LOVE ME AGAIN by Beth Hale

December 2, 2016

Faith Derrick clutched a picture of her wedding day to her chest and watched as her husband packed his suitcase. She was sitting on their bed, her long legs tucked under her, and her long blonde hair spilled down her back in a tangled wave.

"I can't believe you're leaving," she rasped, her voice hoarse from the tears she'd already shed.

Josh glanced at her then looked back at the shirt he was folding. "Why not?" he asked. "All we do is fight and yell and cry. When's the last time we were happy together?"

Faith pressed a hand to her stomach. "August," she whispered, the ache building even more. "I can't help that I lost the baby."

"No one blames you for that," Josh said huskily, his throat clogging with tears he refused to cry. "I'm tired of being sad all the time; of not being good enough for you or your family." His voice turned bitter. "I'm tired of being accused of cheating on you."

Faith lifted her chin. "I know what I know," she returned evenly. Her bravado left as quickly as it had come, and her face crumpled again. "Oh, Josh. Don't you love me any more?" she whispered brokenly.

He snapped the suitcase shut. "I think the problem is we're both lost and lonely and too deeply hurt to love each other enough."

Josh cupped her face with trembling hands, his dark brown eyes searching her drenched gray ones. For a moment, their tears mingled together and fell onto the wooden frame she held. He kissed her gently and then quickly walked away.

Faith curled into a tight ball and wept bitter tears until sleep overtook her.

February 14, 2017

Faith started as her cell phone chirped the alarm she'd set. It was 2 pm—time to stop work and begin preparing for her meeting with Josh.

That's how she made herself think of it. She frowned, wondering again just what kind of game he was playing. For two days now, there had been a volley of text messages back and forth between them: he wanted to cook her dinner and talk—and on Valentine's Day, no less. A day meant for lovers.

Faith had declined but, worn down by the constant pleading and wheedling, she'd finally said yes. One last dinner, cooked by him in the house he'd walked out of.

Maybe that would finally bring an end to everything.

Faith closed the greenhouse door behind her, her thoughts swirling as she walked towards the house. She plucked a bottle of water out of the fridge and guzzled it as she mounted the steps leading upstairs.

Once she reached the master bathroom, she turned on the hot water and began filling the huge tub. A nice, long soak was in order, she decided, after spending the day transplanting seedlings and listening to a customer change her landscaping plans for the third time.

Faith caught a reflection of herself in the mirror and winced. It was a good thing she'd given herself four hours, she thought ruefully, taking in the grimy clothes and dirt-streaked face. A woman going into battle needed to look her best.

And a battle this would be, she mused as she added jasmine scented oil to the water. She had to persuade Josh to sign the divorce papers and end their marriage so she could move on.

So they both could.

Faith couldn't begin to imagine what he was waiting for. They had a prenup; he wasn't getting anything more than that allowed, and he had his new fling. Julie, with the red hair and big, fake boobs.

Faith sneered at the thought of the woman Josh insisted was only his assistant.

Faith wasn't stupid, and she was tired of this waiting game.

With a sudden shrug, she decided all thoughts besides getting pretty could wait. She stepped out of her clothes and into the steaming, fragrant water.

Faith lingered until the water began to cool. She quickly towed off, creamed her skin, and plugged in the hair dryer so she could tame her wet mane.

Once she had it falling long and sleek down her back, she bundled into her thick ruby robe and made her way to the closet to peruse her options.

She settled on a floor length sheath the color of soft wisteria. It nipped in her already slim waist, showed a good amount of thigh through the slit with each step, and pushed her breasts up and together so that they swelled provocatively over the rounded neckline.

Not that she was trying to entice Josh. She just wanted to look and feel her best tonight.

Faith wiggled into the dress, tugging it over her hips and pulling the thin straps up her shoulders. Satisfied with the fit, she sat at her vanity and began meticulously applying her makeup.

She didn't want to use a heavy hand, but she didn't want it to look slapped on either.

Faith caught herself and rolled her eyes. This was getting out of hand.

It wasn't a date; it was a business deal. With the husband who had walked out on her.

She slicked on a last layer of lip gloss and deemed it sufficient. After checking the clock, she congratulated herself for having an hour left to make sure she'd picked up everything on the list Josh had provided and to settle the nerves that insisted on acting up.

Faith slipped into her heels, picked up the lacy shawl that went with the dress, and headed back downstairs.

Her steps faltered as she rounded the corner into the kitchen.

Josh stood at the center island, whipping something in a bowl and wearing the stupid Kiss the Cook apron she'd bought him while they were dating.

"You're early," she managed. Her eyes narrowed. "I know I set the alarm when I came inside."

"You did," he responded cheerfully. "You never changed the code, and I still have my keys."

Faith huffed out a breath. "Why are you here so early?"

Josh poured the marinade he'd made from the bowl into a roasting pan. "I wanted a little more time with you," he said. "Time to just talk, Faith."

She sighed. He was already here; what difference could one more hour make? Plus, the kitchen already smelled marvelous.

"Fine," she agreed. "What's for dinner?"

"Roast leg of lamb, rosemary potatoes, and herbed bread. I'm making a chocolate mousse too."

Faith's mouth watered at the thought. "I can't wait for that."

Josh turned to put the pan in the oven and removed the apron. He crossed over to Faith and offered her a smile. "We've got some time before I have to be back in the kitchen. Let's take a walk through the greenhouse, and you can tell me what you've been doing out there."

Faith raised a brow as she fell into step beside him. The sun had dropped below the horizon, leaving the pale lights glowing behind the clear greenhouse walls.

They walked in and Josh winced. "It's always too hot in here for me," he muttered. "I know," he continued, holding up a hand. "The plants need the heat. It's just a cross I bear, being so hot natured and living in a state like Texas."

"There's always Alaska," Faith suggested.

"That's too far in the other direction. All that snow and isolation." Josh gave a mock shudder and made Faith grin.

"What's all this?" Josh asked, his sweeping arm indicating the tables in the right corner.

"That's what I'm working on," Faith told him. "I'm transplanting Gold of Ophir seedlings. I'm hoping they'll be ready in time for a client's wedding in a few months, plus she wants some for her new house."

"Gold of Ophir?" Josh echoed.

"Roses," she explained. "I'm starting them in here. I'll plant some in her yard when the time comes, and some will go in her bouquet." She leveled a stare at him. "What's going on, Josh? You've never been interested in plants or what I do in the greenhouse."

Josh shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think, Faith. I fully realize I didn't make enough of an effort to be involved in your day to day. I was too wrapped up in mine."

His fingers gently pressed against her lips when she began to reply. "Let's leave it for now, okay? Let's reminisce over the good memories for a while. The rest can come after."

Faith nodded and, still silent, she followed him back to the kitchen. She settled into the breakfast nook and watched while he bustled around: stirring pot, mixing something in a bowl, grating chocolate.

"Do you need any help?" she ventured.

Josh snickered. "From you? No, thanks. I still remember that pot I had to toss because of the macaroni and cheese you tried to cook."

Faith flushed. "It wasn't my fault," she defended herself. "I had never cook macaroni and cheese before."

"All you had to do was follow the directions on the back of the box," Josh pointed out.

"Shut up," Faith muttered. "So I'm not a cook."

"Have you even used the kitchen since I left?" he wondered out loud.

Faith narrowed her eyes. "Yes. I can heat up soup and make a sandwich. Daddy had the gourmet kitchen put in for you, you know. When he showed me the house plans, he made a big production of telling me so. 'At least one of you can cook'," she mimicked. "At least we got a fabulous house as a wedding present . . . " Her voice trailed off.

Josh poured them each a glass of wine and moved to sit across from her. "It's all right, Faith." He sipped then said, "Your father has always intimated the hell out of me. Big Richard Allen: oil tycoon, rich beyond words, and father to the prettiest girl I ever saw. He was always staring at me. I felt like he was thinking of places he could hide my body."

Faith laughed. "That's my daddy."

"He never thought I was good enough for you."

"That's not true," Faith objected.

"Yes, it is. Poor Josh Derrick, who got into Texas A&M on a basketball scholarship. How dare he have the nerve to date and then marry Faith Allen? I heard the talk."

"You heard the gossip," Faith corrected. "Daddy wants me happy. You made me happy, so he accepted you."

Josh smiled sardonically. "That's not how I felt," he replied.

"Is that why you worked so much?" Faith asked, suddenly understanding some of his drive.

He nodded and shoved away from the table. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me?" he asked, busying himself by gathering plates and silverware. "How much less I felt? Out of place? "

Genuine bafflement clouded her eyes. "Why?"

"I grew up so much differently than you, Faith. You've always been accustomed to the finer things, to money. I wanted to be the one to provide that for you. I didn't want you to compare your life with me to the life you had before, and have regrets."

"Josh, did I make you feel that way?"

"No. No, you never did," Josh admitted, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I know that's my hang up. I felt that I had no right aspiring, even secretly, for a girl like you. So pretty and rich and out of my league. I kept waiting for Big Richard to set the dogs on me."

Faith's laugh bubbled up. "The dogs," she repeated. "Misty and Muffin are too damn spoiled to do anything except eat. He loves those Rottweilers more than he loves me."

Josh grinned, received that the mood had lightened. "It's almost done," he told her. "Can you go upstairs or something for about thirty minutes? That'll give me time to set it up and changed into nicer clothes."

Faith readily agreed and left, leaving Josh to swing into action.

He quickly dropped a silver cloth into place and set the table for an intimate dinner for two. After carefully removing the lamb from the oven, he went back and fussed with the plates and silverware again, arranging it with a critical eye. He wanted everything to be perfect.

Josh smiled as he traced the silver-gilt edge of the bone-white china. Their wedding china.

He shook himself, lit the candles, and hurriedly changed from his casual khakis and polo into a more formal suit, one he knew she liked.

Josh was playing for keeps.

When Faith walked back into the room, her eyes widened with appreciation.

Josh stood at the counter, pouring glasses of champagne. The slate-blue shirt and charcoal colored pants he now wore highlighted his lean body and complimented his dark hair and brown eyes. His full lips curved into a smile when he saw her, and Faith licked her suddenly dry ones.

She wanted those lips on her again.

Pushing that thought aside, she fixed a bright smile on her face and stepped forward to accept the glass he held out.

"It's beautiful in here," she said. It was true. The table glittered with fine china and candlelight. Delicious aromas tantalized her nose, and Faith offered no resistance as Josh led her to a chair.

He slid plates filled with food into the table and sat opposite her. "Dig in," he said.

Faith sampled everything, nodding to show her approval. Josh dipped his head in acknowledgement and began to eat.

The room was silent for several minutes, the only sound being the clink of the forks against the plates. Finally, at length, Faith spoke.

"You asked about my work. How is yours?"

"Still busy," Josh told her. "I took on two new guys. They show a lot of promise, so I can ease up on my workload."

Faith couldn't stop the words. "I bet Julie is happy about that."

Josh raised his brows. "She is," he replied easily. "It gives her more free time to plan her wedding."

Faith hissed. How dare he flaunt his engagement to his whore in front of her? Her fingers tightened around the stem of her wine glass, and she struggled not to toss the ruby liquid into his face.

"Has she picked a date?" Even to her own ears, her voice was strained and held a faint sneer.

"She wants a September wedding. I suggested she use you for the flowers."

"What?"

"I thought we could work out some sort of discount."

"What?" She almost shrieked it.

"Well, she's an invaluable assistant," Josh pointed out. "Plus, Sabina—that's her fiancee—loves your work."

"Sabina? Who's fiancee? What?"

Josh chuckled as he stood to remove the dinner plates. He replaced them with bowls of chocolate mousse.

"Let's try again," he said. "Julie is engaged to Sabina, and they want a September wedding. Sabina likes what you do with flowers, so I thought we could work out a deal for them."

Faith stared. "You're not marrying Julie?"

"Julie likes girls," Josh replied. "Besides, I'm already married." He gave her a cheerful grin and scooped up a spoonful of dessert.

"Julie is a lesbian."

"Julie is a lesbian," Josh confirmed.

Faith's cheeks were tinted with embarrassed color. "You never slept with her."

"I never did."

"You stayed away so much," Faith said, almost to herself.

"I worked too much," Josh agreed. "I was trying to make myself feel worthy of you. After we lost the baby, I think we just sort of pushed each other away."

Tears filled her eyes. "I'm so sorry about the baby."

Josh leaned forward and captured her hands, holding them in his own. "So am I," he told her. "But I never blamed you for it. It happened; it was no one's fault. I think we just didn't know how to handle the hurt and anger we both had."

"I withdrew," Faith admitted. "I can see it now."

"And I spent even more time at work. I can see my mistakes, Faith, and I'm sorry for them."

Faith sighed. "I'm sorry for mine. A computer architect with a booming business needs to log some serious hours." She paused. "You should have told me about Julie."

"I tried. You wouldn't listen."

Faith tilted her head. "You're right. I felt so lost and alone, and I was so sure that you were sleeping with her. Now, I feel like an idiot."

"What now?" Josh asked. "What do we do now?"

Faith stood and walked to the patio doors, staring out at the night sky. "I don't know," she finally answered. "You won't sign the divorce papers."

"I couldn't believe you filed them."

She whirled around. "You left me!" she cried. "I was hurt. Alone. Angry. Why won't you sign them?"

"Because I don't want a divorce," Josh replied evenly. "I was hurt and angry, too, and needed some time to think. Once I was alone in that hotel room and was able to think, all I could think about was you. How much I love you, how much I miss you. I made a mistake by leaving, Faith."

She was barely breathing. "You don't want a divorce?"

"No. I want you."

Faith's lips trembled on a sigh. "You love me again?"

"Oh, Faith. I never stopped."

Josh pulled her into his arms, his lips covering hers in a sweet kiss.

Faith clung to him, reveling in his touch and taste.

She knew deep in her heart that he was home to stay.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this sweet little story.

A big thanks to @RomanceSparks for allowing me to participate with the other amazing authors in this Crazy For You Valentine's Day Anthology.