Title: Dear Diary (1)

(Long)

Dear Diary,

Today he looked at me. I know it's a weird entry but it's progress right? Two minutes and five seconds. That's how long he looked at me. Well he glared at me because I corrected him in class but let's be optimistic here.

He also called me 'dumbass' and not 'fuckhead' which must also mean something. Maybe he's beginning to tolerate me. Totally progress.

It won't be long now. Maybe I should just confess. Should I?

(Y/n) gasped inaudibly and looked up from her diary, her unmoving pen hovering over the page. She had never considered telling Katsuki about her feelings for him but now that the question had risen, it scared her.

What would he think? And most importantly, how would he react? What if he avoids her? Or worse, laughs at her?

The female was well aware that Katsuki wasn't one to be associated with matters relating relationships. Heck, he didn't even care about the other girls in his class and he rarely even conversed with them.

Most girls would be put off by his hostile character and steer as far away from him but not (Y/n). A while back yes but not now.

Her friends couldn't understand what she saw in him and were even tempted to take her to a psychologist but (Y/n) only laughed it off and said that she was fine before proceeding to point out his "desirable" characteristics. To say her friends still didn't get it would be the understatement of the century.

But that didn't deter the girl from liking him. It had been nine months ever since her crush on him manifested and she was sure it had turned into something else other than a mere crush.

Love? Do I love him?...or is it just an unhealthy obsession?...

The girl squeaked and dropped the diary from her hands to cover her beet root red face. She fell back on her bed and uncovered her face, her eyes trailing up to the ceiling.

Her thoughts revolved around the ash-blond. The unfulfilled fantasies, the cute scenarios that she knew would never happen, her imaginations that would still make her blush in embarrassment, all things she had been used to by now. It was clear that her feelings were eating her out from the inside and the longer that she kept them hidden, the longer she'd go crazy.

She had even gone as far as keeping a secret diary called 'Mr and Mrs Bakugou's adventures'. If that wasn't the first step to total madness, she didn't know what was.

(Y/n) then suddenly sat up, her eyes flashing with determination.

Maybe I should tell him. I must tell him...I can't go on like this. He's driving me insane!...

The girl ran her hands through her hair and tugged at the roots. Her mind tried to convince her to delay for a little while longer but her heart yearned to spill the beans. She had kept silent for nine months. What was she waiting for? A miracle? The day Katsuki would grab an electrical guitar and serenade her in the most Katsuki way possible?

That was impossible. It was up to her to take the first step. Maybe if he knew of her feelings, he might consider. Right?

(Y/n) giggled and grabbed her diary and pen. Her stomach felt all jittery as she imagined her long time crush actually taking a chance on her. It was too good to be true.

The female smiled as she wrote another entry under her latest one.

Dear Diary,

I'm going to confess to him tomorrow. I hope it goes well and that he'll finally look my way.

Wish me luck!

***

(Y/n) anxiously shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she waited for Katsuki.

After class, she had passed him a small note asking him to meet her in an empty hallway.

It was cliché, the whole confessing in an empty hallway but the girl would rather go cliché than do something embarrassing in public.

(Y/n) checked her wristwatch and saw that he was ten minutes late. But that was basically her fault since she had arrived there twenty minutes earlier to practice her breathing exercises to calm her nerves.

What if he doesn't show up? Oh jeez...maybe this wasn't a good idea.

The female looked up from the watch and checked the hallway again for any sign of the ash-blond male. There was none.

Disappointment and sadness bubbled in the pit of her stomach and she drew her quivering lower lip between her teeth.

Screw rejection. He stood her up.

The female sighed and hung her head low. A painful lump formed in her throat as tears brimmed in her eyes.

"So much for hoping...." she muttered under her breath and turned around to leave the hallway only to stop when she almost collided with someone.

"You talking to yourself now, you shitty girl? Damn you're so fucking weird!"

The female gasped and looked up at the male who was frowning down at her. Her eyes widened and her breath escaped her.

Katsuki noticed that she was simply staring at him with awe and frowned even deeper.

"Oi!" he brought his hand up and flicked her forehead, snapping her out of her reverie. "Quit staring at me dumbass and tell me what the fuck you wanna say!"

(Y/n)'s face flushed and she cast her gaze to the ground. His crimson-colored eyes were burning into her impatiently and she felt even more pressured.

The girl nervously wrung her fingers as she found the right words to begin with.

Guess this is it.

"Bakugou there's um-there's something-something I need to uh...tell you...." she stuttered, internally smacking herself for doing so.

The boy narrowed his eyes at her and sized her up. He saw how nervous she was, how she played with her fingers and how she completely avoided his gaze. It didn't take him long to figure out what she was about to tell him. And when he did, his cheeks turned red. He had never received a confession before and didn't have to worry about that since he was well aware of his reputation with girls.

But now that he was getting one, he didn't know how to react. It wasn't like he was prepared for it or anything. And most of all, he didn't know what he thought about (Y/n). Annoying yes. Pestering, yes. Insufferable, check that.

But beautiful? He was a guy and he had eyes. She was kinda pretty but he had never dwelt on that since he was too focused on achieving the number one hero status. She would also go out of her way to say hi to him every day, sometimes with him during lunch and even offer to partner up with him when no one else wanted to. Before, he never cared about these gestures and only thought she was bothering him. But now he knew why she was so nice to him.

All these sudden new thoughts were starting to confuse him and made him freak out internally. And the only way he knew how to relay these internal feelings was through one emotion. Anger.

"...Bakugou I-"

"Shut up."

Shock crossed over the girl's face and she looked up at the angered male, her slacken jaw almost falling to the ground.

"Wha-"

"Shut up. Don't fucking speak. I know what you're gonna fucking say and I don't wanna fucking hear it," Katsuki spat, his blood boiling at the nerve of the girl to even attempt to make him think of such things.

(Y/n) on the other hand, felt like she was getting torn apart. He already had a clue of what she was about to say and his expression alone was enough to let her know that he was rejecting her.

Her throat felt tight and she was suffocating from the inside.

Katsuki clicked his tongue and took a step forward towards her.

"Now listen and get this through that delusional thick head of yours," he hissed in a low, menacing tone. "I don't have time to think about your fucked up feelings and I definitely don't have time to waste around your pathetic existence so do yourself a fucking favor and stay away from me. I don't care about your feelings and I don't care if you cry or shit. You got yourself into this fucking mess so get yourself out of it. I couldn't give a single fuck about you even if the fucking world burns down with me in it!"

(Y/n)'s eyes were practically saucers at this point. His hurtful words replayed in her mind and she could feel her heart literally breaking piece by piece. Before, she had imagined Katsuki's rejection to be somewhere along the lines of an insult and mocking laugh afterwards but not like that. He didn't even smirk like he always did whenever someone was getting hurt. He just stood there, glowering at her as she teared up.

(Y/n) felt a hot tear slide down her cheek and she quickly wiped it off with her fingers. She sniffled and briefly averted her gaze to the ground before looking back up at him.

"O-okay..." she choked out, straining herself not to break down in front of him. "I-I understand. I won't..." she paused and cast her pained gaze to the floor. "I won't bother you again."

The girl swiped at her eyes but the tears came anyway. She decided that it was time to leave. One more second and she'd completely loose it.

With those last words, the girl bolted passed him, sprinting towards the exit as tears streamed freely down her face. She ran towards the direction of her home, the only place where she could cry alone. Far away from the boy who hurt her feelings.

***

After hours of pouring her feelings out on her pillow, wetting it with her never-ending tears until she fell asleep, she woke up.

Her eyes stung from crying too much and she was sure that they were all red and puffy. Her nose also felt a bit stuffy and she hoped that it wouldn't revolutionize into an unwanted cold.

The girl felt drained and numb. Her face was pale and all energy was drained. She didn't think rejection would feel that way but it was to be expected. Even though she was somehow mentally prepared, she wasn't emotionally prepared. And it was taking a toll on her.

(Y/n) sat up on her bed and looked around her room. The last time she was there, she was practicing her confession before leaving for school and now all she wished for was to turn back time and stop herself from making that mistake.

If only she had listened to her brain, maybe then she wouldn't have been feeling that way.

The (h/c)-haired female looked at her bedside table and leaned over to open it before taking out her diary.

She stared sullenly at the cover she had decorated, at the little stars and hearts all around and over their surnames.

What a waste. She scoffed, mentally calling herself out for how pathetic she was. She opened the diary, to the page where her pen was and read the last entry.

She recalled how happy she was when she wrote that and she scowled. (Y/n) let out a growl and gripped the page, ripping it clean off the book.

In her burst of anger, she did the same to the other written pages. Her eyes skimmed over the words before ripping the pages off, getting even angrier as she remembered how she'd record any significant or insignificant thing that happened between her and Katsuki.

She suddenly felt deep loathing for him. For rejecting her. For saying all those mean words. And most of all, for not liking her back.

The female stripped the book of its written pages, leaving it only with a few empty ones. And she wasn't done yet.

She closed the diary and took her pen before harshly shading their names until nothing was visible, only messy, dark blue lines over the cover.

Her rage pushed her to the edge as she let out a frustrated scream and hurled the book across the room, the diary hitting the wall and landing on the ground with a thud.

Her breaths came out short and heavy as angry tears stung her eyes. Her heart hurt and she felt like she was getting rejected all over again. She fell back on the bed and buried her face on her pillow as she stained it with new fresh tears.

She was utterly done. Done with everything. Done with Katsuki.

Little did she know that as she was giving up her feelings, was when someone else's feelings were beginning to stir. And thus the start of another messy one-sided crush.

***