My mums asleep understandable its midnight. The issue is I've not eaten since yesterday midnight, I'm fucking hungry, but I cant cook anything.

Sure I've had a dr pepper and a milkshake today, but that's still nothing. I hate this.

I hate this I hate this.

I wish i could eat, i wish i could cook, but i cant, my brain wont let me

Yet part of.me thinks this is good. That's the worst part. Part of me is happy for this. I'm a fat pile of shit, I deserve this, to not eat. The hunger is good, I'll be thinner if I dont eat. I hate that

I hate this all.

If you read this, thank you. I'll be fine, I've been living this since I was six lol.

Damn that's a decade.

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DAY AFTER UPDATE:

everything is better now it's two days later and we went shopping and I've had half a meal in that time. It's better. I'm going to have a banana or something later.