When I got home, I thought I'd puke my guts out.

Last time I got wasted like that, it was New Years and I swore off booze forever. That turned out to be a big fat lie. Hunched over the toilet, I prayed the last chunks of bile had come up. All I wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep it off.

How Kaz held all that alcohol in his little body was beyond me. Maybe it was cause he's part Russian. Who knows? Trying to keep up with him and the guys proved to be a horrible decision on my end.

Alcohol didn't take any of the pain away. It only worsened it. My head and stomach throbbed terribly. I could barely stand on my own two feet. After using some minty mouth wash to get rid of the vomit taste that lingered on my tongue, I changed into some comfy pajamas and curled up in bed alone.

Adam still hadn't come home. His dinner remained in the microwave. I tried texting him, but he never answered. I even called once, but it went to voicemail.

I missed him so much. I just wanted him to hold me close and tell him about my night. While I knew he must be working on an important case, I wished he'd hurry home. Would it be this way whenever we had kids? They'd be fast asleep, probably dozing off after staying up as long as they could for their daddy.

After I'd dozed off for a good thirty or so minutes, the bedroom door creaking open stirred me awake. Sitting up, I rubbed at my tired eyes as Adam crept across the room.

"Sorry, honey. Did I wake you?" Adam asked.

Fighting back a yawn, I replied, "Yeah, but I'd just fallen asleep a few minutes ago. I went out with Emmett, Kaz, and Mal tonight."

"You did?" Adam flipped the light switch on.

Bright light swallowed my vision as I flinched and shielded my eyes. It stung them so badly.

"Mal found Dylan at the Lucky Lady Lounge," I told him. "We spoke to him. Doesn't seem like he's responsible. Emmett threatened him to stay away from me and the old hair salon we deal at."

"I see." Adam wrinkled his nose as he got closer to me. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yeah. It was just to relax," I replied. "You know, after everything that's happened. I put your dinner in the microwave, by the way. If you're hungry. Sorry we couldn't eat together tonight."

"Nah, it's fine. I'm glad you had fun. Hopefully that Dylan guy stays away, otherwise he'll be getting threats from me too," Adam warned. "Maybe you should stop dealing for them for a bit too. Just in case. I don't want you putting yourself in danger."

"Dylan's no big deal," I insisted. "Just a douche-canoe. He won't hurt me."

"Don't underestimate people, Everly. That Dylan guy could easily try something–"

"You think I can't handle myself?" I asked, sitting up. "I'm just some damsel in distress?"

"No, I know you're able to kick ass when you need to. But when you let your guard down, people can stab ya in the back. None of us are invincible. Not even me. That's why I think you should stop dealing for the rebels. For now. I'm worried about you."

"This is the only way I can get closer to finding out who tried to kill me, who killed our baby. And you want me to stop?" I asked in disbelief.

"I'm trying my best to find the bitch too," Adam said.

"Yeah, well it's not enough," I snapped. "You don't have any leads, do you? You've been working on other cases that I guess are much more important."

"Everly, come on. That's not true. You know the police can just ignore other crimes and focus solely on your case, but we haven't forgotten about it either. We're getting closer to the truth. I'm sure of it."

"You don't have to bullshit me. I'm not a little girl who needs to be protected with white lies."

"I'm not. I'm being honest." Adam groaned. "Look, you're drunk. Just go back to sleep and we'll talk more about this later."

"Fine, leave me alone." Resting my head back down on my pillow, I tugged the comforter back over my body.

Adam muttered, "If you're gonna act like this then I'll crash on the couch."

"Do whatever you want."

Sweet dreams didn't come to me that night. Only gristly nightmares of me dying and losing our baby. The nightmares never were identical, but they all shared the same thing. Losing the family I wanted to build with Adam.

Come morning time, I felt worse than ever. The hangover I had made me want to stay in bed the rest of the day. I didn't want to abandon my safe, comfy bed.

When Adam came up to check on me, I kept my eyes closed and pretended to sleep. I wasn't ready to talk or argue again. He understood why I helped Emmett with his gang. There was nothing else to discuss. Just because someone hurt me didn't mean I needed to live in fear and hole myself off in my house.

"You're terrible at fake sleeping," Adam said. "I know you're still mad about what I said last night. I'm just worried about you. Seriously, how do you expect to deal drugs if we have kids? I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I'm not letting my kids anywhere around Emmett's hideout with all those drugs."

"Your kids?" I sat up, brushing the hair out of my face. "The decisions we make for them will be together. If I want to bring them by the hideout, then I will. The place isn't filthy. There's not drug paraphernalia laying around everywhere either. We maintain the place just as well as a business–"

"Are you being for real? You plan to bring little kids to a fucking drug house? I swear, I'll get that place closed down for good if you even tried. I'm not letting our kids ruin their lives with drugs like y'all did."

That remark struck a nerve. Blinking fiercely, I tried to keep the tears at bay. "You think I ruined my life?"

"Fuck. Everly, I–"

"If that's how you really feel then why are you with me?" I asked him. "Do you just pity me for ruining my life?"

"I'm with you because I love you. I want what's best for you. Do you really want to deal dope forever?"

"I mean, no. But Emmett needs me. I can't just abandon him."

"So, you choose him over me then?" Adam asked.

"You can't expect me to choose between y'all. I care about you both. I need to be there to keep him steady," I explained. "It's not like you'd abandon Archie for me."

"Yeah, I would. At least, I thought I would. I'm not so sure anymore."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've always been smart enough not to do anything too reckless. Despite your affiliation with the gang, I fell in love with you. I put my job on the line everyday by being with you and knowing about your brother's gang status as their leader. If anyone ever learned that I kept quiet about this, I'd be in deep shit." Adam shook his head. "I thought when you wanted to start a family, that meant you'd give up the gang life and dealing. I guess I was wrong."

"Are you going to quit your job then?" I countered. "You put yourself in harm's way everyday and don't get home until very late. Your shifts don't align with parenting. You'd barely see your kids. They'd be asleep when you got home."

"I'd ask my sergeant to work the night shifts instead, that way I could be home around morning," Adam replied. "I have time off saved up too, so I could take a few weeks off to spend with y'all. I get what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. I can sacrifice a lot of sleep to make it work. It'll be tough, but I know I can do it. My job puts food on the table."

"How do you think I paid for this house?" I gestured around. "My car? My fucking clothes? Money didn't just fall into my lap. I earned it by dealing."

"I'm not gonna argue with you over this all morning. I gotta get to work. Maybe you'll be in a better mood by the time I get back." Adam closed the door behind him, and I listened for his footsteps to slowly fade away.

How could he expect me to choose between him and Emmett? Adam made an excellent point about when we had kids though. But he'd have to rework his schedule too. It wasn't like I could bring our babies to the stash houses or deal dope with them. I wouldn't be that kind of mother. No kid deserved to grow up around those toxic drugs.

If only someone stopped Emmett back then, before it was too late.

After spending too much alone time with my thoughts, I forced myself out of bed to prepare breakfast for myself. Adam must've made himself something simple and took off for work. Part of me wanted to ask if he'd like to share lunch together, but we were fighting. He'd probably decline anyway and claim he was too busy with a stupid case.

My mind went back to my stalker again too. As I grabbed a bowl and box of Frosted Flakes from the cabinet, I peeked out the window. Nobody lurked around the neighborhood that morning. I almost went outside on the porch to feed the stray cats like I used to do. I missed them so much. No new cats had come around lately either. When I got my hands on that bitch... I'd be sure she regretted ever messing with me.

The problem with finding my stalker was how she popped up so unexpectedly. It was quite peculiar how she laid low for so long. Maybe she got spooked? Or, maybe she had other plans in store for me. There was no telling what went through the lunatic's head.

Shoveling a spoonful of cereal in my mouth, I focused my attention on the night ahead. Thank goodness I'd already bought Sydney's present ahead of time, otherwise I'd be foraging all over New Syracuse for a gift. All I had to do was wrap it with some leftover Christmas paper. I bought her a poster for her favorite band and a heart-shaped pendant with a skull head.

Nightfall came before long, and I got ready for the night ahead of me. I spent most of the day cleaning up around the house after I wrapped Sydney's presents and wrote out the card for her. I knew she'd love them too.

Layla came over later to help me with my makeup too. I decided to let her doll me up for the one night I'd finally let loose, aside from getting drunk last night. Shimmery blue eye shadow with little glitter stars covered my eyelids. Concealer and foundation hid all the blemishes on my face too.

Daubing her brush against my cheek, Layla asked, "Adam at work tonight?"

"Yeah, probably another late shift," I muttered. "He can stay there all night if he wants."

"Oh, trouble in paradise?"

"We got into a bit of a fight," I admitted. "He doesn't want me to deal for the Voiceless Rebels anymore."

"Ah, I see. Adam can be like that sometimes. He has a hero complex, I think." Layla stroked her fingers through my curled hair. "Used to tell me I was too pretty to be stripping. Wanted me to find a real job instead. He doesn't understand why we do this for those gangs. We're not stupid. We want to prove to the men that we can be just as powerful, if not more."

"I guess he kinda made a good point about leaving if we had kids... But he didn't need to be so harsh about it." Folding my arms across my chest, I shivered at the cold chill that crept over me.

"Don't let him get you down. He doesn't control you, Everly. You can do whatever the hell you want," Layla said. "Adam's a conservative man. He's old-fashioned too. Those types will try to hold you back, but you can't let them. I see a spark in you. Don't let them put it out."

"Yeah, you're right. I can do whatever the hell I want." I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. "Come on, let's go party. Tonight's about Sydney. Nothing else matters."

"Love the attitude." Layla gleamed.

Little did I know that my stalker was closer than I expected.