Jaren's POV

When I wake up, I let out a soft groan and bury my face into the blankets as a headache rips its way through my skull.

"Fuck." I groan out into the bed, only to go stiff when I hear some shuffling besides me and a soft groan from someone else.

"Jaren?" A very groggy and sleep filled voice calls out, and I instantly freak out.

I roll over onto my back and sit up, completely embarrassed by the fact that John and I are laid in an unfamiliar bed together.

In just our boxers.

"What the fuck?" I groan out, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as John sits up as well.

"Morning." He yawns out, stretching his arms over his head.

I can tell that we didn't have sex, because a drunk me wouldn't have put on boxers, and I'm in no pain.

Ok... Good so far.

But Johns neck tell me that we did do something.

"Not to scare you or anything but... Your neck is full of hickeys." John states, and I feel a blush creep it's way into my face.

"So is yours." I mumble, hearing him hum slightly as his fingers run along his neck.

"Too bad I can't remember what happened last night. How hammered did we get, and how'd we end up here?" John says, looking around the room.

"Curtesy Of Brock And Brian." I reply, rubbing the side of my head as the last thing I remember being Brian shutting the door to this room.

"Oh." Is all he says before standing up.

I avert my eyes, deciding that if I want to survive this without trying to have sex with him would be to just act like I don't care.

I don't think you understand how much I'm debating asking him to fuck me right now.

He's so hot and swing him in just his boxers makes me just— mmmmmmmm.

Fucking, mmmmmmm, bitch. Ok?

Forgive me father for I want to sin.

"Hey, Uh, John?" I call out, getting a small grunt from the other male. "You want to come over to my house after this? Eri and Joshua should be at work." I offer, and when I look over at him, his eyes are full of life.

"Yes, fuckin please." John replies, grinning at me.

Shit! Eri!

I quickly scramble out of the bed and try to find my phone, finally locating it on the floor near the dresser.

When I lean over to pick it up, John wolf-whistles and I feel my face go bright red.

"Damn! Jaren, you gotta let me tap that." John states. I laugh it off and stand up, texting Eri as quickly as possible.

"That's why I invited you to my place, silly." I say as I'm texting Eri.

"You gonna let me fuck you?" He asks, but I'm kinda focused on this argument I'm having with Eri.

"Uh huh." I answer without much thought, finally putting my phone down and picking up my clothes.

Until it registers.

I figure it's too late to take that back, and then I also realise that it's John I'm with and he probably thinks that I'm just joking, so I let it slide.

Big mistake.

"Jaren I hope you used a condom!" Was the first thing Eri yelled into the phone when she answered.

I felt like I had just been punched in the gut.

"I didn't sleep with anybody! Fuck, Eri, I just passed out at the party, I'm sorry." I say, my neck and ears burning as I can feel John's amused gaze.

"Oh so you're one of those pussies?" She jokes, making me groan in annoyance.

"I'm alive. Goodbye." I growl, hanging up without waiting for her response.

"I mean, technically you did sleep with someone. We just didn't have sex." John points out, tossing me my pants from last night.

"I'm going to beat Brock up." I state, nodding my head slightly as if to confirm it with myself.

"Yeah, you can try." John teases, pulling his shirt over his head.

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I was devastated that his shirt was here, in fact, I was sort of hoping it would just vanish.

Poof. No shirt = Half naked John.

Oh, how I've changed.

"Stop pouting and get dressed." John says, rolling his eyes. That's when I realise that I've been standing there in my boxers this whole time.

Haha. Good one, Jaren.

"Dude, how drunk did we get?" John asks, rubbing the side of his head. "I feel like I've been smacked in the head with a baseball bat." He adds, looking over at me as I pull on my pants.

"I don't know. I had quite a few drinks." I reply, shrugging my shoulders before crouching down to tie up my shoelaces.

"Come on, lets go to your place so we can fuck." John says, brushing past me to get to the door.

"Funny." I state, rolling my eyes at the fuckboy in front of me.

"You're the one who said it." He replies, shrugging his shoulders as he opens the door and we walk out into the hall.

Surprisingly enough, multiple people are sleeping on the couches and furniture as we walk past.

I guess it's not uncommon to pass out at these parties.

Speaking of...

My eyes land on a group of boys talking in the corner quietly, as if not to wake everyone else up, and I instantly notice Jonathan and Luke are there.

They all look over and see us, and the looks on their faces are that of pure judgement.

John simply waves at them with a fake smile, before continuing on, but I just look away and follow him.

Oh god. They probably think... Oh god.

I'm not the type of person to have sex with a random guy! I like to get to know people, I like to go on dates.

I've never had consensual sex.

I'm not a whore, and I hate it when people look at me like that.

Like they know my life story. Like they know that I was pretty much used as a child prostitute so my real parents could make enough money to survive.

None of these people know what I've been through, so they need to stop looking at me like they know me!

Because they don't...

They don't know me.

They don't know my past.

"Jaren, are you ok?" John whispers, staring at me from the other side of the car.

"I'm fine." I whisper, barely being able to hear myself. I open the passenger side door and climb in, staring down at my lap as John gets in his side.

"Jaren, what's wrong?" He asks, his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him and see that he looks worried.

He looks majorly worried.

"I can't stand it when people judge me like that. Like they know me. I hate it." I admit, trying not to breakdown in front of him. Again.

"Don't let it get to your head, they don't know you, so their opinions don't matter." He says, quickly grabbing both of my hands in his own and staring me dead in the eyes. "People are assholes, and assholes talk a lot of shit." He adds, making me laugh dryly.

I appreciate his stupid joke, and I know that he's right, but I can't just ignore it.

It still hurts.

"Come on. Lets head back to your place so we can chill. Is Eri or Josh home?" He says, changing the subject.

I mentally thank him.

"Yeah but she'll be heading out soon. Or she might already be gone, I can't remember." I reply, scratching the back of my neck.

"Who would've thought that you're a party animal?" John jokes as he pulls out of the driveway.

I laugh nervously at that, my hand running over one of the tender bruises on my neck.

"God, I really hope we didn't do anything bad last night." I mutter.

"Same. I wanna be sober when I fuck you." He replies, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Does your mind just completely revolve around sex?" I question, causing him to laugh slightly.

"I mean, sex and vaping. Pretty much the stereotypical American bad boy, don't cha think?" He answers, a smug look on his pretty little face.

He's adorable but in a sexy way. Like a 'I want to sit on your face' kind of sexy. Y'know? No? Ok.

"Ok remind me again, left or right?" John asks as he stops at a stop sign.

"Left." I reply, grinning slightly at the sight of an adorable dog on the sidewalk. I want a dog.

"Hey John, do you have any pets?" I ask, glancing over at him. He looks like the type of guy to have a Doberman as a pet.

"Yeah, I have a turtle." He replies, surprising me to say the least.

"A turtle? Like an actual fucking turtle?" I ask in pure disbelief. He's joking, right?

"Do not judge Mr. Pods like that. He's a beautiful creature and he is my guard dog." John growls, looking over at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Guard dog?"

"He's pretty fucking big." John states, nodding his head slightly. "And he bites."

"Do you have a fucking snapping turtle, John?" I ask, trying not to laugh.

"No!" He pauses. "I don't think it is, at least..." He whispers, causing me to laugh. "Shut up! He loves me."

"Mr. Pods sounds amazing John." I chuckle out, making him smile.

"You should come over and meet him, I'm sure he won't bite someone as cute as you." John says, teasingly.

"I'm sure." I mock, grinning slightly at the sight of my house. John skilfully pulls into the driveway and we both hop out, racing each other to the front door.

"I win, bitch." I state, grinning as I slip out my key and open the door.

Like I had thought, Eri and Josh are already gone.

"Hey Jaren?" John starts, looking over at me.

"What's up?" I ask, noticing the concerned look on his face.

"You've changed so much. It's... Amazing. You were an emotional wreck the first day and then you were stone cold after that, and now you're just... So loose and fun. What changed?" He asks, sitting down on my couch.

I stare at him for a second, thinking about it.

"I think it's because this place is different. I haven't been bullied, much, yet... People accept homosexuality and tend not to make fun of it and I've honestly got some pretty cool friends. Like you and Brock." I reply, sitting down beside him. "I feel free for once. And I feel like I can be open and truthful with you. I don't have to hide shit, because you understand." I add, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"I've never really told anyone this, but I really like you. I feel like we connect in ways that I've never been connected with anyone before, not my friends nor my parents. I feel like we can read each other." John pauses, his eyes staring intently into mine. "And that's why I'm going to tell you this. You can't tell anyone." He whispers.

I nod my head and stare at him, something is eating away at him.

"I have lung cancer. I'm not going to survive the year." He whispers out, his eyes on me the whole time.

The raw emotion in his eyes are enough for me to believe him and I cover my mouth in shock.

"I was diagnosed last year and I rejected chemo. I might have been able to fight it if I had done the chemo, but I told the doctors that I would rather live my life to the fullest in the time I had left. You're the only person who knows, besides my parents." John says, grabbing my hands in his when he notices that I'm about to breakdown.

"You... You're going to die?" I whisper out, weakly.

"Yeah, Jaren." He grumbles. "I'm gonna fucking die."

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