arabianblack ... thanks for commenting that song.
#Sia- fire meets gasoline
It so fits my story an I'm in love with it Sia is an amazing singer and that song rocks!!
I listened it the entire time I wrote this chapter.
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"What? " I asked breathless from the kiss and I knew my face was probably the deepest shade of red.

"I'm not ashamed of you Alexis. I don't think you're weak. I'm stronger than you are, yes but you're not weak. Not to me. I know what I said when we first met and I had every intention to follow through at that time but now I can't. I'm not trying to make you suffer but you're telling me you are, I told you the reason we couldn't go public is because you'd be a way for my enemies to get to me. We're public now and you're officially a target. You're good as dead now." He spoke for only me to hear but as he spoke I could see his jaw tighten and despite his actions I could see he didn't want this. All playfulness gone.

The crowd was still cheering and they were distracted enough to not pick up our conversation.

Payne turned away and I knew he was upset. This isn't what he wanted.

Grabbing his hand I entwined our fingers but he didn't return the gesture.

"Nothing's going to happen to me. You'll keep me safe. You're not weak. You're the strongest person I know. Stop doubting yourself. If I am going to die Payne, I'd rather I'd die knowing I had my mate even if he doesn't love me." I gave him a sad smile and as I reassured him he shook his head and began to pull away once more. He always did this. What was the point in him making us public if he had every intention to pull away again.
Tightening my hand on his I went directly in front of him.
"I trust you, with my heart and my life. Its time to trust yourself Payne. Look at what you've accomplished here. Protecting these hundreds of people including your sister, what's one more?"

As if to argue or try to reason with me he began saying something but I cut him off.

"Don't do this. " my voice caught and I felt my fears return. My heart throbbed in my chest and I knew it was only a matter of time before he broke it. Again. Tears filled in my eyes and before I could continue Payne took me off the stage and we walked back to the benches. The music had started back and everyone returned to the party like they didn't care that their Alpha just made out with someone on the stage. What if it wasn't the first time they'd seen him with someone?

"Why are you crying?" He asked panicked and he tried hugging me once more but I pushed him away. "What? Isn't this what you're supposed to do when someone's crying?" He looked like he genuinely didn't know.

"You keep doing this to me! Over and over and over. You made no sense at all with what you just did. I was upset over my parents and you and I wanted you to end this. End everything! But then you did that, you kissed me." I paused trying to control by breathing and the tear but theu wouldn't stop and the lump in my throat only made it harder to talk. "Taking my mind off of everything, only to bring it back ten times worse when you do this. Again!" I yelled at him. My voice broke so many times while talking I felt my throat begin to sore. "I can't believe you Payne. Stop this! Be with me! Everyone knows now, don't you think this is the time to be with me? To protect me! Think about it! For once think about the consequences of your actions!"

Suddenly as pissed off as I was Payne took a step closer holding my right hand pulling me closer but not close enough.

"Don't you think that's all I've been doing! I have no fucking idea what I'm going to do now!" He argued back and his grip on my arm tightened.

"Well then stop trying to read into the future expecting someone to use me to get to you! Stop thinking the worse out of everything. Just accept everything for what it is now. We'll deal with later when it reaches. I want you and you know you want me. Enjoy this Please. Be with me, don't push me away again. I can't keep doing this. I need you to be with me."

A frown pulled his plump lips down and he shook his head, "Stop saying that. I can't. I won't be able to protect you." As if speaking to himself he continued more hushed, "I'm not strong enough and I'll only make things worse."

"What are you talking about?" I pulled my arm out of his grip and held his face in my hands so he'd look directly at me. "Who told you that?" I demanded and his eyes returned to mine but as he looked at me. The frown lines in his face, the way his eyes were hollow and filled with fear in them I knew this wasn't good. He looked like a terrified kid.

"My father." He said softly and I tried to contain my rage.

"Fuck him." I growled out and his eyes grew. "He's dead. His words mean nothing and they haunt you to keep you from getting attached to any thing, he doesn't want you happy. Forget him
Forget what he said. He was wrong." The determination to get through to him must have shone through my eyes because his eyes grew with understanding and he stayed silent for a while. Letting my words sink in.

I released his face and wrapped my arms around his torso.
"I want to be with you Payne, don't let him ruin this for us. He's wrong about you."

His stiff hands laid flat at his sides and there was a point in our embrace I thought he wasn't breathing. He was, but they were shallow breaths. "Please don't leave me again. Don't shut me out." I cried into his shirt inhaling the intoxicating smell of Payne.

We stood there for a while with my arms wrapped around him and him not returning the hug but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let go. After a while I felt his body relax and his arms wrap around me. One of his hands rose toward my face cupping my chin and making me look at him.

One look into those silver orbs and I was gone.

I saw the pain, The torture, The terror, The grief of his past as he looked at me I knew he was looking for assurance once more.

"He's wrong?" It sounded more like a question more than a statement and I nodded.

Payne leant his head against mine and we stayed in our embrace for what felt like forever. It should have been.

"Okay." He said and I moved my head back and watched him. "I want you too Alexis." He said softly and I felt my heart jolt inside of me. I'd never heard him say it before and I'd never expected him to but as he did I had to stop myself from crying. I'd waited for him to say those words and mean it since the day we met.

"Be with me?" I asked in a whisper and he nodded his head against me. "Don't run away again."

With a shaky breath he dipped his head and placed a soft peck on my lips.

"I won't," he said pulling back and taking my hand in his.

We made our way back to the crowd and I could already see Payge in the distance.

Right before we entered the crowd however I heard Payne mumble something under his breath. It sounded a lot like, "I hope I don't regret this."

And to reassure him once more that everything was going to be okay I tightened my hand around his.

I didn't know what the future held for us, I didn't know if everything was going to work out and the worrying and fear of war or my kidnapping was just Payne being paranoid.

I hope it was just his paranoia.

Looking up at Payne beside me I knew he was all I'd ever want. I hope he kept to his word and would finally be with me, but even though he said yes and that he wouldn't run.
Payne was known for being unpredictable. He could snap and change any minute.

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Yes I know its short but it was all I could get in. My school starts back this Monday and I'll try to see how much updates I could get in before I have to pause...
Happy new year in advance !!
My whole speech is in the other chapter... But I meant every word in it.
I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their night or day... Depends on where you are but by me its night...
So .. 2016!!!
Turn up!!!

BTW Your comments on the last chapter made my day today.. You guys are amazing..
Thank you for all the love and support and making my book reach this far I'd never think it would get so much views and stuff but here we are !! And I'm so grateful... I literally sit and read every single comment ...
Don't judge !!
I'm just a little weird sometimes..

Until next update which will be in 2016!!!
Xoxo

Random.