(featuring some lit newtmas fanart made for this book made by @graywritesstuff)

March 19th 1998

9:35 pm

     Thomas was sweating as he sat at the bar. Newt hadn't noticed him yet, that may have been attributed to the fact that he kept his head down purposely so Newt wouldn't see him, but hey who was keeping track.

     Kis and El were sitting in the back at a table in the dimly lit corner. El borrowed some of Kis' clothes so they were both in all black. It was such a shitty disguise but at least the baseball caps they were wearing provided some sort of cover up, besides the fact that Kis' said "fuck" across it in white lettering.

     Thomas bounced his leg under the bar. Newt wasn't really doing anything. He was just sitting at the other end of the bar, staring down and definitely pretending to listen to Minho.

     Thomas was about to chicken out and leave, his heart was racing and his hands were shaking. Of course then Alby walked back out from the back and went straight to talk to Newt. Thomas gripped his glass tighter, feeling the rage instantly go through his body. In reality, how would Alby have known that Thomas and Newt kinda were kinda used to be a thing? It wasn't his fault, but Thomas' jealousy of Alby was irrational at this point.

     He watched the dark boy lean over the bar and smile at Newt, gently caressing his hand. Newt looked bored, no Newt looked sad. The smile he gave was definitely fake and Thomas didn't miss the way he slightly recoiled away from the bartender. Teresa was there too, she was sitting a few seats down from them talking to a sandy haired boy. Thomas resisted the urge to roll his eyes, it wasn't his fault that he hated her so much.

     As soon as Thomas' eyes skipped back to Newt Alby leaned over and pressed his lips to the blond boy's cheek and no way in fucking hell was that going to fly.

     Thomas stood up so quickly the chair he was sitting on flew backwards and clattered to the floor, the empty glass he was nursing hit the bartop. Thomas couldn't think straight, he climbed up onto the bar, his worn soled converse slipping slightly as he tried to climb atop the glossy hardwood.

     "Tommy?! The fuck are you doing?!"

     Thomas took a breath as he fully stood up on the bar. He wiped his sweaty hands on his hoodie and looked at Newt. Now he looked a crossbreed between pissed and curious.

     "Newt," Thomas said. Everyone was staring at him, he had no idea what he was doing. Newt made him fucking crazy. "I love you."

     Minho had his hand clamped over his mouth, either trying to hide his secondhand embarrassment or laughing, Thomas couldn't tell and he also didn't care.

     "I fucking love you," Thomas said louder, throwing his hands up. "I love you and you love me, well you might not yet but you will, you do. Ever since the first day I got to this fucking school, it's been you and me. You're the only person who could stop me from accidentally setting my room on fire in my sleep, I'm the only person who made you feel actually safe. I can't even begin to fathom what you went through, I still don't, five years from now. What I do know is that we both don't have parents. I know what mine have done, I know what they did to you and I know what they did to me but parents don't throw their children out on the streets to fend for themselves. I hate my parents just as much as you do Newt and you have to understand that I'm not them. I'm not my mom, I'm not my dad, I'm me, I'm, or I will be, your fucking boyfriend and I love you. I love you so much Newt, so please just let me help you, so we can be happy now and then! I want nothing more than to make you happy." Thomas took a big shaky breath. He risked a glance over at Kis and El. El looked like she was crying and Kis was shaking her head like a disappointed mom at a parent teacher conference.

     "Hate me all you want Newt but I didn't do this to you, the people who happened to give birth to me did. You can blame me for it if you want, but I'm. Not. My. Parents."

     With that Thomas slowly climbed down.

     El started clapping, only to be quickly quieted by her best friend.

     He saw Newt walking towards him, slowly.

     "The fuck are you doing?" He breathed out as he crossed his arms and looked at Thomas.

     "Making a grand gesture to make you stop hating me."

     Newt rolled his eyes. "You're a fucking moron."

     Thomas gave him a half smile. "But you love me anyways?"

     "I know you're not your parents," Newt said softly.

    "Yeah?"

     "I shouldn't have told you to die."

     Thomas shrugged. "You were right to be mad."

     Newt shook his head. "I know I'm a hot head, if you would have told me sooner I probably would have tried to kill you or something."

     "I promise I'm trying to help you," Thomas said as he watched Newt's hands slowly tug at the hem of his sweater, almost as if he was smoothening it out.

     "You look good in this," he said as he smiled softly at him.

     Fuck.

    "Yeah El said..."

     "Traiter," Newt spat.

     Thomas looked back at them.

     "Wait are you kidding me?" Newt snorted out a laugh. "They're actually here?"

     Thomas gave him a sheepish smile. "I needed moral support. Plus they picked out my outfit and helped me..."

     "So they told you getting on the bar and preaching your undying love while looking hot was a good idea?"

     Thomas felt his cheeks heat up. "Well no that was kinda my own spontaneous plan fueled by jealousy."

     "Jealousy?"

     Thomas motioned to Alby.

     Newt laughed again. "You are so stupid." He rested his hands on his chest, seemingly satisfied with the now lack of wrinkles in the sweater. "Yet so cute."

     Thomas couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face even if he tried. "It's a curse."

     "Hey," a voice suddenly said from behind him. Thomas turned around to see none other than Alby.

     "What?"

     "You can't stand on my bar."

     "I'm sorr-"

     "Alby," Newt said, glaring at him. "Don't."

     "No! You can't just fuckin stand on my bar, it's a table not a-"

     Thomas didn't hear the rest of what he was saying because Newt grabbed the front of his sweater and pulled him against him, kissing him hard enough to make his head spin.

     Thankfully, Thomas' body took over. He held Newt's hips, gently squeezing before giving into his every want and straight up picking the boy up. Newt locked his legs around his waist, tangling his fingers in Thomas' hair.

    We're making out in front of Alby, we're making out in front of Alby. Fuck yEAH we're making out in front of Alby.

     Thomas smiled into the kiss, hooking his hands under Newt's thighs. His brain sparked this crazy idea which his body thought was a good idea so he took Newt a couple blind steps back until they were falling onto the pool table. Newt somehow got on top of him and smirked down at him.

     "What? You really think I'd let you throw me around like your toy?" Newt lightly nipped his lower lip. "You must really not know me then."

     Thomas' brain was short circuiting. Newt was kissing the air out of his lungs again, cupping his face in his hands and wiggling in an absolutely torturous way. Thomas slid his hands up the back of Newt's shirt, letting his fingertips glide up and down the smooth skin on his back. He could faintly hear Minho chanting a chorus of "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew" from somewhere to the side of them.

     Thomas was high off of Newt's touch, they were kissing and kissing and kissing and wet...wait wet? Why was he wet?

    He pulled back from Newt, only to flinch as water fell in his eyes.

     "Hey, I was using that." Newt frowned as he tapped Thomas' mouth.

    "No, Newt, the sprinklers are going off."

     "What?" The blonde boy craned his neck to look at the ceiling, sputtering out a laugh when he did. The sprinklers were indeed going off.

     "Bloody hell," Newt laughed again as he turned back to Thomas. He was happy and smiling and Thomas wanted to take a picture and treasure it forever.

     "Good thing you look sexy when you're wet." Thomas grinned as he kept running his hands up and down Newt's sides.

     "Good thing you're cute because you're bloody terrible at flirting."

     "Good thing I don't have to flirt." Thomas smiled as he pulled Newt back down to him. "Because you already like me."

     "Wrong," Newt said against his lips. "I love you."

10:30 pm

     "I can't believe you got us banned!" Teresa snapped again as she stuffed some french fries in her mouth.

     Newt rolled his eyes. "Please, it was a shitty place anyways. I only went there because Alby let me drink for free."

     Thomas' grasp tightened on his waist, making Newt snort out a laugh.

     "Settle down there Tommy."

     Newt was still soaking wet, his hair clumping together and hanging in his eyes. They retreated to the McDonalds after Alby threw them out for an obscene public display of affection. He totally turned on the sprinklers, he said it was smoke from a grill in the back but everyone knew it was him.

     Newt was shivering and shaking like a leaf so Thomas pulled him onto his lap and held him. It probably didn't do much to warm him up due to Thomas being soaking wet also, but Newt was on his lap so that's really all that mattered.

     "Yeah, you couldn't have chosen to do your big gay show somewhere that didn't give us free booze?" Minho asked as he stuffed his face with nuggets.

     Newt rolled his eyes but ran his finger down Thomas' cheek and winked at Minho. "We can do it again if you'd like."

     "Gross." Teresa rolled her eyes.

     "Hold on a second, that was kinda hot."

     Newt laughed at that and pressed his body tighter into Thomas'. It was good, it was so good, he was happy, Newt was happy, the group was happy.

     Thomas pressed a soft kiss to Newt's cheek before smiling at him and bumping their noses together.

     Kis was passed out asleep on El's shoulder, her "fuck" hat pulled over her eyes.

     "Thomas!"

     Thomas looked up, smiling when he did. It was the worker from the first day. "Hey Cara."

     She looked at Newt who was curled on his lap.

     "And this is the ex you seemingly successfully won back?"

     Thomas nodded as he kissed Newt's forehead. "Yeah, this is Newt."

     Newt gave her a half wave.

     "She let me rant about Newt the first day I got here," Thomas explained.

     "You rant about me to everyone," Newt grumbled as he let his head drop back onto Thomas' shoulder.

     "Everything worked out I see," she said, a smirk on her face.

     Thomas nodded. "Yea, we're good."

     Cara looked Newt over before nodding her head. "You were right, he is cute."

     Newt groaned loudly as he covered his face with his hands. "Stop bragging about me to everyone."

     "Why? Then they know we're together, I know how terribly possessive you are."

     Minho fake coughed. "Yeah says the hickies the size of Texas."

     "Shut up!" Newt snapped at him before pushing his face into Thomas' neck as if that would keep him safe from the insults.

     "You guys need anything else?" Cara asked as she smiled at the two boys. It was obvious even to someone who barely knew them that they were made for each other.

    "I think we're good," El said softly so she wouldn't wake her sleeping friend. "Thank you tho."

     "I'll see you around Thomas," Cara said, mock saluting him before she left.

     "I wanna kiss you some more," Newt whispered as he kissed Thomas' jaw.

     "Not here," Thomas said as he made eye contact with Teresa who looked beyond agitated.

     Newt pouted. "You're no fun."

     "And you're never not horny."

     Newt scowled at him. "I'm a teenage boy with an overly active sex drive and an unfairly sexy boyfriend who keeps touching me. Sue me."

     "We need to take a warm shower or something when we get back, it's cold and we're soaked."

     "Shower with me?"

     Thomas scoffed lightly. "You're impossible."

     Newt frowned as he looked up at him. "I didn't mean to do stuff." Thomas didn't miss how Newt's cheeks flushed red. "Just wanna be with you."

     Thomas couldn't help himself, he pressed his lips to Newt's in a short peck, then did it again, and again, and again...

     "Porn!" Minho screamed as he pelted them with a chicken nugget. "I'm too innocent for this!"

     Newt rolled his eyes. "Please Minho, like you don't have eight playboy magazines stashed under your bed."

     Minho winked at him. "It's called the spank bank baby."

     "I just threw up."

     "Can we go home?"

     "Yeah."

1:15 am

     Newt clung to him like shrink wrap that night. They kissed for a while, it was slow and meaningful.

     "I'm sorry," Newt said softly as he traced patterns on Thomas' chest with his fingertips.

     "What for?"

     "Overreacting."

     Thomas just huffed and pulled him closer.

     "Can I ask you something?"

     "Sure."

     Newt looked up at him. "In the future. What exactly happened?"

     Thomas let out a breath. "After you killed my dad, my mom started implanting things in my head, making me see visions of my younger self. She lured me to WICKED where me and El got held captive. You and Minho and Kis launched a rescue mission. You made it to WICKED and at that time they installed mind control chips into me and El's brain. They erased my memories, I didn't know who you were. My mom found out you were there, we tried to escape but she used the chips and...well she made me and El kill all of you. I held you when you died, it was my fault."

     "That's not your fault," Newt said softly.

     "It was."

     Newt shook his head before saying softly, "I'm scared of dying Tommy."

     "I'm here to make sure that you don't."

     "You did this all for me?" Newt asked.

     "Yeah. I'm here because I can't stand to live without you."

     Newt was quiet then, his fingertips still trailed along Thomas' chest.

     "You know you let me in your room in the future?"

     "Really?"

     Thomas nodded. "We kissed for the first time in there."

     "It's so weird to think about."

     "What?"

     "You really belong with the other Newt, but he's me so you belong to me but I feel like I'm taking you away from myself. Does that make sense?"

     "Newt," Thomas said. "I love you no matter what time period we're in."

     Newt huffed out a soft laugh. "Did I dream you up or something?"

     "I could ask the same about you."

     "So if I don't kill your dad, everything should work out in the end?"

     "Yeah."

     "I won't."

     "What?"

     "I won't kill him. I won't kill him so future Newt gets to be as happy as I am with you now."

     It was music to Thomas' ears.

     "Really?"

     "Yeah. I don't even know how I managed to do that, but when the time comes I promise that I won't touch him."

     Thomas kissed him blindly in the dark, trying to convey with his mouth what he couldn't put into words.

     "I love you," he mumbled against his lips. "I love you I love you I love you."

     Newt smiled into the kiss, humming as Thomas started trailing his fingertips up and down his spine.

     "Speaking of love," Thomas said. "You know Kis and El are-"

     "Painfully gay for each other, yes. It's hard to watch, they can't just admit their feelings to each other."

     "They're cute."

     "But stupid."

     "Funny, you say the same thing about me."

     "Haha you're hilarious."

     "We need to help them get together, so they can be happy in the future."

     "Really? Five years doesn't smarten them up?"

     "Nope."

     "Bloody hell." Newt paused. "Can you tell me more about us, like five years from now?"

     Thomas smiled. "Sure...Minho picks on us all the time, you weren't my first kiss but you were my first time. We share a room, I don't think I've slept by myself since...well since you know."

     Newt laughed lightly, steering clear of talking about his death. "We seem like one of those gross couples that everyone secretly throws up when they see."

     "Oh yeah," Thomas matched his laughter. "We definitely are, but it's okay."

     Newt looked up at him. "I'm sorry your parents didn't love you Tommy."

     Thomas shrugged. "It's okay." It's okay because you love me.

     Newt shook his head. "It's not. You of all people deserve to be cared about. You're too good...having a family is like, I don't know maybe I'm just nostalgic but like it's nice, to know that you have people that will love you no matter what you do. I mean hell they knew what I was and they still cared for me unconditionally."

     Thomas looked down at the blonde boy on his chest, his warm brown eyes and his messy hair. He felt his heart swell. He thought about Minho and Kis and El. He thought about them playing truth or dare and eating chicken nuggets until they felt sick. He thought about how they would steal the car and drive listening to too loud music while Newt would pull him down and make out with him in the backseat while everyone pretended that they didn't notice.

     "I do," he said softly. "I know what it's like to have a family."