Jaren's POV

"Aye man, what it do?" Marcel asks as I walk up to him.

"I'm just wondering where Luke is. Need to talk." I reply, adjusting the straps of my backpack.

"Ah, shit. You didn't hear? Luke's in hospital." Marcel replies, leaning back against, what I presume to be, his locker.

"How?" I ask, my thoughts instantly going to John.

"Ezra and Griz jumped him. Stabbed him too, apparently." Marcel replies, frowning.

"Didn't Luke, Tyler and you beat up Eric and Mason?" I ask, raising a brow.

"Tyler and Luke beat 'em up, I just happened to be there." Marcel says, his hands up in surrender.

"Right. Well, I hope Luke's alright. Is Tyler good?" I ask, somewhat worried about the tall American asshole.

"Yeah, piggy's aight." Marcel replies. I don't question the nickname and nod my head.

"Watch yourself. They might jump ya too." I warn, not meaning it as a threat, but he seems to take it that way.

"The fuck dude?" He questions, narrowing his eyes and getting all up in my face.

"Not a threat, Marcel." I say, rolling my eyes at his defensive position.

Are these guys seriously always on edge.

"Chill out, Mar." Someone says from behind me. I glance over my shoulder and see a brown haired kid with a grin that's just as powerful as Marcel's. "Heya! I'm Scotty." The guy introduces, holding out a hand.

"Jaren." I greet, shaking the outstretched hand and giving him a friendly smile.

"I'm in your P.E class, I noticed how flexible you are, you should come join the cheerleading squad!" Scotty says, clapping his hands together.

"Uh... I'm a dude." I state, and I hear Marcel say a quiet 'uh oh'.

"So? Boys can be cheerleaders, in fact, boys are great cheerleaders! The girls are so open here and we even have a male uniform! There is no limitations for either gender, and being a cheerleader doesn't make you any less of a man, it's a great way to learn new tricks and show off. Being a cheerleader means you cheer on other people, show off our school spirit and flaunt your stuff!" Scotty rants, pouting slightly.

"Alright, Scott, you made your point babe." Marcel says, moving past me to press a quick kiss to his lips. "Let's head to homeroom, Yeah?" Marcel says to Scott.

The way they look at each other is priceless.

They look so happy, so in love.

I want that one day. I want to grow old with someone, have fun with someone, be committed to someone.

I want to have a husband, a family.

I want to get a dog, and I want to name her Octavia.

I want to have a child, name her Octavia 2.0.

I want to do normal adult stuff with a man I love.

But I don't want the hate that comes with it, I don't want the pain and the burden of being in an openly gay relationship.

I don't want to be attacked because of my sexual preference.

And I sure as hell don't want my partner to be attacked either.

Why do people hate love so much?

I let those thoughts swarm around in my head as I walk off towards homeroom, not really focusing on where I'm going.

When I walk into the classroom I head up the back and I sit down in the empty spot where Luke usually sits.

"Hey man, I'm Lui, this is David. We haven't met yet." The friends of Luke greet.

"How's it going?" I ask, glancing over at them.

"Not to bad, what about yourself?" Lui asks, grinning at me with an overly-energetic grin.

"Pretty swell." I reply, making him pull a face.

"We don't do old words here." Lui says, the boy besides him laughing.

"Sorry bout him, 'e's a bit of a twerp." David says, a thick Irish accent reminding me of Brian.

Speaking of which.

"Hey twink, hows it going?" Brian greets as he plops down in the seat in front of Lui.

I completely forgot that he was in my homeroom.

"Good, what about you?" I ask, not arguing with the nickname.

"Not too bad, 'cept for the fact that your buddies are beating up mine." He replies, glancing back at me.

"They're not my buddies." I point out, causing him to raise a brow at me suggestively. "John spilled." I reply to the look I'm receiving.

"John? That prick never tells new kids about Cam's shit." David states.

"Yeah well, he was nice enough to let me know." I mumble, picking my phone out of my pocket as I feel it vibrate once.

iMessage from "John ;)"

John ;) : Hey dude, meet me out back after class.

You: Sure thing.

John ;) : See ya soon.

"Nice enough to keep in touch with, huh?" Lui asks. I jump, startled by the invasion of my privacy.

"What the hell man? You don't just read someone's messages!" I hiss, turning my phone off and giving him a serious look.

"Johns a player, a manipulative ass who doesn't actually feel shit. He's a sociopath, so whatever he's saying, don't believe it." Lui states, looking very confident.

"Of course you'd say that." I grumble, rolling my eyes.

"The hells that 'posed to mean?" Brian slurs, looking back at me.

"Shut up, I'm not talking to you." I snap, seemingly catching him off guard.

"What's got you in such a sour mood?" David asks, butting into the conversation.

"A bunch of dicks who think they can just say shit about other people. Honestly, didn't think you people would stoop so low." I say through gritted teeth.

Are they seriously trying to tell me not to be friends with him?

Are they trying to tell me he has ulterior motives?

To hell with that.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Brian asks, getting up out of his seat.

Is he for real?

"Boys up the back! Watch the language and simmer down!" The teacher yells, but Brian ignores her.

"You wanna get beaten up on the third day of school, retard?" Brian asks, his eyes full of a passionate rage.

I feel my jaw tighten at the words, past memories springing to life and suddenly the teacher is in a panic.

"Brian Hanby! Leave the classroom, immediately!" The teacher spitters out, realising the position I'm in, and how I may react.

"Say it again, bitch!" Brian dares, his eyes still burning with that fire.

Something inside me snaps.

I'm not the violent type, my past has always stopped me from laying a hand, in a violent manner, on another human being.

But right then, I punched him.

In the face.

As hard as I fucking could.

All these emotions were springing free, the pent up anger is been feeling for the past couple of years, ripping through me and giving me a rush.

I'm over the table, throwing punch after punch at a stunned and unstable Brian.

And soon enough, he falls.

And now, I'm towering over him, tears streaming down my face as I regain my control.

"Don't EVER, threaten me again!" I scream, aware of the whispers going through the room and aware of the pain I had just caused him.

Soon enough, I'm running.

I run out the door and down the hallway, the only thing on my mind is the fact that I just did the thing I swore to never do.

I hit someone. Out of anger.

I stop dead in my tracks as a wave of guilt and sorrow burry themselves in my thoughts, my brain swarming with images of the kids at my old school bullying me, and worse.

I bring a hand up to cover my mouth as sobs wrack through my body, sending shivers of pain and disgust all up my spine.

I nearly throw up at the sight of my fists, bruised and dusted with speckles of Brian's blood.

"Jaren?" I hear a voice from behind me call.

I don't face whoever it is, instead trying to muffle my sounds as best I can.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" I hear the person ask, now standing in front of me.

It's Brock.

I sob louder.

Oh my god. I just beat the shit out of his boyfriend and now he's worried about me.

"Hey, Hey! It's ok. Shhhh. Calm down." He soothes, pulling me into a hug.

I protest against it for a little, bit wanting to seek comfort in him, knowing that soon enough he'd hate me.

"What's wrong?" He questions, sounding just like Eri. He's got that same motherly tone to him, and soon enough I find myself sputtering our a bunch of jibberish, trying to explain what happened.

"And-An-And then I-I-I.." I was struggling to speak so he shit me up and told me to calm down first.

We stayed like that for a little before I had finally calmed down.

"Now please tell me what's wrong." Brock says, looking down at me.

"I beat up Brian in the middle of class." I sniffle out, moving away from him and awaiting the backlash.

"What am I gonna do with him? Honestly. Always getting into fights." Brock says with a sigh, rubbing his temples. "What did he do this time?" Brock asks, this must be a normal thing for Brian.

"He... Said some things and told me not to be friends with someone. Then he called me a bitch, so I punched him. I swear I didn't—."

"Don't worry about it. I'll deal with him later. Lets go get those hands cleaned up." He interrupts.

"Why are you so calm?" I ask, not believing him.

He's gonna lead me into the bathrooms and then stab me, isn't he?

"Because I'm in love with that idiot and he always starts things. I'm used to him getting beat up by now." He says with a small laugh.

"That doesn't seem very romantic." I point out.

"I give him 'feel better' sex." He replies, winking at me as he walks past me.

I can't help but let my face flush red at that, and soon I'm trying to imagine who tops and who bottoms.

I can definitely see both of them as tops.

Maybe they're switches?

Probably.

Why am I thinking about this again?

"So, how bad did you hit him." He asks me as he holds open the bathroom door for me.

"Hard enough." I mumble, my stomach sinking at all the guilt I'm feeling.

God, why would I do that?

Guess I'm no better than those kids at my old school, huh?

:: Flash Back /2017/ ::

"Hold him down!" Griffith orders, a sick grin on his face as he watches me cry.

I'm kicking my legs and yelling for help, knowing no teachers will interfere.

I'm just a faggot being put in his place, it's what god would have wanted, right?

"Stop it please!" I beg, my eyes widening as he raises the rock high above my stomach.

"Shut up, faggot." He orders, promptly slamming the rock onto a book that rested on top of my stomach.

I scream out in pure agony, tears falling faster as I become a blubbering mess on the cold snowy floor.

They put the book there so it leaves no mark.

They do it with a rock because it's so heavy.

It makes me feel like every bone in my torso is being shattered, my vision blacks out sometimes as well.

They repeatedly do this, stopping around thirty minutes later.

I curl in on myself and sob as they leave me outside, the bell ringing in the distance.

:: End ::

"I'm so sorry." I say to Brock, looking him dead in the eye.

He gives me a sad smile and nods his head, running his thumb over the back of my hand that's under the cold water.

He massages my bruised fists and helps clean off the blood before leaning down and kissing me on the cheek.

"You're adorable, and don't worry. Brian will be fine." He says, a gentle smile on his face.

I ignore the little kiss and nod my head, letting the guilt fade away.

I messed up, yeah. But at least I can own up to it and face it head on.

"I'm going to go back to class now, see you around Jaren." Brock says, waving softly before exiting the bathroom.

I mean up against the sink for a little before heading out of the bathroom myself.

I walk along the hallways, heading out the back door to wait for him.

To my surprise, he's already there.

"Dude, you look like shit!" John states, obviously noting my tear stained face. "Who do I have to kill?" He asks, getting all defensive.

"I beat the shit out of Brian." I whisper, holding up my fists for him to inspect the damage.

"What did the leprechaun do?" He asks, holding my hands in his to look at them closer.

"It doesn't matter, I was out of line." I whisper again, shaking my head.

"Hey." John growls, causing me to look up at him. "If you hit him, he must have deserved it. Come here." He says, pulling me into a hug.

After a second, I hug back, breathing in the scent of watermelon flavoured vape juice on his shirt.

Classic John.

"Hey Jaren..?" John begins, pulling away to look down at me.

"Mhm?" I reply, looking up at him.

"I'm a player. I'm a bad guy. I'm a druggie and I drink a lot. But despite that, you hang with me. Why?" He asks, getting way too real, way too fast.

"Because you're broken. I like broken things." I reply, staring him dead in the eye. "You were right before. We're more alike than we think. Two broken toys in a box full of new toys, we work well together." I add, smiling softly.

"I don't think I've ever wanted to kiss someone as much as I wanna kiss you right now." He jokes, grinning at me.

I stand on my tippy-toes and kiss his cheek before returning to my normal height.

"You might have a chance."

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