This is a celebratory chapter because Wattpad was so helpful in returning the chapter and even though I know a lot of you got the chance to read it before this is just in respect to the people who didn't get it. Lot of confusion there probably but they could now scroll back and find it. So as promised I'm here with a chapter, (I'm hiding to write this) because I'm thankful to the people who volunteered to help me get my stuff back. You guys are seriously awesome. So I hope I did you good with this chapter.
It's Payne's (insert mischievous emoji here)

Payne's P.O.V

My hind legs were fucking burning but that didn't say shit. My wolf was more than happy to finally be let out and as I ran in my jet black wolf form with my one single stripe of white running from my right eye to my right ear I growled loudly in frustration. This was supposed to help clear my head but as it seemed it just made things worse, my wolf kept going on and on about my being an asshole and switching so easily on Alexis but he didn't realize how hard this was for me. He should be happy that I was actually talking and interacting with her and for the love of fuck I was talking to my sister the same way. Well, we were talking, not the lovie dovie brother and sister chats but we were talking and that's the most important part but even with all my mini advances it wasn't good enough, what did my wolf expect, did he expect Alexis and I to just run off in the sunset after I saved her from her captor. It wasn't like that with us. She knew my ways and parts of my reason and she knew not to expect a fairytail after that. That's why she left. The stupid thing was I went after her and what I thought was going to be an official goodbye turned into an emotional moment where I felt like someone took a dull dagger and kept pounding it into my heart. I couldn't let her leave and thats why I made my proposition but then what?
What happens when I carry her home and we're back with my pack? Am I supposed to inform them that I've found my mate?
That wouldn't really matter though because:

1. That wasn't any of their fucking business.

2. That would make Alexis and I official on something that we obviously weren't official on.

Fucking hell.
I needed to get these thoughts out of my head before I run to the end of the world. At this point I could already hear the human town a few miles ahead and that wasn't a good thing. They'd freak the hell out if they saw me in my wolf form but in my human form, I knew almost half the town of Judson. Weird name for a town but apparently the guy who foundered the place was pretty proud of his son Judson. Weird name for a guy too.

Anyway, I knew the people here and usually came by to add piercings and now, the piercing on my nipples didn't seem like enough. I needed more. I needed alcohol too.

Changing back to my human form I caught my breath and leaned against a tree trunk as I changed back into my black jeans and my wifebeater t-shirt.

My shitkicker boots were next and I began sprinting toward the town. This was exactly the kind of break I needed right now.

***********
"Are you finished already? I didn't even feel you start." I informed the guy with the piercing gun.

The only thing I was feeling on my left brow and my lip was a slight tickling sensation. I didn't feel anything else.

"Whatever hardass, just check my work out." He handed me a hand mirror and I watched what took about five minutes to do.

There was a silver stud at the bottom of the left side of my lip and another one at the top of it. The one on my eyebrow was a simple twin stud the same and even though it felt like I did much to my appearance, I saw straight through all of that shit.

It was time to head over to the bars now. Present life wasn't worth being sober for. I needed to get shitfaced and get home and sleep the days off. Not like the alcohol in my stomach would fill the hole in my chest. Never felt this shit before and it was depressing the shit out of me. I had Alexis back but I didn't truly have her and I wasn't sure whether the pain I felt was because of that or because of how much she suddenly meant to me. I didn't want her to mean anything. She'd turn into my weakness and I hated being weak but who could ignore her. She was weird at times and she was so strong and brave when it came to talking to me. No one truly does that and I know she's sometimes afraid that I'd hit her but now its proven that I can't push her away by hurting her.

God I needed a drink.

"Thanks Luke." I hollered at the human male and took out my wallet and threw out a few hundreds. I didn't bother to check how much but I knew I gave him a boss of a tip. It was worth it though, a few more and some decorative tattoos and I'd be free from the fuck up of a face I got.

Waving him off and beginning on my way to VinsBind Bar I tried to ignore all the complicated thoughts going through my head. No way was I going to fall for Alexis. No way was I going to trap her in my net of failures and cause her any trouble. I couldn't be a mate to her but maybe that word friend could be included. Wait a minute, I just said I was trying to ignore my complicated thoughts. This shit wasn't helping.

A few blocks down flooding my brain with thoughts about, you know, stuff like how the world works and why the grass is green instead of pink, I made it to VinsBind. The entire place was crowded with humans, they were all in their different sections. The drug dealers to the back in black who got regular visits from the prostitutes that modeled around the wide space with barely any clothes on and the partiers that had nothing to live for and were going to get wasted for the fun of it. Then last but not least there were my types at the bar counter, the depressed, lonely son of a bitches. The air stunk of smoke, sweat and alcohol. Not a good combination right now. As I got up to the bar counter and sat my ass on a stool a few seats away from a guy that looked like he was a few minutes away from swallowing a bullet, I called up the bar tender and told that bitch to give me the strongest thing he had and keep the fuckers coming until I said stop.

He was back before I knew it with a drink he said he customarily made, it was called the Brainfucker.

Woo hoo ! I'd be lucky if I even got a little drunk though, werewolves had seriously fast recovery systems that loved fucking with you so you didn't get drunk but your stomach felt like you drank out the entire ocean.

How beautiful was life as a werewolf. Freaking gorgeous isn't it?

One of the best parts about coming around here was that all these humans didn't know who or what I was and what I was capable of. It gave me my own sort of peace actually. Almost like I had a clean slate but that was only for the short while the day lasted.

***********

So long story short, a couple of that Brainfucker drink and I was literally shit faced. Not completely drunk but there was enough in me to make the world spin on its axis around me.
I'd be good in about an hour or two though, this buzzing feeling didn't last long on werewolves and with the group of assholes that just entered the place wearing leather and acting like King Kong on the moon, my being drunk around them wasn't a good idea. It was time for me to leave.

Dropping a few bills for the bartender and catching a couple of heated gazes from the prostitutes around me that beelined around the entire building I felt immediately repulsed by such low humans. These women had no respect for themselves and even if times got hard and they needed to do something to bring food on the table, I'm sure they could have found a number of other jobs instead of becoming a human toy to sick, desperate human males. I felt sorry for the poor girls, being a maid was so much better than this life they chose and I'd never sleep with any of them, I could simply hand them the money and leave without any physical satisfaction whatsoever. Guess that's why my father did what he did to me but I won't get into that, that fucking bastard did me things that made the whippings seem like birthday kisses.

Enough talk about the past though, I was a good way from the castle and the alcohol haze would completely be gone by the time I reached the front door.

Making my way through the crowd and entering the cool night air was refreshing. No more of that unsettling scent from those all those humans in there.

I made sure I was at the nearest forest like area and away from prying eyes before I changed into my wolf and began running back home. At least my wolf has a steady head and isn't a little hazy as well.

In a matter of an hour or so, I didn't really take count to be honest because I didn't give a fuck about what time I reached back, I saw that I was approaching the castle and even though my body was clear from the buz I didn't want to think about anything too much. Couldn't deal with that shit right now.

Changing back and getting dressed, I went to the front door and tried to turn invisible as I made my way to my room. Wasn't in the mood to talk to .... I wasn't even going to say her name in my mind and I sure as fuck didn't want to talk to my sister either.

But my turning invisible trick didn't really work because as soon as I turned the corner to where my room was located Payge was standing against my bedroom door with her hands crossed over her chest, her face set as if she was determined to get something out of her mouth.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Her eyes snapped to mine as she saw me enter the hall and she straightened.

"I need to talk to you Pay-"

"Nope, not doing this. Good night." But she didn't budge away from my door. Fucking great. "what the hell do you want now?"

"Why do you smell like you've been drinking. It's obviously at that human bar again isn't it? What are you doing? You can't......" That's where all I saw was her lips moving and her body moving in motions as she spoke angrily at me but I didn't hear anything she was saying. I refused to. I knew what she was going to say.

"-if Alexis sees you like this? Wait. You don't even care do you? You keep shutting people out and you'll be left with no one!"

I felt a bubble of anger but I compressed it because I didn't want to argue. Didn't have the strength to do this.

"I would actually love to be left alone by you, Alexis and the whole fucking world. Now get out of my way. I can't do this right now." She actually moved but I knew this wasn't over.

"Is this how you deal with your shit? Because it's not helping anything around here you dumb fuck!" Ah, so that's where I got angry and she was too. This wasn't going to be good and her yelling was even more infuriating.

"And how do you deal with your shit? Please, why don't you tell me Payge since you're a saint to the ugliness of the world because I sure as fuck know what you do. You think what I'm doing isn't right? I drink when I get too fucked up in the head but you," I paused and gestured to her, "You get a little upset and you go fucking all kinds of guys, you think I don't see them when they leave your room?" The look of utter shock covered her face as her eyes grew wide. "Yeah, I know what you do so don't fucking tell me what to do. I deal with my own shit my way and my fucking way alone same as you do. Don't you dare come telling me off like you're a saint, 'cuz you're not." With that, I entered my room so fast and slammed the door shut so hard I was afraid I'd rip it out of the hinges.

With a pounding heart and my anger flooding my brain, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep like this.

I went to bathroom and took a shower in hopes of calming myself but nothing could remove the rage I felt for all those times I saw numerous men leave my sister's room. She thought I didn't know? The only thing I didn't know was how good it felt to see that look of shock and embrassament slapped across her face but even with the truth out, I knew our arguments had just begun, gone were the days when we never spoke, O how I wish I could return to them.

So... What do you think?
Hehehe, Payge isn't all that innocent huh?
Well I hope you guys enjoyed this, I'm not sure when I could do it again, so much stuff is going on with school and everything so... I'm not sure...
Well until next time,
Bye guys.
Xoxo
Random.