"You're really close to Noé."

"Huh? No I'm not."

"You always let him get away with things that you'd usually hold a grudge about." Dante pushed.

The two were sitting in the corner of a small tavern, away from the other patrons. At some point in their partnership it had become a place they frequented. It was supposed to be a one time thing but they were both young and stressed and meeting up for a drink every now and then was almost therapeutic.

"Noé's just difficult to handle, holding grudges won't get me anywhere with him." Vanitas grumbled into his beer.

"Whatever, quack. You shouldn't get mixed up with vampires so easily though."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Vanitas hissed.

"It means what I said. You own an infamous weapon that all vampires fear but recently you've been throwing yourself at them. Just look at your relationship with the Hellfire Witch."

"Noé never feared it..."

Dante sighed, "This is what I mean when I say you're soft on the guy. What's so special about him?"

"He's strong and that's useful," Vanitas waved Dante off.

"Come on, that isn't it. You would have ditched him already if that were all. It's not like you're desperate to save money, you always found a way to pay me no matter what the job."

"Why do you care so much about Noé? You interested in him?"

"As if. I'm a dham, we don't go for humans or vampires. You on the other hand... seem inclined towards vampires."

"Ugh. Don't be weird. Human or vampire or dham doesn't matter, it's not like I pursued Jeanne on anything other than a whim."

"And I'd believe you if it were just the Hellfire Witch," Dante murmured.

"I need more to drink," Vanitas scowled.

"Don't, you're so annoying drunk."

"Then stop drinking with me."

"Unfortunately, I have no one else to drink with. Johann would flip if he found out and last time I went with Riche we got kicked out for fighting."

"With who?"

"Each other, moron."

Vanitas waved to indicate he wanted another drink, even as Dante rubbed his temples, already anticipating a long evening. Vanitas tended to be cautious about how much he drank unless he was worked up about something, then he'd do his very best to get blackout drunk. It seemed like one of those nights. Another unfortunate thing about Vanitas was that he was a lightweight, probably at least partially due to the fact he was a literal lightweight and didn't have the body mass required to hold large amounts of alcohol.

Dante tapped his fingers on the table irritably, "What's wrong with you this time?"

"Nothing," Vanitas snapped as he snatched his beer to take a very long sip.

"You weren't like this when we first got here. Don't tell me I set this off by mentioning Noé?" Vanitas just glared and that practically confirmed Dante's words. "You're hopeless."

"Oi!"

"Do you honestly not understand how insufferable you are?"

"I didn't come out to be insulted by you, Baldy. Nothing's wrong with me, you just won't shut up and mind your own business."

Dante watched with disdain as Vanitas continued to consume beer at a rate that was completely irresponsible. Dante considered getting drunk himself, just because dealing with a drunk Vanitas was so painful. Ultimately he decided against it, no way would either of them get home if Dante was as weak-willed as his companion.

Within half an hour Vanitas was leaning heavily on the table between them, face flushed and eyes drooping. He was completely out of it.

"Dante," Vanitas slurred, "You're so ugly..."

"Hey, take that back you piece of shit!" Dante kicked him under the table and Vanitas gave a surprisingly strong one back in retaliation.

"Want to see who'd win in a fight?" Vanitas growled but it didn't come across nearly as intimidating as he wanted it to.

"With you in this state a little kid could probably knock you on your arse. Isn't it about time you go home?"

"Nooo!" Vanitas whined. "Then I'd have to see Noé."

"And?"

"I might do something I regret if I see him now."

"What would you do?" Dante sighed.

Vanitas grumbled something indecipherable before reaching for Dante's drink. Dante had the good sense to snatch it away from Vanitas before he could get himself even more inebriated. He scowled as Vanitas retracted his hand and rested his head on the table with a groan.

"Hey, Baldy, do you think..." Vanitas paused for so long Dante didn't think he was going to continue, "Noé will stay with me?"

"Hah? What are you talking about? That guy's  stuck around this long hasn't he?"

"I want to punch him," Vanitas said.

"You what!?" Dante felt like he'd somehow missed part of their conversation.

"I suppose anyone will do though. I could punch that man over there," Vanitas inclined his head to a guy enjoying a drink by himself.

"Don't-" Vanitas was already staggering to his feet.

Dante quickly leapt up and pushed Vanitas back down into his seat, blocking his view of the guy he was about to start a fight with.

"Hey!" Vanitas grumbled. "Don't get in my way or... or you'll get hurt!"

"Listen, I am going to leave you here for five minutes. Do not start any fights, do not leave this chair, do not even think about anything, okay Quack?"

"You can't tell me what to do," Vanitas sneered.

"I'm going to strangle you one day. Look, if you play nice and sit there for five minutes I'll buy you as much as you want to drink for the rest of the night," Dante lied.

Vanitas, who would never have been fooled when sober nodded his head, "fine."

Dante left quickly, immediately ten times more anxious once Vanitas was far from sight. He hoped Vanitas could wait for a few minutes. But he didn't have enough confidence in Vanitas to stop hurrying. The sooner he got back, the better.

***

Noé heard a knock on the window and furrowed his brow in confusion but otherwise remained in bed, burying his face in his pillow. The window was always unlocked so Vanitas should have been able to get in no problem. A few moments later there was the usual squeal of slightly old hinges swinging inwards and the window opened. Then heavy footsteps landed inside, Noé thought idly that Vanitas must be in a bad mood if he's being so loud.

"Hey," a voice said that was definitely not Vanitas.

Noé jerked upwards, eyes blinking wide open in a second. It was Dante. In the darkness his silhouette was unnerving and it was hard to make out his features but it was definitely Dante.

"Wha? Vanitas should be on the roof?"

"I'm not looking for the quack. I know exactly where he is."

"Huh?"

"I came to get you to go pick him up. You're that idiot's... I don't know what you are actually but you're something and I don't want to deal with him."

"It's the middle of the night," Noé groused.

"It's only like 10:30 what are you, an old man?"

"Can't he wait?" Noé was already beginning to lower himself back into a comfortable sleeping position.

"He's drunk out of his goddamn mind, I don't think he'll be okay if he's left alone."

"Then why did you leave him to come get me?" Noé asked, rising again now that he was slightly worried.

"The best thing for him would be to come home and rest but I know he won't listen to me! Besides, I didn't think you'd be so tired! Come get him before he starts a fight."

"He won't start a fight." Noé grumbled. Dante was silent for a few moments before Noé rethought what he said. "Okay, he'll almost certainly start a fight."

"Great. Now hurry up and get ready."

Noé took longer than Dante would have liked to completely wake up and get dressed. For a vampire he was surprisingly sluggish.  But eventually he was running beside Dante on Paris's rooftops, towards where Vanitas had been left alone.

When Dante took Noé inside he wasn't surprised to find Vanitas was not where he'd left him. But he wasn't far either. Vanitas was standing by a table with four people at it, flirting with the two women. Dante could already see the men getting annoyed and was prepared to see Vanitas get punched for the thousandth time. But while Dante was still frowning at the scene Noé slid up beside Vanitas.

"What are you doing?"

"Wah-" Vanitas jumped and backed away into a weak fighting stance, "What are you doing here!?"

"You should come home. Dante is concerned about you and I'm tired."

"No, I was having fun with these lovely people over here-"

Dante stepped in between Vanitas and the people who were getting closer to punching him by the second, "we're sorry about this idiot. We'll take him away now."

"No you won't, I don't want to go yet."

Noé sighed and grabbed Vanitas around the waist, picking him up, "excuse us."

Then he was carried outside, kicking and screaming. Dante said goodbye to them and Noé leapt into the air, jumping over roofs to take them back to the hotel. He awkwardly half carried half pushed Vanitas through the window and let him collapse on the ground.

"I'm going to bed," Noé announced.

Vanitas groaned, "I didn't want to see you tonight."

Noé paused, "why's that?"

"You're annoying. I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you, stupid."

"Well, why don't you go to bed and then you won't have to think about anything."

"I'm not tired!"

"Look, Vanitas, I don't really care what you do as long as you let me sleep. So as long as you're quiet do as you please."

Noé slipped into bed not longer after that and Vanitas paced the room irritably. Occasionally he'd glance at Noé and when he was sure the vampire was asleep Vanitas wandered closer. His hair was messy and his mouth was hanging open and he was making soft, ugly snoring sounds. Vanitas scowled at the fact that he only found all of that endearing rather than disgusting. Vanitas wasn't sure how long he watched Noé but at some point he fell asleep.

Vanitas woke up half slumped on Noé's bed, his neck in pain and a throbbing headache from the sleeping position and the alcohol. He groaned, vowing never to get drunk again.

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I've been leaving this for ages while I did uni and studied for exams. Now I'm uploading a new chapter the night before my first exam because I'm stupid ahdkdld. Hope y'all enjoy, you can probably tell I don't have a lot of experience with drunkenness myself lmao. And new vnc chapter soon Wahoo!