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"Drop it," Seth snapped.

So the sexily licking chocolate didn't seem to work with getting Seth out of his foul mood.

"Seth—"

The bathroom door slammed and I flinched as the walls shook from the impact. I swiveled, with the help of the socks I'd slipped on after I changed out of my Cinderella dress, and pursed my lips at Ethan who simply shrugged.

"Once he's cooled down—maybe we can talk about it then. I told you he wouldn't want to talk about it now, Cass. You gotta stop being so pushy!"

I bit my lip and glanced down at my intertwined hands. If I didn't keep my hands clutched together I'd start picking at things: my cuticles, my shirt, the crooked picture on Ethan's wall. I had forced the topic even after Ethan's warning, but if Seth hadn't been so downright rude to Anna and Maddox I might have let it slide.

"Should I go home?" I asked, softer and more vulnerable sounding than I would've liked, even if it was to Ethan.

Ethan closed the distance between us and his arm shot out. He cupped the back of my neck and leaned in closely. "No. You should not. He'll get over it and if he can't we will talk about it, eventually." He kissed my nose and pulled back just as quickly with a contemplative look crossing his face. "Are you sure surrogacy is something you want to do?"

I thought about it. Before he'd even vocalized the question out loud, I'd thought about it. And I let myself play over the question again. Did I want this? It was too important of a question to not think about it more, but I slowly nodded after a minute. "You already know I'm going through the counseling right now and I know the risks."

His thumb caressed the curve of my cheek. "What about emotional attachment? I know you, Cassie."

I frowned and pulled my head back a little bit, but he applied enough pressure to let me know he wasn't letting go. "What does that mean? I'm not an emotional loon!"

"I didn't mean that. I meant..." He trailed off and smiled gently down at me. He brushed his free hand through my hair and added, "that when you love you love. You love hard and when you get hurt by it, you break down even harder."

"You repeated yourself. And who doesn't break down from a lost love?"

Ethan chuckled and dropped his forehead to mine. "You love with your whole heart and once you love them, you always will, no matter what they've done to you."

Rolling my eyes, I scoffed at him, wishing I could stop the flush to my cheeks. He was closer than he was before now, with his forehead touching mine, and I had trouble thinking of anything else other than his lips against mine but I couldn't stand for such nonsense. "That's not true! Why are you being so weird?" I mumbled the question, and then rolled my eyes and placed my hands on his chest, turning my face up to his. "Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Ethan pulled away just enough that I couldn't reach him. "Not. And I have one word, well one name, to say to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Are we still on that?"

"Katie."

It was like he'd punched me in the stomach. Katie was the name of the best girlfriend I'd ever had. She also happened to be that stereotypical geek middle schooler girl that changed once we hit high school and with that change came a brutal personality. The more popular Katie got, the meaner she'd become towards me.

It was Ethan who told me how she talked about me behind my back. That he'd told her to stop or he was going to tell me. She told him not to bother, that she'd tell me herself. And she did. The very next day, she handed me a folder, a red one with crude words written all over it. Inside that folder was my torn homework... not just homework, but a project I'd been working on since the beginning of that semester. She knew about it because everyone in Lit class had to do it. Katie had an evil, slimy smile on her face as she'd watched me stare down at the torn paper. I would never forget that day or that look on her face.

"I also erased your back up," she said, handing me my now broken memory stick. "Well, all of your backed up files anyway."

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

The smile slipped off her face and she glared at me. "I don't like you. We're not friends anymore. We really never were. I only ever indulged you, just like everyone else does for you. Do you really think Ethan's parents want you? Do you think it was on their 'Things to do before I die' list to take care of you?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as the stinging bite of words sent chills down my arms, but I choose to focus on what she'd said first. "You can't just decide on your own, that you aren't my friend. I understand though. We're different. So, if it's what you want I'll stop trying to talk to you and have lunch with you."

"I do want! I've tried to make it clear for a while now, but I guess you're too stupid to take a hint! Do you know my friends laugh at you? At the way you dress? God, Goodwill has better clothes than this! As much as she doesn't want you, I'm sure Ethan's mother would buy you better clothes. Why do you have to be this way?"

I turned my head away, keeping my eyes glued to the floor. "Okay, Katie. I'll stop, but I'll be there for you if you ever need me."

"Why would I ever need you? Why would anyone ever need a foster kid with two sets of dead parents? I just hope Ethan's aren't next. Bad luck follows you, so I ask again, why would I ever need you?"

She'd walked away. Throughout high school, after that incident, we'd never spoken again unless it was Katie with her friends deciding to bully me. I always found it weird that the bullying only ever happened when Katie was surrounded by people. One time Katie's friends even got violent and punched me a few times. That had been the day I almost gave up on Katie, but the worried look she'd cast back to me spoke volumes. It was enough for me.

And then, in the middle of senior year, I came to school to see images of Katie naked and doing things that I didn't know where possible. There was a video too. Apparently, she'd gotten too drunk at one of her friends' parties and a few guys got a little too frisky with her. It pissed her boyfriend off and with the help of her 'supposed friends,' he got the footage from the source and spread it around even more through online social media. I'd never watched that video, but heard she'd been practically passed out for half of it. Katie's parents had enough evidence, thanks to the rapid spread of the tape, to file numerous lawsuits against the individuals involved, but Katie didn't want them to do anything, so they dropped them.

She'd been strong for weeks after it had happened, but one day I found Katie sobbing in the bathroom and everything she'd ever done to me, all the cruel things, washed away because it was nothing compared to what she was going through at that moment. I hugged her immediately. She didn't even put up a fight. I dried her face, gathered her book bag and car keys, and took her home. I stayed with her all day and all night. I even ditched school for the rest of the week so I could be with her. It was like the fight had just drained out of her and all that was left was the cruel reality. There'd been a lot of crying, a lot of eating junk food, rom-com marathons, the usual girl night turned into a week. I would've done it for a month if I had known, but the school was calling and I couldn't afford to get hackled by authorities, so I went back. I tried to get her to come with me, but she said she couldn't face them yet. I didn't see it. She made plans with me to do something after I got out of school too, but when I got back to her house it was empty. Her parents weren't there. Katie wasn't there.

Two more weeks passed without contact from Katie or her parents, but her parents showed up eventually. Surfaced and crying at Ethan's parents' door with a letter to me:

"We figured you'd be here, Cassie."

"Is Katie okay?" I asked, not even bothering to say hello.

Katie's mom shook her head and started sobbing. It was her father who answered my question.

"No. She-a-she killed herself," he said, his voice cracking with grief.

Out of the corner of my eye, I heard Ethan's mom gasp and slap a hand over her mouth as she walked towards me and Ethan, who was standing at my back.

"When?" I asked the question, but I knew the answer. It was the day I'd gone back to school. The day I'd left her alone.

"Oh Rob," Katie's mother sobbed. She crumpled into her husband for support before continuing, "two weeks ago."

They gave me the thick envelope that contained the very long letter, which had already been opened and probably read by them.

I stared at it dumbfounded, my heart hurting. "I never should've left her."

"Cassie, it's not your fault," Ethan said, his voice wobbling.

I glanced back at him, watching his tears stream freely down his face.

What's wrong with me?

Why am I not crying too?

Another question I knew the answer too. Katie had told me that day she said she wasn't my friend anymore. I'm bad luck to be around and as a by-product, I'm used to death. I'm used to death taking away people I love.

"I still have that letter," I said to Ethan, wrapping my arms tightly around him as the stark, cold memory of that day drifted away and allowed me to breathe again.

He pushed my hair aside and kissed my neck. "I know you do. I saw it when I helped you move into that crappy apartment. I still object to you living there, by the way."

"Did you read it?" I asked him.

"Did you?" he asked.

I gave a small shrug.

"You need to read it, Cassie. It's been long enough."

"I will. Someday."

"Just not today?"

I nodded, and quickly changed the subject. "I love you, Ethan," I whispered into his chest before pulling away. I could feel my eyes water. "And I think I might be falling in love with Seth. I know it's only been a little while since we even... well, you know. Anyhow, I just want you to know."

Life is too short to not tell the ones you love that you do love them, Ethan bringing Katie up solidified it. I would tell Seth too, even if...

"Oh babe, you're already in love with Seth. I saw it the moment you came out of The Coffee Barn wrapped in his jacket. It didn't take much of a push once we all crossed over that friend line. Really, you were already there."

"Seth doesn't love me though, does he?" I asked.

I mean sure he loved my body, loved having sex with me... that feeling was entirely mutual, but a romantic love? That type of love probably hadn't even surfaced with Seth.

Ethan paused and slowly exhaled, a frown worrying his brow, "I don't know."