Tony and Loki were inside Stark tower with Tony 'threatening' Loki. Tony was also putting some bracelets on his hands. "Let's do a head count here. You're brother the Demi god, a super soldier - the living legend who really lives up to the legend part, a man with breathtaking anger management issues, a couple of master assassins and the extremely crude yet badass mercenary with his alien enhancement." Tony then points at Loki after taking a sip of his expensive whiskey "And you have managed to piss off every single one of them"

Loki grins still walking around like he rules the planet already "That was the plan"

Tony steps out from around the "Not a great plan, and when they come they're gonna come for you"

Loki still feeling overconfident despite Tony's threats, grins at Tony with a subtle head tilt "I have an army"

"We have a Hulk" Tony immediately fires back "And we also have a guy with an extraordinary ability to get under your skin."

Loki huffs a little at the thought "Well last I saw the beast and mercenary were fighting each other. Where are they now?" He asks with his arms out wide in an already victorious manner.

Tony smirks and finishes off his whiskey gulping down the liquid "Don't worry they'll be here and when they arrive........... You'll end up in whole lotta pain." He warns the trickster.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Y/N woke up in a pile of rubble groaning and straining as he got to his feet with several bits of debris shifting further down as he moved as he stood up straight, he took off his mask and started laughing "Fuck was that fun!"

"I know right, by the way you might wanna check on Bruce." At this point he looked over his shoulder to see a still unconscious Bruce who had finally returned to his normal state but was completely naked.

"Ha, I'd never have thought Bruce was packing. Must be an adrenaline boner." He jokes to Venom pointing to Bruce's crotch.

"Yeah who'd have thought the little guy had a big guy" Venom said in between laughs as Y/N walked over to try and wake Bruce up.

He kneeled on the right side of Bruce's face and then slapped him "WAKE UP" but there was no response.

Venom came out of Y/N's shoulder with an idea "Just keep slapping him until he wakes up." The symbiote suggested to the all to eager Y/N. Venom grew an arm out of Y/N's side so he could slap one side of Bruce's face and Y/N could slap the other.

SLAP "Rise and shine, Brucie!"

SLAP "That's for tackling us off a jet!"

SLAP "That's for having unrippable shorts!"

SLAP "That's for having a hot girlfriend!"

SLAP "That's for having the same name as the fat kid from Matilda!"

SLAP "That's for being an awesome green rage monster!"

SLAP "That's because Marvel couldn't hire the old guy back!"

SLAP "That's for no reason other than me being bonded to Y/N for years"

SLAP "That's for all the female readers, twenty percent at the time of writing. Call me!"

SLAP "Why. Won't. You. Wake. Up!?"

SLAP "That's just so we can increase the word count in the book about yours truly!"

Bruce finally started groaning as he began to wake up, Y/N got to his feet "About time I didn't want to use all my quips in one sitting"

Venom nodded along "I don't know how you have so much material"

"Y/N?" Bruce weakly said as he was trying to block the sun out of his eyes.

"Yeah it's me oh and Venom" he pointed to over his shoulder where Venom was slightly freaking the scientist out.

"Hello Bruce" Venom said with a smile however due to his sharp teeth it seemed rather creepy.

Bruce awkwardly waved once "Uhh hello, Venom was it?" He asked nervously still in a small state of shock.

"Yes, well I'm going back inside Y/N now because A - this conversation is awkward and B - you're completely fucking naked." Bruce immediately had a look of horror on his face, covering himself up with his hands "Toodles!" Venom did a full finger wave before re-entering Y/N's body.

"Please could you find me some clothes?" Bruce kindly asked

"Oh yeah sure." Y/N then walked around the warehouse looking for some clothes for Bruce, he searched for a short while and came across a locker room which not only had clothes but they were all Bruce's size and Y/N sighed "That's convenient"

He returned the clothes to Bruce who promptly got changed "Thanks for that" Bruce said as he looked around at the damage of the warehouse "Someone's not gonna be happy we destroyed their warehouse" Bruce stated and Y/N couldn't help but agree however they were quickly brought out of their thoughts by several loud explosions.

The pair ran out of the warehouse and looked outside to see across the water was Manhattan with a massive portal above Stark Tower and a bunch of things coming out of it. Y/N and Bruce looked at each other "The Chitauri" the said simultaneously. Y/N laughed "JINX!" however was met by an unimpressed glare from Bruce.

"I guess we know where we have to go" Bruce stated a hint of worry across his face knowing that he would have to turn into the Hulk once again.

Y/N and Venom on the other hand were excited " Too right, fighting an alien army. I was born for this shit."

"How are we going to get over there?" Bruce said and Y/N held his hand to stop the doctor with a smirk engraved deep on his features.

"Leave that to me, Green Day" Y/N walked over to the river and gestured for Bruce to follow. "Get on my back" He said to Banner who knew better than to question Y/N's usual madness, Bruce obliged and hopped onto Y/ N's back "Now hold on very tight......... Oh and I hope you like a swim"

Before Bruce even had time to question, Y/N dived straight into the water below with a worried Bruce hanging on for dear life as Venompool sped across the Hudson River.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Anyone got eyes on L/N and Banner yet?" Tony asked as he was being chased by Chitauri soldiers, he had flipped around and blasted a few of them with his repulsor rays. He then saw a Chitauri Leviathan and decided to get it's attention before it could cause any major destruction.

"Negative, they're still not here" Cap reported as he swatted away a Chitauri soldier with his shield before kneeling down to avoid getting hit by another before punching it square in the face creating a huge dent in it's head.

Clint was trying to open the bus doors which he successfully did allowing the trapped citizens to try and get themselves to safety. Clint then started firing his various different arrows at the army once more.

Natasha was firing her pistols at several of the Chitauri in the distance managing to incapacitate many of them, the ones that got into close proximity she handled by fighting off with a Chitauri blast staff.

Steve, Natasha and Clint regrouped in the middle of the road with a small legion of enemy soldiers heading in their direction. Just as they got ready to fight, huge bolts of lightning came down upon the Chitauri causing them to malfunction and fall to the ground.

Thor who had summoned the lightning dropped down from above and joined the three on the ground. Cap approached the long haired blonde man and asked "What's the story upstairs?"

The God replied with a somewhat regretful tone "The power surrounding the cube is impenetrable."

Tony butted in on the Comms "Thor's right, we've got take of these guys"

Natasha reloaded her pistol panting a little and asked "How are we gonna do this?"

Cap looked around at the army and the destruction they were causing "As a team" he replied confidently.

"I have unfinished business with Loki" Thor stated as he gripped Mjolnir tightly.

Clint who was preparing the arrows in his quiver "Yeah we'll get in line"

Steve started walking with the other three trailing behind yet listening intently to the Captain "Save it, Loki's gonna keep the fight focused on us and that's just what we need. Without him these things could run wild-"

He was interrupted by someone yelling "HEY YOU GUUUUYS!" The four all looked to see Y/N swinging in with Bruce on his back as they landed in front of them.

Bruce hastily got off of his back "God that was awful" he then looked around at the city, it was covered in thin cloud of grey smoke which was mix of several different types of debris "But not as awful as this"

Y/N scoffed "What are you talking about, this looks like a strong portion of my fantasies" which was met with a small shake if the head from Bruce.

"Nice of you boys to join us" Natasha said

"Couldn't let you guys have all the fun" Y/N joked as he and Bruce approached the rest, Y/N noticed Barton's presence and exclaimed "Hunger games! Nice to see your no longer on the Dark Side" Y/N held out a fist to Clint who was reluctant to return it given what happened the last time they met.

Thor then said to Clint "You hit Y/N's fist with your own Sir Barton but not too hard"

"I know how to fist bump genius" Clint then fist bumped Y/N not necessarily because he wanted to but more to prove a point.

Cap contacted Tony on the Comms "Stark they're here"

Tony figured he meant L/N and Banner "Excellent, tell them to get ready because I'm bringing the party to you guys."

Tony then sharply turned around a corner onto the street the rest of the team were on with a Leviathan hot on his heels taking off part of a building as he brought the worm like creature up the street.

Thor grunted slightly as Natasha held a confused expression on her face "I-I-I don't see how that's a party"

Bruce saw this then walked towards it as the Leviathan got closer and closer "Doctor Banner" Cap said as Bruce turned towards him "Now would be a really good time for you to get angry"

Bruce chuckled as sweat ran down his face "That's my secret Cap......... I'm always angry"

Y/N ran up besides Bruce "How about a little back up?" Y/N asked him

"It would be appreciated" Bruce said with a genuine smile towards his friend.

"Maximum Effort" Venom said which made Y/N very cheery inside.

Y/N and Bruce simultaneously transformed into Venom and Hulk respectively with Venom's left fist and Hulk's right fist connecting with the front of the Leviathan causing it flip over.

Iron Man who had flown past the others "Hang tight" as he fired a missile into the back of the Leviathan breaking it up into several pieces. Thor and Clint took cover behind cars, Steve protected himself and Natasha with his shield,

Y/N smiled as he questioned Venom "How are you doing with the noise?"

"Fine but I prefer it when we work together"

Venom then switched back into the Black and white suited Y/N "As do I"

The team got into a circle, Hulk roared loudly, Clint readied himself by pulling an arrow from his quiver and placing it in his bow, Thor gripped his hammer tightly, Natasha reloaded her pistol, Tony levitated above the ground with his thrusters, Steve put his shield over his arm and finally Y/N grabbed his Katanas with Venom's tendrils coming out of Y/N's sides forming large blades. Y/N then yelled at the top of his lungs "WELCOME TO PLANET EARTH MOTHERFUCKERS!"

They all looked in a similar direction as Y/N turned back to the rest "That circle would've made a great cinematic shot if there were cameras around."

"You're still as strange as I remember" Clint said as he fired an arrow at a soldier on a building from fifty feet away.

"Yeah and that ain't gonna change. By the way anyone got a comm?" Y/N asked and Natasha made a little 'oohh' noise and chucked him a comm which she had in her pocket.

Y/N took his mask off and put the small comm in his ear "Thank you Beautiful." Y/N pulled his mask down and then started walking off to go and clean out the cat house.

Cap then stopped him by putting an arm on his shoulder "L/N we need a plan"

Y/N shook himself free and then said to everyone "Alright you guys come up with a plan" he held his arms out to the other six "Whilst I go and breastfeed on the sweet tits of Mother Violence." Y/N then extended a tendril and swung away with him and Venom literally tearing several Chitauri to pieces by slicing them with his Katanas whilst Venom cut through with his blades.

Tony then said to Steve "I think he knows what he's doing."

Everyone looked up to the portal to see an unfortunate sight of even more Chitauri soldiers and three more leviathans coming out descending on New York below.

Tony wanted Steve to come up with a plan and Steve was all to happy to oblige "Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we're gonna use containment. L/N is on a bit of a rampage so stay out of his way. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or your turn it to ash."

Hawkeye turned to Stark "Wanna give me a lift?"

Iron Man walked up to Clint "Right. Better clench up, Legolas."Iron Man grabbed Clint by the collar of his vest and lifts him up to the building.

Captain America then turns to the God of Thunder "Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow them down. You've got the lightning. Light the bastards up." Thor spins Mjolnir around and flies up to the top of a building.

Steve turns to Natasha "You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here." Finally he turns to an eager yet frustrated looking green beast "And Hulk............ SMASH."

The gamma monster gave a devilishly evil smile as he leaped and began going what he did best which was smashing the shit out of the Chitauri with explosions coming out of the sky.

Meanwhile Y/N jumped down from the side of a building and did a roll then slid on the road and sliced the legs off of two Chitauri soldiers before stomping on their heads, destroying them.

Y/N picked up one of their guns and started firing several shots at the Chitauri obliterating them as blue rays of energy came out of the weapon, Y/N gasped "Oh I'm so keeping one of these!"

"It's the least we should get since we're not getting paid."

Realisation hit Y/N like a bus "Holy shit you're right, I'm definitely keeping this gun."

Y/N saw Thor and Hulk on top of a leviathan and elected to join them, he created q tendril and jumped onto the Leviathan. He started ripping away at the creature's shell then throwing the large pieces at other Chitauri soldiers sending them plummeting to the street below. "How could you fellas not invite me!?" Y/N said sounding mortified as he shot the Chitauri soldiers with large holes being created as Y/N used their own technology against them.

"Used and abused bitches!"

Hulk just grunted as he picked up two soldiers and smsshed them together creating a horrible 'SQUISH' noise, Y/N then joked "That's the first that I've seen in this book something go squish"

Thor looked confused as he struck a soldier hard in the body "What book are you speaking of Y/N?"

"My book, don't worry Blondie it's an Earth thing." Y/N reassured before he drop kicked a Chitauri off of the Leviathan.

He stood next to Hulk as they looked at the last wave of Chitauri coming at them and said to him "Human Javelin....... Throw Me!" Hulk smiled and he really didn't need to be asked twice especially after their previous scrimmage.

Hulk somewhat aggressively grabbed Y/N with his big hands then launched him at the Chitauri, Y/N kept a pencil like position until he got close to the Chitauri when he pulled out his Katanas and extended his arms out wide. He made contact with the soldiers, decapitating several of them whilst the one he made contact with his skull flew straight off the Leviathan and forced in front of the worm like creature's massive head, killing it instantly "I prefer getting a different type of head but hey that's just me."

"No one needed to know that"

The trio worked together and disabled the Leviathan, it lost power and it crashed through the front of a bank. The trio jumped off of the dead beast and stood side by side with Hulk in the middle.

"I'm going to help Stark with the Chitauri on the edge of the city" Thor stated as he flew out the building, holding Mjolnir out in front of him.

Y/N tapped Hulk on the shoulder who turned to him "I just want to say I let you throw me so there's no hard feelings." Hulk grunted in response before jumping through the previously undamaged ceiling, Y/N shook his head "Who'd have thought Hulk cared so deeply about the construction employment sector."

"If you think about it, this is a win-win situation. We stop an invasion AND create a bunch of jobs for people."

Y/N let out a triumphant sigh "We're a blessing to this world."

The comm went off in his ear and Natasha's voice was on the other "Guys none of this is gonna mean a damn thing if we can't get that portal closed."

Y/N jumped through the hole that Hulk had made then perched on the roof of the building and looked up at the portal to see more Chitauri soldiers coming out and whilst he was preoccupied with admiring the portal, he was still killing several of the Chitauri who had come to attack him without even trying.

"If you wanna get up, you're gonna need a lift" Steve replied as he threw his shield at three soldiers knocking them all over.

Y/N had a lightbulb moment and replied over the Comms "That I can provide" he then created a tendril from his left arm and swung his way to Natasha, decapitating a couple of soldiers with his sword during the short journey.

He landed by Natasha when a small horde of about twenty soldiers made their way towards them, Natasha was ready to fire her pistols at them however Y/N jumped about twelve feet in the air and created two long blades from his arms then swiped all of the soldiers in half like they were nothing.

He clapped his hands and jogged his way back to Natasha "Alright then that was enjoyable"

Natasha rolled her eyes "Only you would be having fun during a time like this."

Y/N did a small thinking gesture "Hmm I don't know the thought of you being wrapped around my body just to take you up there." He pointed to the top of Stark tower "is much more enjoyable to me."

"Seriously Y/N, the fate of the world is at stake and you're choosing NOW to flirt with me!" She yelled holding a piercing glare at the black and white suited mercenary.

"There's always a good time to flirt" he said with a smug grin that Natasha couldn't see.

"Can you take me up there then!?" She asked clearly annoyed as she pointed up to Stark Tower.

"Oh Yeah, hop on" Y/N invited as Natasha climbed on his back and wrapped her legs around his front. "The exits are to the side and from behind!" Y/N loudly stated

Natasha growled "JUST GET ME UP THERE!" She ordered, Y/N was a little bit scared of Natasha in the moment started sprinting and when he got to Stark Tower he jumped and clung to the side of the large building.

"You good?" He asked as he quickly started scaling the building

"So far not dead" She loudly had to reply given all the commotion going on in that very moment.

It took him a few moments to get up to where the source of the portal creation was, she hopped off Y/N's back and they saw a horrified looking Erik Selvig trembling at what he had helped to create.

--------

"Director Fury, the council has made a decision" A councilwoman somewhat regretfully informed.

Fury was having none of it though "I recognise the Council has made but given its a stupid ass decision, I've elected to ignore it." He snarled at the Members on the screen.

A councilman tries to convince Fury to go along and accept their decision "Director, you're closer than any of our subs, you scramble that jet..."

Fury was getting more pissed off and was still having none of it "That is the island of Manhattan, Councilman. Until I'm certain my team can't hold it, I will not order a nuclear strike against a civilian population." He angrily shot back widening his eye.

The same councilman tries again to convince Fury "If we don't hold them in the air, we lose everything." He desperately pleads.

Fury was still adamant that the Council are making an awful decision "I send that bird out, we already have." Fury sadly says as he cuts off transmission from the council unwilling to put up with any more if their bullshit.

-----------
Meanwhile back in Manhattan, Dr Selvig had informed Natasha and Y/N that Loki's Sceptre might be able to shut down the portal. The pair looked over the edge to see Loki inside Stark Tower's top floor holding the Sceptre in his hand.

Y/N made the executive decision to jump down and get the Sceptre himself whilst Natasha dealt with some of the soldiers that were flying overhead.

Y/N went in to confront him and said in a pleasant tone "Hello sir, it appears you and your army have overstayed your welcome unfortunately the penalty for this offence is a very severe ass whopping provides by a Mr Uhhhhh Y/N Uhhh L/N, fuck that's a mouthful" Beneath his mask there is a look of mock realisation matched by his tone "Wait! That's me! I'm here to kick your ass!"

Loki turned to look at Y/N and smirked whilst tightly gripping his Sceptre "Ahh you're finally here to confront me"

"Uhh yeah, that's literally what I just said, but thanks for confirmation, I want to make sure my customers are getting what they want." Y/N said as he looked straight at Loki.

"There is no one that can stop me, not you, not your friends. This world will fall before me and all of you shall kneel before your king" Loki stated as he threw his arms out wide.

Y/N chuckled as Venom came out of his shoulder "That was quite short for a villain monologue don't you think?" Y/N questioned his symbiotic friend.

"Yeah, kind of boring as well" Venom looked at Loki "I thought an Asgardian would be using big fancy words that no one really knows what they mean. So disappointing" Both Y/N and Venom shook their heads sadly looking down at the floor with them both doing fake sniffling.

"You are the MOST irritating creature in ALL OF THE NINE REALMS!!!" Loki screamed at Venompool.

Venom goes back into Y/N's body as the black and white suit is on display "What can I say I'm the asshole of the team. I'm dirty, I'm deep and all the shit comes right out of me" Loki huffs in an 'obvious' tone in response before Y/N adds "Now I really need your sceptre" he points to the long spear.

Loki then flaunted it in front of Venompool "This! Well you wanted to beat me, please I invite you to try" Loki thinks to back to when they first encountered each other in Stuttgart "Don't think it'll be do easy this time" he softly said however the lack of volume made it more menacing somehow.

Y/N did a short whistle "Oooooohh you've really got a desire to walk over hot coals in hell"

Loki didn't respond with words but instead shot a beam of blue energy at Y/N who rolled out of the way destroying another part of the Tower "You're so lucky Tony's a billionaire" Y/N stated before Venompool then sprinted at Loki and drop kicked him straight in the chest sending the trickster off of his feet sliding across the floor about twenty feet away from Y/N.

Venompool got to his feet as did Loki at the same time, for a few seconds that had a mini Mexican Standoff "This town ain't big enough for the both of us" Y/N threatened in a strong Texan accent before he switched back to his usual accent "Let's go old school shall we" He says as he grabs his swords then doing a few fancy spins around his arms with them whilst Loki grips his Sceptre tighter, the pair get ready to duel before Y/N says "Author put on some epic music"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!" Y/N cheers as he slowly approaches Loki with both swords in his hand. A swordfight also seemed to fit Loki's needs as well.

Loki gripped his Sceptre with both hands as the two slowly approached each other. Loki was the first to strike as he sent his spectre in a downwards motion towards Y/N's left shoulder and neck however Y/N drew his swords in line with his face to block the attack "Ooooh someone's been taking their fencing lessons" Y/N teased before he kicks Loki in the midsection making him move three steps backwards, Y/N then teased "But how's your footwork?"

They both simultaneously step twice to the left before they attack each other with their melee weapons once more with them both able to block their attacks "You are no match for Loki, mercenary for I have class something which you lack desperately."

Y/N scoffs in response "You don't need class in a fight, you just need to win." Y/N bows slightly "I just add a bit Y/N L/N pizzazz to spice things up a little." he teases as he goes on the offence, spinning in a full circle with Loki managing to block the Y/N's sword that is closest to him but failing to block the second sword as the tip of the sharp blade cutting Loki's cheek causing a comparatively small three inch gash on his cheek "Ouch someone's just lost their shot at being on the runway anytime soon."

The trickster holds his Sceptre in one hand and his cheek is cupped over the wound, initially the cut seethes with pain before beginning to subside, he wipes his cheek and examines the red liquid on his fingertips and smirks angrily at the sword wielder "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY! Especially not some filthy Midguardian!" Loki yells with outrage.

"Hey this filthy Midguardian takes offence to that just put a plaster on it and stop being a pussy" Y/N says as he prepares himself to fight again.

The God of Mischief now sick of playing these pathetic games decides to pull out a trick from up of his sleeve and makes a dozen clones of himself with them all quickly and closely moving around so to confuse Y/N as they were all grinning evilly at him.

"Now this is......... Different" Venom says a little surprised the number of projections of the same person in front of him.

"Yeah this is some freaky type bullshit going on. Is it weird that I sort of want them to break out into a musical number?" He says as the dozen Loki's circle him walking in the exact same motion and pace with even the most intricate details being precisely identical.

"To a regular person yes, to you that's just a regular thing for you"

The Loki's then all summon small blades in their hands and close in on Y/N very suddenly as they start stabbing the shit out of him from all different directions eventually bringing Y/N to the floor continuing to slice and dice Y/N on the floor.

After two minutes or so of constant stabbing, the Loki's all retreat still maintaining a circular formation around Y/N only taking two steps backwards "Magnificent" they all exclaimed.

One of the Loki's stepped out and announced to the mutilated Y/N "I know you're not dead Mr L/N but you will serve better as my slave to battle against your planet's heroes" Loki took his Sceptre and placed it to Y/ N's chest like he had previously done with Barton, Selvig and all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents he had taken under his control.

However Y/N didn't submit as he had hoped so he tried again and pressed the sceptre to where Y/N's heart was but yet again it failed, he looked at the Sceptre "Huh, this usually works"

"Super duper healing factor son, stops my brain from being corrupted ." Y/N gleefully reveals as he recovers from his injuries.

Loki yells in anger as he goes to fire energy rays from his Sceptre at the downed Y/N yet something happens surprises Loki. Y/N disappears right before his eyes.

Loki and his clones look around searching for the foul mouthed mercenary but have no success "Where did he go?" He quietly mutters to himself.

Like a pantomime both Y/N and Venom quietly yell "HE'S BEHIND YOU!"

Loki snaps his body around and is met with a fist directly to the jaw sending him across the room and causing his clones to disappear from sight but more importantly sending his Sceptre out of his grip.

"OHHHH SERIOUSLY SNEAKY MOVE FROM VENOMPOOL, CAN THE GOD OF MISCHIEF BOUNCE BACK - STAY TUNED FOR MORE" Venom dramatically commentates.

Loki looks up from the floor holding his jaw which is almost instantly beginning to bruise "W-what" he stammers out.

"Oh come on bruv, I thought you liked tricks. NEWS FLASH - VENOMPOOL CAN CAMOUFLAGE AND TURN INVISIBLE, don't tend to use it very often because why deny people this" Y/N gestures to himself.

Loki scrambles desperately to his Sceptre but his legs are caught by two tendrils coming out of Y/N's arms. Y/N then brings the struggling Loki closer to him until he's eye level with him. Loki tries to squirm his way out of Y/N's grip however his attempts are futile.

All goes silent as Y/N whispers threateningly "I'm about to lay the smack down on your candy ass"

Loki's eyes widen slightly before he has a blank look on his face "Oh fu-" before he can finish the sentence Y/N's tendrils begin repeatedly smashing the God of Mischief into the ground, denying the floor every time Loki makes contact with it.

Y/N throws him onto Tony's bar then grabs the nearest bottle he can, Y/N holds Loki down cruelly by his neck before examines the bottle he picked up "Huh Jack Daniel's, Tony has good taste" he turns to Loki "During bad times, some people try to drink their problems away, why don't you try that?"

Y/N smashed the top of the bottle open and shoved the broken end into Loki's mouth forcing him to drink the alcohol, he was noticeably struggling with the alcohol pouring out of his mouth however Y/N didn't care in the slightest "Come on, how are you supposed to rule the world when you can barely hold your alcohol."

After the bottle was empty, Y/N dragged Loki off of the bar and started repeatedly slamming the God's head onto the edge of it, Venom came out of his shoulder and started commentating again "BAH GAWD THE HUMANITY!!! VENOMPOOL IS RUNNING WILD"

Loki's head was bleeding profusely and he was so out of it that he could barely walk "I'm not gonna kill you because I'm pretty sure Mr Olympic Gold Archer and Thunderbird wants a go at you" Y/N then placed Loki on a couple of steps with the God's body laying limply on it. Just as Loki was coming around he heard "Nighty night Princess" and was knocked out by a brutal kick to the nose breaking it in the process "There's is no sweeter sound than that of bones breaking."

"Couldn't agree more, such a shame we can't eat him" Venom said regretfully

Y/N let out a disappointed sigh "I know could've added him to the list of species on the Venompool Menu"

Venompool grabbed Loki's Sceptre off the floor and ran out onto the Tower balcony, he saw that Tony was flying around taking out Chitauri soldiers that were also flying around on their pods.

Thor was commanding the thunder and raining it down onto any enemy unfortunate to be around him.

Hulk was doing his usual shit - Smashing.

Clint was somehow still firing arrows at the space army, god that man must have a never ending supply of arrows.

Finally Cap was fighting off soldiers with his excellent hand to hand combat whilst simultaneously leading innocent citizens to safety.

Y/N had enjoyed the show before him and quickly hopped up onto the roof to hand Natasha the sceptre. She was busy shooting several Chitauri soldiers out of the sky with her pistols, she clocked his presence and went over to him "What took you so long oh great mercenary" She sarcastically asked him.

"Yeah kicked the fuck out of Loki, you know my usual shit. Perhaps I've earned a reward for my work" he pointed to his cheek and tapped it a few times.

Natasha responded by yanking the sceptre out of Y/N's hand "You'll get pregnant before that ever happens"

"Challenge Accepted" he stated proudly which made Natasha look at him as if he had just grown another head which for most people would be their worst nightmare to have two Y/N heads.

Y/N's comm then went off as Natasha went over to close the portal "I can close it, does anybody copy? I can shut it down"

Down on the street Steve who was now joined by Thor and Clint immediately responded "Do it NOW!"

Natasha put the sceptre into the energy barrier and was about to close the portal however Y/N quickly knocked the sceptre out of her hands "What the fuck are you playing at L/N?" She scolded.

"You can't close it yet, there's a nuke coming this way right now, it's gonna go off in three minutes. " Y/N uncharacteristically answered with panic.

Natasha's face dropped and she then sympathetically looked at Y/N "Go" she quietly ordered.

He ran and jumped off of Stark Tower and swung his way towards where Nick had said the missile was coming from.

Down on the ground, Steve, Thor and Clint were confused as to why Natasha hadn't closed the portal. "Romanoff, what are you waiting for? Close the portal!"

Before Natasha could answer, Y/N did it for her "Big fucking missile heading this way Capsicle."

That caused a large amount of worry to increase within the trio on the ground as Clint put his hand to his comm "L/N that's a one way journey."

"I could do with a holiday."

----------------
Venompool was on top of a bridge waiting for the the missile to come closer towards them, Tony's voice came through the comm "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Are you kidding me, the chance to murder an entire space army. This is like my fucking dream. I'd be insane not to do it."

As soon as it got near enough to the bridge he jumped and landed on the top of the missile with him connecting a tendril to each end of weapon "COWABUNGA!!!" Y/N yelled as he was surfing on top of the missile.

"You're crazy! you know that?" Natasha said prepping herself to close the portal.

"And you're ridiculously hot but of course you already know that"

The missile edged closer to Manhattan and just as it was about to hit Stark Tower, Y/N used all of his strength to raise the missile up and as he did the weapon clinked against the side of the Tower.

"MAXIMUM EFFORT!!!" Y/N strained as the missile shot upwards vertically in the direction of the portal within a few seconds, Y/N and the missile were in space.

-------------

Back on the Helicarrier, they were watching as Venompool took the missile inside the portal and the aircraft erupted with noise however strangely enough whilst most S.H.I.E.L.D agents were ecstatic, there were some very obvious scowls on the faces of others.

Hill breathed a long sigh of relief as she stared at the computer screen whilst her superior Director Fury looked on intently, internally hoping that his friend would be okay.

-----------
The five male Avengers looked up at the portal waiting and hoping, they were all gathered on the street together now with Natasha up on top of Stark Tower. Within seconds, the Chitauri soldiers and Leviathans all collapsed to the ground meaning that they had done it, they'd won but now it was a waiting game for Y/N to come back through.

They could hear the explosion from the portal and despite not wanting to Steve reluctantly said to Natasha "Close it" he could barely say it with any volume.

Natasha also figuring it was the best decision but also reluctant did as Steve ordered and penetrated the crown of the wormhole generator with the thick blue beam of light shooting up towards the portal and causing it to close within a few seconds. There was just one problem.

There was no Y/N.

The rest of the team looked up to see nothing come out. "No" Steve muttered so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

Tony put his hands to his head "Fuck!" He yelled out

Thor and Clint looked down at the floor regretfully whilst Hulk angrily grabbed a taxi cab and threw it across the street.

Natasha meanwhile felt a prang of guilt hit her chest hard. 'Maybe if I waited a few more seconds' she thought to herself as she felt a single tear roll down her cheek.

Despite the grief the others felt, there was still one more loose end to tie up - Loki.

Thor flew Steve up and Tony took Clint whilst Hulk using his large muscles just leaped up there. They all met Natasha on the balcony before entering to see a bloodied and badly beaten Loki just coming around.

Natasha whistled as she held his Sceptre "Shit, Y/N really did fuck you up"

Loki looked around and couldn't see any Chitauri outside and he couldn't hear anymore destruction taking place. Those factors combined with the fact that the six Avengers were in the same room as him.

'Wait! Where's the mercenary?" He thought to himself, he looked at the expressions on some of the faces on the room with him and pieced together and let out a small chuckle "The foul mouth fiend is not here, where is he?" He teased knowing it would provoke a reaction.

"Our friend is most likely dead because of you" Steve quietly yet angrily said to Loki.

Loki let a very small smile show on his face "Well I can take some comfort in that" his small triumph was admittedly short lived as Clint fired an arrow through the God of Mischief's shoulder.

"Any chance I could get that drink now" he said as he winced in pain from the arrow lodged deep into his shoulder.

"WAY AHEAD OF YOU!" Someone said from behind the team however as they all turned to see......... No one there.

They thought it was strange and looked to each other "You guys heard that too right?" Clint asked which everyone replied that they had.

They turned back around to face Loki who is still looking smug, Thor goes to retrieve his brother

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Yells the reappearing Y/N, in his suit but without any of his weapons, who scares the life out everyone in the room causing very unmanly screams to be let loose however Y/N sits down next to Loki and places the shot glasses that he had in hands down next to him.

The mercenary and his alien friend who had come out of his shoulder couldn't help but let out bellows of laughter "OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT WORKED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!" If looks could kill then Y/N would be dead along with the whole universe given the furious looks that his teammates were giving him.

Natasha stepped forward and with as much force as she could muster slapped him straight across the face which immediately shut up Y/N almost Instantly "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" She screamed at him

Y/N holds his face in pain "OW! I don't think I deserved that"

"Yes you did!" Steve yelled as he was still coming back from the shock of being literally almost scared to death.

"Hey we were just getting you guys back" Venom said as Y/N held his hands up in defence.

"What did we do to you?" Thor asked loudly not used to this kind of thing back on Asgard.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because no one thought to catch me." Y/N sarcastically stated as the others looked at him confused "Fucking hell, you get decapitated and no one bothers to catch my head. I've got a massive headache now!" He complained.

"Hey we didn't see your head come through" Tony said back as he muttered to the others "That's a sentence I never thought I'd say."

Y/N waved it off, he didn't care to much about it anyway "Don't worry about it." Y/N then turned to Loki and handed him one of the shot glasses "Here you go, it's a Y/N L/N speciality"

Loki takes the shot glass from Y/N and downs it, he tastes the liquid and thinks it's a bit off "What is this drink? it has a very strange texture."

Y/N downs his shot as well and starts laughing loudly once more "Oh yeah when I said it's my specialty, it because I may have just wanked into that shot glass so you've just drank, one hundred percent pure Y/N juice." He slaps Loki on the back "Merry Christmas Rudolph."

Loki looks at him as if a cat has just started talking and then is violently sick on the floor, when he gets back up he is met with a fist to the jaw knocking him out cold.

Everyone then has a disgusted expression on their face as they look at Y/N "What!?" He holds his hands out.

"Remind me never to let you give me a drink" Steve says still looking a little sick with everyone nodding along.

"Did you actually just ejaculate in that glass?" Clint asks with his hands over his mouth muffling his words.

Y/N had a big goofy smile on his face "Yeah, managed to fill that glass in one go." Y/N looked extremely pleased with himself "Pretty good revenge right?" He replies pridefully.

"How is that good revenge!?" Natasha yells at Y/N

"Because Severus Snape here has to live knowing he had my little swimmers in his mouth. That's a pretty horrible thing to live with." Y/N replies "Besides it's not like you'll let me eat him."

Tony holds his hand out for Y/N to stop "The fact that your options for revenge are eating someone or cumming in a shot glass, concerns me"

Thor patted Y/N on the back "They shall hear of this back on Asgard."

Y/N did a triumphant arm thrust "Oh sweet, who'd have thought I'd get into Asgardian legend with wanking. I can chalk today up as a win."

Hulk had now turned back into Bruce then also puked on the floor "Oh Jesus" he weakly said

"Ahhh that is beautiful sight" Venom exclaimed.

Y/N walked over and wrapped his arm around Tony who was a little horrified at the mess in his tower "Your janitor is gonna be pissed." He patted him on the back.

Steve then walked over and gave his friend a hug as did Bruce which took Y/N by surprise "We thought we lost you." Steve said

"Yeah not gonna happen anytime soon, I still have to give you the crash course of all things since you've been iced" Y/N says pulling out of the hug.

Clint, Tony and Thor gave Y/N fist bumps as they begin to celebrate their victory despite all the destruction. Thor grabs Loki off of the ground and puts him in a fireman's carry presumably wanting to take him back to Asgard.

"Have you guys ever tried Shawarma?" Tony asks to the rest of the boys as they exit the room leaving just Y/N and Natasha.

Y/N saw that Natasha had a smug look on her face "I'll admit L/N, I was wrong about you. You really managed to come through when we needed it."

Y/N smiled genuinely at her but his expression soon dropped "Not sure it was worth it though"

Natasha also had a mournful expression on her expression "I know we lost a lot but it could've been so much worse."

Y/N turned to Natasha his mouth wide open "What do you mean it could've been worse!? I'm fucking pissed that I lost my swords, those bastards have been with me since 1915."

Natasha shook her head the Y/N she knew was back "You're unbelievable" she softly said

"I know" he said proudly "I'm also really hoping that the rest of me was destroyed in that explosion, I'd really hate to think that there's some aliens using my headless body as a sex toy" Y/N does a full body shudder "Creepy."

Natasha smiled again unintentionally but Y/N caught it "Made you smile again!" He pointed at her face before clapping his hands together "Now if you'll excuse me, there is a feast of dead Chitauri soldiers outside and you know saving the world really builds up an appetite."

Y/N put his mask back on then ran out of the balcony and swan dived off the edge of it. Natasha watched as he dove off "Weirdo"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Nick Fury and Maria Hill were talking on the bridge of the Helicarrier whilst looking out over the sky, their battle scars still evident on their faces.

Hill had something on her mind as she stood next to the S.H.I.E.L.D Director "Sir, how's it going to work now, in a few days most of them will be going their separate ways. Some really far away. If a situation like this arises again what happens then?"

Fury looked back slightly at Hill before confidently reassuring her "They'll come back."

Hill was surprised at the almost instantaneous response if her Boss' answer "You sure about that?" She skeptically says

Yet again Fury answers with the same confidence "I am"

Hill still wants to dig just a little deeper "Why?"

"Because we'll need them to"

Fury's words linger in the air for a few seconds with Hill really taking them in fully. She seems satisfied as she produces a small almost nonexistent smile before walking back to do her job whilst Fury continues to look on at the cloudy sky.

"They'll be back" He says quietly to himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Avengers were all going to go their separate ways however Y/N was going to move and live with Steve in Washington DC for a while to do as he promised and better integrate him into the real world.

Venompool meanwhile sat atop of The Status of Liberty's head watching the orange sky bleed over the horizon that was New York City.

"You excited to live with Steve?" Venom asked

"Yeah for sure can't wait to expose Captain America to the world of today."

"I'm can't wait to see how he puts up with us."

Y/N mockingly held his chest "Hey! If you ask me, if Steve can put up living with us then there is no force in this universe that can stop him."

Venom shrugged slightly "Fair enough we're pretty tricky customers."

"That we are my friend. That we are" H/N confirmed, he then felt a buzzing in his pocket and took out his phone to see a text from Steve who admittedly was still learning the ropes of the modern day language.

Hello Y/N,

I am finishing off packing my things and will be ready soon. You should finish packing your things too so that we can leave for Washington DC on Friday. Please contact me if you would like to get food.

From Steve.

Y/N was very unsure as to what he was reading on his screen as was Venom who looked at each other in horror "What is this monstrosity that he had written!?"

"Let me send him a text back" Y/N quickly sent him a reply within about ten seconds

Spangles, 1 - lose the formality, I'm not the fucking Queen. 2- Yes I want food when do I not? 🤣 I'll pick up some chimichangas, Project Steve Rogers Modernisation is a go.

"I suppose we'd better head off then" Venom then did a dramatic mock voice of Captain America "He'll want us to be punctual."

Y/N laughed at Venom's terrible impression of Steve "Well to end this off, how about another joke?" He asked

Venom slapped his head "No, No, No, No I think we've heard enough of your jokes."

Y/N continued with his joke nonetheless "What do you get when you take eight feet of anger, a pinch of archery, a dab of thunder, a cup full of patriotism, a splash of wealth, a bowl of estrogen and a wheelbarrow full of alien mercenary hybrid....... I'll tell you what you get - you get your fucking ass kicked"

"Too fucking right"

Venompool then jumped off of Lady Liberty and created a tendril and swung away, fully prepared to tackle the next part of his journey.

THE END

Post Credits Scene

It was two days after the Battle of New York and Tony had invited the Avengers for a celebratory meal before they all go their separate ways for a while.

It was currently dinner time and Tony had ordered a shit load of take out, everyone was sitting at the table on the balcony overlooking New York, well everyone was there except for Y/N, "So where is Y/N? I thought this would be his type of thing." Tony asked as he grabbed a slice of pizza.

"I don't know, if I know him he's either killing someone or doing something stupid." Bruce replied as he ate his noodles.

"I'm willing to bet on him doing something stupid." Clint says

"I would also wager this." Thor dramatically says

"Me too" Natasha chips in

Having faith in the reason for Y/N's absence, Steve says "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for not being here." Steve politely puts his hand up which is met from scoffs from the others.

"Celebrating are we?" The team looked over to see Fury leaning against a glass window before walking over and taking a seat himself.

"Something like that." Tony invited Fury to take some food but he declined. The S.H.I.E.L.D Director's comm then went off and Hill was on the other end.

"Sir, the Quinjet has gone missing" She reports to him.

"What do you mean the Quinjet has gone missing!?" He replies the annoyance clear on his face as he storms off to go and chase up Hill on this situation.

Bruce's mobile then goes off, he grabs it out of his pocket and looks at the caller ID to see Y/N's name come up then answers the phone putting it on speaker.

"Y/N, where are you? We're all waiting on you" Bruce queries

"Yeah, sorry Shrek. I'm a little preoccupied right now." Y/N says however this a strange whooshing noises in the background which confuses the others.

"Y/N, what is that noise?" Steve curiously asks putting his knife and fork down.

"Oh am I on speaker? Hey teammates, now the world's no longer in danger, does this give me a free pass to flirt with you Natasha?"

Tony, Thor and Clint chuckle as Natasha shakes her head after drinking her milkshake "No it does not, L/N"

"Awwww, my heart is broken. Now quick question, Nicholas isn't there is he?"

"Whyyyyyyyy?" Clint asked quizzically to Y/N

"Oh no reason........... GIVE WAY TO THE FUCKING LEFT, FUCK ME! YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES FLYING!...... stupid birds"

The other Avengers looked around at each other until Natasha has a look of realisation on her face before she angrily grabs Bruce's phone and yells quietly "Oh my fucking god L/N! Have you stolen the Quinjet!?

Thor whispered to the other boys "Please let this be true" he crossed his fingers with a big desperate smile on his face earning a punch in the arm from Steve.

"Pffffffft, I haven't stolen the Quinjet, stealing implies ownership. It merely fell into my hands."

Natasha was less than convinced evidently shown by her tone of voice "Really L/N? You expect us to believe a massive fucking jet just fell into your hands" Clint then wrestled the phone away from Natasha's grasp and placed it back in the middle of the table do they could all hear better.

Y/N chuckled "Nothing gets past you red, not a hair joke despite how luxurious it is." Natasha rolled her eyes "But in all seriousness, I'm in the Quinjet."

"WHAT!!!!" The Avengers all turned their heads to see Fury with a look of well..... Fury on his face as he stormed over to dinner table and gave Y/N a bollocking "Y/N that is S.H.I.E.L.D property you've stolen, bring it back RIGHT NOW!"

Y/N innocently replied "But you said I could borrow it"

Nick looked confused as he furrowed his eyebrows "No I distinctly remember saying that you couldn't borrow it."

"Well yeah but you winked after you said it"

Fury had a look of disbelief on his face as the rest of the Avengers minus Steve and Natasha were chuckling "I wear an eye patch L/N, I was blinking!" He yelled back at Venompool.

"Well it seemed like a wink to me"

"I can't wink when one eye is permanently closed! You Moron!" Fury fired back even now Natasha and Steve couldn't help cracking smiles as well.

"MORON!!!? If you weren't so busy doing a pirate cosplay then I would've known you were blinking and not winking. GAME. SET. MATCH. I WIN THE ARGUMENT!" The others could hear Y/N slamming his fists down in victory.

Fury figured that it was pointless arguing with Y/N, this was however beyond his usual antics "Y/N just bring back the Quinjet, would you!?" He ordered calmly covering his eyes with his hands.

"Sorry Cyclops, ha double entendre, but you're breaking up." Y/N and Venom started making static noises together.

"VENOMPOOL!!!" Fury yelled however it was pointless as the line went dead at this point.

The Avengers were in pits of laughter muffled by the food in their mouths even Steve and Natasha were laughing whilst Fury had massive scowl on his face.

Natasha leaned in towards Steve's eat and whispered "Told you he'd be doing something stupid" she had a smirk on her face and unfortunately Steve couldn't help but agree.

THE END OF THE AVENGERS PHASE, HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED.

APOLOGIES FOR NOT UPDATING IN NEARLY A WEEK, HOPEFULLY THE NEAR 10000 WORD CHAPTER MAKES UP FOR IT. THE LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN BY MILES.

TWO QUESTIONS FOR YOU ALL:

WHAT ARE YOUR PREDICTIONS FOR WHAT HAPPENS WITH VENOMPOOL IN THE FUTURE?

WHAT MCU MOVIES WILL VENOMPOOL BE A PART OF?

ONE OR TWO LITTLE ADVENTURES OF VENOMPOOL BEFORE PHASE FOUR CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER.