i remember when the city was tinged orange
it shone like the sun
even at night it felt bright
as if
someone had dipped it in euphoria
and then sprinkled laughter on top
coating it in a layer of orange

when i see the city now
it is grey
not that i painted it that way
no,
it was you
as you tossed your dismal color
all over my world that day

you left a gray mess
for me to clean
a gray mess
over which
i now have to paint

while i work i try not to think about
when it was orange
instead i try to imagine it
with new colors

at first i can barely lift my brush
it feels
so heavy
as if it weighs
a thousand pounds

i am struggling
to imagine my world in a new color
you had soaked my world in orange
and then suddenly thrust it into gray
i watched you turn your world
into a new color
you turned it yellow

i guess that's why
you made mine change

i dip my brush into blue
a familiar color
that doesn't hurt as much as it used to
i would much rather
be immersed in painful familiarity
than covered in a color
that was deemed as worthless
left in a forgotten can of paint

these places you tainted
i now have to paint over
a job that
requires i revisit old colors
reminders
of a time when
i thought orange was
the prettiest color

orange is still
a pretty color
but
now all i think of when i see it is that
it's not yellow
and that's why
you made orange paint
gray for me
instead