++unedited chapter but you know, whatever right?++

"That son of a witch," I said under my breath.

All ears turned towards me along with the rest of their bodies.

"I know where they are." My feet were already spun the opposite direction. "How could we have not thought of this earlier?"

"Where are they?" Alice snapped, but my shoes were already squeaking down the hall.

I jumped down the staircase, grabbing onto the next railing and leaped over. Sprinting down the empty halls, I slammed my side against the cafeteria doors, hurling myself through. I ran through the honey colours creeping through the windows, sliding over the lunch counter and reached for the door knob. I rattled it.

"Hells Bells," I screeched and pounded a fist against the steel. "Roger, if you can hear me say something!"

Silence filled my ears.

I pressed my cheek to the door and heard a rhythm of short breaths. "Roger!" Anger burned in my chest. "Roger!" I backtracked two steps. A hot shot of animalistic rage rushed under my palm and I smashed it against the door. The steel cracked and I sent my heel forward, silver pieces shattering to the floor.

A whoosh of cold air blew past my face as light spilled into the room, Roger's eyes flickered open. A human intestine was used to tie his feet and arms behind him. One side of his face on the ground, I skid forward and flipped him over. I slapped his cheeks, and his flab jiggled until he snapped awake.

"The freezer?! You're shitting me," Lance exclaimed behind me.

I ripped the gag out of Roger's mouth. "It's shitting sandwiches," he corrected.

Alice shoved Lance to the side and roared, "What in hell happened?!"

I sunk my teeth into the intestine, ripping it off of Roger. He rubbed his wrists and nodded his head to the corner. "Why don't you ask the guy wearing blood?"

A moan escaped in the dark part of the freezer.

I pushed aside a cart, and stared at the disfigured man with his arms and legs twisted in angles that nature never planned.

"Don't go near it, woman!" Lance shot, but I already pressed my finger into it's forehead, pushing the body over.

"Archer?" I whispered.

Skin and boxers caked in red, his shredded shirt barely covered his scratched torso. Gashes opened up his arms and legs, and he kept shivering and moaning, eyes tightly shut.

I hooked my arm under his and lifted him to sit up. Crusts of dried blood fell from his hair, and I lightly slapped his cheek. No flab jiggled. What a surprise.

"Archer. Archer," I called. "Roger, you gonna tell me what in hell's carnation happened?!"

"He was chasing me," he simply answered.

I pictured that. It wasn't pretty. "You must've been scared shitless."

Roger shrugged. "Better than having his testicles explode on me."

Lance scrunched his brows together and I mentally imagined grabbing the fridge and smashing it over Roger's head.

"How did you know he'd be in the freezer?" Lance asked.

I shrugged. "It's where Roger would've fled to first."

"If I was going to die, I was going to die with my sandwich next to me," Roger simply explained.

"You are the stupidest creature I have ever met," Price spoke.

A groan raised from Archer and Alice's order struck me by surprise.

"Step away from him." She was already advancing.

But I harshly slapped Archer across the face and screamed, "Fucking wake up slut!"

His eyelids cracked open, the white part of his eyes consumed by a web of red. "Vhalerie?" he barely breathed.

Lance and Price went towards their friend, but Alice already tore him away, his body floating next to her. "I'll take care of him."

"What are you doing?!" Lance shot, leaping towards her, but Price kept an arm around his waist.

"You better not hurt him!"

"Uh. Don't mean to be a downer but he already looks pretty hurt anyway. Did you not see those cuts?"

"What the fuck happened to Archer?! What is wrong with your school?! You're all fucking psychotic and weird as shit and-and-and-"

Price put a hand on his arm, but he stepped back, furiously shaking his head. "No. I'm honestly done with this. If she hurts Archer, I will come after you."

"Boohoo. Let me go cry in my room and bury myself in fear as I lay next to Blankie and Mr. Teddy and lose sleep over your horrifying threat."

Lance shot a glare and stormed out, Price following in a shrug.

I let out a long sigh, staring after them. "I ship it."

"Girl. My sandwich and I were canon a long time ago. I'm surprised we haven't had children yet," Roger said.

"No, I mean. Archer and Lance. Totally ship it. Couple of the year." We walked out of the freezer, past melting ice cream and meat that'll probably go bad. "And what's this about children? I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother."

"It's okay. Maybe I'll name one after you."

"You and your sandwich children," I sighed.

"I'd make a great father," Roger added.

"Let's just hope their pickle dicks won't be as small as yours."

Wrinkles folded on his forehead, and I lifted one shoulder up in a shrug. "Eh. Okay, you probably would."

Returning to the hallway, darkness loomed over me and my lips curved down. "I swear it was just morning like, two seconds ago. Did someone move the sun again?" I glanced up, discovering the shadow of an army. By army, I mean at least a quarter of the Villain Academy standing before me.

"We know you did it, Vhalerie," Hope growled.

I sucked in a sharp breath and winced. "You know, for a dark fairy, you really stretch it in terms of cuteness."

She threw her butterfly patterned nails up. "We're going to find out how you did it. And when we do-"

"Wait. Hold on. I feel a yawn coming up." I stretched my arms back, projecting a nasty, lioness one from my O-shaped mouth. I scratched my side, and lifted an apologetic hand. "Sorry, sorry. It's just that I haven't gotten any sleep and I've already been threatened to die, like, once already tonight." I waved her on. "Never mind. Continue."

Villains behind her grumbled, witch brooms and mummy wrappings shaking in the air. Hope put her fingers on her tiny waist-she was practically a life-sized doll-and roared. "We're going to find out how you did it. And when-"

I yawned again.

"We're going to find out how-"

Yawwwwwwwn.

"We're going-"

Yawnnnnnnnn.

"We're-"

Yawwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

"W-"

I burped. I pounded my chest twice, squeezing another burp. "Sorry. I just can't stop yawwwwwwning." A long sigh dragged out of me. "Look. I feel awful asking you this because I'm sure you've all been looking forward to dissing me but could we put this on pause and like, try again in a few hours? When I have more gas in my awake tank?"

Taken aback, Hope failed to find words and let out a short scream. "Fine! For Hells sake, sleep then!"

I grew a tired smile, and put a hand on her freakishly small shoulder. "Thanks, you're a doll." I pecked a kiss on her cheek before lightly slapping it twice. "You're a feisty little bitch yet you make it so adorable."

Turning my back to the crowd, Roger hobbled beside me with his sandwich.

Her voice still shrieked down the hall. "We'll hunt you down once you wake up!"

"Uh huh," I sang, walking away.

"Half the school hates you!"

"I know, I hate myself too."

"I'm going to kill you someday!"

"I have hope you will!"

Roger bit the crust off. "You're a horrible being," he told me.

With everyone still drawn to the gym, our footsteps echoed down the empty hallways.

"I know." I paused at the water fountain and pulled the machete from under my shirt. "Mind telling me what happened this morning?" I began washing it under the stream of water shooting out.

"I told you. Archer chased me like a psychopathic maniac! It was both exciting and terrifying and now that I remember, I think I need to change my pants."

I made a weird face and glimpsed over my shoulder. "Ew. At least you didn't shit yourself. Anyway, I need more detail than that."

He broke out into a yawn, and I gave him that "You're kidding" look. He stopped yawning. "Fine. This morning I was in a peaceful slumber, cradling my sandwich next to my chest when suddenly, I feel someone touching..."

I gestured him to continue.

He shuffled his feet, my gaze holding his. "Touching my..." He swallowed hard. "Touching my sandwich."

I gasped and poured an exaggerated tone. "How dare he touch your sandwich?!"

He glared, pointing his sausage finger at me. "It was scary okay! I screamed and fell off the bed. Archer was hovering over me-my sandwich in his filthy hands! It was horrendous! Then he ate it. He ate my sandwich. I reached for the emergency knife you strapped under my bed, but found it in his other hand. I rolled out of the way as he drove it seconds after where I laid. You should've seen me! Ever seen a fat boy run? That was me!"

"I escaped the dorms and hid in the freezer. The screams from outside hurt my ears and I tried sleeping, thinking of sandwiches and tomorrow's lunch. But minutes later, he somehow got in. He smelled like blood and I tried scaring him off with a piece of bread, but he tied me up. He kept screaming in this language. It was a weird ass language-definitely not Latin. Then just as he was going to slice me up, he collapsed; dropped to the floor and was out cold. I thought he was dead. I couldn't really check since-you know-he tied me up with a human intestine."

"Could you recite the language for me?" I asked.

"I don't remember it. But it was fucking freaky."

I scrubbed the blood off the machete, it glistening under the water fountain. "Sounds like Archer finally went mad. At least the academy won't question his sanity."

"You caused the slaughter," Roger accused.

"Did not."

"Did too. You gave him the BloodLust."

'I sent a harsh poke to his chest and he stumbled back. "You think I would've given it to Archer if I knew he'd turn into a raging psychopathic killer with a thirst for warm flesh and rich blood?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"I hate how you're right." I lifted up one finger. "But, I promise on the spawn of Satan that I didn't know this time. I mean, if I really wanted half the school slaughtered, I would've done it already."

"You really fucked up this time."

"Shut up. It was a teeny, tiny slipup."

"The headmistress is now interrogating Archer; risking his identity and companions, a thousand villains are dead, the academy accuses you and Archer of being the killers, and you're nowhere near close to figuring out what kind of beast you are." He removed a finger sandwich from his back pocket and took a bite. "Your life is shit," he muffled.

I slapped the sandwich out of his hand. "You're shit!"

"Even your comebacks are shit," he said and picked the sandwich off the floor. "Better take the reins on this one before you lose all control." He ate the sandwich.

I hooked my blade back onto my hip. "You can bet on your ham and cheese I will."

+++

A/N: It took me nearly 3 weeks to write this ugly chapter. Lol. Senior year is cutting into my writing time but hopefully with Nanowrimo starting tomorrow, I'll get back into full swing (aka, that's the story with the pregnant Satan which-btw-super stoked about).

Happy Halloween everyone! What are you being for Halloween?

Fun fact: Tomorrow, November 1st, was the day I joined Wattpad! Four years ago...Hells Bells it's been a long journey! Love you all!

Xx 8tracks/ Twister King