment. 

"I'm getting stabbed by a million little stakes and being crushed under your body weight, while you landed on top of me and are too hurt to move. Yeah, I'm the baby." 

"You're still teasing me," I complained, a frown taking over my face. 

He rolled his eyes, an affectionate smile on his lips. "I'm sorry, you're just really cute when you pout." 

"Don't flirt with me, we're best friends," I chided. I lifted a hand and flicked his forehead, but almost fell over from losing my balance. 

His hands went to my waist, steadying me before I could roll face-first into wood chips. I froze, my hand still hovering in the air above him. "Shinsou." It was a warning and a plea, all tied into one. 

"I've called you cute since the day we met, that is us being best friends," he pointed out, trying to force it to sound casual, but I could hear the strain. He was reaching and he knew it. 

"Well, it can't be anymore. I'm in a relationship I actually care about. I'm in love with them, Shinsou." And just like a broken record, we were back to the same fight. 

"You love both of them," he stated. I was about to speak up again, happy that he finally got it, but he beat me to the punch. "Why is it so hard for you to accept that you might be in love with me, too?" 

I shook my head, sitting up a little taller (as much as I could given our current position). 

"Does having me back feel the same way as when you got Toga back?" 

That question stopped me dead in my tracks. My weed-muddled brain could barely think as I tried to remember how it felt seeing Himiko for the first time at the bar. The puzzle piece metaphor still applied, but he was right. It was different. With her, I had known about the gaping hole in my heart from her absence. I knew she was what I missed. 

With Shinsou, it came out of nowhere. I hadn't even realized how much I'd missed him until he was back and we were falling into our old dynamic. Having Shinsou back felt like.... it felt like the first easy breath you take after a panic attack and that terrified me. 

I must have been lost in my thoughts for too long because he spoke again. "If you stay on top of me any longer, I'm going to kiss you." 

Just like that, I was tumbling head-first from the tightrope I'd been so carefully trying to cross ever since I moved. Everything had shifted, everything had changed, and I was free falling towards the cold, hard ground below me. 

I sat up fully as he spoke, scrambling to get off of him as quickly as possible. I wasn't going down that road, not ever. I couldn't do that to myself or any of the three other boys whose hearts I apparently had in my palms. I fell into the wood chips momentarily but was quickly on my feet and brushing myself off. "We should head back, it's getting late." 

It really wasn't, it was only about midnight. I didn't even think Eijirou and Katsuki would be back yet. 

He stayed on the ground, looking up at me for a moment, but I refused to meet his eyes. "Fine," he said eventually, pulling himself to stand. 

We walked back in silence. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was right. The boys weren't home yet by the time we got there, and I hadn't even thought to bring a key to my own house. We had to sit in painfully awkward silence for twenty minutes before I finally saw Eijirou's headlights pulling into the driveway. 

"Iz? Are you okay?" the redhead asked, already halfway out the door before he shut the truck off. Katsuki had already rounded the front of the vehicle. 

"Fine," I said with a forced smile. "We snuck out and had to go through your house because our moms were still up." 

Eijirou pulled me into a side hug, placing a kiss on my forehead. Katsuki stood on my other side, arms crossed and staring down Shinsou. "Where'd you go?" 

"The park down the street. Just wanted to get out of the house for a little bit," I explained, letting myself melt into the redhead's side. It was easy to forget my problems in his arms. 

"You're high," Katsuki stated. 

"It's a sleep aid," I said right back. 

Eijirou, who still had his keys out, managed to unlock the door and swing it open, all with one hand. He motioned for Katsuki and Shinsou to head in and then we followed behind. "What's wrong?" he whispered to me as we headed towards the stairs. 

Leave it to him to know when I'm acting off. "Don't worry about it." 

"Just left you alone with Shinsou and now you're acting weird, I'm going to worry about it." 

"We just got into another fight and now he's pouting, it's not a big deal," I whispered with a sigh. 

"What were you two fighting about?" He had to pull me to a halt, Katsuki's room just ahead of us. 

"Just stuff about our room," I lied quickly. I knew I shouldn't lie, especially not about this, but some fucked up, sad, and hopeless part of my brain wanted us to finally be able to exist around each other without it turning into a fight. All notion of that reality would be gone if I told Eijirou what happened at the park. 

"You're lying," he stated, his eye darting to the right side of my head. 

I quickly moved the hair that I had tucked behind my ear and shook my head. "I'm not lying. He doesn't want you guys to sleep over there anymore and it pissed me off." 

"Iz," he said softly. 

"Fine," I snapped, but kept my volume down, not wanting to draw the attention of Katsuki and Shinsou. "We got into another fucking fight because he's still in love with me and won't drop it. I had to break my best friend's heart again because he can't seem to grasp the fact that I love you and not him. Sorry I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want you to bash his face in when all I want is my best friend back." 

His looming figure stared down at me, illuminated from behind by the light of Katsuki's room. His face was remarkably blank, not showing a hint of how he felt about my little rant. "Why lie about it?" Even his voice was emotionless. It made me more nervous than if he had just shouted at me. 

"Why're you two fighting?" I looked around Eijirou's shoulder as Katsuki spoke, appearing in the doorway.  "Eye bags just left." 

"Iz lied to me," Eijirou stated, not turning around as the blond moved to stand next to him. They were now a wall of disappointment, staring me down and blocking off my only escape. I'd never felt so small in my life. 

"I didn't lie," I exclaimed, looking between them. "We did have that fight and he really is being a little bitch. I just didn't tell you everything." 

"It's a lie of omission, it's not any better," Katsuki said in a stern voice. 

My shoulders sagged and my head fell. I was exhausted. "I just didn't want to have this fight again." 

"A fight about you lying?" Katsuki, sounding a little confused. 

"No, the fight about Shinsou," I groaned out, ripping off the bandaid. "I'm tired of you guys fighting all the time, I'm tired of him professing his love, and I'm tired of defending myself. I'm not going to leave you, I'm not going to cheat on you, and I'd really enjoy it if we could all ignore him and everything that leaves his fucking mouth." 

"I don't even care about that," Eijirou spoke up, startling me for a second. "I'm mad because you lied. Again." 

"Fine, I'll stop lying if you guys stop trying to rip out Shinsou's throat," I offered, my arms crossed over my chest. 

"Tell him to stop flirting with you," Katsuki scoffed. 

"I have!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. I was so done with being blamed for Shinsou actions. "I've been telling him to back off, that I'm not in love with him, that I never was or will be. I have done nothing to lead him on or make him think he's got a chance, not since I first met you two. You cannot lord his feelings over my head. It's not my fault." 

"Stop being friends with him then," Eijirou snapped. 

"I live with him," I said, my voice still a little too loud. "We share a room, what the fuck do you want me to do about that?" 

Katsuki ran a hand down his face and took a step back. "Go home, Izuku." 

I blinked at him, not expecting the response. "You're kicking me out? Because I made a valid point?" 

The blond scowled at me, a heat in his glare that hadn't been directed at me in a long time. "No, I'm kicking you out because we're all tired and pissed as fuck, one of us is going to say something we regret. You're coming back tomorrow morning and we're talking about this." 

I let out a huff and pushed them both aside as I started for the window. Katsuki was right, but like hell was I going to admit it then. I'd tell him in the morning, at that exact moment I wanted nothing more than to smack him (which really just proved his point). 

Shinsou was already under his blanket and facing the opposite wall when I made it back to my room. It was a good thing too, because I was just as mad at him. 

I was half tempted to march over there and throttle him, but decided against it and just stopped to my own bed. I threw my blankets over myself as I laid down, aggressively shouldering into my pillow as I turned away from him, still in my zip-up sweatshirt and jeans, and still fuming. 

Whoopsies, I think I broke it. My bad.