AUTHOR-CHAN, IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING BELOW, WE ARE SORRY! ♡

reviewed by: atychi-

title of the book: How You Left Me

author: Foodisbae12233

review on title (what you think):

Considering the story I read, it’s very good!

review on the cover:

At first glance it looked fairly amateur, but when I look closer, I really like it. The font works well with the image rather than it just being a random font.

review on the grammar:

Actually, it was really good! There wasn’t anything I found myself stumbling over (grammar-wise, at least), and if there was one spot or two, it didn’t hinder my reading at all.

review on the punctuation:

Punctuation was fine, there wasn’t anything in particular that I noticed. Except one thing, which is PLEASE USE PARAGRAPHS! Every time someone new is talking, that should be a new paragraph. Without paragraphs, I have no idea who’s talking when and it keeps me from really sinking into the story. I had to go back and reread multiple times just to figure out who was speaking, which was annoying and tedious.

review on the character development:

There really wasn’t any, honestly. These characters were thrown at the readers with no backstory. We had no reason to like them or dislike them. It felt very rushed. I’m not saying you have to go into depth about their pasts, but just... give us some more experience with them. In the morning, instead of the girl just hopping out of bed and changing into an outfit and rushing to school, give us MORE. Did she slam her hand on her alarm clock after not sleeping all night? Did her dog wake her up early? Does she even have a dog? These are all questions that, if answered, would allow us to get closer to the characters and sink into their world.

review on the plot:

By chapter three, I had no idea what the story was going to be about. You just kind of threw the stories around. One chapter we’re in detention. Nothing happens. Another chapter comes, we’re walking to class. Nothing happens. Don’t put things in your story that isn’t necessary. By chapter five, I was finally like, “Ohhhh, so THAT’S where it was going!” and I became a bit more interested. Take out the unneeded scenes. The whole art class scene, for one, seemed completely unnecessary. There are easier ways to incorporate how much the girls hated those guys.

overall review (your general thoughts):

It was... okay. Plotline, not so good. Writing, actually pretty good! Two MAJOR things. The first one, paragraphs, but I already told you about that. Second, please, PLEASE stop it with the author’s notes randomly placed throughout the story. Be confident! If you don’t know if something’s a word, don’t put something after it in parentheses questioning it! If you’re writing something sad, don’t add afterwards that it made you tear up! It ruins the moment. Author’s notes are okay at the beginning and end of chapters, but never do them in the middle. Please. Seriously. It would be so much better if you took all of that out. Also, when the characters are introduced, DESCRIBE their outfits. Don’t use pictures. Otherwise, it was pretty good, if not kind of a cliche. Keep writing!