I want to preface this by saying that you are an amazing girl who deserves all the love in the world. I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you.

You said something a few weeks ago, back when we had our first real fight, that stuck with me. "You don't date to get married, you date to break up." You were right. I never thought this relationship would get as serious as it did. What I thought you wanted from me was a casual fling that would be over in a couple months. A hookup. It's what everyone else wants from me, so I had no reason to believe that you would be any different.

If I had known that you were in this for the long run, I never would've asked you out. I never would've played with your head like that. I guess you could say that past experience has made me cynical. Everyone I've been with has only wanted me for one thing, and as a result, that one thing is the only thing I look for anymore. I never thought you would actually like me. I thought that what you felt for me was a superficial crush, and that you would move on once you either got bored of me, or got what you wanted.

Obviously that's not what happened. You actually gained feelings for me. When you said those words, "I love you", you actually meant it. Once I realized this, I didn't know what to do. When we first started dating, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't fall for you because I didn't want to get hurt again. Like I said, I thought you only wanted to use me and move on, so that's what I was prepared for. When I realized that I was wrong, I tried to open up, I really did. I guess it was too late by that point.

I'm not saying that I never felt anything for you. I did. I just didn't feel it as strongly as I was supposed to.

I guess the bottom line is, I'm simply not long term relationship material. People date me because they want an experience. They want to explore their sexuality, they want a rebound, they want practice. They don't want a life partner. I can give you a one night stand. I can teach you how to kiss. Loving you? I can't do that. A few years ago, maybe I could have. But I don't think I'm capable of that anymore.

What I'm trying to say is, this breakup isn't your fault. It's mine. I'm sorry that I can't give you what you need. I never wanted to hurt you.