This idea has me sobbing uncontrollably
---

"Saihara!" I yelled, racing down the hallway of the classroom. Sure enough, the boy sat in his desk, staring out the window. I eagerly rushed towards him, wielding a piece of paper in hand.

"(Y/n)-chan... you seem energetic," he laughed a little at his observation. "What's got you so riled up!"

"They responded!" I exclaimed happily, putting the paper on his desk. He began to read in curiously.

"So does this mean...."

"Yeah," I nodded happily, trying my best to contain my excitement. "I'm going to be an idol, Saihara."

"(Y/n)-chan..." he murmured, a slightly hurt tone in his voice. "I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! When do you leave?"

"Next week..." I sighed, though my happy front reappeared immediately. "Are you ok, Saihara? You seem to be bothered by something..."

"What? Huh? No!" He yelled, his cheeks turning bright pink. "I'm so happy for you, (y/n)-chan. You'll be able to live out your dreams!"

"Yeah!" I replied, pulling him into a hug. He hugged me back, though it was a little tighter than what I was accustomed to.

"...I'm happy for you."
---

"I could not be more miserable..."

I walked alone in the park one night, just trying to clear my head. It had been over a year since I left to pursue my career as an idol, but something just seemed amiss. I purchased a soda, taking comfort in the small "thud" it made as it hit the bottom of the machine.

I strolled around, asking myself questions in between sips of the beverage. Was I really happy? Sip. Was all of this worth it? Sip. What was Saihara doing? Sip.

Saihara. I hadn't been able to talk to him since that day. My manager stole my phone, barring me from having any contact with anyone of the outside world. No, not even my parents could contact me. I had never felt so alone in my life.

I stared up at the moon, wondering if he was staring at it as well. My breath formed a cloud in front of me as I persisted forward. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to see him. I didn't care how much I would have suffered in the future, as long as I got to talk to him again.

I was miserable.

The next day, while my makeup crew outfitted me in my standard concert attire, I once again felt that uneasy feeling from before. I stared at myself in the mirror, suddenly being critical of myself. I didn't see much about me that was likable.

And yet, I found myself belting my heart out on stage in front of hundreds of people a few moments later. I had gotten used to big crowds, being able to tolerate any amount of people. Until, suddenly, I saw him.

I met eyes with him. Saihara. Standing in the middle of everyone else.

His mouth gaped a little bit in shock. I stared at him in disbelief, desperately trying to keep my performance going despite being clearly disturbed. Security guards swarm him, pulling him away from me. I'm forced to continue my performance with tears in my eyes, watching him reach out to me.

As soon as the concert was over, I stormed backstage. "Where is he? What did you do to him?"

"He was a distraction... we kicked him out..." a guard stared bluntly. Against the shouts and protesting of my managers and the security guards, I suddenly stormed out of the venue. I needed to find him.

I ran down the streets, desperately screaming his name. Fans stared at me in awe, and the paparazzi took photos of me, but I was unfazed. Makeup streamed down my face, and I began to feel as if my efforts were futile.

"Saihara! Saihara, please! Where are you?"

"I'm right here!"

I turned suddenly, seeing the shh detective behind me. I pulled him into a tight hug, tears streaming down my face. "Saihara... Saihara... I... I'm so sorry..."

"Don't apologize... hush..." he consoled me. "You should go inside. Now. You could lose your career over this."

"I don't care!" I whined desperately. "Saihara, I've been going crazy. I've missed you so much... when I saw you from the stage... oh, my goodness, my heart..."

"(Y/n)-chan..." was all he offered me in response as he held me tightly. "I think it's time for you to go back. They need you there."

"No, they don't!" I protested. "That's not what I need. I need you. I need to be able to see you again. Oh, god..."

Saihara suddenly began to tear up too, tears streaming down his face. "I don't want you to lose your whole career over me..."

"I don't care. It was fun while it lasted," I sniveled, pulling away from him. He took his finger and wiped the tears from under my eyes.

"(Y/n)-chan... please don't do this..." he begged me desperately. "You'll find love elsewhere... to lose your entire dream over me... that would be ridiculous!"

"I don't care..." I murmured. "Saihara, I love you so much. Please let me do this. I want to be by your side as a normal kid again."

He nodded. "If that's what you feel... I love you too, (y/n)-chan. Always have, and always will."

I smiled at him through my tears, suddenly dashing off back to the venue. Just as I was about to tell everyone I was going to resign, my managers told me I still had another year until I could quit.

I was devastated. I couldn't wait that long.

And yet, I did. In fact, I still am. Waiting. Hoping he's waiting for me too. Hoping he still loves me. I'll keep performing, of course, but I can't help but look up at the moon and pray he's looking up at it too.

I love you, Saihara.

Please wait for me.