FIVE: TOO MUCH TO ASK
"Mummy, why are we having a treat breakfast?"
"Hmm?" Georgie looked back at her daughter, having been gazing out of the cafe window for the past couple of minutes, caught up in a daydream of whatever thoughts had been lingering since she'd woken up that morning.
"Why are we having a treat breakfast?" Nellie repeated, used to the routine of jam on toast and an apple for breakfast before school rather than a plate of pancakes at the trendy cafe two streets away from Nellie's school.
"Because I've been so busy with work I feel like I've not seen enough of you, little love," Georgie smiled, nabbing a blueberry from Nellie's plate, "I know you love being with your Uncle Alex, but I miss you when I have to work late."
The guilt that weighed on Georgie's heart every time she had to leave Nellie for work was heavier than any burden she had known before. She knew when she went ahead with the pregnancy that being a single parent would be tough, she just hadn't realised how much guilt would come with that. Their morning breakfast trip was an attempt to make up for Georgie's absence, perhaps triggered by her brother being tied up with Ofsted inspections at work, but nevertheless, she was trying to be the mother she wanted to be for her little girl.
"Will you be home tonight?" Nellie asked, a hopeful look in her eyes, a look that reminded her of River. That had been one of the first things Georgie had noticed in Nellie's first year, her eyes were just like River's, regardless of what emotion she expressed, she became the spit of her father.
"I'll try to be," Georgie assured her, "But I'll definitely be all yours this weekend, and we can do whatever you want, how does that sound?"
"I like that," Nellie nodded, "Can we go to the zoo again?"
"Of course we can," Georgie assured her with a smile.
"Mummy," Nellie looked up from her now tepid pancakes, the cafe's portion size being inevitably overwhelming for an adult, never mind a child, "Why don't I have a Daddy?"
Georgie's heart broke at her daughter's words, knowing that it was her own actions that kept Nellie and River from each other. It was easy to blame that decision on River's actions, but it had been Georgie's choice to keep River in the dark, as though it were a punishment for what he'd done to her.
"You do have a Daddy, poppet," Georgie smiled, squeezing Nellie's hands, "But he has to do big important work all over the world, and he wants us to stay here and be safe, because he loves you so very much."
"But I don't know him," Nellie frowned, still not quite understanding what her mother meant.
"Because he went away when you were still in my tummy," Georgie reminded her, "And the work was so important he couldn't wait."
"Did he go away like Ro-Ro?" Nellie asked, startling Georgie with yet another difficult question.
"Yeah, Just like Ro-Ro," Georgie nodded, deciding that it was best to wait until Nellie was older to explain the intricacies of the situations she'd found herself in, "Now how about we get you to school?"
"Okay," Nellie nodded with a smile as Georgie collected both of their bags, offering the cafe owner a wave, having already paid when she ordered their food.
The walk to Nellie's school was easy enough and it was busy, being peak school run time. The pair walked hand in hand down the street, amongst other parents and children but something didn't feel quite right, as though Georgie had eyes on her. She'd always been good at shaking off a tail, but she wasn't quite keen on trying to do so while her daughter was in her company, instead she carried on as normal, rounding the corner and heading straight down the street towards the school.
"Skiving?"
Georgie almost jumped out of her skin as she laid eyes on Lamb sitting on a nearby bench, a takeaway box in his hand, which given how early it was, Georgie assumed was his breakfast.
"Can you not do that?" Georgie hissed, looking over her shoulder in search of whoever might be following her.
"Who's the sprog?" Lamb gestured to Nellie who was nervously clinging to her mother's side.
"This is Nellie," Georgie replied, hoping he wouldn't put the pieces together, "Nells, say hello."
"Hello," Nellie said softly, unsure what to make of the strange looking man her mother seemed to trust.
"Do you make a habit of lingering outside schools?" Georgie asked Lamb, hoping to hurry the conversation along so that she could drop Nellie off.
"Just so happened to be on the route of my morning walk," Lamb told her.
"Well, I've got to get Nellie to school, so I'll see you at work," Georgie replied, turning to guide Nellie to the school gates.
"I'll wait," Lamb answered.
Lamb did wait, he was still there after Georgie dropped Nellie off and left the school. She immediately feared the worst when she laid eyes on him, wondering just how much he knew.
"How old is the kid?" Lamb asked as he stood up from his bench, "And don't try and fob me off by saying she was born three years ago from some drunken one night stand."
"If you already know then why are you asking?" Georgie sighed, her eyes trained on the pavement below her feet.
"I want to hear you say it," Lamb remarked, "I want you to tell me that the justice minister's granddaughter is a Cartwright junior."
Georgie looked up at Lamb with fear in her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't get to River before she did, praying that Lamb hadn't already revealed all to him.
"Now, I know Cartwright's not the sharpest tool in the box, but when he finds out you've got a sprog, it's not going to take him long to work out where she came from," Lamb told her as they walked, "So I suggest you tell him before Ho finds her birth certificate, puts two and two together and miraculously comes up with four."
"I didn't think we'd be working together when I kept her," Georgie whispered as the wind found itself caught up in her hair, "Then he saw her the day I started and I said she was my brother's child."
"Well, you've fucked up there, haven't you?" Lamb muttered, "Who knows?"
"Sid, she was there when I found out I was pregnant, before everything...well, you probably know everything," Georgie sighed.
"Yeah," Lamb nodded, "And you'll be fucked if Ho works all of this out."
As Georgie crossed the threshold into Slough House she was met with the sight of River in Roddy's office, her heart raced in fear that she was too late and Ho might've been revealing all to River if he'd discovered the truth. But as she edged closer she was filled with instant relief to hear them discussing pi.
"It's pi, running to an infinite number of places," Roddy told River as Georgie lingered in the doorway, aware of what it was they were looking at, given River's battles with the flashbox the day before it didn't take a genius to put the pieces together.
"Is there anything else behind it?" River asked Roddy, still unaware of Georgie's presence, "Any other files on the stick? Anything?"
"No where'd you get it?" Roddy asked.
"Hobden," Georgie spoke up, capturing River's attention, "You copied the files?"
"You know I did," River replied, referring to when he'd opened the flashbox the day before.
"You didn't tell me you'd copied them," Georgie quipped.
"Well, how'd you know what was on it anyway?" River asked.
"Sid told me." Georgie answered.
"So she's seen it too?" River frowned.
"Seems like he used it as a decoy," Roddy told the pair, "He was expecting a snatch, cool cat."
"Thanks, Roddy, very helpful," River smiled as he followed Georgie out of the office, "Why would he be expecting a snatch?"
"I don't know," Georgie sighed as they made their way up the stairs to their office, already agitated by her run in with Lamb, "What do you think The Park will do if they find out you opened a flashbox?"
"Well, they're not going to find out, are they?" River replied as they reached the top of the staircase.
Georgie took his hand in hers, inspecting the damage caused by the flashbox, "Did it hurt?"
"No," River answered as he attempted to ignore the way her skin felt against his, "Well, a bit."
Georgie looked up at him and then back down at his hand, slapping the damaged skin before walking away towards their office, "Fuck, Jesus Christ, George," He winced as he followed after her.
"Look, I know you landed here with a bit of a bump, we both did," Georgie sighed.
"Yeah, I've still got whiplash," River muttered.
"If you want to do something useful, you could get rid of the stinking rubbish that's still in our office," Georgie told him, having hoped he might have dealt with it in the last twenty four hours or so.
"Yeah, but I want to actually be properly useful, Georgie, don't you?" River sighed, "Do something, I mean, I could not be more bored if I tried, George, and I have actually tried, and if the Park are looking at Hobden, then that means that something is finally happening here."
"Exactly, it's the Park's business, not ours," Georgie replied, brushing past him, feeling a need to avoid trouble at all costs.
"Cartwright, come see this!" Roddy called out from his office downstairs.
Georgie hurried back down the staircase, followed by River, she was panicked that Roddy had found Nellie's birth certificate or maybe he'd hacked into her emails and found correspondences between her and the hospital about prenatal appointments when she was pregnant with Nellie.
"Hostage," Roddy announced as River and Georgie entered the office, and as much as Georgie hated to admit it, her first thought was that of relief that Roddy wasn't about to do an exposé on the daughter River knew nothing about.
"Is it live?" River asked as the pair stood behind Roddy, watching the video of a masked person tied to a chair in some sort of dark cellar or basement.
"Popped up on a Middle East chat feed a few hours ago," Roddy told the pair, "Media have just picked up on it."
"He's holding today's Express," Georgie muttered, gesturing to the newspaper's in the person's clutches.
"Shit, he's being held here," River glanced at Georgie with genuine concern in his gaze.
The rest of the team slowly trickled into Roddy's office until everyone except Lamb had surrounded his multi-screen setup, watching the news coverage of the hostage situation.
"I don't think we should be watching this," Struan sighed nervously.
"The rest of the country is," Ho glanced over his shoulder.
"Has anyone claimed responsibility yet?" Standish asked.
"No, no one," Sid shook her head.
"Well, it would be ISIS, wouldn't it?" Min declared.
"Or one of their tribute groups," River added, perched on the edge of the desk as Georgie stood beside him, his knee brushing hers and yet neither of them made an effort to separate.
"Well, what the fuck's it got to do with you?" Lamb remarked as he hovered in the doorway, "Whatever's going on will be a job for the real agents, not you fuckups."
"Way to boost morale, Lamb," Georgie muttered, earning a smirk from River as Lamb ventured further into the room.
"Yo, what's this?" Roddy remarked, returning the group's attention to the video.
"Looks like a walking stick," Min suggested.
"Yeah, maybe he's been snatched by the Ramblers Association," Lamb quipped.
"No, it's an ax," Standish was quick to add as they removed the hostage's hood.
"He's not white," Min muttered.
"That's why he was wearing gloves," Georgie told the group.
"Fuck."
"Who's got him then?" Struan asked, as though someone in the room might know.
"It could still be Islamists, he could be a non believer, or maybe he's a squaddie," Moody was quick to suggest.
"He doesn't look like a squaddie," Sid replied, noting the young man's terrified disposition.
"Nah, he looks Pakistani, which to them means Muslim," Lamb told the group.
"To who?" River frowned.
"Oh, you people are slow, bringing you up to speed is like trying to explain Norway to a dog," Lamb remarked, "It'll be right wing nationalists, that's who's got him."
"It's the Sons of Albion who are taking credit," Ho told the team.
"Christ, I hate being right," Lamb muttered.
"Alright, so what do we do then?" River asked.
"What we always do here," Lamb replied, sensing that the Slow Horses becoming involved would only cause more trouble, "Absolutely nothing, come on, back to your desks, all of you out!"
Georgie led the team out of Hoddy's office, River close behind, "Hobden," He remarked, stopping her in her tracks as they lingered in the doorway.
"What?" Georgie frowned.
"His old crew was the British Patriotic Party," River muttered, automatically jumping to the assumption that the two could be connected.
"Yeah, but they split into factions," Georgie reminded him.
"But one of them might have something to do with this, him too," River suggested, his need to be involved concerning Georgie.
"Just leave it," Georgie whispered.
"News flash!" Roddy called out, "You're gonna want to check this out."
Georgie headed back into the office, finding herself a space beside Sid as they kept their eyes on the news coverage of the hostage.
"Sunrise tomorrow, they say they're gonna cut his head off," Roddy told them, "They're gonna strike a blow for Britain."
"This changes nothing, come on, out!" Lamb huffed, gesturing for the group to leave the room, "You've all got papers to shuffle, so why are you still in this room?"
Georgie sighed, walking alongside Sid as they followed the rest of the team out of the room with the intention of returning to her desk upstairs.
"Now, wait, all apologies, answer me one simple question," Lamb halted the team, "Where the fuck is River Cartwright?"
About an hour had passed since River had disappeared from Slough House, and Georgie had found herself using work as a distraction, hoping that River hadn't got himself into trouble simply for the thrill of it. She had tried her hardest not to be concerned about River's whereabouts, but there was something about having him back in her orbit that tugged on her heart in a way no one else did.
Her phone buzzed and she picked it up, expecting that perhaps it was an SOS from River, but she was met with the phone number of Nellie's school, worrying her slightly.
"Hello?" Georgie answered.
"Miss Knightly, it's Helen from Goswell Park Primary School, is now a good time?" The school receptionist spoke over the phone.
"Yeah, is everything okay?" Georgie asked, cautious of anyone passing by in the office as she spoke.
"Nellie's come to the office with a tummy ache, she's quite upset about it," Helen explained, "Would you like us to keep her in school or would you prefer to pick her up?"
Georgie knew that she was meant to stay at work, and with River awol, she knew it was likely that her absence would be noted. But Nellie needed her, and she'd made herself a promise to show up when Nellie needed her, besides Alex was at work all day, and she couldn't just ask her brother to drop everything and collect Nellie again.
"I'll be there as soon as I can," Georgie told her before ending the call, grabbing her bag and coat before heading upstairs to Lamb's office.
"You heard from Cartwright?" Lamb asked, staring out his office window with a cigarette in hand.
"No, that's not why I'm up here," Georgie replied.
"Well, when he comes back, tie him to his desk by his bollocks," Lamb told her as he took a seat at his desk, "I want my people in here, doing nothing."
"Even if I wanted to, I can't," Georgie sighed.
"And why's that?" Lamb remarked, "You got plans? A hot date?"
"I need to pick Nellie up from school," Georgie told him, watching his blank confused expression, "The sprog...who you met earlier."
Lamb glanced at his watch, "You only dropped her off a couple of hours ago, didn't you?"
"She's not well, they want me to pick her up," Georgie told him, concluding that if he stalled her much longer she'd just leave anyway, "I'll do my work from home if you need me to."
"You told Cartwright yet?" Lamb asked, "Is that why he's gone awol?"
"No, I haven't told him yet," Georgie sighed, "Can you tell me that I can go, because even if you don't I'll just walk out of here anyway."
"Fine," Lamb huffed, watching as the young woman wasted no time leaving his office.
The walk to Nellie's school was quick enough, it was only seven stops on the tube from Slough House, which Georgie was grateful for. She just wanted to pick her little girl up and get her home, she wanted to work out what she was going to do about River.
She entered the school reception, greeted by Helen's smile and a tentative smile from Nellie who was sitting on the sofa, cuddling a stuffed dinosaur.
"Hi, I'm here to collect Nellie," Georgie told Helen, "We spoke on the phone."
"That's right," Helen nodded, "Come on Nellie, your Mummy's here to get you."
Nellie hopped off of the sofa, her school bag and coat in each hand as she approached Georgie, handing both items to her.
"Mine were just the same when they were little," Helen smiled as she watched Georgie slip Nellie's coat on, "Give everything straight to Mum, you end up like a walking coat rack."
"Yeah," Georgie nodded with a hesitant smile before turning her attention to Nellie, "Shall we get you home, little lady?"
Nellie simply nodded, taking her mother's hand as Helen smiled at the pair, "We'll see you tomorrow, Nellie."
"See you tomorrow, Miss Helen," Nellie replied.
"Thank you," Georgie smiled as she led Nellie out of the school building, the cold winter air nipping at their skin as they walked, "I think we should get you home, have a nice warm bath and then you could have a nap while Mummy does some work, how does that sound?"
"Do you have to do work?" Nellie looked up at her mother as they walked hand in hand along the street.
"I'll have to do it at some point, Nells," Georgie told her, gently squeezing her hand.
"I want to have a Mummy and Nellie day," Nellie sighed.
"Nellie," Georgie stopped, crouching in front of her, "Does your tummy still hurt?"
"It's a bit better now," Nellie told her, and if Georgie were to guess, she would say Nellie's stomach ache wasn't entirely true.
"Okay, well why don't we go and see one of the big London palaces for your school project?" Georgie suggested, watching Nellie's eyes light up and the smile on her face grow.
"Uncle Alex took me to see Hever Castle last weekend," Nellie told her, which softened Georgie's heart.
"Well, we'll have to go and see the very biggest one, won't we?" Georgie replied as Nellie nodded eagerly, "Shall we go and see Buckingham Palace?"
"Yes please!"
Georgie and Nellie had enjoyed a brief glance at Buckingham Palace until Nellie became underwhelmed by the lack of moats and turrets that the other castles she'd seen had offered. Nellie's attention span to things like that often reminded Georgie of River, on the few occasions when they'd visited art galleries and museums his attention span was limited, and he'd often find more interest in modern history.
The pair found themselves sitting outside one of the posh nearby cafes, joined by Adam on his break from a day of training new recruits down the road. Despite being abroad so much with work, he'd been a consistent figure in Nellie's life, and she adored him. Georgie was grateful that they had such a supportive group of people around them, she wasn't entirely sure what she'd do without them.
"What did you do when you were away, Adam?" Nellie asked innocently, obviously unaware of what his work entailed.
"Well, I met some new people and saw some big mountains," Adam told her as she sipped her hot chocolate, making the content of his work trip as child friendly as he could, "Do you want to see some pictures?"
"Yes please," Nellie smiled as Adam opened his phone.
"Well, these are the mountains," Adam told her, swiping to the next photos, "This was the sunset in our second week there."
"What's your job, Adam?" Nellie asked.
Adam's gaze flitted to Georgie briefly before he returned his attention to Nellie, "I help keep good people safe from bad people."
"I'd like to do that," Nellie smiled innocently as Adam continued to show her photos from his trip.
Georgie's gaze wandered across the street, eyeing up the various shops that she knew she could never afford on her Slough House wages. They were the sort of places her father would shop, and she just hoped he was too busy working to be shopping, knowing how he'd react to see Nellie out of school.
Her breath faltered when she laid eyes on who or rather what stood on the other side of the road.
"We need to go," Georgie muttered as she picked her bag up and slipped Nellie's backpack onto her shoulders, "Now."
"Georgie, what are you talking about?" Adam frowned, unsettled by her sudden change in demeanor.
"Over there," Georgie muttered, holding her hand out to Nellie, "Come on, Nellie."
Adam glanced across the street at the stretch of overpriced classy shops, including a bank, a deli and a barber's. It was the person standing outside of the barbers that Adam concluded had startled Georgie.
"Nellie, did you know there's another castle around the corner?" Adam knelt in front of her, "Shall we see if we can find it?"
"Yeah," Nellie nodded, interlocking her hand with Georgie's.
"Come on then," Adam smiled, leading the way down the street as Georgie and Nellie walked hand in hand.
"Georgie?"
Georgie pretended she hadn't heard him, she kept walking, hoping that Nellie wouldn't notice. She didn't want it to be like that, she felt cornered and out of her depth, she certainly didn't want Nellie caught in the middle of all that.
"Georgie, wait!"
It was Nellie that stopped at the sound of her mother's name, bringing both Georgie and Adam to a halt as Georgie's heart raced.
"Why aren't you at work?" He asked as she turned to face him, gripping Nellie's hand nervously.
"I could ask you the same question, River," Georgie smiled awkwardly, aware that she wasn't only in the company of their daughter that he knew nothing about, but also his once best friend who he hadn't seen in six years, "Lamb was looking for you."
"I had to-" River cut himself off as he glanced between Georgie, Nellie and Adam, "It doesn't matter."
Georgie glanced across the street towards where River had appeared from, the barbers, Truefitt and Hill, the same name mentioned by Spider just the day before, "Please tell me you didn't go after Spider."
"I didn't go after Spider," River remarked, even though they both knew there was no truth in it.
"And yet I don't believe you," Georgie smirked, looking over her shoulder at Adam who seemed uncertain whether he should say anything to his former friend.
"Adam," River nodded, "It's good to see you."
"You too, all things considered," Adam replied, still unimpressed by how River had abandoned Georgie.
"Can we go now, Mummy, I'm bored," Nellie tugged on Georgie's hand, unaware of how her mother's heart began to race, not daring to make eye contact with River.
"Did she just say..." River's voice trailed off in what could only be described as a complex mixture of disbelief and confusion.
"Come on Nellie, let's go find that castle," Georgie glanced down at her daughter, her voice wavering.
"Hey," River knelt in front of Nellie as Georgie glanced at Adam, unsure of what to say or do, "How old are you, Nellie?"
"I'm five years and eight months old," Nellie answered innocently, blissfully unaware of the magnitude of her revelation.
Georgie's eyes glossed over as River slowly stood up, stepping in front of her as she failed to make eye contact with him, knowing in her gut that he must have made the connection.
"Georgie," River muttered, his eyes flitting from Georgie to the young blue eyed girl who stood beside her, "Georgie, look at me."
"Not now, River," Adam warned, more than aware of Nellie's presence.
"Then when? Hmm?" River quipped.
"Adam, can you watch Nellie for a bit," Georgie whispered, not wanting the little girl to become more caught up in it than she already was.
"Come on, Monkey, let's find that castle," Adam said as he scooped Nellie up as she waved a quick goodbye to Georgie.
Georgie and River watched as Adam carried Nellie down the street and around the corner towards St James' Palace. Georgie didn't know where to begin, it wasn't how she'd imagined everything happening, she had intended on telling him eventually, so maybe it was the universe punishing her for not doing it sooner.
"It's been six years and four months since what was meant to be our wedding day," River told her as her hands trembled, unable to read what he made of the situation, she could tell that his emotions were turbulent, she just wasn't sure which way he'd go, "Which means you would've been a month pregnant on that day, so when did you find out about our baby?"
Georgie exhaled slowly as she looked up at River, unsure of how to navigate such a delicate situation that she had played out dozens of times in her head.
"It was the morning of our wedding," Georgie whispered, "I was going to tell you that evening, when it was just us, but-"
"So you're blaming me?" River frowned, clearly taken aback by the notion.
"You broke my heart, River," Georgie replied, keeping her eyes on the pavement, "And if I had told you then maybe you would've come back, but it wouldn't have been because you wanted to, it would've been because you felt obligated to be the father that you never had."
"You don't even know why I left," River sighed heavily.
"You haven't told me," Georgie quipped in frustration.
"You haven't let me!" River reminded her, and as much as she hated to admit it, Georgie knew that it was the truth, "I have tried to tell you, Georgie, but you keep shutting me out so this is where we are."
"I was waiting for the right time to tell you about Nellie," Georgie whispered, daring to look up at him, his gaze remaining somber while his jaw was clenched, "I never wanted it to be like this."
"Who else knows?" River muttered, "Adam and your brother, obviously...anyone at work?"
"Sid was there when I took the test, she's known all along," Georgie told him, "Lamb found out today."
"Fuck," River pulled at his messy hair, "I can't do this right now."
"What do you mean?" Georgie frowned.
"I need to get back to work, I need to not think about..." His voice trailed off as he let his eyes linger on her, the painful realisation that they had both broken each other's hearts, they'd both misjudged each other's character, "I'll see you at work."
She watched him walk away without another word, unsure of what else there was that she could do or say. She had turned his world on its head in a matter of seconds, just as he had done six years prior, perhaps that made them even.
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