A/N

(aka Disclaimer)

So: I had the idea. I executed the idea. And then I read the idea the next day and realized it's a bit wild, kinda raunchy, and a bit off-character. I wanted it out of my system. I wanted to publish it regardless of what I thought of it, though because maybe someone will enjoy it!

Hermione hung up the line and felt the breath collapse from her lungs. She sagged into the closest chair, closing her eyes and sending out a silent prayer if not only for the fact that she'd just completely lied to her parents.

Their relationship had been rocky for a long time, ever since she'd restored their memories, Hermione and her parents hadn't quite possessed the same familiarity as before. They found it hard to place trust in her, and for the last few years she'd been repairing that. Attempting to do so, anyways. Hermione called at the same time every week, never asking for anything but the spare time to visit, and always at the same time. She promised them that she was healthy and happy, and that her friends and job were taking care of her needs. They never talked about the war, the one time when she gave them back their memories was enough.

Her father often asked if she still liked her job, and her mother always made sure she was brushing her teeth. The conversations were dry and tedious, but Hermione stuck to the routine like a lichen on a rock. She hated that she was the cause of the discomfort, that what was once a friendly and comforting pair of people to her were now cold and just out of reach.

Hermione pushed her hands through her hair and gritted her teeth, not caring that it was a bad habit that would have made her dad glare at her until she stopped. The idea only made her angrier, though why she was angry had almost nothing to do with her parents. Sort of.

Glancing at the telephone with a healthy dose of disdain, Hermione thought about the giant lie she'd given out like presents on Christmas.

"Do you have a boy, Hermione? A respectable... wizard, we suppose? Your father mightn't care to know, but... well we're hoping that you do because we hate to think you're alone. And the trip to our summer home in Australia would be so lonely for you in a few weeks because, we're... well, we won't be there when you're scheduled to arrive."

Hermione remembered almost hanging up the phone right at that moment, because why in Merlin's name were her parents not going to be there when she arrived in twenty-three days? She wasn't counting, but she loved being with them there, and she'd put off almost all of her vacation time for this trip.

"How long won't you be there?" She'd wondered, attempting to keep the astonishment from her voice.

"Only a week. We couldn't find a replacement dentist for the practice for that long, we're so sorry, honey. That's why we're hoping you have a man you would like to accompany you?"

Hermione remembered her mouth gaping until her mother checked to see if she was there.

"Yes," she'd said hesitantly... and of course her mother thought she'd meant yes to the original question, not if she was still at the other end of the receiver.

"Oh! Wonderful, well, who is he? Would you tell us about him?"

Hermione remembered being very confused, she still was thinking about why she hadn't just corrected her mother and told her that she would just come for the week alone.

"He's..." Hermione stopped there, wondering who she could rope into going with her platonically. She could just make up a lie later about why she was single again, but the only person she could think of was Harry, and they knew well and good that he was with Ginny.

Hermione wouldn't even consider Ron, the utter arse that he was did not deserve a week on the coast of Australia. Her other past relationships seemed just as dismal, only one of whom she could possibly tolerate for that long again. Plus the week in which she knew her parents would make said wizard stay.

"He's what, darling?" All the pet names were generic now, no more personal ones that had been so fondly said in her childhood.

Panicking, Hermione chose the one ex who was probably least likely to even agree to see her let alone spend two entire weeks in her presence.

"He's one of my old professors." It was said before she could bite it back, and then it was done.

She could have sworn her mother dropped the telephone and her father had muttered a cursed, "What?"

"Certainly not that one who used to pick on you? That... Professor Snake?"

A laugh had almost left her lips if the situation hadn't already taken such a dire turn.

"Can't I just come alone, mum? He doesn't like anywhere where he needs to put on anything less than pants and a thick button-down."

Almost shakily, Jean Granger had given her a stern no. "You will bring him, Hermione, for if he's good enough in your eyes, then I'm sure he'll be perfect company for us once we get there."

Hermione brought her head down onto the table with a slight thump just thinking about the way her mother had changed her tune so quickly.

"Can't I just come alone, please?"

"We won't hear a word of that, darling. Bring Professor Snake and we'll give him an honest, first-hand opportunity to show who he really is. Also... no sex in our house please!"

A right bastard, went through her thoughts again, but Hermione was attempting to remain calm now that the conversation was done with. The final comment still had her cheeks burning red. There wasn't a single chance they were shagging, that's for sure.

"Okay, mum. See you then. Love you both."

They'd said they loved her too over the telephone and then hung up.

Hermione lifted her head from the table and decided that she needed to come up with some excuse as to why Severus Snake couldn't come with her to Australia.

Snape was not going to be happy with her, she could guarantee that.

While many of her relationships had ended almost as quickly as they started, herself and Severus had actually lasted quite a while. If a year and nine months could be seen as a while.

It wasn't necessarily ideal at first, because it was just glances at work that had turned into curious dates to see if they had something, then hot and surprisingly wonderful sex. Hermione was enthralled by his intellect, and Severus in her youth. They'd worked well for a while, but then she felt like he was suffocating her suddenly. She started to move forward in her job, and she was so excited with the opportunities being afforded to her. Snape had been happy for her, but he was looking to settle in sooner rather than later.

She didn't want to settle down.

Hermione had been the one to break it off, and he went right back to being the horrible potions bat that he'd always been. End of story.

Well, it would be when Hermione finally thought of a way to get Severus out of the situation he had no idea he was in. She felt bad about signing him up unwillingly, but she was sure something could get him out of it... though she wasn't scheduled to call her parents for another week, and by then they would know she was faking it. She always had been an awful liar, especially to her parents who knew her so well.

Hermione also hated to dampen her parents mood, and then they would insist she just not come until they could meet her there. Since she had a portkey booked already, that took weeks to get in the first place, it was hard to just change that, and... well she really wanted to go to Australia in twenty-three days.

All of her excuses were coming up short of just biting the bullet and asking Severus to come with her.

Merlin, what was she thinking?

Hermione looked at her watch and leaned into the creaking wood of her chair. She was living in Grimmauld Place for the time being while her flat was being renovated, and the situation she was in with her parents and now Snape was so bad that the eeriness of the place was comforting!

Merlin, she needed a drink.

Before that, Hermione decided she would get it over with now and just ask him if he wanted to go. Hell, if he wanted to spend the whole first week locked up in the basement that was perfectly fine with her. It was the second week that would be the challenge.

Walking over to the fireplace, Hermione decided to give the floo a go. It couldn't hurt to try, right? She figured the wards on Spinner's End were probably set to cast her out at this point, but a good try never hurt.

"Spinner's End!" Hermione shouted into the flames, her hands of powder empty and her sights soon on Snape's living area.

So she hadn't been warded out? Surprising.

Looking about, she was glad to see that he wasn't in the immediate vicinity, and Hermione took the small gap of time she had to gently clean her robes. The dust came off quickly, and her senses were overwhelmed by the musk she hadn't smelled in almost two years.

It was very assaulting, but so him that Hermione gave in to a quick smile. The amount of times they'd argued over the correct translation of the runes of St. Canterbole at that table, or snogged on that sofa... nostalgia was a special type of witch.

"Were you going to owl first?" Said a smooth voice from the doorway, and Hermione jolted slightly as she gave a small step back to keep her balance.

"Obviously not," she replied quickly.

Snape looked so young, and it caught her off guard for a moment as she regained whatever composure was left from her call with her parents. In fact, he looked so young that was curious as to if it was really him or not. He looked good, as if he'd worn years of charms and they'd all been cast off recently. Had she really not seen him in two years?

"What are you doing here?"

It was not inquiring, more like accusatory, as if she was the Auror, not Harry or Ron.

"If you didn't want me to pop in at my will, you should have put the wards back up."

Black eyes only narrowed, and Hermione was reminded of why she broke things off in the first place.

"Right, obviously I just shouldn't have come."

"No? You stood in my sitting area for quite a bit, you need something from me, don't you?"

Hermione pursed her lips, and as though her body was not in accordance with her mind, her chest let out a heavy sigh, one of her biggest indicators that she was upset. Severus took this sign with a hefty smirk which he did not try to hide, much to her growing anger.

"Sod it, yes! Okay, I sort of... told my parents we were together."

A blank stare was her reception, and Hermione was mildly uncomfortable as her shoes sunk into his thick black carpet.

"They asked me if I had someone, and they haven't asked me this in seven bloody years, so I was a little shocked. Well, I was planning a trip to Australia, and I was supposed to be with them for two weeks, but they could only get an interim dentist for one week! So, while I was panicking, she asked if I was there, and in saying yes, she just... assumed that I meant yes to having a wizard! And then she asked who you were, and I could not spend an entire two weeks with Ron or any of my other... besides you who seemed most tolerable."

Severus had the audacity to chuckle at her, moving forward a few steps menacingly, the room suddenly feeling smaller with him in it.

"Almost two years we spent together, longer than any of your other boys, and I am reduced to 'most tolerable'?"

A finger was thrust in his chest, and Hermione attempted not to crumble under that voice. Why was velvet so sharp when used by an angry Severus Snape?

Hermione ignored the shiver down her spine at the hurt in his eyes. She'd seen so many different sides of Severus that this one only fazed her a little bit, but it still did some damage to her cause.

"I don't mean to reduce you to anything Severus. I just need your help for two weeks, and then I will never bother you again."

"As if that's how I wish it. You're the one who ceased all of our relations, Hermione."

She wished she could make the Ministry pass a law saying it was illegal for Severus Snape to speak her name.

"Sorry I didn't want to start a family at twenty-something."

He growled, then seemed to compose whatever it was that was going on with his emotions, taking on the well-known facade of composed Potions Master.

"Will you do me the favor or not? A week in Australia by ourselves without any interruptions so you can mull about if you wish in the basement, then one week pretending to be a happy couple? Or at least amiable."

"I cannot just turn on a happy face, witch."

Hermione cringed. It had been such an endearing term a while back.

"Fine, you don't owe me anything anyways. I apologize for bothering you."

Hermione headed towards the floo, her back turned away from the imposing wizard dressed in his normal black robes. She must have lost count of the amount of times she'd taken the blasted time-consuming garments off of him.

"Wait." It was not a suggestion.

She did not dignify him by turning back around, only halting in front of his fireplace.

"I will do this for you. I only ask a favor in return for yours."

"What?" Hermione bit out, turning back to him and seeing something in his eyes she'd never seen before. Desperation.

"Never come back here again."

Wondering why his tune had changed from only a few minutes ago when he hadn't wanted this to be the last time they saw each other, Hermione would take it. It was a very simple favor anyways.

"Deal, you have twenty-three days until we leave for Australia. My flat at eight in the morning, no later."

And with that she was gone.

Twenty-Three Days Later...

Hermione was sipping on a cuppa when her flat's floo roared up and emitted a man cloaked in black.

"Are you ready to dazzle my parents, Severus?"

He held only a small bag, which Hermione could tell held a lot more in it than met the eye.

"In one week? We'll have to brush up on a few things about us, but I suppose I can be civil to your muggle relations."

"They don't know anything about you or any of my relationships, so keep your mouth shut on that, and pretend we've spent the last little bit together. Other than that, just lying will suffice."

"I'll inform them that we have wild intercourse and that I intend to leave you the moment you're attached."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Severus' dramatics and attempted to keep the calm and almost playful conversation they had going. This would be so much more painless if they could remain at an even state of disdain.

"You do that, then I'll be hiding your body. Come now, we have to be at the Ministry in fifteen minutes."

"Best be leaving then."

"Yes," she agreed, gathering up her bags as they were all shrunken, heading towards her fireplace to get her to where she needed to go.

The trip there was painless enough, but walking around with Severus Snape drew many eyes to her. She felt uncomfortable being seen with someone she very abruptly dumped, but attempted to ignore the stares as they traveled to the Portkey Department.

Australia was warm, and neither party was prepared when they hit ground about a half mile from her parents secluded coastal property.

"That is never a pleasant experience," Severus commented with a shiver, shedding his suit-jacket and undoing his shirt-sleeves, pushing them up over his elbows and relieving himself of the top two buttons.

Hermione couldn't help but stare at the man as he exposed his white skin to the hot sun of Australia. She almost stopped full movement when she noticed the pronounced muscles peeking through. Had Severus Snape been working on his physique?

She brushed the thought away as she rid herself of her coat and trainers, slipping on sandals and dealing with her jeans for the time being. They wouldn't last long once they reached the house.

"This way," she muttered, attempting to get the image of the wizard behind her out of her head.

When they'd been together, he was just a skinny Professor who hadn't gotten sun in ages. Only one of those things was true now. For some reason she just couldn't imagine Severus anywhere near a training machine. 

Soon enough they were inside the gloriously air-conditioned home.

"It's bloody hot outside. I don't know why my parents insisted on keeping this place."

"The view is nothing like I've seen before."

Hermione stopped emptying her pocketbook and looked out at the view she'd seen several times now. Its beauty no less, but its novelty gone. Then, something hit her unexpectedly when she saw Severus staring from the window.

"You've never traveled before, have you?"

"No, haven't even seen the English Channel."

Hermione breathed in heavily. England was so small, and he'd never been to the edge of it? And what of Hogwarts? Had he only seen those grounds for beauty? Why hadn't she known this for the original time they were together?

"Go, the water doesn't bite."

He only shook his head, attempting to keep the look of being Professor Snape.

Hermione looked at the bared forearms and saw his faded dark-mark. It was sallow, and looked more like a healing bruise than anything resembling a tattoo. When they'd been together, she'd tried spell after spell to get it off of him, but eventually she just ended up kissing it every chance she got. Severus had said that the action alone made it fade.

"You seemed to have been left an itinerary."

"The maid must have done so for my parents, she won't be back until we're gone. Mum loves the therapy of dishes."

"What a strange parent you possess."

Hermione laughed, and felt at ease for the first time since she'd hung up the phone twenty-three days ago.

"She is excited to meet you, which makes one of them. They think it's good I snagged myself an older wizard."

This amused Severus, and Hermione found herself pleased with such a thing.

"I'm putting on a bathing suit and going to the beach with about five books. You have free reign of the house and the kitchen which is stocked as far as mum told me. Have at it."

Hermione decided she couldn't be in the room with him looking so... whatever it was that was making her attracted to him again, and headed towards her room. It wasn't necessarily hers, but she'd laid claim to it the first time her parents had hesitantly invited her down under.

She slipped her clothes off efficiently and grabbed a towel out of her now enlarged bags, feeling cold as she went from one climate to another so drastically. The bathing suit was a simple two-piece in red, and her Gryffindor pride outshone her.

The sitting area and kitchen were empty of Severus luckily as Hermione made her way through the house and towards the warm sand with a few books in her hand. Some of them were to be transfigured into a chair and umbrella, and the rest were to be read.

There were no muggles close, and Hermione took the opportunity to transfigure her books, looking out at the water with reverence. It was gorgeous, and she just wished she was here alone for the week. Bringing Severus was such a bad idea, especially seeing as he was the one who was placing himself next to her.

It would have been fine, really, but he was in swimming trunks now, black ones, and his black shirt was still on, just completely unbuttoned.

Hermione swallowed hard at the expanse of skin. Who was he and where in bloody hell was Severus Snape?

The wizard was unabashed, his thin body enticing and not at all showing the forty-something years he had on him. Although he certainly looked like a Vampire because of the whiteness reflecting off of him, Hermione couldn't turn away no matter how much it hurt her eyes to stare.

"You don't have a book," she noticed placidly.

"Aren't you the observant one?"

"Insufferable," she muttered, attempting to pull her own attention back to the book in hand.

"You picked up quite a few of my mannerisms over the course of our relationship, Hermione."

"Don't remind me, people wondered why my hair looked so greasy."

She was hiding behind insults, just like any healthy adult would do in this situation.

"I shower every day, it's not my fault black hair and cauldrons are an awful combination."

Hermione released a soft laugh, then looked over at the brooding man. He still hadn't looked over at her, and he really should have been if he was this close. Why wasn't he staring at her, or quipping back, attempting to josh her into a relationship with him again? Didn't he want her still? She was wearing next to nothing, at least one glance must have happened, right?

With her vane thoughts at the forefront of her mind, the book in her hands dropped, she turned over to the much more interesting matter at hand.

"Why are you here?"

"You asked me to come," he answered plainly, and she felt as though she was back in school, him answering questions as though she were the bane of his existence.

"But why would you agree? I would have much preferred to be here alone, and I am very sure you knew that."

Finally, he turned over in his chair to look at her. How out-of-place the potions master of Hogwarts looked in the silly piece of bright furniture.

"If you did, you wouldn't have asked me and your subconscious wouldn't have chosen me. You could have given your parents any number of excuses yet you chose to be here with me, Hermione. I am merely holding a slight hope that you would take pity on an old flame, and that you'd find that part of you that wants me still."

"I don't want a family... I don't need one. I would be fine having no children in my life, Severus, and that was all you wanted from me."

She did not expect the aghast scoff or the abrupt turn so he was facing the ocean again.

"I wanted you for you, Hermione. I merely told you that I had always wanted a chance to treat a child the way I wanted to be by my parents, and you took that as I want to stifle your career for my familial pleasures," he hissed.

She'd found Severus Snape again. Minus robes and any type of propriety.

"I just... assumed you wanted to start immediately."

"Without a marriage? I spent plenty of time in the muggle world, Hermione, I am not daft. Only an imbecile would attempt to go about things in such an odd way in the wizarding world. I want you to thrive, Hermione, and if you want to become Minister for Magic before you have children, then I want to bring you there. I just want to be there, and I want the chance for something shared between us like that."

Overwhelmed, Hermione wondered if she'd overreacted when told that he wanted children with her. There had been an urgency when he'd told her, hadn't there? She was doubting herself now, and suddenly, with two years behind her and their relationship, Hermione felt assured that those had been things she'd wanted too, no matter when they came. Screw waiting when the only of her lovers she'd actually loved was here with her.

Standing, Hermione stuck her toes in the sand and looked down at Severus with an apologetic look, but also hunger. The want was hidden, so she checked up and down the private beach in hopes of exactly what her parents paid for.

With no one in the vicinity of the lengthy beach, she decided that now was a good a time as ever to slip out of her bathing suit and have her way with the man.

Severus was shocked, when she pushed down her bottoms and straddled him, but his hands didn't struggle to find their way to her hips almost as though he was under some type of Imperius.

"Hermione-"

"Just let me make it up to you," she said, hands surrounding his neck and inching into his hair.

"Whatever you want, witch."

And she felt her body roll with anticipation, skin crawling, spine turning to mush as he flipped her over in his chair, pushing his trunks to his feet and not even caring over his shirt as they made love on the beach. It wasn't in the house, Mum!

They had a lot to sort out, but this was thrilling for the time being.

So the Granger's came to vacation with an honest, happy couple, which thrilled them once they got to know Severus just a bit more. While Hermione being as happy as she was wasn't the cure-all to her shoddy relationship with her parents, it was enough to make them comfortable again, and really that was more than enough for her. Not only did she have her family back, but she also had Severus now, too.