Yes, I am doing another PH crossover! Skip this chapter if you haven't read Pandora Hearts because it will not make sense. Look, I recently reread it and I realised Alice's birthday was coming up. I couldn't not write about it. So, happy birthday to my girl Alice. She is one if my favourite PH characters and a younger version of me was completely enamoured with her when I first discovered PH. So here's Noé and Vani meeting the gang again to celebrate July 20th
---------------------------------------------------------

BANG

CRASH

CLATTER

RRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

PLONK

"What the hell are they doing next door?" Vanitas leaped through the window, startling Noé.

"Huh?"

"Don't give me that stupid look, I can hear it from the roof. I'm going to give them a piece of our minds."

"Our" Noé scoffed.

"Yes, I'm sure you're just too polite to say anything but it's almost certainly bothering you."

"Maybe. But they just moved in and Amelia said they're really nice and it's a single father with his kids. So I don't want their first impression to be me complaining."

CHRIIK, CHRIIK, CHRIIK

"Well, I'm not tolerating that." Vanitas announced and marched out the door, Noé stumbling after him and pleading with him to stop.

Vanitas rapped angrily on their neighbour's door and Noé stopped yelling at him because it was already too late. Instead moving to put himself between Vanitas and the doorframe. The door swung open before Noé could make it. Vanitas's eyes widened and then sharpened into a glare.

"You again?"

"We've met?" The girl frowned.

"You don't remember." Vanitas looked ready to strangle her. "I'm not here to relive our past meeting in any case. I'm here to compl-"

"Alice, who is it?" A blonde kid came into view behind her. Oz.

"Two boys!" Alice yelled, "one says he's met me."

Oz approached, "met you? Oh! Noé and... Veritas?"

"Vanitas." Vanitas spat.

"Right. What brings you guys around here and how did you find out we started living here? Are you stalking us perhaps?" Oz gasped dramatically, hiding his stupid grin by putting a hand over his mouth.

"No," Noé gently moved Vanitas out of the way, "we actually came to meet our new neighbors who turned out to be, well, you."

"I see. Well - "

CLANG

"Actually," Vanitas shoved Noé away roughly, "We came to complain about that noise."

"Vanitas." Noé turned an accusing glare on his human companion.

"It's fine. Seaweed Head is just a bit clumsy sometimes with one hand. He got pretty good at cooking with only one but the new kitchen is throwing him off. I'm not so easily swayed by my environment like that pitiful being." Alice said haughtily.

"He's... cooking..." Vanitas could barely believe it.

"Yeah, it's Alice's birthday so he's making a feast, care to join us? Gil always makes too much food."

SHATTER

"I'll join you but only to help that idiot stop making such a mess of his kitchen." Vanitas threw his jacket off and into Noé's arms before storming past Alice and Oz.

That's when he realised how much bigger this apartment was compared to his and Noé's. Their one room apartment was so tiny in comparison it made him livid. From the doorway a small hall lead into an open plan kitchen, dining room and lounge. The kitchen was in the bottom left with the dining table behind it at the top left. To the right was a couch and two loveseats surrounding a coffee table. This part was already larger than his apartment. Even the windows (yes, plural!) were bigger in comparison.

There was also a door between the kitchen and dining areas that lead to a hallway containing two bedrooms and a bathroom, though Vanitas did not know those exact details. He simply saw the size of the living space in front of him and concluded he'd been cheated. If Orlok had places like these why did he shove Noé and Vanitas is a tiny apartment? How dare he!

Gilbert turned around to grab something else to help him cook when his eyes locked with Vanitas's, "what are you doing in my house?"

"What are you doing in my building?" Vanitas cackled. "I'm your neighbour and you're causing an awful lot of noise pollution. So, move and I'll help you cook whatever it is you're cooking."

Gilbert flushed in embarrassment, "Well- well I just finished the salad a while ago. I'm trying to add the last touches to the mutton broth. Then there's the roast capon, the pheasant pates, the crozets de savoie, the lamb and of course the dessert! I'm making apple tart."

"That's a lot of meat. In fact, that's a lot of food. How many people are you expecting!?"

"Just us three, we haven't found our reincar- our other friends since we were separated. I had hoped to track down Elliot at least, really I should have found him before Alice and Oz."

"You sure do make too much, just like Oz said. And this Elliot fella? Special to you?"

"He should be. We drifted apart a bit and never fully reconciled. I hope that the next time we meet I can be the older brother I should have been."

"Big brother, eh? I understand that I suppose." Vanitas scowled as soon as he realised the words left his mouth.

"You have a sibling."

"No. That was a long time ago and I doubt it was the same as your relationship with Elliot."

"I was actually adopted into his family," Gilbert moved past Vanitas to get to the oven.

"Hmmm," Vanitas hummed.

"Aghhh!" Noé shouted.

Vanitas whirled to see Oz and Alice piling onto him on the couch. They were just playing. Of course they were. Noé loved children. Alice seemed particularly violent though, going as far as knocking Oz off the couch and cackling as though she had won whatever game they were playing. Oz got off the floor, leaving Noé and Alice to keep playing together. He walked over to Gil and Vanitas.

"Two people in the kitchen is enough. Go back to the other two brats." Vanitas told him.

"I won't get in your way," Oz stood off to the side, "I just wanted to ask you some things."

"Me? About what?"

"Let's just say I haven't got a very good grasp on recent history, nor does Gilbert or Alice. Alice and I didn't get the opportunity to learn about this but Gilbert is just reclusive and stubborn, he should have taught himself."

"Really? What stopped you?"

"It doesn't matter. I hear there was a war between vampires and humans."

"So they say."

"Is it true? What happened?"

"It is true. All manner of things came into being after the Tower of Babel experiment went wrong, including vampires. The church, which was rather insignificant at the time, used fear of the vampires to gain influence. They stoked people's fears and initiated a purge of the vampires, gaining a mass following. After that human scholars disagree on what happened. Some say vampires were wiped out and others say they're still among us."

"And, which answer is true?"

Vanitas shrugged, "become a scholar and find out. Who knows, you could become one of those idiots who claims vampires never existed at all."

"So, have you seen one?" Oz asked excitedly.

"A lot of people claim to have seen vampires in recent times though no one can prove it. There may just be a lot of liars... or someone's covering these incidents up."

"You're no fun," Oz pouted. "So cryptic."

Vanitas shrugged, "ask Noé about vampires. He's the expert."

Noé giggled as Alice wrestled with him, he had to go easy on her but was still surprised by her strength. For a human kid she was pretty vicious. It reminded him of Domi when they were younger. It was hard to coax Domi into a fight but when she got into it she really went for it, particularly against Louis. He supposed because they were siblings.

"Hey Noé!" Oz called as Noé held Alice back from biting him.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to know about vampires. Vanitas says you're an expert."

Noé shot Vanitas a look that Oz didn't fail to notice before flicking his eyes away again. "Well, what did you want to know exactly?"

"Do they exist?"

"Of course they do!"

"Are they still around though? Or in another dimension."

Noé hesitated, "they are still in this world, though they don't advertise their presence. People are afraid of them."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm not afraid of them."

"No," Oz sniggered, "are you a vampire?"

Noé's smile dropped, "what?"

"Are. You. A. Vampire?" Oz repeated.

"Oz, don't be rude to our guests!" Gil protested.

"It's quite alright," Vanitas smiled. "I'm surprised you worked it out so fast. I was hoping it would take longer."

"You wanted him to know I'm a vampire!?"

Vanitas shrugged, "I would have been fine either way. I simply find this entertaining. Besides, I don't think these three are normal either."

"What makes you say that?"

"They say odd things now and then. I suspect the whole story would bore me though," Vanitas yawned.

Alice laughed. "Impudent human! My story is so fascinating no one could ever be bored by it. Just hearing about it would be a privilege!"

"Heh, funny. If it's such a privilege then I wouldn't be worthy of hearing it anyway."

"You are correct! A fool like you has no right to hear the tale of my daring as I saved the world! I am simply too magnificent!" Alice cackled.

"That sounds amazing, Alice!" Noé's eyes were practically sparkling.

"Aha! Someone appreciates how truly awesome I am!"

"Are you saying I don't appreciate you enough Alice?" Oz asked, amused.

"You are my manservant and therefore your appreciation of me is a requirement! You deserve no praise for simply doing your job."

"Come on Alice, don't be mean."

She huffed, "well, you are a very good servant most of the time. Just don't expect praise all the time!"

"But Gil is always getting praised by you~"

"Hey, don't drag me into this!"

"Raven cooks my food and deserves praise for all the meat he gives me. Plus, he pats my head when I've been good!"

"You three really are something," Vanitas remarked, "I can't imagine how you ever became friends."

"Fate is my best guess," Gil smiled, "this is just the way things are meant to be."

"I can't even imagine Noé being that sappy. I think I'm going to throw up."

"I think that it's wonderful," Noé said. "I hope one day I can be with the friends I'm supposed to be with."

"Too bad you're stuck with me," Vanitas crooned.

"You know I didn't mean anything by it, Vanitas."

"And you should know I'm not offended. Besides, you can make friends with anyone you want. People find you irresistible for some reason."

"That's not true."

Vanitas shrugged. "If you say so."

"When will the food be ready!" Alice interrupted.

"Not long now," Gil told her, "please wait a little longer."

Gil was right, everything was finished not long after. He had Oz set the table while he organised the food in the middle. All of them sat down, with Alice at the head of the table, flanked by Oz and Gil, and Vanitas and Noé opposite each other with Vanitas beside Oz and Noé beside Gilbert.

Alice got to pick what she wanted before the others were allowed to pile any food onto their own plates. For such a petit girl she could really eat. Vanitas found himself with the smallest portion, unsurprising considering he wasn't one for indulging himself when it came to food. Noé had plenty, though he seemed more interested in the dessert he was not yet allowed to eat. They sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying their meal. Gilbert really was a stellar cook, despite the mess he made of the kitchen.

"Happy birthday, Alice," Oz grinned.

"Happy birthday," Noé and Gil echoed.

They turned to Vanitas expectantly. He scowled at them but Noé raised an eyebrow and nudged him under the table. Vanitas sighed, "happy birthday, brat."

The rest of the meal passed by smoothly, the conversation light and entertaining. Vanitas didn't participate much, allowing Noé to take the lead. Eventually, when they were all finished Vanitas and Noé stood to take their leave. Noé had offered to help wash up but Gilbert had declined vehemently. As they made their way to the door Oz called after them, "see you again later!"

Vanitas didn't look back at the boy but smiled despite himself. Noé on the other hand turned around to wave at their neighbours as he left.

"That was fun!" Noé said as he flopped onto his bed.

"I prefer the parties the vampires in Altus throw."

"You nearly died in Altus."

"Yeah..." Vanitas said wistfully.

Noé snorted. "What do you honestly thi k of them?"

"Gilbert is too timid for his own good, Alice is delusional and narcissistic and Oz is a conniving little brat. I suppose I like them. They are strange and intrigue me almost as much as they irritate me."

"High praise coming from you."

"Jealous?" Vanitas wiggled his eyebrows.

"As if. I don't like you and you don't like me."

"Haven't heard that in a while," Vanitas grinned and he wondered when it had stopped being true.

---------------------------------------------------------

I implied some weird shit about reincarnation in the PH universe so please ignore it. I really don't know how the reincarnation works so I'm just making stuff up. Forgive me for making the crossover weird and saying that it is really in the same universe, just 100 years after PH.