Hi.. so it's me again. I don't know what to do. I just don't know. I don't know HOW I'm gonna continue this, but do you know what it feels like to get your best friend taken away from you? Yes, I'm talking about the one and only best friend I talked about in my 'Being Homesick' entry. 

Yup. She's leaving. Forever. 

And I don't know what to fucking do about it. Yes, I've been crying for hours. It's not solving anything. How am I gonna survive in this messed up country when the one person who gave me a reason to continue is leaving? And she's going back. To my home, Canada. I don't even fucking know what to do. 

Mom, if you ever read this, you were right. 

"Friends come and go, so never get attached." That's what you told me.

I don't know why I got attached. 

Well, Vanessah, if you're reading this, know that you're my last best friend, and I am never, I mean NEVER, getting close to anyone again. You know all my secrets. And hopefully I know all yours. 

I'm just so angry at... God. I'm not the most religious person, definitely not after this. He always takes my happiness away from me. 

When I was 7, I made a couple of friends. I had to leave them because I was moving to Canada. I was angry, I was pissed. Fast forward, and I'm 8th grade. I had to leave them all. My best friends, my close friends. I started going to a new school, made new friends. A couple of years go by and I become close with a bunch of them. Then I moved to damn Dubai. Left all of them. We talk once in a while. My closest friend and I don't even talk anymore. And it kills me. Now, I live in Dubai, I finally begin to be a happy person again, I make the bestest friend I possibly can. Only to find out she's going back to Canada. 

Back. To. Canada. 

She's leaving me. 

And it's not even a fucking prank.

God, how I wish it was a prank! And what sucks, is that she won't visit Dubai, and I probably won't go back to Canada until university starts because money doesn't grow on trees.

I'm stuck in this city.

Alone. 

I know I'm supposed to end this entry with '#NotAshamed, Afterall the unique you is the best you.' But I don't quite believe that at the moment.

Just help me out. Somehow.

I don't know how you do it Vanessah, but you just sent me a longass text about how life sucks but God has a plan for everyone, and I believe that. I mean, if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't hate God at the moment, would I? You sent me a bunch of memories, that got me fucking crying again... So much for excusing myself and crying in the bathroom alone, only to come back to my room and cry my heart out when I read your message, right? I want to post your message here, so all these people can see, but I know that is something that is ours. Just ours.

Vanessah, I know you're reading this because you always read all my work... know that I love you, and I'll never stop loving you. We're gonna go to the same college and we're gonna be roommates. And I hope you'll be able to make great friends in Canada, and wear shorts and show of your legs and skin freely in that country. I wish you all the best in Canada. I love you. So fucking much. Ich liebe dich, Schatz.

- Mahum 

P.S, I just lost my German teacher. Vanessah, if you can pull off teaching me German all the way from Canada, be my guest. I really want to learn German so we can go to Germany together once highschool is over. I'm counting on that trip, even though I just made it up on spot.