So I have a pretty complicated family that kinda holds a lot of resentment in certain people towards others for different reasons. It's mostly from divorce.

This brings me to my first part of WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN?!? (Most of this is going to be about my Mother so be warned.) 

So for Christmas season, things get a little hectic for me since there are like 5 different relative houses to visit if I was to go to them all plus parties and neighbourly get-togethers. This year, since my Father is going to be away and I can now drive, my Dad told me to choose what I want to do and not just let myself be pushed around so I just blindly see everyone I can that year. So I chose that I wanted to go see my dad's father's family on their annual boxing day party with the promise of seeing my dad's mom later when my Dad and Stepmom are back.

Note: It's easier to see my dad's side since his family actually lives in the province unlike my mom's side

So this past Sunday I was at my mom's Christmas dinner for her work (where they invited this asshole who made the whole night terrible since he just bullied e with my mom's fiancee) and the topic of holiday plans came up. I told my mom of my plans to go visit my admittedly larger side of my pentagon of a family (like a 1:10 ratio to the other sides). I don't see them as often as I used to for three reasons: 1)  I'm older and have more stuff to do, 2) My dad and Stepmom decided we don't need to visit them EVERY weekend they have me, 3) all my aunts and uncles there are getting married and have at least 1 kid (minus my one uncle who is just engaged I think). 

This is where the night started getting bad (FYI was still in the car on the way there at this point). So my mom has a problem with that large part of the family since she claims they're all drug and alcohol addicts and has a huge grudge against them. I've never seen anything that suggests they do other than the fact that they do drink but A) they're family so it's a safe place to drink and B) if they want to get hammered they wait until all the kids are definitely asleep and have a couple people aware enough to keep anything from happening or if one of my cousins have a nightmare/ wake up for any reason. Keeping in mind the large get-togethers happen only every so often. I don't think they even get drunk or close to it anymore since the majority of my aunts and uncles have young children (me being the oldest on that side). Back to my mom's ranting, she talks about it probably being unsafe since they let me underage drink (which is like one dry cider for the whole night and I'm not allowed to finish unless it's been an hour, I've never been drunk) she then goes off on her views of them being druggies and whatnot which gets me really mad since she is the only person in my family that continuously badmouths my other family member's, even my dad makes a point not to. I, naturally, defend them since I A) already told them I was going to show up and spend the night (and maybe two if I can get there early) and B) she has no right talk shit about them like she and her family are better and try and prevent me from going. 

The conversation continued until we got to the dinner (yes that was the whole 10-minute car ride) and I said I was done talking about it for the night so we can actually enjoy the night. My mom didn't like that idea. Now somewhere in the car ride the talk of how I'm going to get there since they live about an hour-ish away by car and I told her I still had to talk to her about me needing the car to get there (again the drinking thing came up since I'm not allowed to have any alcohol in my blood when I drive and I said that's why I was spending the night), she took my 'tone' the wrong way and said I was giving her attitude.

I should probably point out here how my mother gets when aggravated. She has the unknown tendency to become as moody and demanding as a teenager at these things and doesn't notice it (like she doesn't even recognize it herself. I only know because I'm the only other person than my father that has fought with her so much). i.e. when I tell her I need a walk to cool it before I lose my shit she thinks I'm running away and gets angrier (I have run before when I do lose my shit though, cuz I like to have some sort of regular interaction after, or if her fiancee intervenes). So arguments almost always end up fights and someone usually has to be sobbing on the floor for her to stop (but not if it's me since that makes her angrier if she's not satisfied. Emotionally abusive I know). 

Back to the conversation, BS (my mom's boyfriend) suggested to drop me off at my mom's exhusband's Father's house that will be filled with a huge number of people that she hates (because they 'abandoned her' during the giant ugly divorce 11 FUCKING YEARS AGO that they decided to support on my Father's side since they're his step and blood siblings). I said it was a bad idea for obvious reasons and she said it would be their problem and that she could act adult. I said no again because the last time that was said I was 9ish and there was a yelling match between my parent' on the front porch, multiple times until my dad had to park on the other side of the street or a house or too over to drop and pick me up. I'm not risking that on the holidays.

Blah blah blah I tell her to drop it for now and go ahead to find out which table I'll be forced to sit with her at for the night and unluckily ending up with a mom and her son as our only other company that serves as no real conduit to redirect the conversation. The rest of the car makes it to our table and we sit down as the only people so far so my mom tries to continue the conversation to which I try to redirect by giving myself 5 walks around the hall before food since she kept persisting. She finally mostly dropped it when I told her we weren't talking about it later either in private because the last time we had any conversation about that part of my family (read: 2 hours of her yelling at sobbing me about how terrible they are until I snapped) I ended up getting thrown by BS. 

Side note: That did happen and I had to spend the night at my dad's a complete wreck. Never reported due to to the fact that 'he's done it to his own kids' and that makes it okay. (I'm saving the fact that I can send him to jail for another day)

The rest of that shit filled night was me being teased and put down by my mom, BS and the dickwad they invited (so glad he's leaving the province in less than a week so I don't have to intentionally deal with him again). I also almost flipped the table as my mom told me that all my friend were bad influences and that she'd rather me go hang with my robot obsessed ex-boyfriend from grade 9 and half of grade 10 (three years ago!).

If you read all that unedited rant, congratulations! You now have knowledge of the night that ruined my favourite Christmas dinner/party thing (sadly that not being all of it). 

Can someone also tell me if I'm being unreasonable? Like I know I can get overdramatic when worked up but the fact that, that night my mom made me feel like she'd rather have dickwad as her kid than me and getting me to admit to her that she makes me feel like I'm an inadequate human being.

Also if you know me outside this I would like this to be kept personal and only to this site (aka don't tell other's that I have this rant book here).