ACT SEVENTEEN

THE REBEL PLAY

Hindi ako makatulog nang mahimbing, rason kung bakit napagpasyahan kong mag-practice na lang ng ballet. Since I heard Atlas' words and Tres' arrival happened, confusion made its way towards my beliefs. Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung sino ang paniniwalaan sa kanilang dalawa.

I tried to remove their words because it shouldn't bother me so much that it would render me unable to complete any task.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga kasabay ng pagpikit ng mata. Hinayaan ko ang pagdaloy ng piyesa ng musika sa aking tenga. After I have relaxed under Chopin's, Liszt's, Beethoven's, and Tchaikovsky's symphonies, my attention is brought back to my main goal—ballet.

I retrieved the elastics and the ribbon that I bought and sewed it on the sides of the Pointes. The pink elastics, which complimented the fabric of the shoes, were sewed a little bit forward after I have ensured the tightness I want it to have. I sewed on the pink lace after I have measured how long I want it to be.

I sucked a deep breath and broke my Pointes. The Pointes that the studio gave was made by the same manufacturer I had while I was still dancing to ballet. I remembered how my feet molded perfectly into the company's shoes after I have made the Pointe as comfortable as possible.

I smiled when I remembered how I prepped my shoes before I practice. Though I found it hard to wear it because I'm trying to get back to my previous ankle strength, I have grown accustomed to the bliss the routine has been giving me, the reason why I find it easier to adapt. Must've been the muscle memory continuously working its way towards my aspirations.

Hinampas ko ang dulo ng Pointes sa pader para bahagyang lumambot. The wall's made of concrete, the reason why I wasn't bothered if ever the sounds would disturb the other. I broke the box—which is the hard casing around the shoes—because it's still new, and when it's new, it's tough and hard to work on. I even stepped on the vamp—which covers the top of the shoes and feet—where I wanted it to be loose.

I smiled after I heard the familiar and satisfying cracks.

With the shank—which is the arc support for the shoes and my feet, of course—I bent it so it would be much easier to bend my foot. Iniisip ko pa lang na makikita ni Annika ang ginagawa kong pagsira sa sapatos, natatawa na lang ako.

I think she'd find this prepping ridiculous! She'll ask the reason why I kept on breaking my shoes and I know that I'll laugh at her because I saw myself.

Naaalala ko ang unang beses na sinira ni Mommy ang Pointes niya. Little Lavien Rosette screamed in shock, confused on why her mother is breaking the newly-bought shoes. The Prima Ballerina Ariadne Felix only laughed at me and explained that ballerinas do this so the feet could easily arch and work on its way towards the shoes. Because, as a ballerina, one of the most important things is how malleable the shoes would be.

The Pointes is considered as the soul of the form. When a ballerina isn't comfortable with the pair she's using while dancing, it would greatly affect her performance. It would also hinder the symphony that she is trying to achieve, the reason why it is important for the shoes to perfectly fit the dancer's feet.

I put on gels on both of my big toes to lessen the pressure because I'll be standing on it within the duration of my practice. Nagsuot din ako ng toe pads para hindi gaanong ma-pressure ang iba pang daliri sa paa.

I slid my feet inside the Pointes and tied the elastics above my ankle. Sinigurado kong hindi nadamay ang parteng 'yon dahil kung babagsak ay mababalian ako.

The study table that the College provided was, luckily, the same height of the ballet bar that I've been using at the studio. I practiced demi pliés using my Pointe. The demi is performed by turning the feet out, and gently bending the knees, holding it for a few seconds, before slowly returning back to the previous position.

Tuluyan akong humarap sa study table at paulit-ulit na tumingkayad sa platform ng Pointes para masanay ang sarili. When I felt that I was ready to go, I tried balloné en pointe while dancing to Giselle, Act 1, variation by Svetlana Zakharova, one of the ballerinas that I look up to.

Using the platform which is the flat end of the tip of the shoes, I stood on my left feet and beat my right leg into the air back-and-forth, following the strikes of the notes of the piece. Zakharova's variation was around 32 beats, but I only made it up to 16. Pagkatapos no'n ay ipinahinga ko ang paa dahil sa pwersang iniatas sa paa.

The strength of my ankle isn't back to its original state, the reason why I didn't force myself to do another half. Worse, it could break my feet.

Napangiti ako nang maramdaman ang pamilyar na pagbabalik ng ballet sa katawan. I just hope that I wouldn't hold onto this routine so hard that I'll be unable to let this feeling go.

Throughout my night, I tried other exercises to enhance my ankle strength and improve my body's endurance. Hindi ko na inabala pa ang sarili sa isasagawang magazine photoshoot dahil naayos ko na ang lahat. But I was glad that amidst all the confusions that I encountered yesterday; I was still able to convince myself to focus.

I wasn't much of a multi-tasker because I want to focus on a project before I move to the other. I realized that I was much more effective on focusing on one rather than drawing my attention on both projects. When focused, I could effectively enhance its excellence and the outcome would be much more pleasing for myself.

With a satisfied aspiration, I finally felt the satisfaction that I deprived myself from. That night, I found sleeping so magical.

❦

My morning was peaceful, not until I reached the dining hall for breakfast. Though it felt like my body's going to give up with the soreness it's feeling, I tried my best to drag myself away from my bed. I didn't bother checking the notifications in my phone as I went down.

I was... too busy. Too emerged with the happiness that I found in the numbness and soreness all throughout my body, the reason why I was unable to see the commotion filling the air.

After occupying my assigned seat, I saw Annika looking at her phone with her furrowed brows and conflicted face. Kinulbit ko siya, nagtataka sa inaakto. She raised her attention to me and shook her head and shrugged.

She pointed at my phone. "Check it."

Confused, I turned on my phone and saw countless notifications coming from the Hierarchy Lounge. Nang iniikot ko ang tingin sa paligid, napansin kong halos lahat ay sa cellphone nakatuon ang atensyon. At usual days, the students would pour around five to ten minutes before eight o'clock. It's twenty minutes before eight and the hall is almost packed.

What is the issue?

I decided to peek at the Lounge's site. Hindi ko mapigilang magulat sa nakita. I clicked on the post that has been liked, replied, and engaged for a number of times.

@webleedforRAN

RAN CRAZE

This event is exclusively reserved for Royal Colleges for the Arts' students of the Main Branch.

But what is this craze about? Simple. If anyone of you knows who the painter is behind the infamous rebel painter with a pen name of RAN, you are entitled to receive a $5,000 worth of art supplies of your choice. May it be imported from Asia, Europe, Australia, please choose as you please. On whatever part of the world!

If proven legitimate, tell your desires and we will make it happen for you.

Who doesn't want a $5,000 worth of art supplies, huh?

Happy Crazing.

"What's this?" I asked, confused on what I read. Pinost 'to kagabi? By whom? And why are they invested to RAN? Did the painter offend them or some sort?

"An anonymous post. Hindi naman pwede 'yon sa site. Naka-register ang accounts natin sa student info. Paano nila nagawa 'yon? Lagot na naman 'yan."

I leaned back on my seat. Umiling ako. "Why would they do this? I don't get the point!"

Annika nodded at me and roamed her eyes around the area. Maingay pa rin dahil sa pinost sa Lounge. They're all going crazy about this issue! Why would they believe such anonymous post?

"Who is able to gain access to the site? It's not only the students, right?"

Napatingin siya sa 'kin. "Pati staffs. Faculty! Kung walang student na gagawa nito, baka ang Dean? Or other higher officials?"

"The Dean?" I asked. "I don't think so... but with that money? The dollars? But almost all of the students are politicians' children." Napabuntong-hininga muli ako.

"Iyon nga e. Lahat ng anak ng politiko ay may kakayahang gawin 'to. They have the power and the influence! Lavien, what do you think? Which one of the students?" tanong niya, bahagyang hininaan ang boses, pinasingkit ang mata, at inikot ang tingin sa paligid. "Let's be detectives!"

Natatawa akong umiling sa kan'ya. "As much as it bothers me, no, sorry. I don't want to get involved. How sure are they that this user would give them that worth of art supplies?"

She made a face and nodded at me. "Oo nga no! Hindi ko naisip 'yon. Guess I'll just eat my heart out during this breakfast."

When the breakfast was served, the noisiness faded to silence. I started to eat in peace and refrained myself from exhausting my thoughts about this issue. But Annika is so eager with this topic, the reason why I found myself drawn into it.

"Pero maraming anti-art movements," she said after we finished eating.

We walked away from the hall and spent our time outside. Isang oras pa bago magsimula ang klase kaya hindi ko muna inabala ang sarili tungkol do'n. Inikot ko na lang muli ang tingin sa paligid kung saan berde ang kulay na nangingibabaw sa lahat.

Annika took a seat at the grass and put out her sketchbook. "Mema lang 'tong sketch. Baka makita ng Dean."

Itinagilid ko ang ulo at kunot-noong tumingin sa kan'ya. "Who told you about the Dean?"

She shrugged. "Zoren ba 'yon? Ewan."

Napaatras ako ng ulo mula sa pagtingin sa sketchbook niya. "Okay..."

I'm still conflicted whether I should still include Zoren in my list or not. I mean, I'm not yet accepting Atlas' claim that he's RAN because it's too obvious! If someone were to claim that he's the rebel against this act, he should've known the weight of this issue. If so, he wouldn't hide in a façade that's so obvious.

But if it really is Zoren, what does he want to prove? And how does he know even though it seems like Atlas was the one who's the root of all these? Sa kanilang dalawa ni Atlas, si Atlas ang madalas na pinatatawag ng Dean.

Or is it really Atlas? He has been aggressively showing me hints since then. He was also the one who introduced me to this rebel painter. Surely, it really must be him. Nagulat lang siguro ako sa dating ni Zoren, rason kung bakit itinuon ko sa kan'ya ang bintang.

But I can't find it in my heart to trust in his words. The strongest evidence I have against my trust against him is the lie he retrieved. He claimed that he saw my name in the list yet, later on, confessed that my name wasn't even in the list.

It could be another painter. It could be someone from their class. Or it couldn't be taking the same course. The painter might be taking Visual Communication, Sculpture, Fashion Design, Ballet, or Opera. There are a lot of students who could possibly be RAN. Their anger towards the government's treatment regarding to art should be the key point of their identification.

Pero sa mga taong nakasasalamuha ko, si Atlas pa lang ang may galit tungkol sa gobyerno. He's being transparent with his anger. With RAN's reason regarding his rebellion and his works with anger as its subject, it is very evident that Atlas is the rebel painter, RAN. And he didn't even bother himself denying it at the event!

Ang tanong, bakit?

"Alam mo ba, amused ako sa mga ibang estudyante rito. Anak ng politiko, anak ng abogado, anak ng doktor, anak ng artista. Iba't iba! Ang naka-gu-gulat nga lang ay 'yong anak ng senador tapos anak ng Vice President ng Pilipinas. Magugulat pa ba 'ko kung mag-e-enroll dito 'yung anak ng Presidente?"

Napakunot ako ng noo at napaharap sa kan'ya. "Anak ng Vice President?"

Ngumiwi siya sa 'kin at umiling. She sighed and closed her sketchbook. "Gosh! Si Atlas! Akala ko alam mo kasi pansin ko madalas kayong magkasama."

Atlas is the son of Vice President Corazon Salvador? Is his anger towards the government darted to his mother?

"Is he... I mean, what's his relationship with his mother?"

"Wala akong gaanong naririnig, e. Sa father lang niya. Pero kasi, isipin mo anak ka ng Vice President. Ang hirap na trabaho 'yon! Baka hindi napagtutuonan ng pansin si Atlas kaya gano'n umakto."

"Is that... real?" Napatitig siya sa 'kin, naguguluhan sa tanong ko. "When the parents are not around, the child would be like that? Slightly... unrighteous."

Ngumuso siya bago nagkibit-balikat. "Depende sa magulang tapos sa attitude ng anak. Tingnan mo naman kasi si Atlas. Alam kong napapansin mo na lagi siyang pinatatawag ng Dean!" Itinagilid niya ang ulo. "What do you think? Baka siya si RAN, 'no? Kapag pinatatawag kasi, laging galit!"

Annika's believing that he's RAN and the background that she's telling me is an evidence to strengthen the truth. His anger to the government, his painting skills, and his strength to paint RAN's signature in public!

If so, why does he wants to reveal himself in that way? Kasi naniniwala siyang kaya siyang protektahan ng nanay niya?

Confused, we left the field and attended our first class for the day. Inokupa namin ang nakasanayang pwesto at tahimik na nakinig sa tinuturo. I tried my best not to drift away from the words the Head Designer's been teaching.

"Today, we'll have a brainstorming regarding pre-launching events. Who wants to go first?"

A student who has her hair dyed brown with a light blonde highlight raised her hands. She stood up and straightened the silver-sequins dress that she was wearing. Napansin ko pa ang pagngiwi ng Head Designer nang makita kung gaano kakintab ang suot niya.

"The pre-launching events are too time-consuming. It's a waste of fabric, for me ha. Tapos laging may pre-order! I mean, I don't get the sense. Tapos kapag hindi nabili 'yung damit, matatambak lang. Minsan nga lang, ni-rereuse 'yung damit afterwards. Sayang sa textile!"

The Head nodded. "Okay. I get where you're coming from pero your idea's kind of vague. Next?"

Annika nudged me but I shook my head. I wasn't up for this brainstorming. Not when my mind is occupied.

May isa muling nagtaas ng kamay. Her hair is dyed bright red and she has this overlined black eyeliner around her face accompanied by her black lipstick. She also has a piercing at her eyebrows.

"Kilala ko 'yan!" bulong ni Annika sa likod. "Parang kahapon lang ang ganda ng terno niya ng damit. Tapos ngayon black outfit."

"Ay, phase niya 'yon! Pumipili talaga siya ng random na araw para isuot 'yan," bulong ng kausap ni Annika.

Ngumiwi muli ang Head. "Your choice of color is exceptionally..."

"Wise, Ma'am?" the girl asked, hopeful.

The Head blinked and nodded. Parang napipilitan pa sa pagsang-ayon. "Why, yes! Okay, go on."

"Pre-launching events are not beneficial. Kung may babaguhin 'man po ako, I want to push genderless clothing. Hindi lang niya ipo-promote ang unity, kun'di ma-le-lessen din ang paggamit ng tela. Sayang din po kasi dahil kalimitan ay one-wear-throw palagi. Hindi 'man lang nagagamit sa kabuoang life span ng damit."

The Head nodded, satisfied with what she heard. Maaliwalas siya nang pinaupo ang estudyante. Nagpatuloy siya sa pag-di-discuss at pinilit ko ang sariling makinig. Sa kalagitnaan ng pagtuturo niya ay may nahagip ang tingin ko.

I squinted my eyes towards the wide window of the Couture Room and sighted a group of people rebelling inside the premises. Bitbit nila ang pamilyar na karatula na gawa ng Assembly. Pinipigilan silang pumasok ng mga staffs pero ang ilang estudyante ay nagtulakan, rason kung bakit mas dumami pa ang nakapasok sa loob.

This building is a little bit far from the main gate, but upon seeing their cluster, I knew that there are a lot more. Nagkataon lang siguro na nagsitakbuhan ang ilan patungo sa direksyon na 'to.

Nang ginamit nila ang megaphone ay tsaka nakuha ang atensyon ng mga tao. The echo coming from the instrument managed to bypass the Couture's walls.

"Magandang araw! Kami po ay taga-AEASR at nais naming ipabatid ang mensaheng magkakaroon po tayo ng pagupulong sa-"

The device created feedback. Napangiwi ang ilan. Pati ang Head ay nagulantang sa narinig.

"Ma'am, may nagwewelga po ulit."

Horrified, the Head shook her head. Nanlalaki ang mata niya at naka-awang ang bibig. Salat-salat niya ang dibdib. "That is exceptionally terrifying! The rallies keep on occurring! I think it's about the Craze!"

Napatingin ako sa kan'ya. The Head looks shocked after she realized what she said.

"What I mean is—class dismissed! I can't take this," she said and stormed off.

The doors created a loud sound when she closed it. I firmly closed my eyes, taken aback from the sound. Pinanatili ko ang tingin sa pinto habang pinakikiramdaman ang gagawin ng iba. I'm not sure if they want to leave, but if they do, they shall do it fast. I have a person to talk to.

When I got a sign of their attempt of disappearance, I immediately fixed my things. Inihanda ko ang sarili sa pagtungo sa building ng Painting and Sculpture. Dinaluhan ako ni Annika ngunit hindi ako nasundan sa bilis ng paglalakad ko.

If it would take me a lot of time just to search for Atlas around this building, I wouldn't mind it! If my hunch is true, Atlas is the suspect for starting this RAN Craze and he allowed the rebels to do what they want at the College considering that he's a part of the Assembly!

The AEASR supports RAN. RAN is Atlas. Atlas is the son of the Vice President of the Philippines. All of those factors made him untouchable, the reason why the government couldn't put the painter behind the bars. But considering that RAN took down the former President Alejandro Joaquin, RAN should be older than me. If that's the case, Atlas isn't around my age. He's drifting between the late twenties to mid-thirties. He doesn't even look twenty-eight!

I peeked from Hall to Hall to see if there were any signs of his presence but there were none. Ang ibang Hall ay walang nagkaklase. If so, where could he possibly be?

Ang mga nadaraanan kong estudyante ay napapatingin sa ilang mga taga-Assembly na napapadpad kung nasaan 'man sila. The members always have their flyers and are distributing it around.

"No, sorry," I politely rejected when one of them gave me one. Natuto na ako sa sinabi ni Tres.

Stressed out, I tried my best to find him at the Suite le Passion. Sa ilang beses na pagpunta ko, doon ko siya madalas na nakikita. Though I don't know Atlas' schedule, there's a part of me that's believing that he could possibly be here. If not, then I'll look around outside. Mukhang pinamamahalaan niya ang rebelyon.

Humugot ako ng hininga nang makita ang ulo ni Atlas. Didiretso na sana ako ngunit nahagip ng aking tingin si Zoren at Annika sa isang lamesa. Napansin ni Zoren ang tingin ko, dahilan kung bakit nanlaki ang mata niya. He panicked and lightly tapped Annika's shoulders.

Annika looked at me, unbothered with what's happening. Hawak pa niya ang sketchbook dahil inii-sketch niya si... Zoren?

"Oh, Lavien. Ano ginagawa mo rito?" she asked beside the flustered Zoren. Namumula pa ang tenga ni Zoren!

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit. "Um..." I shrugged and pointed at the guy beside him. "Zoren?"

She nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah, nagpapa-sketch. Nagpapaturo ng bagong technique kasi hindi raw siya tinuturuan ni Tres ng bagong style."

Inilipat ko ang tingin kay Atlas na nakatingin din sa 'kin. Nginisian pa 'ko.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa dalawa. "All right. I'll leave the two of you there. Enjoy!" Nag-iwan ako ng ngiti at dumiretso kay Atlas.

The rebel painter sat comfortably at the single couch! His arms are sprawled against the couch's rest. Parang wala lang sa kan'ya ang nangyayari!

"How old are you, Atlas?" bungad ko sa kan'ya.

Shocked, he retreated from his comfort and crossed his arms. "Anong klaseng tanong 'yan? Ka-age lang kita, Lavien. Gusto mo ng birth certificate ko? Gusto mo samahan pa kita sa PSA Office para masabi mong hindi ako nagsisinungaling?"

Mariin kong ipinikit ang mata. Patience. I need to remember that I need to have patience.

"Why did you allowed the Assembly to be inside the premises?"

Ngumiwi siya. "Tangina talaga," hindi niya makapaniwalang sabi. "Hindi ko alam kung may nawala bang tornilyo r'yan sa utak mo. Seryoso ka sa pinagsasabi mo? Pinapasok ko ang mga nag-ra-rally? Tangina, hindi ko gagawin 'yon."

I smiled at him as I tried to calm myself. "All right. You don't want to talk about your connection to the Assembly. Then answer this: why did you start the RAN Craze? Baliw ka ba?"

He snickered at my attempt. Nawawalan ng pasensiya ay humalukipkip ako habang nakatayo sa harap niya.

"Sabi na nga ba... bakit ako agad ang nilapitan mo?" dinilaan niya ang ibabang labi. "Ni kusing wala akong alam d'yan! Malay mo si Tres 'yon. Hindi por que suportado ng Assembly si RAN ako na agad nagpapasok sa mga 'yon. Nagpapatawa ka talaga. Hindi ko hawak ang security ng RCA. Hindi ako gwardya."

Nagpakawala muli ako ng hininga, nagtitimpi. "Between the son of the Senator and the son of the Vice President of the country, I'm sure that you have greater influence than the Senator's son." Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. "I'm sorry but I don't want to pry into this mess even more. I just want out."

He looked at me unbelievably. Inayos niya ang nakakalat na gamit sa lamesa at dumekwatro. Ipinatong niya ang isang siko sa arm rest at inaagrabyado akong tiningnan. Nakita ko pa ang pag-irap niya.

"Sige, ganito na lang-"

"Mr. Salvador and Ms. Sevilja, to the Dean's office. Now."

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan at napalingon sa kaliwa kung saan nanggaling ang boses. Horrified, I stared at the Dean who stiffly looked at me. She spun her body around and let the sound of her heels tick my nervousness to death.

I'm... I'm being called to the Dean's office! I can't believe this. Because of my affiliation to Atlas? Sabi na nga ba! When Atlas told me that I got involved the first moment I talked to a painter, he's referring to himself! Never in my whole life that I wanted to be called by the Dean for disciplinary actions.

This is completely out of hand! I need to get out of this mess.

Hindi na nagulat pa si Atlas at hinatak ako patungo sa direksyong tinatahak ng Dean. Sinubukan kong alisin ang higpit ng kamay niya ngunit lalo niyang hinihigpitan. Kahit nasasaktan ay tahimik na lang akong sumunod.

When we reached the Dean's office, I silently sat in front of her. As much as I want to defend myself and tell her that I am not one of Atlantis Salvador's accomplice, I let righteousness reign on me. When it is not yet my time to speak, I won't speak. I'll treat this as if 'every word that I'll say can be used against me'.

Like a lawyer it is. Like a crime this is.

"Miss Sevilja," she said, authority laced her voice. "You have clean records. Straight As. A model student. A previous ballerina, too. But what made you give up those just to- just to rebel?"

Humugot at nagpakawala ako ng hininga, kinakalma ang sarili. "Ma'am, I am talking to him about a project. I'm taking an additional Painting Class for my Color Harmony."

"A project, I see. About rebellion?" she pried.

"No, Ma'am, I'm-"

"You see, I am trying my best to create a clean image for the College. Maraming politiko ang umaasa na maayos ang pag-aaral ng kanilang anak sa paaralang ito, that's why I do what I can just to control those rebellions. I even go to the lengths of expulsion to ensure the cleanliness of the name! What the two of you are doing right now is tarnishing the College's image! Ang tangi ko lang magagawa ay i-expel kayong dalawa."

Napasinghap ako at umiling. Pinigilan ko ang pag-iyak. "Ma'am, there must be a misunderstanding."

As much as I want to coerce the strength that I'm feeling right now, I kept on reminding myself that unrighteousness would bring me nowhere. It would only make this talk even more complicated.

She sighed at me, clearly disappointed with what I have done. "Miss Sevilja, I want to know the reason why you're an accomplice to Mister Salvador's rebellion. Bakit niyo sinimulan ang RAN Craze?"

I started to labor my breaths after I found it hard to control my sobs. My tears started to pool at the edge of my eyes and I'm still trying my best to stop it!

This is what I hate—unrighteousness clinging onto my name! I will never, ever accept the words that she's pushing me towards. Hinding-hindi ko magagawa 'yon!

Helpless, I looked at Atlas who only stared at her with hatred. Hindi 'man lang niya naramadaman ang tingin ko.

I returned my pleading gaze to the Dean. "Ma'am, I can't do such thing. My parents disciplined me enough so I could distinguish what's right or wrong. I'm sorry but I don't like rebellions," I defended. Sumisikip na rin ang dibdib ko.

"Okay," she said and nodded. I slightly felt relieved. "How about you, Mister Salvador? Just because your father doesn't want you to pursue art-"

"That is too overboard... Ma'am. You can't drag my family into this," nagtitimpi niyang sabi, masama ang tingin sa Dean. Napansin ko ang pagkuyom ng kamao niyang nakapatong sa armrest.

Sunod-sunod kong inayos ang paghinga para pigilan ang luha. Nang may nakawalang isa ay mabilis kong pinalis. I don't want to act like I'm pitiful! Acting like that isn't helpful because it would only make me look guilty.

"I see." She nodded. "None of you wants to confess with this commotion. However, once you are proven guilty, I'm sorry but I have to expel you."

Kinagat ko ang labi at inayos ang paghinga. Nanatili pa rin ang masamang tingin ni Atlas. Napansin ko pa ang pag-irap niya sa kawalan.

The Dean let us out after a few reminders. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala nang makalabas mula roon.

Everything about this is draining what's left in me! Hindi ako makapapayag na patuloy na mahatak ang pangalan ko pababa dahil kay Atlas. If he doesn't want a lot of things to get even more out of hand, he should confess!

"Atlas," tawag ko. Nagpatuloy siya sa paglalakad. "Atlas!"

I walked towards him in a haste manner. Hinarangan ko ang dinaraanan niya, rason kung bakit pinukol niya ako ng sama ng tingin.

Impatient, he tilted his head upward and shook his head. Pagbaba ay mapanuya na muli ang tingin sa 'kin. "Anak ng... sige. Anong gusto mong itanong? O baka naman gusto mo akong pagtawanan dahil pinipilit akong mag-politika pero nandito ako sa magulong eskwelahan na 'to? Sige, sasabihin ko. My father doesn't want me to pursue art because for him, art is too trashy. Art is useless. Hindi raw ako magkakaroon ng maraming pera sa pagpipinta."

Pagak siyang natawa at umiling.

"Tangina lang. Sinasabi ba niyang marami akong perang makukuha sa pagpopolitika? Paano? Mangurakot katulad ng ibang kasama niya ro'n? Kung alam ko lang, ginagamit lang niya si Mama dahil Vice President e."

I looked at his annoyed face. "I'm sorry if that's what happened to you, but I want to let you know that I'm being dragged into this. If only you would confess-"

"Bakit ako aamin sa bagay na hindi ko ginawa?" iritable niyang tanong sa 'kin.

Umawang ang aking bibig. Hindi makapaniwala ko siyang tiningnan. Hindi niya ginawa? I can't believe it!

"Lavien naman. Dito na naman tayo. Wala ka na namang tiwala sa 'kin," saad niya, umiiling-iling.

If only I saw him in a clean slate where I hadn't had the chance to see that he's an Assembly member and is known by the Dean because of his behavior, I would've believed him. But no, I saw the unrighteousness he's been doing.

"I'm sorry, Atlas, but I really, really, want to be out of this mess. As much as you want to gain my trust in this, I can't. Hindi ko na alam kung maniniwala pa ba ako sa sinasabi mo o hindi."

He laughed wickedly. Nawawalan ng pasensiya ay isinuksok niya ang braso sa bulsa. "Hindi mo rin alam ang totoo sa sinasabi ko, 'no?"

I sighed. "Are you like Tres? You're seeking attention?"

Lalo siyang nairita sa tinanong ko at pagak muling humalakhak. "Lavien, I'm so sorry if your—anong tawag d'yan, kabaitan?—desire for justice is like that. Ewan, naaawa ako sa 'yo. Ang kitid-kitid ng utak. Kung sabihin ko 'man sa 'yo ang lahat, maniniwala ka ba?"

I only stared at him because I knew that I won't believe him. He has tarnished the trust that I didn't know that I gave.

"See? Magsabi 'man ako ng katotohanan, itatrato mo 'yong kasinungalingan. Hirap talaga kapag hindi ka pinagkakatiwalaan ng mga taong nasa paligid mo."

He gave me an angered look and bumped me when he walked past me. Kunot-noo kong pinanood ang pigura niyang papalayo nang papalayo sa 'kin.

What is he really up to?