Jaren's POV

Me and John stayed up all night long and watched movie after movie, crying quietly at the ending of The Notebook.

"God damnit!" John cries out, burying his face in my shoulder and sobbing.

"There, there." I joke, patting his hair. We both break out into laughter which then ends up with John on top of me, which then leads to us getting very intimate.

Well, sort of.

We're just making out, so it's not that intimate I gue— Oh, never mind.

"John!" I giggle out, pulling on his wrist to get it out of my pants.

"What? I can't give you a hand job?" He teases, slipping his hand out of my pants.

"NOT UNTIL LATER ON IN THE BOOK, GODDAMNIT!" Hellie yells out, kicking in the door.

"No silly, Eri and Josh are down the hall." I grumble, hitting his chest slightly.

"What, you want them to join?" He asks, raising his brows.

"I'll kill your turtle." I growl, causing him to gasp.

"He'd bite you."

"No, he loves me. He'd never see it coming."

"You're despicable." John huffs our, moving off of me and sitting down beside me on the bed. I chuckle slightly at that and sit up as well.

"So, want to hear about my past?" I ask, catching his attention immediately.

"Yes! I mean, uh, yeah, sure." He replies, a bit too enthusiastically.

"Just, don't get mad or cry ok?" I ask, seriousness dropping from my words. He nods his head rapidly and stares at me. "Um, this is going to be a bit weird and I get emotional really quick... Can I... Can I come sit in your lap?" I ask, my face slightly red.

"Sure, Yeah." He replies, patting his thighs. I move over and sit down in his lap, relaxing slightly as his arms go around my waist.

"Where to start.. Ok. My mother and father, my real ones, were super kind to me. They loved me and cherished me more than anything in the world. Until they got into drugs. I was five at the time, but they owed some very powerful men some money, and they didn't have it. But they did have a kid, and powerful men are usually the most fucked up. I'm pretty sure I was raped for the first time at the age of five or six, and it kept happening from then on." I pause and take a deep breath, the torturous images fogging my mind.

"Breathe." He whispers, hugging me tighter to him.

"There was this man... His name was Alventi, and he's the one who would rape me as payment from my parents. They let him do it as well, they locked me in a room with this man and let him do whatever he wanted to me.." I stop and cover my mouth, sobbing as quietly as I can.

"Baby, breathe. It's ok, he's not here anymore and he can't hurt you." John whispers, his fingers brushing through my hair. I sob quietly for a while before I compose myself.

"This went on for three years, every month or two. But then the police arrested my parents for drug use and I was sent to the orphanage. The court found my parents guilty on all charges, ranging from Child Pornography to drug possession." I whisper, letting out a small sigh. "School was shit, I was called a faggot and I was constantly being beaten up. The orphanage was worse. Then Eri and Josh came and saved me." I mutter, turning around in his grip and burying my head in his shirt. "They took me away and never turned back."

"I'm so glad they did. I'm so sorry for what happened to you Jaren, but no one will ever hurt you like that again." He whispers, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back soothingly.

"Come on, lets get ready to go." I mumble, snapping out of the mood and crawling off his lap to stand up. "We need to get downstairs before Eri comes up here with the belt." I joke, causing him to smile softly.

"Alright." He replies, standing up and pulling his shirt over his head. For a guy with cancer, he has a really nice body. Mm. I just want to—

No! Bad Jaren.

I clear my throat and turn away from him, getting a loud laugh from John.

"Baby if you're embarrassed to see me without a shirt on, this is going to be one hell of a ride." He says teasingly, causing me to scoff.

"It's not that I'm embarrassed to see you without a shirt on, I just get carried away in my thoughts." I reply, before realising that this just makes things worse. I facepalm and groan when he starts cackling like a mad man behind me.

"Come on, lets go before you embarrass yourself even more." He teases, walking past me to the door.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I ask, causing him to look down and laugh at himself. Idiot was about to walk out in nothing but boxers.

I roll my eyes and watch him get dressed properly and then we both head out the door and down the stairs.

"If you guys had sex, I want those sheets changed." Eri states as she puts the plates down in front of us. Josh spits out his water and coughs loudly, his face red as he tries not to laugh. John bursts out laughing and I try to kill myself by slamming my head down on the table.

It didn't work and now I have a headache. Who knew suicide was so hard?

"Eat your damn food, we have to leave in... minus two minutes. Take the plates with you, lets go!" Eri yells, frantically running around the table to get her bag and phone and keys.

Me and John both check our phones, and sure enough, we're gonna be late. We both jump up and run after Eri, yelling a quick goodbye to Josh as we head out the door.

"Shotgun!" John and I yell at the same time. We both look over at each other and then it's game on. I fucking shove that bitch so hard as I run up to the door, Eri screeching out something along the lines of 'careful he has cAnCeR'.

I shut the door and stick my tongue out at him as he rolls his eyes and hips into the back.

"You two are so cute together I can't—."

"Shut up and drive, damn it." I grumble, my face slightly red.

"Fuck!" She complains as her engine fails to turn on. She manages to get it on and then we're flying off down the road to the hospital. The oncologist we're going to see is the one that diagnosed John the first time, and he's said that there is still a chance John could make it if we act fast.

I hope he's not lying to get money.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. What happens if this doesn't work and John dies? What would happen to him? What would happen to me? What would happen to his friends? Would I be able to move on from it?

I know it's selfish, but I don't want John to leave me. I really, truely don't. I've got issues mentally that could have me classed as worse than a psychopath, and John's got enough issues to have his own reality TV show, so I feel like we connect on more levels than one. And I think that's why he means so much to me, I think that's why I'm so attached to him.

Because he's just like me. He's struggling to live his life, but he's trying. And now that he's met me, he's trying harder to survive and I'm glad. Because I want John to survive and I want him to be able to look back on all of this one day and be like; 'Awe shit. I survived some nasty stuff. Lung cancer ain't got nothing on me BITCH.'

And I want him to live a happy life. He says that he's living a happy life by doing whatever he wants, but that's bullshit. He wasn't happy. He was ignoring his issues and getting so high that he confused that with happiness. But he's not doing that anymore, and he's genuinely starting to get happier.

Or at least I think he is.

"Jaren, you alright?" John asks from behind me, his hand reaching forward and landing on my shoulder.

"Just thinking." I reply, smiling softly as I continue to stare out the window.

"Are you nervous, John?" Eri asks, looking back at him through the rear view mirror.

"Watch the damn road, woman." I tease, causing her to scoff and smack my arm lightly.

"I am a bit nervous, to be honest. This could be the day where the doctor finally tells me it's locked in and that I have no chance." John replies, and I can hear the slight waver in his voice.

Eri looks back at him again through the rear view mirror, but before I can scold her, it happens.

I didn't feel it at first, in fact, it felt like it was all in slow motion. There was a loud screech and then an ear rattling crunch as a car slammed into ours from the side, the impact sending all of our bodies jerking to the side.

The pain came next, a liquid like pain shot up all through my body as the whiplash caused my head to slam against the dash board, my seatbelt inevitably failing to secure me enough. My head pounds like a hangover on steroids, my body tending as our car flips off the road and into the trees beside it.

My eyes roll into the back of my head as I feel something pierce my side, the searing pain that follows it resembling that of the time I slipped and landed on a crushed vase.

The next this that happened was the noises. I could hear screaming and yelling and loud sirens, pulling me from my sleep. As I force my eyes open I see that I'm staring up at the sun, the blinding light causing the pounding in my head to intensify as I squeeze my eyes shut again.

"Is he going to live? TALK TO ME FOR FUCKS SAKE!" I hear Eri's voice call amidst the chaos. The more I focus, the more I hear the sounds around me. Loud sirens, that of police cars and ambulances, fill the air around me, leading me to my brilliant conclusion.

We just got hit.

By a car? Truck? I don't know.

John.

"He's going to be fine once we stabilise him, ma'am." Someone replies, but I find myself trying to call out for someone, someone that can tell me if John is alright.

"John." I croak out, but nobody replies. I realise that I can't hear my own voice, I'm not actually saying anything, and screaming his name in my mind isn't going to do shit.

I try to move my body, but I feel stiff and heavy. I start to panic, being weighed down does not sit well with me and right now, I need to know where John is.

I try to open my eyes again, but I find the sounds around me start to disappear, and soon I'm sat in silence. I can't tell if I'm moving or if I'm laying still, but I feel so heavy and sore right now.

Is John ok?! I need to know. Somebody please. Please just let me know if he's alright. Please for the love of god let him be alright.

"Jaren, baby, can you hear me?" I hear Eri's voice cut through the silence. I try to respond, I try to open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. "Jaren, I'm so sorry. I should have watched the road like you said. Everything's going to be alright, you'll be fine." She whispers, but I can't see her. I can only hear her, I can't feel her touch or smell her perfume or see her sad smile.

I feel completely numb.

Where's John?

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