February 17th, 2023

Ships:
FrUK (France x UK)
SpaPort (Spain x Portugal)

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Portugal: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

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Monaco, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

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Spain: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

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*Monaco and France are texting*

Monaco: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste. NONE.

France: I got spring water.

Monaco: NO!

France: With EXTRA minerals!

France: It's like licking a stalagmite!

Monaco: DON'T COME HOME!

France: Mmmmmm, cave water.

~~~

Andorra: Help! I'm drowning!

Spain: Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!

Andorra: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

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Andorra: I'm very scary.

France: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Andorra: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

France: And small.

Andorra:

Andorra: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

~~~

UK: I hope you have an explanation for this.

France: We have three actually-

Spain: Pick your favorite.

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Spain: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.

Monaco: Go the fuck to sleep Spain.

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Portugal: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Spain: That's great, Portugal. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

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UK: Do you want some tea?

France: What are the options?

UK: Yes or no.

~~~

UK: What is this!?

Spain: That's the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

UK: Ow! Make it stop!

Spain: Surrender to your kindness, UK. It's nice to be nice.

UK: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

~~~

France: I'm going to hell.

UK: Probably.

France: I'll pick you up?

UK: *nodding* Carpool.

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UK: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.

France: Marry me.

~~~

Portugal, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me.

UK: Yeah, Portugal will straight up cry in public. Don't try them.

Portugal: Exactly, I will straight up-

Portugal:

Portugal, tearing up: UK, why would you say that?!

~~~

UK: *sees Spain and Portugal together*

UK: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

France: You mean... you ship them?

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France: I have issues.

Spain: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept-

France: With you.

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Portugal: If we lose, you're out of the will.

UK: I was in the will?

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Portugal: You have Crayons?

France: Yes, I have—

Portugal: You're— how old are you?

France: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

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