ACT FOURTEEN

GOLDEN FOREFATHERS

It doesn't mean that he has seen me breaking down means that I'll allow his dominion over me—that's the first thing that I thought of after I woke up the next day. But with his unforeseen appearance in front of the VisComm's studio, it seems like Tres thought of otherwise.

He must've believed that I could still be saved from the damnation I'm yearning to uphold. He's wrong. I have disciplined myself to not be swayed from any man of unrighteous intentions. I have learned to have that deed and for him to think that I'd follow his steps, he should've seen better.

I am righteous. I'll uphold my discipline.

"Another pose, Miss!" natatawang sabi ni Elton habang kini-click ang camera.

I posed in a way that is accustomed to the theme of the outfit and the theme of the setup. A few days earlier, I have been asked to pose for Finn's collection. It was one of his requests, saying, "Gusto ko ang mukha mo, Lavien. Pose for me, please? Ang kagandahang 'yan ay hindi dapat tinatago!"

As much as I hated how Finn's acting around me as if we were close, I have no choice but to cooperate with him. After all, cooperation would do me no harm. It would benefit me in the unforeseeable future. I might ask him a few tips or so since he's a year ahead of me.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at umayos muli ng pwesto. Natutuwa naman si Elton sa ginagawa kong pose. Sinasang-ayunan din ni Finn.

"Hindi talaga ako nagkakamali na pinili kitang model!"

Elton, browsing through his camera's gallery, is chuckling as his eyes are focused onto the screen of his device. Umalis ako mula sa pagkapupwesto sa puting bloke at lumapit kay Finn. He gave me two thumbs up.

"And'yan naman si Aila Jung na taga-VisComm din. Si Miss Lavien pa talaga ang inabala mo," natatawang komento ni Elton.

Finn asked me to twirl so he could see the dynamics of the dress from one of his Le Elegance Collection, a collection that is reserved for a black and white high-fashion clothing. He tapped my shoulders that is covered by the black cotton fabric of the mid-thigh length coat. The coat went with a one-button shawl lapel, the reason why the neckline met in the middle of my chest.

"Okay ako kay Aila Jung, kaso nga lang, mas match ang face ni Lavien sa high-fashion theme ng clothing ko. And she has the body of a model!" Finn said, pushing me towards the dressing room. "At tsaka, abala si Aila Jung!"

I changed from Finn's high-fashion clothing into my usual clothing—a simple attire of black turtleneck, skinny jeans, single-strapped heels, and my favorite sand-toned trench coat. After I learned that today is the day where I will pose as one of Finn's models, I felt the need to dress as if I was a model.

Hindi naman problema ang maglakad sa College na naka-trench coat at turtleneck. In the past days, the weather has been nice. It's cool enough for my outfit to pass.

Pagkalabas ko mula sa dressing room ay nakita ko ang pag-aayos ni Elton ng man bun niya. Finn was sitting at the studio's computer while browsing some of my shots. I went near them, about to ask if I was okay to leave.

"Ang galing mo talaga mag-pose! Nagmomodel ka ba rati?" he asked, spinning his attention towards me.

I smiled at him. I didn't bother myself telling that I was a ballerina before because that event is soon to be forgotten. Might as well begin its disappearance now.

A light tap appeared on my shoulder. Elton was the man behind it. He peeked at me through his marvelous yet curious eyes. He played with the cuff chain adorned on his ears. "Alis ka na?"

I eyed him curiously, confused about why he's asking me such personal question. Though the words were harmless, I couldn't find it in myself to treat it like that. Nasanay ako na tuwing may kausap na hindi gaanong kilala ay nakikipag-debate. Must've Tres' doings.

I couldn't help gritting my teeth. Kailangan na talagang umalis ni Tres mula sa ginagawa ko.

But as I have decided to exclude him from my routines, it was his nosiness that caused his appearance at the door of the VisComm's photography studio. Lumagpas ang tingin ko kay Elton at napunta sa tahimik na Tres na nakatayo sa likod. Elton traced my line of sight, the reason why he turned his head around and peeked at the newcomer.

With a grin, he went to the rebel painter, aggressively throwing his tattooed arm on the Golden Boy's shoulders. "Uy, Golden Boy, pare! Ano sadya mo rito?"

Tres nurtured his glance at me while I averted and returned my attention towards Finn's interest in the picture displayed at the desktop. Komento nang komento siya tungkol sa ginawa kong trabaho. He said that he's very, very happy that he did the right thing on scouting me as his model.

"I'm sorry if I look awkward towards the camera."

Finn beamed a smile towards me. "No, sweetie! Mahusay nga ang projection mo, ano ka ba? Elton's a good photographer, too! Kuhang-kuha niya ang fierceness mo gamit ang camera niya." He peeked his head from the gap to glance at his friend. "Elton! Next magazine ulit, ha? Lavien, ikaw ulit?"

I smiled at him, said my thanks, and prepared to leave. Kinuha ko ang sling bag na nakapwesto sa gilid at nagtungo sa exit. When I walked past Elton and Tres, I could hear Elton talking about his attraction towards tattoos.

"At itong ahas na tattoo ko ay simbolo ng rebirth! Golden Boy, nakikinig ka ba?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

I calmly treated Tres' words as harmless. He's leaving. I'm sure that he's not going to follow me!

I have my next class thirty minutes from now. Kung tatambay ako ay sa Couture Room na lang dahil sigurado akong hindi makasusunod si Tres do'n—if ever he was following me.

"Lavien-"

I swished his hand away due to shock. I sucked a deep breath after turning my body towards him. He looked at me in shock. "I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that. I was shocked."

As much as I hate his presence, I know too well when to act politely or not. I have been long to be taught with the principles and disciplines of ballet. It wouldn't hurt me a lot if I'll continue a part of it, at least.

Pumirmi si Tres mula sa kinatatayuan niya. His dark eyes are set on the hand whose dominion I abandoned. I knew that he couldn't stare at me. Once he set his eyes on me once again, disbelief would be easily displayed while he's on it.

"May itatanong lang ako. Hindi mo kailangang mambalibag ng kamay," seryoso niyang sabi.

There. The debate that I'm asking for earlier. Why can't I speak?

"I'm... sorry."

My discipline told me not to argue any further—it would only harm me. I gave him a polite smile and turned my back. Hindi na siya sumunod pa.

❦

It was easy for me to abandon his presence because it wasn't enough for me to notice it. For the past few months, he has easily declared his dominion over me—his unrighteousness over my righteousness. I'm fearing that as long as I would encounter his beliefs, I would be lulled into a trap. That's the last thing that I'll ever want—to be pulled away from my beliefs. Parang hindi ko kakayanin 'yon.

To fully convince and discipline myself away from the passion I once loved, I searched for an article that would do its job. Pointe Magazine's article was the one that did it. I even forced myself to read the article at the Suite le Passion, one of the College's facilities that I hate. 

Am I that desperate?

Miko Fogarty, one of the ballerinas that I look up to before, talked about the loss of her passion for the art she once loved. Fogarty said that she felt like that ballet wasn't the career that she imagined herself doing for much longer.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapasinghap habang nagbabasa. At this point in time, am I convincing myself that I should go abandon ballet? Or am I just seeking for similarities with other ballerinas? That I am not a wrong case and that it happens? Nagkataon nga lang na malalim ang rason ko para hindi na mag-ballet... but could it be that she has deeper reasons other than that?

I couldn't think of it anymore. I think I'm starting to lose myself.

Mariin kong ipinikit ang mata. I'm trying my best to be righteous with the path I'm taking on. I'm trying my best to understand that no matter how many articles I read about that matter, I would always end up with this: abandon ballet for the sake of my family's happiness.

Ballet was the one who destroyed the relationship that we built. I couldn't find it in my righteousness to allow myself to be with that forbidden love. Hindi ko na kayang saktan pa si Mommy. 

All throughout her life with my father, I knew she was happy. She was happier when she had me. But after the incident that took my father's life, I knew it put a lot of toll in our relationship, the reason why I'm holding onto this line of discipline that I'm trying to uphold. That no matter how hurt I felt, I'll always hold onto that path.

I couldn't risk losing anyone anymore. Nawala na sa 'kin si Daddy. Nawala na sa 'kin ang ballet. Hindi ako papayag na mawala rin sa 'kin si Mommy. My family over my passion. They have sacrificed a lot for me. This is the least that I could sacrifice for them.

Umalis ako mula sa Suite at nagpunta sa fountain. The chilly air waved past me as I trod my way towards the attraction that is memorable towards the revolution. It is the place where I first saw—the closest that I could ever get so far—the eagerness across the rallyists' faces. It is within that span that I could feel the rage they have for the government.

I couldn't fit it in my mind on why I am starting to understand them.

Did he already turn his dominion over me?

Suminghap ako at binilisan ang lakad patungo sa fountain. Hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko ang makukulay na buhok ng mga ilang estudyante ng RCA. Almost half of the student's population have their hair dyed either in natural colors or in striking and complex colors.

One of the students has her hair colored violet and green. Her bangs whose length follows a horizontal steep. Hindi siya straight line! The longest of her bangs are at the side of her right eyes while the shortest is a few inches above her left eyebrow. I had the chance to intake her appearance because of its impact.

I smiled at her when I come across her gaze. She was busy painting the black background of the mural she was working on. I even saw the figure of Tres' friend, Zoren, who—to my dismay—happened to notice that I was passing by. Inabandona niya ang pagtulong sa pagpipinta ng itim at patakbong lumapit sa 'kin.

With his cheery smile, he greeted me. "Hi, Vien!"

I stopped walking and politely smiled at him. Nagtaka si Zoren sa ginawa ko kaya napakamot sa ulo. I know he is curious about why I am acting so polite and distant towards him when he didn't even do anything wrong.

"Hindi ka na sumasama sa painting classes, ha. Iiwan mo rin ako sa ere? Ang lungkot-lungkot ko kaya dahil si Atlas ang palagi kong kasama! Wala si Tres."

I knitted my brows. "Wala si... Tres?"

He mocked my reaction. He even imitated it. "Palibhasa kasi, hindi ka uma-attend!" panunumbat niya.

"I was busy with my portfolio, sorry."

Ngumuso siya at kinamot naman ang pisngi. I eyed how the black paint transferred to his cheeks. Tinuro ko 'yon at nagtataka niyang tiningnan. Kunot-noo ay pinahid niya gamit ang likod ng kamay. He almost screamed when he saw that there was paint on his cheeks.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

As much as possible, I try to lessen my interactions with Tres and his friends. Wala namang atraso sa 'kin si Zoren, nagkataon lang na konektado siya kay Tres. 

With the attention that the Assembly is getting both from the College and the public, I'm fearing that there would be a slight chance where Tres' words would come true. And if ever it would happen, I precautioned myself to distance from them.

I wasn't lying when I told him that I was busy with my portfolio. I also had a lot of readings about Art History. I'm memorizing fashion designing terms so I could effectively use it while creating an outfit. Lately, my Google search history has become entries of "what do you call the ruffles at the end of the cuffs" or "low necklines another term". Pero noong nagpunta ako sa The Cushion, bumili ako ng libro tungkol sa fashion design. It helped me a lot.

"Charan! Art Mural!" he showed me a sketch of what they're going to do. "Black muna 'yung base tapos magkakaroon dito ng apoy. May karatula rin dito tapos..." Zoren enthusiastically continued to blabber the description of their hasty sketch.

My attention landed on the sketch that he showed me. There were scribbles and arrows regarding the paints to be used. Nakalagay rin ang mismong code ng pinturang gagamitin pati na rin ang materyales.

"What's the mural's theme? Collaborative project ba?" I asked, my eyes still on the sketch he was telling about. Nakaturo ang hintuturo niya sa building na nasa gitna. It resembles a Regional Trial Court. 

Nangunot ang noo ko. The concept's similar to RAN's The Affair.  Napalipat ang tingin ko sa kan'ya nang nginitian ako.

"Rebellion," nakangisi niyang sabi habang direktang nakatitig sa 'king mata.

I sucked in a breath. Could he possibly be...

No. It would be impossible for a man of that joy to be capable of housing anger.

"Seryoso, hindi nagsabi si Tres sa 'yo? Malaki pa naman naitutulong niya sa mga murals. Ang bilis no'n magpinta!"

Some of his words didn't reach my mind. It has been clouded by judgment. Hindi rin mawala sa isip ko na posibleng interesado si Zoren sa rebelyon mula ng pag-uusap nila noon.

Tres and his friends... could they possibly be a part of the Assembly? All of them? They look so passionate. They are even artistically-inclined! With the strength of their passion—especially with the strength of Tres' words—I know that there would be a possibility for them to join the Assembly.

And with Zoren leading them? Zoren as RAN? Hindi talaga mapagkakamalang si Zoren dahil mukha siyang walang galit sa mundo.

Once innocence is oppressed, it would turn into danger.

Nanatili pa rin ang titig ko sa maliwanag niyang ngiti. My judgment continued to cloud my mind as it sinks deeper into the thought of unrighteousness. What could possibly be hidden from his bright smiles?

"What's your name, Zoren?" I asked, hoping he couldn't see through my suspicions.

He made a face, again, before he sighed dramatically. "I have never felt so appreciated," dramatikong sabi niya. "Johannes Zoren Moreau Valdellon, bakit? Aangal ka? Aawayin mo 'ko dahil tatlo pangalan ko at dalawa lang sa 'yo?"

"Kasi-"

"Oy, 'wag na magdaldalan."

Naagaw ng atensyon ko ang maangas na tawag ni Atlas. Suot ang tie-dye na muscle shirt at itim na pantalon, iritable niyang hinakbang ang sapatos sa damuhan patungo sa direksyon namin.

Atlas' conniving eyes glanced at me. Wearing his signature smirk, I knew to myself that he's up to no good. I might've abandoned my discipline in refraining myself from judging their appearance but his eyes say otherwise. Hindi ko mapigilang iyon ang tingin sa kan'ya. 

The way how he carried himself in pure misery. Even the disarray of his disheveled dark blonde and brown hair shows how unrighteous he is!

He tapped Zoren's back. Ngumiwi si Zoren at sumaludo muna bago bumalik sa tinatrabahong mural. They have already finished putting the black base.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" maangas na tanong ni Atlas.

I eyed him. I was about to take my leave but he grabbed my arm. Napunta roon ang tingin ko. Mabilis niyang pinakawalan. Ang hawak niya ay nag-iwan ng itim na marka.

"Shit," bulong niya at ibinalik muli ang mas maruming kamay. My eyes grew wide, shocked at what he did. I was about to complain but he dragged me away from their space. "Babalik ako!" sigaw niya sa mga kagrupo.

"Why are you-"

"Sumunod ka na lang."

I got forcibly dragged towards the room where the painters store some of their stocks. The room is way too far from the mural that they are working on, the reason why I was catching some of my breath. When he opened the door, the strong smell of paint thinner and other materials irked my nose. Parang lalo akong kinapos ng hininga.

Napabitaw si Atlas mula sa pagkahahawak sa 'kin nang mapaatras ako sa amoy. He hissed at me before turning on the lights. He rummaged through the storage and found himself a piece of cloth. He grabbed a bottle of thinner and transferred some of its contents on the cloth that he has.

Hinila niya ang braso ko at pinunasan ang pwestong hinawakan niya gamit ang thinner. Ang matapang na amoy ang lalong nagpairita sa 'kin.

"Please don't clean it here. Ang tapang ng amoy," I politely asked.

He glared at me and pulled my arm towards him. "'Wag ka ngang maarte."

I watched him how he carefully removed the paint from my arms. Ang isang braso ay mas mapintura kaysa sa kabila, rason kung bakit mas natagalan siya sa kanan. 

Binabalot na ako ng amoy ng thinner at hindi ko nagugustuhan 'yon. It's too strong for my liking!

"I'm not used to it-"

"Reklamadora." He peeked at me from his intense gaze at my arm.

Itinagilid ko ang ulo palayo sa braso at humugot ng malalim na hininga. Whatever Atlas' intention on putting paint on my arm, forcibly dragging me here, and cleaning the mess he did is out of my mind's ability to comprehend.

Ang tunog ng pagkuskos niya ng tela sa aking braso ang pumailanlang sa aking tenga. He put another batch of thinner on the cloth he was using before going back on cleaning my arms. 

"Your right hand is way much cleaner than your left. Kaliwete ka?" I asked. 

"Oo na, kasalanan ko na," he said, bitterness leaking from his words.

Kumunot ang noo ko, nagtataka sa sinabi niya. Is he trying to play guilty? 

"I didn't say anything about that. I was pointing out things-"

"Kung hindi kita hinawakan, hindi ka mapupunta rito."

Lalong kumunot ang noo ko. "I wasn't blaming you-"

"Hindi nga," matabang niyang sabi at tuluyan nang tinanggal ang natitirang pintura sa braso. "May sasabihin ka pa?"

I carefully withdrew my arms from his hold, afraid that I might cause another scene similar to Tres'. 

Napakurap ako sa naisip. "No, thank you."

He gave me a look, saying he wasn't convinced. Nanatili ang titig niya hanggang sa mapalitan ng pagkairita ang ekspresyon niya. What is his problem?

His expression got darker. 

I am confused about why he's acting like that yet he gave me no other room but to be annoyed when he transferred paint on my arm. Mas marami kaysa sa nauna. I was about to clean it myself yet he chose to catch my hands!

"Atlas!" I hissed; my patience started to thin. "What are you doing?"

Nanatili ang madilim niyang titig sa 'kin bago hipan ang pinturang bagong lagay. He even had the audacity to use the painting stock!

He tilted his head. "Alam kong may gusto kang itanong. Rebolusyon, tama ba?"

Pinigilan ko ang mapasinghap ngunit inunahan niya 'ko sa pagpansin. He gave me a disappointed look.

"Ayaw kong magsabi sa 'yo tungkol d'yan. Huhusgahan mo lang."

I am convinced that Atlas wants me to drown in the irking scent of the paint thinner when he decided to spread the blob of paint along my arms. Hindi agad ako nakapagreklamo dahil sa masama niyang tingin.

I continued to convince myself that I shouldn't deal with him. Not only because he's a candidate of the Assembly, but he was also countlessly called by the Dean. Being called by the Dean—that alone should have given it away. Pero kung ang isang may kasalanan ay naglalayong itago ang identidad, hindi ba't mas hindi nakapagtataka kung aakto ng kabaliktaran no'n?

What is going on? Possible bang alam ng Dean?

Iniikot ko ang tingin sa loob ng stock room. There were tremendous stocks of big tubs and bottles mostly related to painting. Some piles of scratch clothes were placed nearby, must've been some of our wastes. Pero mula sa nakikita ko dahil sa liwanag ng stock room, cotton at synthetic fibers lang ang kinukuha nila. 

As much as I hated asking him questions about the rebellion because I want to act uninterested, I couldn't help my unrighteousness ask about it. 

"Is it bad to be... narrow-minded?" pikit-mata kong tanong. Dumilat ako pagkatapos.

Hindi maalis sa isipan ko ang sinasabi ni Tres. I hate admitting his dominion over me but sure, this man has his principles etched at the back of my mind. Even without his presence, he could easily infiltrate me with his words.

"Nakasasakit na ba?" tanong niya, nananatili ang tingin sa braso ko. Bahagyang gumagalaw ang buhok niya dahil sa kakaonting hangin dahil sa nakabukas na pinto.

I looked away. "I'm not sure..."

He glared at me. "Kitid ng utak mo."

Pinigilan ko ang sarili na mainis. I'm sure that he's just testing me! 

"I was asking if I was narrow-minded, Atlas. I'm sorry but I'm not asking you to insult me-"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. Hawak-hawak ang braso ko, itinagilid niya ang ulo at ngumiwi. "Makitid nga talaga utak mo. Hindi mo alam kung nakasasakit ka na? Tanga."

I pulled my arm from him but he retracted. Hindi ko magawang samaan siya ng tingin dahil pinipilit ko ang sariling umaktong kalmado. I won't give him the satisfaction of my irritation.

"Iniinsulto mo 'ko," giit ko. "Hindi 'yon sinasagot ang tanong ko."

Tumaas ang isa niyang kilay. "Alin ba sa mga sinabi ko ang hindi mo maintindihan? Mula sa una tayong magkita, tungkol sa Assembly tapos hanggang kay Tres. Alin ba ro'n ang hindi mo maintindihan?"

I opened my mouth to defend myself but to no avail. He could easily express his irritation towards me by tightening his grip on my arm but he didn't. He only expressed it through his conniving eyes! Hindi ko na alam kung paniniwalaan ko pa siya o hindi.

"I get it that Tres is part of the Assembly. You are, too. Ano ang pinagkaiba niyong dalawa? Both of you are fans of RAN!"

"I didn't say that I was," seryoso niyang sabi. "I was against it."

I badly want to tell him all of my frustrations. Lalo akong naguluhan dahil sa pinagsasabi niya. What does he want me to do? What is he plotting to do? Is there a reason why he dragged me and we're caught in this situation?

"Are you asking me to trust you?" hindi ko mapigilang bintang.

As much as I hate pointing my finger towards people, I couldn't help it. The Assembly and this RAN thing have been messing with me so much. Kung hindi lang siguro ako lumapit sa kanila, hindi ako mapupunta rito. 

What have I really gotten myself into? This is a mess that I didn't want to participate in.

Umismid siya. Hindi makapaniwala akong tiningnan. "Ang sama ng tingin mo sa 'kin."

He irritably dropped my arms and left me in the room. Pinulot ko ang nahulog na tela na may thinner at sinundan siya sa labas. He was only leaning at the wall outside the stock room. I continued removing the dried paint on my arms. I'm sure that this would leave a tint.

"I'm confused. Bakit mo 'ko hinatak dito? Are you planning to do something?"

He looks so offended with what I said! I want to apologize but a part of me realized that there's nothing to apologize for. Mariin kong itinago 'yon sa isipan, takot na madumihan ang prinsipyo. I shouldn't be thinking like that!

Atlas firmly closed his eyes. "May sinabi ba si Tres sa 'yo?" nagtitimpi niyang tanong.

I continued looking at him, confused. I won't tell him that Tres left me unnerving words before he left.

"What if I told you that the Golden Boy of Royal Colleges for the Arts has an ill-minded father?" he said, but I wasn't able to intake his expression because I have my back on him.

I didn't listen to him back then because I am scared of his dominion. After he talked to me the day after I finished Finn's photoshoot, he didn't leave other traces. Those were his last words to me.

But why? What is he going to do?

"Wala. Wala siyang sinabi sa 'kin." 

I hate lying but I have reconciled that I will lie when the situation calls for it... and I believe that this calls for it. I can't trust him—I'm thinking twice. It's too risky. He's far from being righteous.

"Alam mo ba kung nasa'n siya ngayon?" The lack of my reaction was enough for him to treat it as my answer. "Ah. Bobo."

I pursed my lips, trying to contain my anger. He keeps on calling me names! With Tres, it's easier to talk with. His words were gracious in comparison to the painter who's treating him as a rival. Even though with Tres' debates, I prefer it over Atlas' defaming words.

"Sige, ganito." He looked around and took a step towards me. "Una, naiintindihan mo ba ang sinabi ko tungkol sa Assembly at kay Tres?"

"What are you trying to point out? Na mas magaling ka?"

Umismid siya. Binigyan niya ako ng nanunuyang ngiti. "Woah, Miss FD. Today is not the time to be offended. Babaan mo 'yang pride mo. Lawakan mo 'yang kitid ng utak mo nang maintindihan mo ang sunod kong sasabihin."

Hindi ko alam kung saan na ilalagay pa ang pagtitimpi dahil sa pananalita niya. As much as possible, I tried my best to contain my irritation and anger towards him and his words. There is no room for that in this argument. I'd end up losing. I am sure that I will lose my cool. I hate that. Once I speak out of anger, unrighteousness would keep on bleeding from my mouth.

"What is with Tres? Your anger towards him is so big! Wala siyang atraso sa 'yo. He's not doing anything to you."

"Hindi mo nga talaga maintindihan," naiirita niyang sabi. "Where is the Golden Boy Tres Lagdameo? Bakit wala na siya ngayon? Ilang araw pa lang mula nang dumating ang Assembly pero nawala na agad siya. Natakot ba si Tres sa mga nag-wewelga sa labas kaya hindi na bumalik dito? O baka ayaw lang niyang makita ang Mama niya sa labas?"

I kept my mouth shut. I kept my judgment at bay. I am in no position to speak badly of him.

"You are in no position to include his mother in this, Atlas. Si Tres ang pinag-uusapan natin dito."

But I know, deep in me, that I am slightly unnerved from what he said. If Tres' mother is a rallyist, there is no doubt that he could be influenced by it. It's evidence that he could be part of the Assembly that's why he has that knowledge about the rebellion. That's why he was angry.

I shook my head. "You're just playing with me. You're just asking me to trust you."

I couldn't count the times where Atlas flashed his smirk. "'Yan ang problema sa mga taong makikitid ang utak e. Nagbubulag-bulagan. Tanga ka talaga. Kitid ng utak, anak ng. Nakaiirita 'yung gano'n."

Lalo siyang nairita nang makita ang nagtataka kong mukha. I have decided to act confused and lost but the truth is, I have a thought in my mind.

"Bahala ka r'yan. Manatili kang makitid ang utak. 'Di mo iniintindi ang sinasabi ko," naiirita niyang sabi, naglalakad paalis.

❦

When I went home a few days after, I was trying my best to get the thought out of my mind. Mommy's okay when I arrived. Wala na siyang gaanong naririnig na balita tungkol kay Elvera Fajardo. It's good news, it won't trigger my mother's attacks anymore.

Hindi pa rin bumabalik si Tres at hindi na rin ako nakikipag-usap kina Zoren. Atlas, too. His words have greatly insulted me. Hindi ko na makakaya na muli pang mainsulto sa mga pinagsasabi niya. It's too damaging!

I know that I didn't want to drag myself into this mess, but after countless nights of thinking, I have realized that I—as much as I hate it—has already been dragged into this ever since I started talking to them. Especially once I grew knowledge of RAN.

But I wouldn't have that knowledge if Atlas didn't introduce it when he first met me at the Suite. At dahil gano'n nga, susundan ko na lang. Mas minabuti ko pang mag-search sa bahay dahil nag-dadalawang isip ako kung sa RCA ko gagawin.

Since I have decided to include myself in this mess, I might as well be educated. 

I started searching about the Assembly and found out that Renalie Narvaez is one of the founding members. Her name was familiar, I couldn't point out if it was the same woman whose picture is at my father's wallet. 

Ever since my father died, my mother kept on holding onto it, the reason why I decided to visit my mother and peek at my father's wallet.

With strict discipline and a belief that I'm doing the right thing, I headed towards my mother's room, a few doors away from mine. Ang mahinang tunog na nanggagaling sa kwarto niya ay bahagyang nagpaiingay ng paligid.

After peeking and heading inside my mother's room, I was stunned to see her holding the wallet on her left hand and a picture on the other. Playing on the television is an interview on Renalie Narvaez.

And my mother is seemingly disturbed by what she is seeing.

"I found you... I found you..." paulit-ulit niyang banggit, ang mata ay nakatingin sa telebisyon.

My mother was searching for one of the founding members of the Assembly... why?