ACT FORTY-EIGHT

THE ONE WHO WORRIES

When Tres and I parted ways yesterday, I knew I can only be worried about him, but I can only refrain from meddling with his affairs.

As much as I want to ask him about his plans about his league, I couldn't find it in my heart to do so, the reason why I left him a peaceful smile. He returned it with a warm goodbye.

I didn't want to disrespect his beliefs. But with the way how he told me things he's worried about, it made me realize that he is revealing who he is before me.

To know and feel that someone is entrusting a piece of them is heartwarming. For them to put their trust in me is a reality that I have no plans on breaking. The essence of trust is undeniably complex to attain, but to break is as simple.

It was the reason why I chose to feel. Though there were words unsaid, the emotions that relayed through his actions are enough for me to understand. After all, amidst the unjust things the world has, the best thing to do is to understand where they're coming from.

The festive sight of the Royal Colleges of the Arts greeted me as soon as I left the dormitory. It wasn't unusual to see a lot of pieces being transported one after another, but today, it exceeded the what-would-be-normal.

Iginala ko muli ang tingin sa paligid, naghahanap ng senyales kung ano ang mayroon. I have no classes for today but I chose to stay at the dorm, the reason why the presence of the students shook me. Besides, I'll be working out at the gym later for tomorrow's competition.

Umalis ako mula sa pwesto at naglibot. The presence of the flyers and banners made me remember that the College is holding an Art Fair. Kahapon ay walang mga nakasabit na banner, rason kung bakit ko nakalimutan.

Habang naglalakad ay napansin ko ang pagtayo ng maraming booths. There are some stalls around especially made to cater to the photography booths and piercing and tattoo booths. Some of the College's students are taking an apprenticeship at piercing and tattoo shops, the reason of the booths' presence.

There are other art-related things under a white gazebo. Though there were not many pieces that are displayed, for now, it was enough to show how many will be put up. May nakikita rin akong mga booths tungkol sa embroidery at kung ano-ano pa.

Annika and I met at the Suite le Passion a few minutes later. Naabutan ko siya roon na nagii-sketch sa sketchbook habang may hawak na nakatuping papel si Zoren. Sa paraan ng pabalik-balik ng tingin ni Annika ay nalaman kong ginagamit niyang reference ang papel.

"Zoren!" rinig kong sita ni Annika nang makarating ako.

I picked up a paper fan medallion and saw that there are a lot more on the table. May gunting, papel, at glue stick na nakakalat.

"Your table's messy," I commented when I sat down.

"Si Zoren kasi! Hindi inaayos ang trabaho."

"Aba? Ako pa?! Ako na nga ginagawa mong alalay."

Annika raised her head. "But when you confessed to me, sabi mo handa ka maging alalay ko? Salita ka lang ba?"

Dramatikong napasinghap si Zoren. "A-Anong!" Namula siya at nag-iwas ng tingin, inaayos ang pagkahahawak sa papel. "Sabi ko nga, mananahimik na."

Annika discreetly laughed before she continued with her sketch.

Bumaling ako kay Zoren, hawak-hawak ang papel. "You made these, Zoren?"

"Inutusan e, anong magagawa ko?" nakanguso niyang sabi.

Bahagya akong natawa at maingat na inilapag ang papel sa lamesa. Nanatili pa ring nakaangat ang kamay niya.

"Are you going to visit the Art Fair, Anni?"

She looked at me from her sketchbook. "Oo! Pa-mayamaya. Wala pa bang naka-setup na booths? 'Yung mga kumpleto na?"

I shook my head. "What time is the fair? I'm interested to see their works..."

"Zoren, what time raw? Kasama painting mo, 'di ba?"

Flustered, he dropped the paper. He muttered a word before he glanced at me. "A-Ano... mga alas nuebe. Hindi naman ata gaanong mainit kasi makulimlim."

"Where will be the paintings displayed?" I asked, an ache in my heart.

"Do'n sa isang bakanteng building para maprotektahan 'yung mga painting. 'Yung sa mga sculpture, 'di ko lang alam."

I nodded and immediately fell silent.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit may hinihintay pa akong ibang sagot.

❦

That noon, I decided to visit the booths. Mula kaninang umaga hanggang tanghali ay namahinga ako sa kwarto, rason kung bakit hapon na ako lumabas.

As I walked around, I saw that there are countless booths that are being surrounded by visitors. The most noticeable ones are around the piercing and tattoo booths which is enough to be considered as a small building. It's hygienic, the reason why there's no need to worry about getting any diseases.

The Art Fair is a public event that is meant to garner curators, collectors, and other people who are interested in buying some pieces of art. It has been an event for years now, but among my stay in the College, it was until today that I decided to attend the Fair.

I couldn't find it in my heart to do so. I didn't have the interest to put up my work as a part of the Fair, either. It's not only because I didn't like it that much, but I also know that it's not enough to be called an art.

I treated my fashion design works as unworthy in comparison to them. Sure, I poured what I can in the creation of those works, but the feeling it gave off didn't make me feel satisfied. Parang pinipilit ko lang ang kulay at disenyo habang ginagawa 'yon.

I just couldn't find it in my heart to completely love fashion design. But if they were to ask me to dance ballet in front of them, even unprepared and in shock, I will try my best and show them how I love the league that I'm in.

Walang makatutumbas sa pagmamahal ko sa pag-baballet.

I looked around more and saw a sight of the tall sculptures. Napadaan pa ako sa ibang mga naka-display bago makarating do'n. Pagtigil sa harap ay nakita ko ang pangalan ni Gio, ang pangalan pati ang titulo ng gawa ay nakaukit sa gintong plaka.

The Eve.

The sculpture is a woman sculpted into a voluptuous body. Her arms are stretched as if she's reaching for something while her hair moved along with the fabric of her dress. The drapes of the intricate dress reminded me of the lightness of linen fabric.

The statue atop a platform is a little taller than the sculptor, yet when he stood beside it, he didn't look lesser—he looked as bright as his work. The way how he smiled showed how proud he is with it.

"Did you put it up for commission, Gio?" tanong ko kay Gio, nakangising katabi ng inukit niya.

"Ewan. Depende," kaswal niyang sagot at bahagyak tinapik ang telang nakatabing sa hita. The woman's dress ended at her feet, the reason why only a bit of it showed. "Ano? Musta? Ganda niya, 'no?"

Pinigilan ko ang sariling pakiramdaman ang iniukit, takot na masira. Itinago ko ang kamay sa halukipkip.

"Yes," I answered as I looked up to her face. "Are her eyes closed, Gio? Can you explain to me about your work?"

He gave me a smile before he cleared his throat. He proudly stood beside his statue and acted as if he is talking to an interested buyer.

"My piece is called 'The Eve' from my series of 'Genesis: The Beginning' which consists of two sculptures: The Adam and The Eve. Hindi ko sila pinagalanang Adam at Eve lang dahil may karakter sila. They are the Adam and the Eve." He acted as if he's in an auction.

"It's in my eye the way how I interpreted it. Nakapikit ang mata ni Eve dahil ayaw niyang makita ang katotohanan. Ang pagbanat ng kamay niya ay ang kabulagan niya mula roon. Inaabot niya ang pansariling kagustuhan."

He drew his finger at the creases of her dress. "Kung papansining maigi, makikita kung paano hinihila ng damit ang katawan papalayo sa inaabot ni Eve. It's my interpretation of the goodness that Eve is blinded in. Pansin na ang buong katawan na ang humihila, pero ang pagkabanat ng kamay ay nagpapakita ng sobra-sobra kung gaano niya kagusto abutin ang mali."

The way how Gio spoke about his work reminded me of an individual's passion. Though it didn't feel as strong as Tres, it is enough for me to know that the sculptor is proud of his sculpture.

"Ayos ba?" he proudly asked, a wide smile on his face.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapapalakpak habang nakaawang ang bibig. "I didn't notice the dress, Gio. I'm too amazed at your work!"

He shyly chuckled. "Salamat. May utak rin naman ako, Miss B, kahit na puno ako ng kalokohan."

Suminghap ako. "I didn't say that you are!" I exclaimed.

"Pero gano'n naman ipinakikita mo!" natatawa niyang sabi bago pagtuonan ng pansin ang dumating.

I continued to stare at his sculpture while he talked to an interested client. Malawak ang ngiti ni Gio habang nakikipag-usap ngunit pinananatili ang pormal sa mukha. Naririnig ko pa ang masaya niyang sagot nang magtanong ang kliyente tungkol sa iba pang bagay.

They conversed for a while before Gio returned to me. May hawak siyang calling card.

"Ano, Vien? Baka umalis ako rito, interesado kasing bilhin?" hindi niya makapaniwalang sabi, nakatingin sa calling card.

Napapalakpak muli ako. "That's good!" natutuwa kong sabi. "I hope you'll be satisfied once you put it up for payment.

"Salamat, Vien!" Humalakhak siya. "Gan'yan din siguro magiging sagot ni Tres."

Bahagyang bumigat ang dibdib ko. "You think?" I asked, a little hopeful.

Natatawa siyang tumango. "Oo naman, s'yempre. Halos pareho na kayo mag-isip, e!"

My heart swelled because of that. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa nang bahagya.

"Seal that deal if you're contented with it, Gio," nakangiti kong sabi.

He saluted. "Yes, Ma'am!"

Natatawa ako nang umalis.

I know that the way how artists treat their work varies from one after another. One can treat it as much as their cost of living, while one can treat it as a piece of their solitude. No matter what type of artist they are, it should end up in three things—happiness, contentment, and satisfaction.

I believe that those are the closest things to feel once we decided to pursue our passion. It will not only be fulfilling, but it will also help the way how our beliefs work.

I passed by Michelangelo who had paint poured on his body. On his arms was Lael who was staring at him, her hands on his face. They were busy looking at each other.

I was excited to talk to her and hold a conversation because we weren't able to. Because we were busy these days, with my involvement in the ballet company, and Versechia's schedule for her special singing program. It's the reason why we couldn't attend this Art Fair together. 

But when I saw that they were engaged in a conversation, I chose not to talk to them. 

My curiosity about Lael's chosen league can wait; it was not yet the time. Besides, she already talked about it when she was with Versechia and I. The problem was, she was still hesitant when she talked about sculpting.  

But I can see in her eyes that she was happy that's why I didn't ponder into it that much. 

Sighing, I took a leave and continued to look around.

I happened to pass by the fashion design section and saw Annika's booth. I happily visited her and saw that some of her works clothed a mannequin.

"This is nice!" I exclaimed as I pointed at the classic white dress she put up. The way how she styled it reminded me of the elegance a high-end clothing line has. "I like the style, Anni. You found yours now?"

Ngumuso siya at umiling, may medida sa kan'yang leeg. Lumapit siya sa 'kin habang hawak ang notebook na may sketch.

"Nag-eexperiment lang ako. Narinig ko kasi na may clients daw na dadating. I got one!" She raised the sketch adorned with measurements. Her wide smile showed how she is enthusiastic with the client she earned.

"They asked you to create a dress?"

"Yes! 'Yan 'yung sketch na gusto niya. Nag-iwan din siya ng calling card. Sabi niya, susuotin daw niya sa isang gala event. Imagine how happy I feel, Vien?!" Her excited form made me happy.

Natatawa kong tinapik ang balikat niya. "I'm so proud of you, Anni! The next news that I'll be hearing is your rise to fame."

She pouted and touched her chest. "Aw... ang sweet-sweet naman ni Vien!" Marahan niyang pinalis ang gilid ng mata at niyakap ako. "I'll miss you..."

Pilit kong pinigilan ang magpakawala ng hikbi. "I'll miss you, too, Anni... When will I see you again?"

Suminghot siya. "Aattend talaga ako ng bawat recital mo, Vien! Gagawin ko ang best ko kasi gustong-gusto kitang suportahan."

My heart swelled with what she said, the reason why I found it in my heart to hug her. Mahigpit ang pagkayayakap ko, gano'n din ang ginawa niya. Nang humiwalay ay tumatawa, nagpapalis din ng luha katulad ko.

"Aw... Vien! Sinusunod mo na ang pangarap mo," she said, her eyes a little bit red.

I nodded and smiled. "I'm happy, too, Annika. We're achieving our dreams now. Ang tagal nating pinangarap..."

"Sobrang tagal nga! Aabutin ko na ang diploma ko. Soon, ikaw naman. Hihintayin kita sa field, ha? I want to create your wedding dress! O kaya katulad ng sa Mommy mo, custom-made costume."

May bumalot na kasiyahan sa puso ko. "I'll wait for that, Anni. I'll see you there."

Our conversation ended when a client approached her. I wholeheartedly gave her a goodbye, proud of what she's achieving.

I found myself in the painting section. The way how the paintings reminded me of the passion-deprived man made me feel sad.

No matter how distinct they are from one another, I kept on searching for his paintings. But I know it's impossible. I can only hope for his piece to be put up, but if it were to, it means that someone has gotten his consent. Yet with the lack of the presence of his pieces, it made me think of a lot of things.

I wonder, if he knew about the event, will he attend? If he were to visit this part of the Fair, what will he feel?

Mabigat ang dibdib ay ay iniwas ko ang tingin sa mga nakasabit na paintings.

Inilipat ko ang tingin sa maliit na bag at nakita ang kulay itim na box. With an aching heart, I reached for the only content in the bag. As I drew it away from its place, I can only be saddened with what I realized.

I plan... to give this to Tres. It was desperate for me to think that he'll attend. If he were to and I was able to give this to him, will he appreciate it? My gift is related to painting—the league that he left, will he be able to love it the same way as before?

I heaved a sigh and return the box inside the bag. Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay bumungad sa 'kin ang mata ni Tres.

I blinked. Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko.

"Lavien, I can't find your name in the fashion design area." His face looked hopeful. The way how his eyes lit up made me feel nervous. There's something in it that looked lively. It looked happy and anticipating, too. It felt as if he is yearning for something.

"I-I..." Napaawang ang bibig ko, iba't ibang emosyon ang bumalot sa katawan. Humugot ako ng malalim ha hininga, kinakalma ang nararamdaman. "Y-You're..."

He tilted his head; his regally-styled hair didn't move an inch.

Itinaas niya ang kilay, may maliit na ngisi sa labi. "Vien?" he asked, a little worried.

Napasinghap ako. He's here and I can't believe it! I knew the possibility of it wouldn't be high because of what happened... but for him to appear before me?

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakikita.

I finally found the courage to tell the word that I'm proud of, but the way how my heart beated kept on getting in the way.

"I-I shifted, Tres." Hindi ko alam kung bakit naginhawaan ako sa sinabi. It felt different when I said that. "I-I thought you knew-"

"I know." Nang iniangat ko ang tingin ay nakangiti si Tres.

"O-Of course! You even saw me dancing ballet..." Malakas ang tibok ng puso ko, ang kamay ay nanginginig.

The thought of me being able to give my gift for him is too much. It felt overwhelming to feel! Sobrang saya ng pakiramdam ko.

"Yeah, I just want to hear it from you."

His lively smile added another layer to my happiness. The way how his eyes lit up—a thing that I yearned seeing—made me happy. I know... I know that there's something in him that changed. That even though he is acting way differently from yesterday, I can only be happy with how he's keeping up.

Sabay tayong mangamba, his baritone voice rang in my ears.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga, bahagyang naiiyak. Ang pagrinig sa maliit na tawa ni Tres ang lalong nakadagdag sa nararamdaman ko.

With a wider smile, he pulled me into a hug. The way how his familiar warmth made me feel at peace left me in awe. When I closed my eyes to know how warmth felt like, I felt contentment. I didn't expect it to be but I didn't bother complaining.

It was... a feeling that I kept on asking for.

"You're crying again, Vien? Bakit kapag kasama mo ko, palagi kang umiiyak?" He let out a raspy chuckle as he stroked my hair. Pinigilan ko ang sariling sumiksik pa sa kan'yang dibdib, hinahangad pa na marinig ang tibok ng puso niya.

His heartbeat felt in sync with mine... and the way how his voice sounded soft...

Gusto kong ako lang ang makarinig no'n.

"Your voice..." I mumbled, but I know it was muffled with my mouth against his chest. Dinadama ko ang init ng dibdib at ang tibok ng puso.

He moved his head. "My what, Vien?"

Idinilat ko ang mata, ang tingin ay nasa damit niya. It's real... Tres is here...

Umiling ako. "Nothing... I didn't say anything." Naramdaman ko ang pamumula ng mukha.

His warm chuckle environed my ears, the reason why my heartbeat rose.

Kahit kinakabahan ay kumalas ako sa pagkayayakap, ang tingin sa kung saan. Ngunit sa paraan ng pagtingin ni Tres ay hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng kakaiba.

His hand around my shoulders glided down to my hand and discreetly intertwined. The way how he looked around and acted as if he did nothing—yet I felt how he did it—put me in shock. His warmth immediately filled my hand, the reason why I felt warm.

Pinigilan ko ang mapangiti nang nagbaba ng tingin si Tres sa 'kin. "Vien, I want to go to a photobooth."

I blinked and met his soft, dominating eyes. I don't even know how he made it appear like that. It felt affectionate yet demanding...

I looked around, his other hand at the side of my shoulders. "You visit photobooths, Tres?"

Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Bakit? Is it unjustly, Vien?"

Bahagya akong umiling, natatawa. "No, I just didn't expect someone like you to visit photobooths."

He shrugged and carefully put me to his side. Nakataas ang kan'yang ulo nang magsimulang maglakad. "It's alright, Vien. With you, it is."

Suminghap ako nang makaramdam ng kakaiba.

I know that the feeling I have towards him kept on brewing, yet I didn't expect it to be as strong as this. Kahit simpleng paglalakad at pagkurap niya ay hindi ko mapigilang mapahanga. Hindi ko rin mabilang ang beses ng mga tao na nagtatanong tungkol sa 'ming dalawa.

I couldn't say any answer, anyway. It's not as if there's something official between the both of us—we only knew that there's something going on.

Are we afraid to hear that it isn't what we think it's like? It must be the reason why I'm satisfied with feeling... but I hope I'd get the courage to tell...

When we arrived at the photobooth and got our turn, he immediately put me behind the huge cutout of an Instagram post. May kaonting ngiti sa labi ni Tres habang inaayos ang korona sa ulo ko.

"Fix mine," he gently asked as he held the king's crown towards me.

I discreetly looked around, uncomfortable with the attention we're getting. Ngunit hindi nagpapatalo si Tres, rason kung bakit natulak ko ang sarili na ipatong ang korona sa kan'yang ulo.

With a wide, satisfied on his face, he winked at me.

He's capable of winking?!

Hindi pa ako nakapag-iisip nang maayos ay hinila niya ako sa tabi, ang braso ay ipinulupot sa balikat ko. Kahit nagulat ay humarap ako sa camera, pilit na ginagawang natural ang ngiti.

We took a few more shots before we are done. Kahit na pinalilitaw pa ni Tres ang picture sa polaroid ay hindi pa rin humuhupa ang gulat ko.

The thought that Tres winked is a thing that I failed to understand!

He looked regal—and serious, too—so I didn't expect that he is capable of doing such flirty gestures! I know that there's a possibility but the chance of it is too low, but for him to do that?! At such a state?! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin!

There's something in him that felt weird! I don't know why he became playful all of a sudden. Parang kahapon ay hindi siya malungkot.

"Vien, you okay?" he peeked at me while he shook the polaroid.

Humugot ako ng hininga at inabot ang ibinibigay niyang polaroid. "Y-Yes, I'm fine."

His stare lingered at me, the reason why I held my breath. He was serious yet he broke into a smile and shyly looked down as he fiddled with the polaroid.

Why does he keep on smiling?!

Pinakakalma ang paghinga ay sinilip ko ang polaroid picture.

We got around six pictures. He paid for the four extra ones. He was about to extend it around ten shots but I was the one who declined. Muntik pa 'kong makipagtalo kung hindi ko siya nahatak mula roon!

"That's a good shot." Napasinghap ako nang humaplos ang mainit niyang hininga sa pisngi ko. Ang ilong ay nakadikit sa pisngi.

With a fast heartbeat, I took a step sideward. Nakanguso si Tres nang mag-angat ng tingin sa 'kin, mapaglaro ang kan'yang mata.

Kinunotan ko siya ng noo. "You're so close?" I pointed out.

"I know?" he answered in the same tone. Itinagilid niya ang ulo. "Ma ballerine, what's wrong with that? Close naman tayo."

Umiling ako at ibinanat ang kamay nang umamba siyang lumapit. Natatawa niya akong tiningnan, may maliit na ngiti sa labi.

"There's something wrong with you today."

He rose his brow. "Talaga? Masama na bang maging masaya kapag kasama ka?"

Napasinghap ako, hindi alam ang gagawin. Why is this making me flustered all of a sudden!

He chuckled and immediately reached for my free hand. Marahan niya akong hinila papalapit sa kan'ya, may maliit pa rin na ngiti.

"Kanina pa kita nakikitang naglilibot," he said as he looked at our intertwined hands. Itinaas pa niya sa ere, manghang-manghang nakatingin doon. The way how his eyes sparkled showed how he admires our hands. "But I'm too scared."

Nangunot ang noo ko, malakas ang tibok ng puso. "Scared? Why?"

He slightly pouted and looked at me. "It's because you're too intimidating, Lavien. Too overwhelming. It's too much in my hands. Hindi ko na tuloy alam ang gagawin ko. I can't have two things at once, Lav."

The way how his last words sounded hurt me.

"You can have them..." I sincerely said as I looked at him. "Y-You just need to discipline yourself in having both of them."

He slightly nodded; gloom on his face. Bumigat ang dibdib ko dahil sa nakita.

"A-Actually... I have something for you." It was a desperate attempt to lessen the sadness in his eyes. "I-I don't think if you'll like this because-"

"I'll accept anything from my muse," seryoso niyang sabi, direktang nakatingin sa 'kin.

Once again, the domination appeared in his eyes.

I pursed my lips and nodded. Dahan-dahan kong kinalas ang kamay mula sa pagkasasalikop at ipinasok sa loob ng tote bag. Inilabas ko ang kulay itim na box at iniabot kay Tres, nanginginig ang kamay.

His eyes sparkled when he carefully received it. The way how it sparkled reminded me of his passion-filled state.

He gave me a glance, the light in his eyes.

"What's this, Vien?" he asked, hopeful. Hindi pa rin niya binubuksan ang kahon.

Pinilit ko ang sariling magsalita kahit malakas ang kabog ng dibdib. I'm scared of what his reaction will be.

"I-I don't think you'll like-"

"Lavien," he called, serious. "I told you, I'll accept anything from my muse."

Pinipigilan ang sariling magsalita pa ay tahimik akong tumango. Nanatili ang tingin niya sa 'kin bago tuluyang buksan ang regalo ko. Nang tuluyang makita ang loob ay hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman.

There were a lot of emotions in his eyes. The way how his face molded those emotions made me feel anxious about his reaction.

Will he be hurt? Will he appreciate it? Will he like it even though it's from the league that he left?

"I-It's-"

"The Creation of Adam," he said breathlessly. Rumahas ang tibok ng puso ko, natatakot sa maririnig.

He faced the box towards me, the white bow seated on the red silk cushion. Halo-halong emosyon ang nasa dibdib ko nang makita ang mukha niya.

But when he smiled and showed how happy he is with what he received...

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin.

"I-It was insensitive of me to give that-"

"No, Vien. Do not put words in my mouth. I love it. Whatever you give me." His eyes sparkled as he continued to look at the white bow I gave. "This is such a wonderful piece. Pwede ko bang suotin 'to?"

Napaawang ang bibig ko. Naramdaman ko ang pamumula ng mukha.

"Y-You don't hate it? I-I mean, it's a classical painting transferred to a bowtie and-"

He sighed and carefully pulled me towards him. He put his other hand at the side of my jaw and tilted my head to meet his gaze.

My heartbeat rose when he gave me a gentle smile. The way how it made me feel gave an unexplainable feeling of warmth.

Titig na titig siya sa 'kin, ang tingin ay palipat-lipat sa mata ko, takot na maubos ang atensyon. Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang panginginig ng kamay ni Tres sa pisngi ko.

He sucked a deep breath. "Listen, Vien. I know I am in a state of uncertainty, but believe me, I will accept whatever you give be it related to my passion or not."

Nagpakawala siya ng malawak na ngiti. "I wonder what you thought of when you saw this bowtie."

"I thought of you-"

Hinalikan niya ang tuktok ng ulo ko, bahagyang humahalakhak. Itinago ko ang maliit na ngiti kahit bahagyang nangangamba. Kahit anong pilit kong itago ay hindi ko makayanang huwag sabihin.

"I am worried-"

"Sabay tayong mangamba," he cut me off. "Saan ka ba nangangamba, Lavien? Sabay tayong mangamba."

The way how he stared at me... it felt exceptional. Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko, rason kung bakit hindi mapigilan ang panunubig ng mata.

"N-Nag-aalala ako k-kasi-"

"Kaya 'wag ka na mangamba dahil sabay tayong mangangamba."

Hindi ko napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha.

He wiped away the lone tear that was a fragment of my sadness, but the way how he stared at me made me feel at ease. It felt as if with him, I should be worried about nothing. That with Tres Lagdameo, you will never worry about anything because he will help you to think about it.

Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang luha ko dahil sa bigat na nararamdaman. His warmth spread at my cheeks with his hands beside my face.

He stared at me; his eyes now watery. His lips started to quiver yet he managed to give me another smile—a smile that rivaled all of the things that I'm worried about.

"Hold me close don't let go fast..." he sang as he changed the lyrics. "The loving that you cast. This is my lovely rose..."

Suminghap ako, iba't ibang emosyon ang nasa dibdib. "T-That's my favorite song, Tres..."

He nodded and placed another kiss on my forehead. Nang tumingin siya sa 'kin ay nginitian ako.

"Ikaw ang kasiguraduhan sa lahat ng pangamba ko."

Tuluyan na akong naiyak at hinila siya sa isang halik.

With that, I knew, that amidst all of the turmoil I felt, he'll be with me as I try to understand what's wrong. That even though what I'm believing in is unrighteous, he'll see what's righteous and that he'll be there to broaden the narrow perspective that I have.

Because with Tres Lagdameo, he'll let me know that what I'm believing in isn't always right. Yet he'll be there, with a smile, guiding me along the path of the righteous and the unrighteous.